There is an interesting excerpt in the novel, which takes place after Cang Xuan's coronation, when Feng Long, Jing and others came to congratulate him. Jing was drunk and started playing the song Xiao Yao sang for him on the zither, making everyone present uncomfortable until Feng Long sliced the zither in half in fury, and Xiao Yao knocked Jing out with a drugged wine. As Feng Long angrily carried out the unconscious Jing, Xiao Yao chased after him.
Vol 2 Ch11:
Feng Long appeared at a loss. "When Jing attended my clan leader initiation ceremony, I told him that you agreed to marry me. He congratulated me, so I thought he had already gotten over it. However, tonight, he got drunk to the point of forgetting himself. I have known him since we were children, and have never seen him like this. Obviously, I am your fiancé, but I just can't help feeling guilty like I robbed something he loved dearly."
Xiao Yao stared at the unconscious Jing. "Don't feel that way."
"I understand. Xiao Yao, are you really willing to marry me?"
Xiao Yao looked at Feng Long. "Do you feel it is awkward and troublesome, and regret it?"
Feng Long hurriedly waved his hand. "No, no, don't misunderstand. I know how to handle Jing. I was worried that you started to regret it after hearing Jing play tonight."
Xiao Yao said, "I have no regrets. I have been wandering since I was a child. Although I appear to be carefree, drifting with the tide, I am actually very weary of wandering, and want to stop. However, the people I meet - the one who is willing is powerless, while the one who is able to is unwilling. Only you are willing to give me a safe harbour for me to stop and settle down. Thank you!"
There is an intriguing subtext to Xiao Yao's description of the two kinds of people she met - 有心的无力，有力的无心 . The obvious meaning is:
the one who is willing is powerless, while the one who is able to is unwilling
However, there is also a hidden connotation to her words:
the one who has feelings (for me) is powerless, while the one who is able to, has no feelings (for me)
Since she is describing two people she hoped she would be able to settle down with, it also implies that she nursed this hope even though she believes the latter has no feelings for her, which in turn is a testament to where her deepest feelings lie even if she would not admit it, since in her mind, it is one-sided. It makes it even more ironic then that she would still take the initiative to appeal to that person to take her away from a marriage she clearly did not want despite refusing chance after chance to cancel her marriage, first by Feng Long, Cang Xuan and even her father. It also gives context to her mute refusal to answer Xiang Liu's last question when he probed her mind after forcibly taking her away from the wedding.
blabla100:
Dramadoggy2021:
Elise:
nathsketch:
