Why Do We Really Hate Lady Yulou?

 SenriLee:

If Wei Bao had survived and she had married him, I doubt she would've became as twisted as she is now,

I absolutely love your analysis! It's so thoughtful and balanced. You really captured the complexity of the situation. 😊

 SooReneccs:

From her my takeaway is gratitude in every little  things everyday good or bad, to be joyful  for nothing is permanent ! 

Nice takeaway :)

 playful_site_2714:

Because she is a power hungry woman who would not hesitate to snatch Wei Shao away from Da Qiao. 

Other than being absolutely ruthless. 

True, still she's not just power-hungry for the sake of it—she’s driven by deep-rooted pain from being used and abandoned as a child. Becoming the most powerful woman, like the Empress, is her way of ensuring that no one can ever hurt or manipulate her again. Her rampage is a reflection of how desperately she needs control and security. 🫠

My reason for disliking her is because she plays victim. She tells Wei Shao how much SHE suffered in comparison to Xiao Qiao, who had a wonderful childhood and was loved and whatever, yet she never reflects or acknowledges how loved she was. She had two men (maybe 3 of Liu Yan falls for her) who would've given her the world yet all she harps on is how bad it is for her.

@senrilee says she’s a victim of her circumstances, in a way I agree.  however her are som other reasons why that’s not valid.

1. we all love a goods smart/clever character. we just tend to dislike the ones that sacrifice everything and everyone around them just for their future. She literally kills a temple full of people , commoners worshipping, to prove she has foresight. How disgusting.
2. she is actively choosing this life. She has 50k troops under her, her family could never reach her if she truly wanted to be separated from them.
3. she has no bottom line. That’s dangerous, the people in the temple, tampering with grain relief for the starving.
   
   

all In all, yea, life as a women during this time sucks, but she doesn’t strive for anything better for herself that doesn’t require turmoil. 

The problem with these characters is that they always pick up the wrong lessons from their ordeals which almost always self-inflicted. They do not take accountability for their wrongdoings. It is everybody's fault except them. Zero introspection. 

 Mercy:

The problem with these characters is that they always pick up the wrong lessons from their ordeals which almost always self-inflicted. They do not take accountability for their wrongdoings. It is everybody's fault except them. Zero introspection. 

Yes, indeed. Still, from a psychological perspective, these characters’ actions make sense. Their behavior is a trauma response, where their amygdala (emotion center) hijacks the prefrontal cortex (rational thinking). In that state, introspection and accountability are almost impossible. It’s not that they won’t take responsibility, it’s that their brain isn’t in a place to process it properly. So, their reactions are actually pretty realistic and quite typical, given what they’ve experienced.

 Playset9656:

Yes, Wei Bogong was kind-hearted and forgiving.
As of Wei Shao, he is simply repeating what he experienced as a child— the killing and execution of his family. There’s a saying, "hurt people hurt people," and that’s exactly what we see with him.

Yup.  Wei Shao experienced PTSD.  Poor child.  In the novel, he was only 12 when his father and brother died but the novel never said if he was in the scene unlike the drama where he saw them killed in front of his eyes.