Commentary on The Tale of Rose

I wrote this here because I felt it isn't a real review but more of a commentary on the drama. 

Before I begin, you should know that I rated this drama a 10/10. It's a masterpiece for me. Here are my thoughts (Major spoilers down below):

This was so good, that half of the time (especially in the first half) watching this I was so frustrated, angry, disgusted, worried, sad, even scared, that I physically felt unwell, mostly with a stomachache. (The other half of the drama was filled with womenpower, sweet love, passion, the greatest sibling relationship ever, and lovely family time.)

Thinking about this drama at first I thought maybe it's a slight bit too exaggerated (everything that can happen in someone's life happen in this drama), but all throughout watching it everything felt relatable (not in a way that I have experienced the same, but in a way that I have seen some of it happen to others around me). Some things I felt couldn't possibly happen to me, but then I realised if I were in her shoes and the red flags were hidden, I would have probably done the same. It made me realize this drama isn't unrealistic, it can happen to anyone. Meeting the wrong one for you, miscommunication, manipulation, having different wishes and goals. This drama captures every unfortunate thing that can happen to you, but it also shows a way to go forward.

Let's talk about the men:
The first guy, Zhuang Guodong (her first love): a basic love story, there is attraction, adventure, a sweet honeymoon phase. But there wasn't a real talk about future goals and wishes. Both had expectations on what the future would look like, both expected the other to follow this "normal" path. Miscommunication (or no communication) was the first mistake. But even if they didn't talk beforehand about this, the main problem was how the man did not even consider asking Rose about her opinion (or notifying her) on major life decisions he took. He assumed she would go with him just because she loved him, and he assumed he could make these decisions rightfully without consequences because a career is important for a man and she would understand. In such a way, he became controlling over her life. Not directly controlling everything she does, but with him making all the big decisions, she could only walk along his path.
His red flags were visible from quite early on, the not communicating with her about working in France, the expectation she would eventually join him, the "my career is more important cause I'm a man", even the smaller things like him always dictating their restaurant orders, and not telling his mom she was his girlfriend that first time. I was so frustrated with him, I was internally screaming 'leave him!!!' every time he did such things or when he tried to get back together. That was another red flag: he never understood why she broke up with him, but it felt like he wasn't even truly trying to understand.

The second guy, Fang Xiewen (her husband), seemed like such a great guy at first, especially from her perspective. She couldn't have seen his red flags, because he hid them well. He was sweet, considerate, caring, helpful, a great cook, interested in whatever she liked, hardworking, and when he later wanted to start a business, he was fine with having her contribute too. What he hid was how he was too interested in her (this itself is not bad, but) he was obsessed with her. He tried to learn everything about her (which I normally would like and appreciate in a partner) but he used it to manipulate her. Even before they were in a relationship, he would work out a plan to make her live in the same building. He painted her room in a theme of one of the artists she liked. When she figured it out, they already had such a strong relationship, that she couldn't have a thought about breaking up with him over such a small issue. Later in their relationship, his controlling became more clear. Always wanting to know where she was, not allowing her to work, becoming jealous when she met a man, letting his mom stay with them (without communicating that to her in advance) to take care of her and the baby but also to keep an eye on her, he even put a tracking device on her phone.
They had met when she was finding herself again, she was motivated and had dreams she wanted to achieve. I think she liked being in a relationship with him because she knew that he met her and fell in love with her for who she was. I think she thought that he understood her. But after marrying, he became similar to her ex-boyfriend, controlling and paving her life path. He wanted her to be a stay-at-home mom. But how could she and why would only she have to sacrifice her dreams and goals? His controlling mostly came from feeling inferior, scared that she might leave him for another man, that's why he always wanted to know who she met, and always tried to keep her at home. His mom also definitely played a role in making him more controlling of her.

The third guy, Pu Jiaming (her soulmate), was the best, I absolutely loved him and the way he treated both Rose and her daughter. He was the one who brought the world to her.
The other two took it away from her or took her away from it, but he brought it to her, and enjoyed it together with her. He allowed her to bloom again and experience the world, life, with all its emotions. It was a tragic love but it was freeing and beautiful.

Then the fourth (last) guy, He Xi: it wasn't a real love relationship that they had. They never got together, but the way they supported each other was great. There was definitely some love between them, but even if it didn't fully bloom to romantic love, there was some love that came from respect and admiration towards each other. The way it ended was great too, an open ending that there will be more to come, but what the future brings will stay in the future.

I liked seeing how the way they treated Rose's daughter reflected how their relationship together was. Guy 1 was very stiff, he didn't know how to treat a child, he was uncomfortable in that situation. He didn't know what to do or what the girl would want or need. Just like he was never able to understand Rose. But he did think he could learn how to treat a child, just like he thought they could get back together again.

Guy 2, the father, was often very sweet and caring, he loved his daughter, just like how he had loved Rose. But that scene where he told his daughter not to touch the eggs, and she dropped one and he immediately got angry because she hadn't done what he said, that felt reflective to how he didn't allow Rose to do things she wanted to do and to explore. The way Rose treated her daughter was to teach her how to clean it, and not restricting her from learning new things. Also, when he tried to take control over their lives again by keeping her in Shanghai and away from her mom, again restricting their lives. I'm glad they were able to talk it through and better their relationship afterwards. He also showed his inferiority complex in his relationship with his daughter, he tried to give her everything and more than she needed (so many toys), spoiling her to make himself the best dad, and he tried to fish for information about Rose and who she was meeting from their daughter.

The third guy treated her daughter the best. The first thing was that he was honest with the girl from the start. This also being a small problem (telling the girl that the bunny was just dead) but he made up for it by being their for the child, and helping her with her grief, and in the end he made her learn more about the world in a healthy way instead of closing her off from it. He was interested in whatever interested her, they played together, and he made sure to include her in whatever he was doing (e.g. When recording sounds of the wind, he also taught her how to do it and let her record the sounds together). He was just great with how he treated them both.

The fourth guy didn't have much interaction with the daughter (he did treat her nicely too), but that didn't really matter for the story of Rose.

Then let's talk about the others in this drama. 

Rose's brother, Huang Zhenhua, and Susu were such a power couple! They had many difficulties in their relationship, sometimes there were some problems between them, sometimes it was because of external factors, but they always made sure to make it up, be there for each other and learn how to become better partners. They allowed the other to catch up at their own pace and waited for each other, and you could see their love grow and them slowly opening up more to each other, and rely on each other. I loved them together. The problems Susu had with her family were so painful to watch, but it was good to see her getting better.

Then you have Rose's parents, they were such great parents, they had a healthy relationship themselves, and were able to give Rose and her brother a beautiful, warm and safe space, not just while they were growing up, but even later in life. You could also see that when Susu got to their home, she was immediately invited into that safe and warm space.

Then there are the two dads, Rose's first boyfriend's dad, and Huang Zhenhua's first girlfriend's dad. They were both great in how they treated them. I especially like how Rose's first boyfriend's dad treated her! When she broke up with him, the dad didn't just blindly side with his son. He even apologized for his son and treated her to dinner too.

I am glad to see character improvements in all of the characters! They made it look natural, realistic. They didn't suddenly change, but had the chance to learn from mistakes and to learn to understand each other more. With every single one of the main leads and of the 4 guys, I can find something in which they made growth.

It was difficult to see some people's expectations of a patriarchal society, because I recognize it around me. But it was freeing to see how she found herself again and how she taught her daughter. How there is space in this world for her to be herself, and how she developed healthy and beautiful relationships with the people around her, her friends, family and lovers.

There is more I could write about this drama, and there is probably something I forgot to mention. I recommend you to watch it yourself ^^

A small review here; I love the story, I love the actors, I love the acting, I love the messages, I love the OSTs, I love the setting and sceneries, I just loved everything about this drama.

(What are your thoughts on this drama, please share them here with me!) 

 song:

one thing i really liked about the drama was that it showed rose growing from their relationships. rather than missing the past (her exes), she moved on and focused on herself.

Thank you for your comment! Yes I agree with you, I also liked how she didn't linger in the past, but was able to move on