Ep 6 - confession: the perfect scene (+dialogue analyses)

The confession scene in ep 6 is … everything to me. I have seen it far too many times. I don’t believe perfect things exist.
Yet, for a first kiss in a BL drama, this comes as close to perfection as I have ever seen. It touched something deep inside me, and from that moment, I knew this drama would hold a special place in my heart forever. I don’t know if I can do this moment justice, but I want to try. Also, I have a few (hopefully interesting) things to say about the translations of the original Chinese dialogue. ;)
(It's long, brace yourself)

Let’s revisit this together. :)

The lines Zi Ang says before their first and Shu He before their second kisses made me lose sleep. They made sense, and yet, in another way, they didn’t. While the show was airing, I felt they were as much foreshadowing as reflection, though I couldn’t fully place it without having seen the full drama. Did anyone else feel the same?

Zi Ang says, "我心甘情愿当这个替死鬼." Translated as "I'm more than willing to be the scapegoat."
In English, scapegoat implies taking blame for someone else, but Shu He was never blamed?

The Chinese term carries a different nuance, emphasizing sacrifice.
Zi Ang is essentially saying:
"If death is what it takes, let me be the one."

And it’s ture: just before this moment, he drank what he thought was poisoned wine, so it is not metaphorical. It is a declaration of love stronger than survival itself.
After their kiss, the perfection continues. Their breathing reflects the racing of their hearts, a masterful display by both actors. Zi Ang studies Shu He, wanting another kiss, but Shu He pulls away. Not because he doesn’t want to, but out of fear. One last act of defiance. But Zi Ang will not let him go.

Shu He finally removes his metaphorical and literal armor. He reveals his crippled hand, the cruel torture by his brother, who stole away one way of freedom within his cage for Shu He.

I think this is also very important, because lies and truth are a central theme throughout the series. And at this point, there are no lies from Shu He's side. Shu He is 100% truthful and genuine and has revealed absolutely everything to Zi Ang.
Yet, Zi Ang hasn't, and this is a major (the major?) discrepancy that will come into play in ep 8.
But back to the scene. ;)

Zi Ang is dismayed (rightfully so), and Shu He admits: "Back then, I could not protect mother. Now I cannot protect myself. I cannot protect you either." Zi Ang only asks if it hurts. He pledges to protect Shu He with all he has. This breaks down Shu He’s walls. God, I'm crying.
The turning point comes when Zi Ang says, "You are too hard on yourself." Shu He seeks one final confirmation: does Zi Ang share his dream for freedom?

Zi Ang answers: "山河万里只有你才是我想要的自由.

By the way, at this point I have to point out the poetry of Chinese language and the dialouge again. I’m sure many of you have seen both translations of this sentence by Zi Ang? The more literal (as on YT) and the more interpreted one from Gagaoolala:

Gaga: "in this vast land…
YT: "Ten thousand miles of mountains and rivers…
… you are the only freedom I want."

but Chinese really shines in the beauty of their characters – simple somehow, yet every Character is a picture, so in a way I feel it is almost a painting:
山 = mountains (shan)
河 = rivers (he)
万 = ten thousand (wan)
里 = ancient measure of length, approx. 500 m (li)

Shu He replies, "别让我再输一次,"
"Don’t let me lose again."

Again, I'd like for a small revision – because in English, "to lose" is too broad of a meaning – (in English you can: lose a person or an item). This is not true for shu 输. Shu in Chinese refers to games, competitions, bets. So "Don't let me be defeated again." is a less ambiguous, closer translation.

If we return to the motif of “Go” or “playing games” for Shu He, it reflects his greed. As he admits in Ep 12, he wanted too much, which led to his downfall. In Go, greedy moves can be powerful if you can defend your territory, but they also leave you vulnerable and can cost you the game. Shu He wants it all: freedom from royal duties, to be with Zi Ang, to find Huai Yi, and live happily ever after.

Whenever Shu He is associated with “games,” it signals decisions made for his own agency, when he pursues something for himself and not others. Ep 1 shows his desire for freedom, while Eps 6 and 12 show him wanting Zi Ang and freedom at the same time.

The line “Don’t let me be defeated again” carries so much weight. It is a plea, a warning, and a roundabout confession, not just about love. For Shu He, love is a gamble. He fears losing but also clings to hope that maybe Zi Ang will keep him safe, honor his promise, and allow him to have it all. It feels almost too good to be true.

Together, these two lines form the emotional axis of their story:
"I'm willing to be the scapegoat."
"Don't let me be defeated again."

Zi Ang vows to sacrifice everything for love.
Shu He pleas with Zi Ang not to let him lose what that sacrifice stands for.

And the foreshadowing is perfect.
Zi Ang will be the one to make Shu He suffer the most. Shu He will lose everything, mostly by Zi Ang’s own hands. Yet this collision of two souls reveals that their only chance at freedom and love is through each other, even if it leads to their downfall.

this respond to a post from @Boho - repeating myself a bit:

This scene is spellbinding and I think it has made it to BL history books. The in crescendo, the pace of all is perfection. ShuHe waiting for ZiAng with this feast after being tortured to ask him to leave. ZiAng knows is fake, showing him with his kiss that his love is real, his desire is visceral, but ShuHe hold onto until couldn't more. What it follows is devastating, yet is beautiful. The kissing is pure surrender. For me, the best scene in the whole series.