The language of deception and love
ZiAng, is that you?
The first time we see the lovers in one frame is in the alleyway, a scene that set the tone for their dynamic of extreme sensuality. There was a deeper meaning: the memories of a child that longed into adulthood for his best friend who once provided him with shelter — in his hidden den and in his heart. ZiAng, is that you? A man who threatens him, who tried to kill his brother. Yes, it was the same child who grew into adulthood, the same flesh and bones, but also was not.
A childhood “acquaintance” as a bargain chip
ZiAng did not fulfill his mission and was prepared to offer his childhood acquaintance as a “sacrificial lamb”. I have used this phrase before referring to ShuHe. He faked a “rescue”, but ShuHe was ahead of his game — he wanted to know more of ZiAng’s intentions, but he also wanted to get closer to him again.
To confuse and get confused
Fake childhood disappearance stories – “We bonded over drinks,” read ZiAng’s report to Jibei Headquarters – ShuHe, beautiful ShuHe, believed him, why not? Who would hide his hardship like this? Yes, ShuHe set out to know his true intentions and tricked ZiAng to discover the mark in his back, but both got trapped in confusion. The poem, the bath, the spark — childhood memories turned into adulthood desire.
“Hiding my only truth in lies”
A magic masquerade night whose murky reality did not clear when the masks were removed. Yet, there was joy and mutual seduction,; only to be blown by suspicion again, and again ZiAng chose to lie despite ShuHe trading his principles and risking his safety for him.
Devastating jealousy
ZiAng, knowing of ShuHe’s impending marriage, drove himself crazy. The reality of his feelings for ShuHe hit him like a ton of bricks. He was no longer the hardened assassin who had closed his heart and memories. He remembered who ShuHe truly was. He encountered what it was to fall in love for the first time and did not know what to do with himself. He needed to understand the reasons why ShuHe should obey as a prince — he did not. He risked his life for the first time for ShuHe and discovered his true mission: he was going to love and protect ShuHe until his last breath.
“You are the only freedom I want”… the road to hell is paved with good intentions
The cruel brother destroyed ShuHe’s cherished abilities, but for ShuHe the most important thing was to keep protecting ZiAng. ZiAng could see through ShuHe’s attempt to deceive him. In the first kiss, he showed ShuHe the kind of love he wanted from him. ShuHe tried to resist, but he was too wounded at all levels — he only wanted to hide in ZiAng like when they were children. ShuHe promised through his tears that ZiAng was the only freedom he wanted. ShuHe begged him not to let him “lose again”. ShuHe kissed ZiAng while ZiAng, still with open eyes, still “hiding his only truth in lies”, was confused for brief second, but desire took him over — both consumed by passionate love.
The lies that others tell
“That” brother — ShuHe finds ZiAng’s brother, doesn’t he? For all of us who have watched these episodes multiple times, it is clear that it was more like the brother and his accomplices found ShuHe. It was all staged by Jibei. We are still questioning if this brother was a real Duan. In any case, ZiAng was happy — he wanted all: his lover and his brother. He did not realise yet that those were incompatible, as the future would tell.
Not a Duan - The same day ZiAng found that he was not a Duan but a Jibei royal, the brother was not such, and his father was a cruel Emperor who killed his mother.
A life together, a world apart
ShuHe and ZiAng had been living their blissful lovers’ life for three months when everything collapsed. It was, after all, based on too much deception by ZiAng and too much sacrifice by ShuHe. ShuHe wanted to be like a pair of swans, together for a lifetime. ZiAng also wanted the same, but he needed to tell the truth — he wanted to tell this and more every day, every season. He did not have the chance. His own personal revenge took over. More than the lies he told before, ZiAng lied the worst when he stabbed ShuHe’s brother and left him with no choice. He was not the freedom that ShuHe wanted, because ZiAng made a choice: he chose revenge over ShuHe’s feelings and with that sealed their destiny.
The lies we tell ourselves
For five years ZiAng fought his way with sword and blood to reach a position of power to recover ShuHe. For five years ShuHe longed for ZiAng in his heart and bed with the conviction that their relationship was not possible. He let ZiAng know. ZiAng went crazy.
Imprisoning ShuHe in the golden cage that was the fake 6th Prince mansion, mistreatment followed one after another. The lies that ZiAng told himself kept screaming in his face: no suffering in war, all because of ShuHe’s protection. Yes, ZiAng was able to convince himself of his own lies — a “smooth talker,” ShuHe branded him. “You love the one who hates you and you hate the one who loves you,” ZiAng screamed — but for ShuHe, he was both.
The lies we tell because of others
ZiAng was dying. The only thing he wanted in the last weeks of his life was to feel ShuHe’s warmth again. For the sake of saving the South Kingdom’s prisoners and dignity, ShuHe gave him that — but also his love again. Once the plot was discovered and cruelty acted upon — courtesy of the little brother — the pain and guilt in ShuHe were unbearable. He wanted to go with dignity, to go before ZiAng. His only lover owed him that, after putting him through hell on earth.
To lie as a redemption
ShuHe never told his lover of his intention. He married him as they both once dreamed — for a brief period, it must have been very short. They lived in the fake 6th Prince mansion. ShuHe told ZiAng loving him was the best choice he made in life. I am sure that was the truth — love is nothing to feel ashamed of. ShuHe went on his own terms, not to escape ZiAng but to love him for eternity. ZiAng went just after him, to finally live with ShuHe in honesty, in love, and in freedom.
