Normalization of Sexual Assault and Dubious Consent in BLs?

Full disclosure: I usually do not watch BLs but this year I ended up watching several because of a friend and because I was in a drama slump. So I am only speaking of what seems like more than the usual amount of this trope in BLs because I very rarely have come across this in straight couple dramas. Not saying it is completely absent but again, it is just my experience since I watched so many of these types of scenes in BLs over the past 2 months.

There are at least 6 BLs that I saw this year, some are still airing, that have a rape trope or have one lead essentially force himself onto the other. And in almost all the cases so far, the two leads end up falling for each other. There is a lot of normalisation of this behaviour by romanticising it. And it isn't just one country. So far I have seen it in Korean, Chinese, Taiwanese and Thai BLs.

Worst is seeing some viewers justify these sort of scenes in dramas.

It almost feels like these writers know they are brainwashing their audience to think of violence as love. As if women don't already face violence and abuse. And at the same time it is minimizing what male victims of rape go through.

I'll put certain scenes that I'm talking about in spoilers. Trigger warning - avoid reading these unless you have to.

1. Guy molests a gay guy asking him if he's a girl because he dislikes the interest he's been showing to him. The good thing is he apologizes for his actions at least.

2. Guy is interested in his straight friend. He gropes his friends crotch. Pretends he's teaching his friend to get a girlfriend and forcefully kisses him. When he sees his friend is feeling awkward and avoiding him, he gaslights him by saying he thought this is what friends normally do.

3. Guy has fallen for his classmate who also happens to be his step-brother (their parents got married). He kidnaps him, ties him and and forcefully kisses him multiple times even though his classmate is not interested in him.

4. ML1 forcefully penetrates ML2 before he is ready. The show then makes a joke out of it when ML2 is in pain the next day.

5. ML1 and ML2 like each other however ML1 wants ML2 to never leave him so he manipulates him throughout the show. One day ML1 subdues and rapes ML2 without ML2 knowing it is ML1. ML1 shows no remorse. Same show M3 rapes ML4 when he is unable to resist.

6. ML1 is drunk at a party. He sees ML2 sleeping in a bedroom and proceeds to rape him. ML2 doesn't know who assaulted him. Later (maybe months or a year later) ML1 approaches him and kisses him (without consent) in a club. He tries to date ML2. Almost everyone in the show thinks ML2 should hear ML1's explanations as to what happened.

7. ML1 has started liking ML2. But when he sees another guy kissing him, he beats that person up and later kisses ML2 in anger. Good thing is they did NOT romanticize this scene and showed ML2 appropriately getting angry.

8. Two men are interested in the same man but they agree not to date him. They just decide to torture him mentally by pretending to date each other. Both of them at different times decide to force themselves onto this man instead when they see him moving on. Good thing is he does not end up with these two.  And this behaviour is not normalised so this is the exception.

I'm sure fans will figure out which shows these are. I wasn't seeking out these tropes. I watched them blindly or on-going or through recommendation. I'm sure there are green flags in BLs too. I just haven't seen these many red flags in straight romance dramas in a while as I have seen in BLs in such a short span of time.

Hopefully there are others that don't think I'm crazy for finding this pattern repeating weird.

Yes, you guessed the correct drama. And that is why I called it an exception because they treated the bad behaviour as negative which is how it should be depicted. That's why I almost didn't want to mention it. But used it as an example instead of how inappropriate behaviour should be represented.

As such I'm not against depicting negative characters or instances of rape, torture, etc in any kind of drama. That is the reality of life as you said. I am just surprised when they push these as romantic.

In some short length cdramas, there is a lot of forced kisses by the ML with the FL. And she is nearly always depicted as a prisoner of some sort. That itself is uncomfortable. When I was watching some of the BLs (not the ones with rape) , I kept thinking how horrible this would be if it was a man and woman so why are they normalizing it with a guy on guy?

They also make it seem like nothing that the man having sex for the first time is in pain. Could have used it as a way to educate. Apparently it is funny/cute this way (it's not).

I might give Kieta Hatsukoi a try since I haven't seen many Japanese BLs but I think Japanese make some interesting dramas in general and they aren't extremely long either making it easier to binge.