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Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao’s Story and Romance

HeadInTheClouds
 MountainPine:
I will say that the adaptation is like a meme with pencil drawing of horse.

By this, I'm thinking you mean the drama captured the vague outline of the story, but didn't capture its essence?


 MountainPine:
I would put Yang Zi's acting a little lower than him. But she had the hardest time. Because her character was deprived of any consistency and completely changed the meaning. In the scene where she marries Jing and in the final scene where they walk side by side and she carries a doll - I literally see on her face the expression "I don't know what I'm playing, and what I'm supposed to be playing at all, sorry."

I'm in the minority, but I have a problem with Yang Zi's acting, and I find that it contributed to the overall problem of the drama for me. The script is the major culprit with the way it downplayed and up-played the two balancing relationships. However, I don't think Yang Zi understood the character of Xiao Yao and how much her abandonment fear drove her choices. This further tilted the balance, resulting in the core of the story being warped. I find Xiao Yao in the novel to be more palatable and sympathetic compared to the one in the drama. I don't like drama Xiao Yao at all. I also much preferred the novel's Xiang Liu to the drama's Xiang Liu ;).

What about you? What didn't you like about the drama adaptation?


 MountainPine:
But in general, this novel is like a house of cards. It's enough to pull out one card - and everything will be destroyed.

 

 MountainPine:
this novel is like a certain balance of "yin and yang" (such a Chinese way). And the only thing the author should have protected was this balance.

Exactly. It's a delicate balancing act, and it comes from the character of XY through the XL-XY-TSJ triangle. If you don't maintain this balance, the essence of the story will be lost.

 

 MountainPine:
The novel is a litmus test. Depending on who you root for - it immediately says who you are, and what your general vision of life is.  

Absolutely. Your vision of life, your worldview, your values, how you love and want to be loved. It's such a stark juxtaposition because Xiang Liu and Jing were created to be contrasting characters. If someone likes Xiang Liu, then chances are, they won't like Jing. 

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HeadInTheClouds

I'm slowly making my way through my responses.

 MountainPine:
My only option is rather ordinary: that, in his soul, of course, he wanted to hear a confession, as every lover wants.

That's one of the interpretations. The other one is that it was the last chance that he was giving their relationship. How she responded determined what he would do. For me, their month-long stay in Qing Shui town following the marriage robbery was his last attempt to wait for her to make up her mind and decide which direction she wants to move towards. However, like always, she was passive, and he was forced to ask her those questions. Her lack of an answer to the final one was all the answer he needed. 


 MountainPine:
And on his bitter way of hiding his love, he slipped and fell a few times (poor guy😭), and that is normal. As in the German proverb "You can't hide love and cough."

But why was he hiding his love?

And I love learning these proverbs :-). German is an interesting language; well, all languages are interesting. I find the way certain languages capture specific emotional states fascinating. 


 MountainPine:
But my favorite line about love, heard in a sermon is: the only love that is true is the love that you can control. Xiang Liu was the only one in this story who realized and fully accepted his love, acted like a person who loves, and, most importantly, who could control his love. All the other relationships of all the other characters are something sick and sometimes even disgusting.

Control here means you are able to control yourself and how you love, right?

I like it. It's being able to love without falling victim/slave to the emotion. It required a great deal of maturity. The rest of the relationships in this story came from a place of obsession and fear; it's not romantic or healthy at all. 


 MountainPine:
I didn't notice any signs in the novel that would hint that there is hope for Xiao Yao's recovery. I'm very, very curious what exactly you noticed!

One way to look at it is that it took losing Xiang Liu to force Xiao Yao to realise what she had lost because of her fear. For the majority of the novel, Xiao Yao has been wavering back and forth - Jing represents the "safe choice" due to the confines of her fears, whereas Xiang Liu represents the growth and freedom from facing and working through her fears.  Xiang Liu worked hard to help her grow, but sometimes it takes realising what not changing is costing you for you to make the change. 

While this is not a certainty, I think Xiao Yao in the novel has the potential to recover. Drama's Xiao Yao is a lost cause :-).


 MountainPine:
In fact, he has some special  "talent" for presenting things in a relationship as being solely his merit and feat for her, as an exceptional and great service, and not just the normal state of things. 🤢

You noticed that too. Like with the Purple Fish Jewel. If you look at it carefully, what did he actually do for her that wasn't tied to obtaining his own interest in being with her?

 Did you also notice how he used the people besides him as mouthpieces to verbalise his sacrifices, how difficult things were for him, and to test the water with her? 


 MountainPine:
They successfully make each other even more weaker and sicker. 🤕🤕

Co-dependency. Their sickness is a match for each other. 


 MountainPine:
"Now I really regret that my life is connected with a stupid and weak woman like you. I beg you, before you die of stupidity..." We're used to seeing these words solely as Xiang Liu's attempt to make her hate him, but just try to look at it with a fresh eye and a new perspective - it's all the harsh but honest truth about her!..

I haven't finished the drama, but was this also in the drama? He probably did it to sever their tie, but there was a kernel of truth in there. She was stupid and weak on certain matters. 

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HeadInTheClouds
 MountainPine:

I wish there was a certified psychologist among the fans who could create something like a personality and character map of Xiao Yao. Something like a database (which would still look like a labyrinth, haha). Because she is a very interesting person with all her chaos and contradictions. A very lively character. Almost like Xiang Liu. In contradiction, he is very "whole", orderly, reasonable, rational, and has rare high character traits. It would seem that in this case the character would look unreal. But he is the most lively character of all that I have seen.

The more time passes since the first reading, the more my impression changes. And the more times I read, the deeper I delve into this  forest of meanings. And forest is getting  darker... It's a kind of puzzle from which you can put together too many different pictures...

I'll attempt to tackle this once I have the time in the next fortnight.

But, how about you start things off? What was your initial impression? What has changed? What caused your change in thinking?

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blabla100

My only option is rather ordinary: that, in his soul, of course, he wanted to hear a confession, as every lover wants.

...

That's one of the interpretations. The other one is that it was the last chance that he was giving their relationship. How she responded determined what he would do. For me, their month-long stay in Qing Shui town following the marriage robbery was his last attempt to wait for her to make up her mind and decide which direction she wants to move towards. However, like always, she was passive, and he was forced to ask her those questions. Her lack of an answer to the final one was all the answer he needed.

I have a third interpretation to this scene, lol. Taking into account the events that happened prior to him asking the 4 questions - Bei congratulating XY on her engagement and asking her twice to go inside the house despite her obvious reluctance, XY's humiliation at the wedding, XL's confirmation that he received the crystal ball 2 months prior, XL encouraging XY since day 1 of their month spent în QS's Town to go outside, XL killing Bei and his reminder to XY that their relationship was nothing more than a deal, his insistence in closing that window while XY tried hard to open it, I find it hard to believe that what XL wanted, at that point în time, was a confession or that it was a last attempt from him to give a chance to their relationship.

 Honestly, I believe that what he wanted to hear was exactly the opposite.

XL knew what XY meant with the Crystal ball. The Crystal ball was sent as XY's last attempt. Yellow emperor already told her that XL rejected all their offers to change sides, so she sent him the Crystal ball as to tell him that she îs willing to give up everything if that's what it takes.
 XL knew about her sleepless nights, knew what XY wanted to hear when she told him the name of their bugs, knew why she waited for him for 7 days în front of the dragon bone prison, knew for whom he is being persuaded yet again to change sides and for sure knew the significance of the Crystal ball, so why did he ask the forth question?

For a confession? Makes little sense, since for one he already knew who's în XY's heart,  so what's the purpose to double check

 and second, these questions were asked while XY was under influence, so what difference would an admission make for XL, since it would have been a confession made while not being sober / conscious. A confession made while unconcious or against one's will  it's a far cry from taking commitment, so to believe that XL wanted to hear her say his name în order to give another chance to their relationship doesn't sound right to me. 

The way I view it, the last question was asked because he hoped that, after all the signals he sent her that he has no intention to be with her, she will firmly choose shiqi and that she had given up her hopes to be with him already. He hoped that her heart's desire would have been finally overpowered by her will and therefore to regain the smarts to make the right decision for herself. 

XY knew XL rejected  her pursuit, but she neither left or talked to him for the whole month, rather she kept waiting as she waited în those 7 days în front of the dragon bone prison. His reminder that their relationship was always just a deal was the last straw that broke the camel's back.  Her reluctance to answer his 4th question was precisely because of that, IMO. How can she say she wants to spent her life with XL, when XL rejected her and made it clear that their relationship is only a transaction?  She kept insisting in having that window open, while XL kept closing it. She opened her mouth to answer, but how can she admit of keep wanting someone that didn't chose her and clearly rejected her? That's too much for someone as reactive as XY, therefore her struggle and headache. 

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blabla100

Old Sang Tian er advice would have applied to her and Xiang Liu, but instead, she chose to rescue Jing

I don't believe XY thought at Jing or at anyone în particular when having the discussion with TianEr, it was actually XL who directed the topic to Jing, so IMO that shows what his intention when telling XY to go outside was since the beginning.
He wanted to determine her to go back as well as to let her see that that's the life she should pursue, growing old with grandchildren next to her instead of indulging herself into a doomed romance that has no future. 

She was never actually growing the seeds or putting any real effort into making her relationship to Jing work (lol, she didn't even mention to him that his fiancee tried to kill CX) and XL knew that, because he knew she was busy investing most of her time and hopes into him, instead of Jing. 

Sorry about the quotes, guys, I am posting from my phone. 

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blabla100

"Xiang Liu covered her with a blanket and Xiao Yao suddenly opened her eyes “Why?”

Xiang Liu stared at Xiao Yao and didn’t know exactly what she was asking why about. Was it why he forced her to become a runaway bride? Or was it why he used his powers to probe the true feelings inside her heart?

Xiao Yao gave up asking and closed her eyes to murmur “I’m so hurting……Xiang Liu, I hurt………”


Regarding which why XY was asking, I believe none of the two, but rather

Xiaoyao was silent for a while, and suddenly asked, "Xiangliu, why did you choose Gonggong? Is it just because he is your adoptive father? Xiaotian didn't know why he had the courage to ask this question,"

What she actually asked him wasn't "why do you have to be my brother's enemy", but rather "why can't you choose a different path then that of a general who's best ending is to die on the battlefield?"

 Her struggle when facing XL's 4th question, the problem she refused to think about, the "why" she kept asking XL about. Why can't I keep you, why can't you choose a path that will allow you to live? Why Gonggong and not me?

"You’ll forget what just happened and after a good night’s sleep it’ll all be fine!”

Xiao Yao fell asleep but there was a sardonic smile on her lips as if mocking “Even after a good sleep it won’t all be fine!”

Because it's not only his rejection that pains her, the fact that she's not his choice, but also because of what his choice is. A path doomed to end on the battlefield. 

Xiaoyao buried her head in her knees, silent. She felt a blockage in her heart, but she couldn't tell whether it was for Xiangliu or for herself. "

 What are you thinking about?"

  "As the daughter of Chiyou, the world is so big, but there is nowhere to go."

   Xiangliu lifted Xiaoyao's head: "If it really doesn't work, just set sail. The sky is high and the sea is vast. "

She told him that as the daughter of Chiyou, even though the world îs big, there is nowhere to go, but what she was thinking about was actually "home îs where your heart îs. With you gone, where's  my home? ". Her statement came right after XL explained her why he can't choose another path.

 She felt a blockage în her heart, wasn't sure if it was for XL or for herself, so obviously she was thinking of them, not at Chiyou, however when XL asked her what îs she thinking about, she tells him her real thoughts, the world being big, but having no place to feel at home, but using Chiyou as the excuse. Not because she was în denial, but because she respected XL's choice. 


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MountainPine
 HeadInTheClouds:
And she did lure Tu Shan Hou, so maybe she wasn't so naive after all. I don't know anymore :-)

I feel the same! All her phrases to Xiang Liu seem both naive and very double-meaning. I can't even imagine myself saying something like that to other men 🫣

 

 HeadInTheClouds:
Here, we call it " the artist of the burnt-out theater". 🤪

I googled, but couldn't find the meaning of this one. 
A burnt-out theater is not one that burned down, but one that went bankrupt due to the inept acting. That is, an actor in a burnt-out theater is a bad actor.🤪😄


 HeadInTheClouds:
She put up the barrier first, so she will need to show a lot more determination and certainty rather than waiting for him to reassure her. He's not Jing, and he isn't going to try to win her over that way. And he was right, since she won't even face her heart, even when under the influence of his power.  

I agree with this and I also want to add that his situation as an  general of doomed army in no way gave him the opportunity to be the first to declare his feelings. She should have taken that into account.  


 HeadInTheClouds:
Lol. I think you're more annoyed with Xiao Yao than I am. And I'm probably one of the most critical of Xiao Yao here. 
When I started reading the book for the second time, I set out to look at everything with a fresh eye and try to like Xiao Yao and her relationship with Jing. But everything only gets worse - I find more and more negative traits in her character.😬👌



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MountainPine
 HeadInTheClouds:
By this, I'm thinking you mean the drama captured the vague outline of the story, but didn't capture its essence?

Yes, and also the fact that some things are absolutely perfect (Xiang Liu), so they do not allow us to simply ignore the series. But the core is of course destroyed. And because of that, it turns into "a suitcase without a handle - it is difficult to carry and it is a pity to throw it away".  


 HeadInTheClouds:
I'm in the minority, but I have a problem with Yang Zi's acting, and I find that it contributed to the overall problem of the drama for me. The script is the major culprit with the way it downplayed and up-played the two balancing relationships. However, I don't think Yang Zi understood the character of Xiao Yao and how much her abandonment fear drove her choices. This further tilted the balance, resulting in the core of the story being warped. I find Xiao Yao in the novel to be more palatable and sympathetic compared to the one in the drama. I don't like drama Xiao Yao at all. I also much preferred the novel's Xiang Liu to the drama's Xiang Liu ;).
Everything you wrote is relevant. I just watch with a different mindset. I love when an actor does their own unexpected fresh version of a character I've read (for example, BBC's Sherlock). I understand and also noticed the differences between Xiao Yao and Xiang Liu in the book and in the TV series. But the general shortcomings of Yang Zi's acting here coincided with the shortcomings of Xiao Yao's character for me, so for me the puzzle worked out successfully. I can't get into Yang Zi's acting. I can't empathize with her. She's closed to my mind and my heart. And I can say the same about Xiao Yao's character. Her mind is closed to me. And I can't open my heart to understand her. So, in a bad way, but there's a perfect match, huh. 😬


 HeadInTheClouds:
it was the last chance that he was giving their relationship. How she responded determined what he would do. For me, their month-long stay in Qing Shui town following the marriage robbery was his last attempt to wait for her to make up her mind and decide which direction she wants to move towards. However, like always, she was passive, and he was forced to ask her those questions. Her lack of an answer to the final one was all the answer he needed. 
I love your interpretation and it adds another layer of vision to my mind, sad one, of course. I thought he had finally decided everything for himself by that moment, but now I don't know...


 HeadInTheClouds:
But why was he hiding his love?

There are probably many reasons I can name several, but I will only name one - is that his love for her was a true love, that kind of REALLY TRUE love, which happens very rarely even in a fictional world, and almost never in real life. He always thought about her happiness and never about his own. He probably wasn't sure how strong her love for him was. Probably because of that he decided to choose an easier, safer and more certain path for her. With Jing.🫠



 


 HeadInTheClouds:
Control here means you are able to control yourself and how you love, right?
Yes. And to remove yourself and your love from your loved one's life if it would be better for them that way. Jing  with all his shit and problems (pregnant fiancee and his status, and most important one - him knowing she loves Xiang Liu) was not capable of this - and this is the first and most important sign that his love was not true love, but obsession.

 HeadInTheClouds:
For the majority of the novel, Xiao Yao has been wavering back and forth - Jing represents the "safe choice" due to the confines of her fears, whereas Xiang Liu represents the growth and freedom from facing and working through her fears.  Xiang Liu worked hard to help her grow, but sometimes it takes realising what not changing is costing you for you to make the change. 
But since Xiang Liu is no longer in the world - why should she embark on the path of healing from her mental problems? What will she gain in the end even if she heals? In the process, she must to realize everything that Xiang Liu has done for her. And that everything she has in life,  ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING - she has it thanks to him. To him, whose heart she shot an arrow through. Will she be able to bear both burdens - healing and realizing? It seems that no. It will be easier for her to remain in self-deception. And in the mist that Jing constantly immerses her mind in (how interesting, it is described several times during the story how he spreads mist around himself. This is not only a literal mist, but also a mist for the mind and soul).

And being in the mist is the only way for her to be at least somewhat happy. Many times before in this discussion it was written that Xiao Yao should live her life happily. That it is the only right and rational way and it makes Xiang Liu's sacrifice not in vain. All this is absolutely correct. But. Can it be just taken and done? What does "should" mean? It does not depend on our desire. It is the same as saying: " If you are depressed - just stop being depressed. If you want to forgive someone (but cannot) - just forgive". Haha🫠




 HeadInTheClouds:
I haven't finished the drama, but was this also in the drama?

Sadly, I don't remember, I am intended to continue rewatching the drama with my husband (he roots for Jing...arrrrrrrr!!!! and I am going to FIX that!😏)
But why haven't you finished the drama? Yes, it is total trainwreck,  but Xiang Liu's dying scene - one of the most beautifully played and filmed things I have ever seen.


 HeadInTheClouds:
I'll attempt to tackle this once I have the time in the next fortnight.

Wow!!!!🙏💖


 HeadInTheClouds:
But, how about you start things off? What was your initial impression? What has changed? What caused your change in thinking?
At first it seemed like just a traditional beautiful tragic tragedy. But the more I think about it - this whole book seems like some kind of continuous substitution of concepts. The whole moral of the story - over time it begins to seem to me that it is fake... The author wraps all this in a traditional beautiful shiny wrapper. But when you open the wrapper in search of a chocolate candy... What do we as readers get in the end? Two ill people lead each other. They do not go "into the sunset", they go into the unknown. They will live their lives not at their own expense, but at the expense of some very beautiful soul. And now dead one. They do not realize it and they do not care at all. And the author behaves like it's ok too, totally normal. Fake feelings will never become real. The heroine will never heal. And she does not want to. And does she actually need it at all?
To conclude, there should be one Russian joke here. But it's a bit disgusting🫣, so I didn't dare write it. I'll write something softer. All this reminds me of Andersen's fairy tale about the naked king. But in the finale, there is no boy who shouts the truth.


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HeadInTheClouds
 MountainPine:
A burnt-out theater is not one that burned down, but one that went bankrupt due to the inept acting. That is, an actor in a burnt-out theater is a bad actor.🤪😄

Haha. That's an indirect, clever insult. Like when you read Jane Austin, and they dissed people oh so politely :-).


 MountainPine:
I agree with this and I also want to add that his situation as an  general of doomed army in no way gave him the opportunity to be the first to declare his feelings. She should have taken that into account.

Were they doomed right from the start? There are numerous instances where the conclusion was used to infer characters' actions and intentions from earlier parts of the novel. Because we know that Xiang Liu and the resistance army perished at the end, there were assumptions that he never intended for them to be together, etc.  But it's their choices as the story unfolds that should lead to the conclusion.

The most popular line of thought is that Xiang Liu was the one who didn't give Xiao Yao a choice, and their relationship a chance. Xiao Yao was essentially the helpless victim in all of her relationships. Never mind that Xiao Yao is an incredibly passive character who sat on her ass waiting for other people to declare and prove themselves to her liking. And if they didn't, she withdraws. Then her trauma card gets pulled out for a round of excuses and "poor Xiao Yao". Well, duh! If you don't deal with your problems and start to actively take intentional, assertive actions, you will end up being the "victim" of circumstances. What else do you expect? Such an unappealing way of writing characters and the story. 


 MountainPine:
When I started reading the book for the second time, I set out to look at everything with a fresh eye and try to like Xiao Yao and her relationship with Jing. But everything only gets worse - I find more and more negative traits in her character.😬👌

I wouldn't recommend it. I think this book works fine if you read it as a romance novel, which was what it was supposed to be. But if you try to give it more meaning than that, and actually examine these characters carefully, it's not a pretty picture. This, I think, was a case of writing backwards - an ending was decided and then the rest of the book was written to force the chosen ending. The result is that the characters are fragmented with barely any growth or change because that was what was needed to serve the outcome. 

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HeadInTheClouds
 MountainPine:
Yes, and also the fact that some things are absolutely perfect (Xiang Liu), so they do not allow us to simply ignore the series. But the core is of course destroyed. And because of that, it turns into "a suitcase without a handle - it is difficult to carry and it is a pity to throw it away".  

At least for me, this also applied to the novel. There are many things that I do not like about this story, but I'm still hanging around because I liked Xiang Liu. I should say that I liked my Xiang Liu, the one that I got from the novel all those years ago.  I should probably be thankful that the author didn't write much on him, 'cause I'm afraid if she had, he might have ended up the same mess as the remaining characters.  If I had watched this drama first, I probably would have dropped it somewhere during the first season :-).


 MountainPine:
Everything you wrote is relevant. I just watch with a different mindset. I love when an actor does their own unexpected fresh version of a character I've read (for example, BBC's Sherlock).

A fresh interpretation or a different take on a character could be interesting. Kind of like comic books. Same characters, but in the hands of different writers and artists, you get something different.  It's a way to deconstruct characters, subverting traditional interpretations and showing the pleasant or unpleasant realities. 

For it to be a fresh take, it needs to be intentionally done. Do you think that was the case here? I err more on the side that it wasn't, and more a case of the actor not quite understanding the character and portraying  Xiao Yao as some strong, righteous heroine and playing up the 1:1 pairing as a part of it. This comes from some of the things that the actor said, and comparing the script to what we actually got on screen. Of course, the director's failure to correct didn't help the matter. 

Speaking of a fresh take. Have you seen the new Wuthering Heights trailer? Now that is definitely an intentional fresh take :-).


 MountainPine:
I love your interpretation and it adds another layer of vision to my mind, sad one, of course. I thought he had finally decided everything for himself by that moment, but now I don't know...

At which point he stopped hoping is a matter of interpretation. I don't even think it's all that important, just as to whether he intended for them to be together forever or for a short period of time. Since Xiao Yao never firmly, decisively chose him so we don't know what he would have done if they were actually together. I don't see the crystal ball as a firm commitment from her - it's the limit of what she could do, but given the situation, it wasn't enough. All this endless hinting, fishing and signalling and expecting him to guess as to what she wants and what she means??? He crossed the ocean once already to ask her about their relationship. She was the one who said, "You're not suitable...it would be worse than death", so now she can be the one to cross the ocean and open her mouth and give him a different answer.

 

 MountainPine:
He always thought about her happiness and never about his own. He probably wasn't sure how strong her love for him was. Probably because of that he decided to choose an easier, safer and more certain path for her. With Jing.🫠

Out of Jing, Cang Xuan and Xiang Liu, Xiang Liu was probably the only one who put Xiao Yao's wants and needs at the forefront (and above his own) when it comes to the things that he did. Both Jing and Cang Xuan cared more about being able to keep her by their side, even when their behaviour caused her pain. Just look at Jing and his, "I know I'm not good enough for you, but I can't let you go".  Whereas XL loves her, but he doesn't place restrictions on her choices - he doesn't influence or interfere with them, unless she initiates it (with the marriage to FL).  XL knew that she loved him; he also knew that she couldn't let go of her fixation on finding someone who would always put her first i.e. Jing. He didn't choose Jing for her; she chose Jing because he met her needs.  

In the novel, during his conversation with A Bi, Xiang Liu said that the person who is always on Xiao Yao's mind was Jing. Unlike in the drama where he said that the person Xiao Yao loves (I think), the term in the novel denotes fixation - something that you constantly remind yourself of, usually to do/to follow, like a person who constantly reminds themself that they need to think positively. Xiao Yao constantly reminded herself to pick Jing because he won't abandon her, and clearly Xiang Liu realised this and ensured that Jing was an option for her. 

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MountainPine
 blabla100:
Again, my interpretation is different. I do not believe she tried to deny that forehead kiss, let's just say that similar to the way she acted when she first met Bei after their 37 years underwater, she deliberately pretended not to have happened not as means to lie to herself, but because she knew that XL didn't want the kiss to be acknowledged by neither of them or to get her entangled again.  
If Xiang Liu didn't want his feelings to be acknowledged, he shouldn't have kissed her, asked her the 4th question, asked if she would like to leave behind everything and travel with him, and so on. They are both inconsistent.
And if he asked her that question to make sure she hated him enough, that doesn't make much sense on his part either. He was going to die anyway. If she answered the last question and it turned out she loved him, what would he do then? What was his plan "B"? Huh.


 blabla100:
Depending of what has been said before, it could been seen as a leading question, as you said, but I can also interpret it as" could you have been so stupid as to take Bei for real and actually opened your heart to him? If he was genuinely curious or if he was mocking her I am not so sure.
Probably both options (typical Xiang Liu). But even if it was exclusively the mockery option that you described, she could still act unexpectedly and shock him with a confession. "You're mocking me. Fine. Let it be. I'll answer you in a way that you probably don't expect. 

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MountainPine
 blabla100:
She thought she can get rid of her feelings by running away, but she was already in too deep. At the palace, while being surrounded by her family and Jing, her mind was still at XL, nothing was exciting enough. She kept making poisons for him, kept checking her mirror, was irritated at ah nian for not being able to be as fun as XL etc.
When I was reading, I didn't understand at all why she was going to run away. I really like your explanation.


 blabla100:
I believe that she was even under the impression that XL has no feelings whatsoever for her, therefore kissing Jing wouldn't have been a big deal for XL, if at all.
This version might explain many things about her behavior.



 
 blabla100:
Bottom line, to me the question is had XY known for sure that XL always loved her, would she have made the same choice? IMO no, otherwise I see no point for XL to slowly erase himself completely from her life and leave her thinking that everything between them was just part of a deal. He knew she would have choose him if giving  the opportunity.
You might be right ( I totally wish you were right!). But let me express the opposite and somewhat weird vision. I don't know if I can clearly express what I think, but still. It seems to me that the situation with her choice is deeper, in fact, and lies in the mentality. And that she would not have chosen him even if there were no all these serious obstacles between them.

Here is a "fanfiction" from me. Imagine that everything happens in reality, in our time.

Xiao Yao, Xiang Liu and Jing are reborn. Xiao Yao's parents are rich and powerful. Xiang Liu's family is poor. Jing's family is very rich. Both Jing and Xiang Liu propose to Xiao Yao. But Xiang Liu has no opportunity to pay the bride price. Question: what will be the ending of this story? Only realistic answers.
It's just... In real life, I don't think Xiang Liu with his life values and principles fits the Chinese idea of an ideal husband. (And this might be why he lost to Jing in that Chinese online pools). And true love and a perfect match of personalities don't really matter here.  This is why Xiao Yao's mother asked her why she choose Jing (reasons, conditions, conditional love) and not if she loves him. (I apologize, I  have no intention to offend any nation, just expressing my weird thoughts).

 blabla100:
XL didn't want her to go through the loss of her lover too.

It's so complicated, really. Do you stop loving someone or love someone less when you find out they don't love you back? No. These things are not dependent on each other.

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MountainPine
 blabla100:
I find it hard to believe that what XL wanted, at that point în time, was a confession or that it was a last attempt from him to give a chance to their relationship.

 Honestly, I believe that what he wanted to hear was exactly the opposite.
Ahhh, I simultaneously disagree with your version and agree with it!
This, and the discussions on this forum in general, remind me of a Jewish joke:

Two merchants came to the rabbi asking him to settle their dispute. The rabbi listened to the first and said, “You're right.”
Then the second spoke up and presented his arguments. The rabbi listened and said, “You're also right.”
“Listen, how can they both be right if their arguments are opposite?” his wife shouted from the kitchen.
“And you're right too,” the rabbi replied. 🫠



 blabla100:
his insistence in closing that window while XY tried hard to open it, I find it hard to believe that what XL wanted, at that point în time, was a confession or that it was a last attempt from him to give a chance to their relationship.
I really like your explanation with closing and opening the window! I often have cognitive dissonance when I read this forum because I feel an incredible pleasure when someone explains things this way, and at the same time sadness because I'm too stupid to notice it myself. 🫠




 blabla100:
XL knew what XY meant with the Crystal ball. The Crystal ball was sent as XY's last attempt.
The problem with the crystal ball is that it was still ambiguous and left Xiang Liu room for doubt, for making choice and for retreat. "If you want - realize that I love you. If you don't want - just take it as a gift to remember the beautiful moments with the mermaids that we watched. You can put the ball on the shelf and remember it when the opportunity arises." That's not what the confession of love should be. It should be unambiguous. Otherwise, it is in a way disrespectful to the person you love.
 blabla100:
She was never actually growing the seeds or putting any real effort into making her relationship to Jing work (lol, she didn't even mention to him that his fiancee tried to kill CX) and XL knew that, because he knew she was busy investing most of her time and hopes into him, instead of Jing. 
I like this. 
As for the character of Tian Er in general. The phrase that fake feelings will eventually become real - why does it even exist? Even real feelings often don't stand the test of time and everyday life. Not to mention the fake ones...

 blabla100:
Sorry about the quotes, guys, I am posting from my phone. 
That is my constant technical problem as well. And this is why I answer 2 weeks later. 😬
 blabla100:
What she actually asked him wasn't "why do you have to be my brother's enemy", but rather "why can't you choose a different path then that of a general who's best ending is to die on the battlefield?"

 Her struggle when facing XL's 4th question, the problem she refused to think about, the "why" she kept asking XL about. Why can't I keep you, why can't you choose a path that will allow you to live? Why Gonggong and not me?

I believe she really asked what you described. But her question seems absurd to me. The problem here is the sequence. First, Xiang Liu met and chose his adoptive father and comrades, because he had no one else. With them, he gained "a family" and a sense of belonging. Then, much later, he met her. In the series, Fang Feng Bei tells her when they first meet that the world is too big because he met her so late (TOO LATE). Choosing her to the point of abandoning everything and everyone and "walking into the sunset" with her - it would mean betraying his comrades. And as a soldier's wife, I can't accept that. Xiang Liu would stop being himself in that case. At the beginning of the novel, she asks Xiang Liu the same question. And  Xiang Liu hurts her. And she totally deserves it for asking such offensive questions.

edited Quote
Kokuto
 MountainPine:
It's just... In real life, I don't think Xiang Liu with his life values and principles fits the Chinese idea of an ideal husband. (And this might be why he lost to Jing in that Chinese online pools).

I don't think XL lost to Jing on online Chinese polls.  Sometimes, Jing wins on International polls.

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Kokuto
 MountainPine:
I really like your explanation with closing and opening the window!

But remember, that scene didn't happen in the drama like that.  In the drama, they left the window open all the time AND they had the string that connected them.

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