I know when people read or hear "dark romance" they immediately think of stories like fifty shades or haunting adeline. But that's not what I mean by dark romance. 

I like my heroes to be gentlemen and I need them to never cross certain lines. But boy do I wish we could have a drama where we have a hero who is morally ambiguous but would never harm a hair on the heroine's head. Klaus and Damon come to mind (from the originals and TVD.) The kind of men that will go to any extent to protect the ones they love. For me that's a dark hero. We sometimes come pretty close to getting such heroes but its like kdrama creators are afraid of going that way. Like byeon woo seok's character in strong girl nam soon. The makers could have easily gone that route but they didn't. Then there's Lee soo hyuk's character in the show born again and tomorrow. Notice how these are not simply pookie characters putting up a hard front. These are genuinely morally ambigous characters. If someone has read the trilogy the forbidden games by L.J Smith, they'd understand what I mean. Or the cruel Prince series by Holly black. 

This is the kind if vibe im looking for. I tried watching the flower of evil but I haven't been able to get into it just yet for reasons that I cant state without spoiling the plot. 

If anyone can recommend something like that I'd be grateful. I prefer non smutty no spice dramas. I can watch Jdramas, kdramas and Cdramas. But will absolutely not watch thai dramas as they are not to my taste as well as Taiwanese dramas. 

Popular dramas that some may recommend that I have already seen are:

The maid's revenge (cdrama) I dropped it eventually 

Mercy for none (looooooved it)

Bad guys (perfection)

Voice seasons 1 to 3 (this series is a beauty)

The tale of the nine taled fox (s1 was meh, s2 was good)

The devil judge

The island (i will never stop ranting about what amazon prime did to this drama. It's deserves a sequel, why would it end like this? Especially since we know its based on a manhwa and the story has so much more to explore)

I guess I'm looking for "villain gets the girl vibes". 

The kdramas missing you had the potential to go that route but didn't. Head over heels while being amazing could have also done something that I once read in a series (nevermore by Kelly creagh) but its fine that they didn't.

If someone has recs please share them. Looking forward to your feedback!

I'll recommend some dramas that sort of fit what you're looking for. I'll explain how they do and don't fit beneath the spoiler mark. There will be spoilers though, so don't read if you don't want to be spoiled.

Love Between Fairy and Devil - The ml has plans to murder basically an entire group of people. He never harms the fl. At first because he physically can't, and later because he's in love with her. He does however change towards the end. It's one of those dramas where the love for the fl makes him a better person.

Love of the Divine Tree - The ml is raised to be evil, but the fl puts a stop to it and tries to change him into a better person. He does become better, because he wants the fl to be happy. But he still falls into his old ways sometimes. Again, not entirely villainous, but in the ball-park.

Moon Lovers Scarlet Heart Ryeo - Ml doesn't want to be evil, but circumstances shape him into a deeply wounded person. He's not as evil as other characters in the drama believe him to be, but he's not a goody-two-shoes either.

That Winter the Wind Blows - A very different drama from the others on this list. The ml isn't exactly evil. But he does try to swindle the fl out of money by pretending to be her brother. So ... there's that.

The King's Woman - Probably the darkest morally gray can get. The ml is a bad person. He doesn't pretend to be a good person. But he loves the fl, so he's basically willing to do whatever to get her. I would say this is the best example of a villain who gets the fl, because he is genuinely a villain. The only thing that diverges from what you want is the ending. I'll add it in a different spoiler, because it is a huuuge spoiler. So really, don't look if you don't want to be spoiled. The ml kills the fl in the end. He does so because he thought she was going to kill him. But she didn't. And so he ended up killing the one person he loved the most. It's a beautifully tragic ending.

Well Intended Love - A lot more light-hearted than the others on this list. The ml is mainly bad because he lies to the fl that she's dying in order to force her into marrying him. So, yeah. Not a great person. It is written off as romantic though. 

Have you seen The Smile Has Left Your Eyes - the ML is truly a bad and damaged person and he does hurt people close to the FL such as  her best friend, her older brother/guardian, but once he falls in love he is 100% loyal to the FL and would do anything to protect her

It's a good point you make about "dark" romance, I'm the same way -- I love a morally grey villain love interest but I need them to draw the line at disrespecting/hurting women, especially the FL, in order to really enjoy the villain romance

Some others with a villainous or murderous ML who would never hurt the FL...

Dong Lan Xue
My Lady General
Word of Honor - if you're up for (censored "bromance") BL

Returning here to add another classic that just came to mind: 

I Hear Your Voice the ML would absolutely kill for the FL, both to protect her and to get justice for her in fact its a big plot point that  he attempts to kill someone for her and very nearly succeeds