craziest "how I met your mother" stories

~SPOILERS~

"yeah, so your dad pretended to be my ex-lover, his younger brother, so he could uncover the truth behind his murder, but as it turns out I had amnesia and was being hypnotized into believing I was his brother's lover when actually I was his brother's lover's friend and the brother lover died because of my psycho biological mother, which was then covered up so my not-biological mother could pretend her was son was alive through me but younger bro discovered the truth and was murdered for it. also this somewhat unrelated serial killer was chasing us our entire courtship. normal stuff."

"yeah so I was trying to scam him out of his fortune but then I fell in love, but also his dumbass cousin fell in love with a different scammer and nearly thwarted my plans, but it's fine it all worked out both your dad and your uncle are happily married to ex-scammers."

"so, we were originally going to be step-brothers and that forced us to live close proximity where we fell in love. then when our parents found out we were gay, they lost their minds and split up, meaning we were no longer fated to be step-brothers, just stuck with hopelessly homophobic parents that eventually sort of come around. 90% of this love story is recapped from the book because the second season got dropped. yes, I'm breaking the fourth wall here. don't worry about it."

"so I tried to scam your father into giving me this camera he bought for his ex. unfortunately, my hetero-normative mind assumed his ex would be a girl so I had a friend pretend to be his ex-girlfriend and it failed massively. fortunately, your dad was gay as hell and fell in love me at first sight so he immediately forgave me, and we flirted over zoom calls during quarantine."

"your dad is a sentient robot made by my rich and powerful uncle, and its not weird at all"

"both your dad and I accidentally traveled to a parallel universe where the only way to return home was to find your soulmate. and it literally took me two years to realize he was my soulmate. in all fairness, he refused to tell me his real name for the entire duration of those two years. unrelated, maybe, but I just wanted to point that out."

"I kept having visions of death that would happen to your father, so naturally I had to save him and he fell for my absolute charm and sincerity"