What you said is partly correct: in wealthy and elite households, women could read and write, but the content was very limited—poetry, Buddhist sutras, and books on female virtue. Private tutors came to the residence, and punishment sometimes took the form of copying virtue books or sutras. I accept these points. But several historical facts need correction:
1. This "limited education" was itself the exception, not the general rule even among the elite. What we know from Song dynasty epitaphs shows that some shi-da-fu class women were familiar with Buddhist texts, Confucian classics, histories, poetry, and even astronomy and medicine. But these examples come from epitaphs written only for the elite of the elite. Daughters of mid-level landlords or wealthy merchants did not necessarily receive such instruction.
2. "Punishment by copying virtue books or sutras" itself shows the purpose of education was discipline, not cultivation. Ban Zhao states at the outset of Precepts for Women that the goal of educating girls is "humility and service to others," not intellectual growth. Sima Guang likewise says girls must read the Classic of Filial Piety, the Analects, the Odes, and the Rites, but that "fine embroidery and poetry and music are not proper for girls." What is permitted and what is forbidden is itself a control mechanism. Making a girl copy virtue books as punishment is not "educational discipline"—it is "ideological correction."
3. The proverb "A woman's virtue lies in her lack of talent" appeared late, but its emergence is itself telling. This proverb became widespread in the late Ming and early Qing—precisely when the number of women writing poetry and corresponding with literary men had increased. "Lack of talent as virtue" was articulated as a reaction to suppress this trend. This is not "failure to encourage"—it is "deliberate suppression."
4. The fundamental difference is in the nature of education, not merely its extent. The goal of men's education was to pass the civil service examinations and enter public affairs; the goal of women's education, in the words of Qing scholar Lu Shiyi, was "managing the household, handling property, and relieving husbands of their burdens." One was to go out and master the world; the other was to stay home and serve the family. This is not a difference in "level of education"—it is a difference in "nature of education."
5. The core point: who decides what is "useful" and what is "useless"? You said women were "not limited in learning," only "not encouraged to read politics and such because it had no use." That is precisely the problem: the power to decide what is useful and what is not was never in women's hands. This is systemic inequality, not "over-protection" by the family. Over-protection explains why a woman could not go out alone; it does not explain why she could not decide what to read, whom to associate with, or how to build her life.
The picture you have of elite women's education in China sounds more like a drama trope than history—because the historical record says otherwise
Women were systematically excluded from institutional education. There were no formal schools for girls, and women could not take civil service examinations. Female education was home-based and aimed at producing “virtuous wives and good mothers” who would serve husbands and manage households.
Female literacy was extremely low. Scholarly estimates place female literacy in late Qing China at only 2–10%, compared to 30–45% for men. In 1874, missionaries in Kiukiang could not find a single woman who could read despite diligent inquiry.
“Female virtue lies in lack of talent” became mainstream. The proverb “女子无才便是德” spread widely from the late Ming onward. The dominant view held that literary education endangered women’s moral character.
Even elite women’s education was purposefully limited. As Lin Yutang noted, scholar families did teach daughters to read and write, but this was “more definitely humanistic” and focused on literature, poetry, and history. The purpose was practical: managing the household and aiding husbands. As one Qing scholar put it, girls should learn to read characters but not understand the meaning of texts—literacy was for household management, not intellectual cultivation.
The drama takes an exceptional figure and presents her as representative. Historically, women like Ban Zhao or Li Qingzhao were celebrated precisely because they were extraordinarily rare.
K-Drama 
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1. This "limited education" was itself the exception, not the general rule even among the elite.
What we know from Song dynasty epitaphs shows that some shi-da-fu class women were familiar with Buddhist texts, Confucian classics, histories, poetry, and even astronomy and medicine. But these examples come from epitaphs written only for the elite of the elite. Daughters of mid-level landlords or wealthy merchants did not necessarily receive such instruction.
2. "Punishment by copying virtue books or sutras" itself shows the purpose of education was discipline, not cultivation.
Ban Zhao states at the outset of Precepts for Women that the goal of educating girls is "humility and service to others," not intellectual growth. Sima Guang likewise says girls must read the Classic of Filial Piety, the Analects, the Odes, and the Rites, but that "fine embroidery and poetry and music are not proper for girls." What is permitted and what is forbidden is itself a control mechanism. Making a girl copy virtue books as punishment is not "educational discipline"—it is "ideological correction."
3. The proverb "A woman's virtue lies in her lack of talent" appeared late, but its emergence is itself telling.
This proverb became widespread in the late Ming and early Qing—precisely when the number of women writing poetry and corresponding with literary men had increased. "Lack of talent as virtue" was articulated as a reaction to suppress this trend. This is not "failure to encourage"—it is "deliberate suppression."
4. The fundamental difference is in the nature of education, not merely its extent.
The goal of men's education was to pass the civil service examinations and enter public affairs; the goal of women's education, in the words of Qing scholar Lu Shiyi, was "managing the household, handling property, and relieving husbands of their burdens." One was to go out and master the world; the other was to stay home and serve the family. This is not a difference in "level of education"—it is a difference in "nature of education."
5. The core point: who decides what is "useful" and what is "useless"?
You said women were "not limited in learning," only "not encouraged to read politics and such because it had no use." That is precisely the problem: the power to decide what is useful and what is not was never in women's hands. This is systemic inequality, not "over-protection" by the family. Over-protection explains why a woman could not go out alone; it does not explain why she could not decide what to read, whom to associate with, or how to build her life.
Women were systematically excluded from institutional education. There were no formal schools for girls, and women could not take civil service examinations. Female education was home-based and aimed at producing “virtuous wives and good mothers” who would serve husbands and manage households.
Female literacy was extremely low. Scholarly estimates place female literacy in late Qing China at only 2–10%, compared to 30–45% for men. In 1874, missionaries in Kiukiang could not find a single woman who could read despite diligent inquiry.
“Female virtue lies in lack of talent” became mainstream. The proverb “女子无才便是德” spread widely from the late Ming onward. The dominant view held that literary education endangered women’s moral character.
Even elite women’s education was purposefully limited. As Lin Yutang noted, scholar families did teach daughters to read and write, but this was “more definitely humanistic” and focused on literature, poetry, and history. The purpose was practical: managing the household and aiding husbands. As one Qing scholar put it, girls should learn to read characters but not understand the meaning of texts—literacy was for household management, not intellectual cultivation.
The drama takes an exceptional figure and presents her as representative. Historically, women like Ban Zhao or Li Qingzhao were celebrated precisely because they were extraordinarily rare.
It was 8.7