erik

hahsjsjj respectfully? you should know i'm giggling reading your reply because it's kinda cute how you're like politely venting your anger while making sure i understand that you're a Very Political Person 😌✋🤏. for some reason i was getting this vibe beforehand ?? hahsjjh thank you, btw. i would say...... mmmmMMMm. i guess we (We, who enjoy 'fucked up'/unconventional media/ships/storylines) can't really help ourselves but overexplain ourselves a little bit once in a while. let's not talk danyok for a moment. let's talk "toxicity" loll. people nowasdays can't seem to read anything beyond "toxic"/healthy miscommunication/good communication and IT PAINS ME hahsjsj. i was talking to my bff, the other day. and i was getting to explain to her why i people saying "utsukushii kare" was simply "toxic" is annoying to me but we kinda got into an argument because she's older than me, have known people who had experiences of toxic relationships sooo, long story short, wouldn't watch the show AND would probably think hira & kiyoi's dynamic was "toxic" too.

"I understand the people who do not like this ship. It's just that I don't understand the seething hate people have in them when they see someone shipping a certain ship." --- you say, and really it's because human beings are unhinged beings 😀 sometimes we can't help ourselves but taking things a little too personal, i think. it sucks, but alas ... it just goes to show that "there is no outside-text" (deleuze? i think ahah). i wouldn't say i'm not faulty of feeling like that (salty, at least) sometimes. i take pride in being able to separate fiction from reality Just Fine but maybe i'm not as, like, unshakable as i'd like to be. i mean... there's no point on either being too rigid on oneself nor unshakable, right? Me Thinks hahsjsj that's why i'm glad i'm probably living under a rock, yes. i love distancing myself from fandoms because i've been in the trenches and ... it just not worth it. plus !! i've almost been an activist back in my uni days, but i go by james baldwin's "saying":: some people weren't built for this [active fighting] [fandom included] hshsj some people were made to be writers hehe

harvest festival season?? i love It sounds busy and witchyyy hehe. enjoy it, meu bem 🤏🫀 and i hope you can get some rest in between activities !!

omg, earth fandom, where do i even start?? HAJSHJS fandom life can be so fun and toxic at the same time, it's crazyyyy. engaging with it from a safe distance is really the solulu to get away the fandom delulu etc. also rsrs im too old to get into fights with no media literacy people and TRUST ME !! they can get under my skin just enough to have me awake at night lowkey plotting and thinking of comebacks sometimes hahsjsjj. this wont do !! and that reminds me::: thank you for the heads up on twt dicourses and fights and spoilers on 2ha ✋😭 i wasn't planning on going back to twt anytime soon because all these things stresses me out sm aaaaah buuut! must importantly! due to elon m*sk & brazilian governors recent bickering, twt has been banned from brazil bahahhahahaha. soooo, it's safe to say i'm safe and sound for now (even against my will JAHAJ).

about yuwu and bab::: i read "angst" and "age gap" and immediately started growling at the moon!! i really can't imagine something heavier than 2ha, soooo hshsjs i'm definitely INTRIGUED by BAB annnd if in terms of angst-filled characters, you say YUWU is the mother of 2ha, then hello??? i'm SOLD. thank you, love::: i'll sure be looking it up after i finish reading 2ha... i feel like i need to get to know Meatbun, like, uninterruptedly

KAJSKSHSKSJKSHSJSJSJSJ omg so its really danyok !!!!! ✋😭😆 you are so brave for finally coming out of danyok closet after all you've been through --- and i'm laughing so hard rn with this whole "COPAGANDA" talk omg KSHSJSHJS i'm sorry aaaaah

soooo!!! DANYOK, huh?? precisely the only ship i didn't like in the show jshshsh and i'm honestly shocked rn because guess what? i don't fuck with cops (except when it comes to fiction, but it gotta be a good storyline (to me)), but i didn't know people were vocal about that on the show/ship!!!! hahsj 😬🤐 that's why i said i didn't like the ship for "personal reasons" rs. apparently i have never had an original thought in my life. i swear i live under a rock......

ANYWAY i'll get back to you on this danyok topic, give me a sec 🏳️💚 (lemme just finish replying back the other messages)

i swear i have no idea what ship from 'not me' you're talking about because lowkey i kinda ship everyone in the show KAHSJSH. i DO dislike this one ship, though ajshsjjs, but they don't bother me to an extent i'd hate on them at all✋. actually, i dislike them but for "personal" reasons, so to speak (well duh, of course it's for personal reasons lol but i say that cause i haven't seen anyone sharing the same opinions as mine on this ship). i just don't know if that's the same ship you love & everyone seem to hate on that were talking about
........... please enlighten me ?? 👀

annnd speaking of [most hated] ships (you're literally fighting in the shipping trenches rn, aren't you?? 😭)::

your favourite ship from 'the untamed' ......... i'm trying so hard to think of whom they might be (i see you trying not to compromise; good for you, is wild out here 😭). could it be ... xuexiao?? JAHJSJSJSJ is either xuexiao or xiyao, right??

i can't wrap my head around "XiCheng", though LMAO not even ironically -- and this is coming from me, a shipper through and through 🫡. i pair ships that's problematic even by the standars of ship lunatics positive internet circles (e.g, chengxian bahahhaah 🤗. all jokes aside, this is my ultimate ghost ship from this drama i think). xicheng, tho..... why?? just... WHY??? JAHJSHSJ i just don't see it, not even for funsies. but then again, i couldn't go as far as hating on them or something (as a matter of fact, most ships don't even bother me 🤔 I THINK)

ooooh !! 👀 Me Likes this a lot! and that poster is posteringgg

como um rato
queria ser linda

!!!! filme tão bom que deixou o meu coração dolorido aaaah 😭. vai um pouco além de uma história "feel-good", embora evoque mesmo (pra mim, pelo menos, que já fiz parte bandas na infância ahshaj) um sentimento nostálgico. têm tantas falas simultaneamente bobas e marcantes neste filme...; muito silêncio bobo e marcante também. eu amei. é o tipo de narrativa que relembra que é até divertido ser fracassada/pathetic loser e sonhar e viver 🤏🎀

foi lindo demaissss, ami !! meu coração ficou doendo, num bom sentido 😭 eu já estava esperando por um final agridoce assim, mas ainda assim foi surpreendente a sua própria maneira. e muito emocionante 🥺. o take do kuy-chan, em frente ao mar, deu uma vibe de "o retrato de uma jovem em chamas" -- até o desfecho dele com o daisaku (esse fim separados levemente, num futuro distante, esperançoso) me lembrou do filme tbm

soo not sue precisa dar um papel principal a choi ji won, pelo amor de deus !!! não aguento mais ver ela tendo crushes não correspondidos nos gls aaaaa. fora isso: esse drama foi simples e uma delicinha 😭🤏

gOD, the bittersweetness;;; open ending excellency at its finest! i love it 🤏. gotta praise tsubota fumi for giving homoerotic subtext where homoerotic subtext is due. also!! i'm not getting over the visuals on this drama anytime soon; they definitely did something different here - i loved the colouring, the framing techniques, the overall directing choices was everything. the only thing i didn't like was hijikata admittedly rushed, like, last minute arc (?) they decided to give us for some reason. his last line....... was that an attempt to a redemption arc or something??? 🤨🤨🧐 either way that was a bit weak and totally jshsjs out of character but anyway. i'll miss Them 🥺

aaaaaaaAaAaaaah

also !!! jesus christ! time difference!
...... i kinda hate it ngl 😫 how come it was only 4pm where i live but like, almost midnight where you live?? i hate it i hate it !! time is but an illusion but it effectively gets on old man yaoi enthusiasts way !

where do i even start??? WHERE DO I EVEN START?? melo, i've been praying for times like this and for people like you!!! you just undiagnosed me frfr 😫🤧 i was THIS CLOSE to ask you "am i insane for feeling like i'm going insane over 2ha?". and you, oh so generously, made me feel heard and seen and reassured and even more excited to continue on loving - i mean! reading - these motherfucking books. i can't thank you enough for that, and i mean it 🥀🌹 i literally screenshooted your reply kshdjsh

OOOOH i love that you relate to mo ran this much as well!! now i'm very curious about what to expect for him for the next chapters omg (and sooo curious about you too!). also! rsrs sorry i'm late to the party 😭::: i'll definitely listen to whatever you wish to say about mo ran as soon as i'm finished with the books, i promise ✋🫀- which, admittedly, might take a little while, since i'm a slow reader. apparently 😮‍💨. and !! THAT leads me to my next topic: i haven't read yuwu and bab just yet, no 😫. why??? would you recommend me reading these books .. or nah? 👀

UGH!!!! i love how your soul was literally sold to 2ha and you're quite aware of it 😭 HOW BEAUTIFUL!!! it so reminds of mary oliver's poems hajsj (everything reminds me of her), but that one in particular where she says something something about being "made anew by the details of your devotion". you said that 2ha was your whole personality and you meant it! 😫 i love it sm! can't wait for it to be me next year hahahsh and the fact that these books "pushed" you to the realization that you are in fact a badass writer (i can tell your writing holds the power to put someone on existential crisis hahsj), so now you're writing fics for them!! god!! i know we only go as far as writing fics for piece of media that has managed to change our inner ecosystem, even if just a litte bit (i can testify to that), so... HOW BEAUTIFUL 2x!!! now i lowkey wanna read your fics but NO PRESSURE 😬..........

annnd ! you're a english literature major!!! of course you are...! 🎀🩷 i was going for this major before switching up to psychology major (before dropping out of college ✋). but i'm happy to know i'm not the only one to have this love & hate messy complex relationship with this dreadful language aaaah 🤏

"i feel like Kido-san can pass as a normal person if we put him next to the other two" HAHAJSHSJ i hope you can hear me giggling wherever you are across the globe rn 🤭😋 annd you're right!!!

tbh i've never understood why people seem to find kido-san weird/off-putting? he was only fighting his bisexual demons, like ?? what's so weird/unusual about that??? people on mdl comments section never ceases to amaze me in the worst way possible; they're really tasteless.... well THAT'S THEIR LOSS, IDC....... also! i think people have a problem with storylines that refuses to give us, like, tidy, mmm, cookie cutter queer characters/narratives? they're used to a couple, to a love triangle, to a cheating plot; they're getting used to throuples -- those are relationship dynamics people can "understand", so to speak. but kido-san... he's that one character we can't really put our fingers on, right? even after watching the whole franchise, his relationship with kijima rio is...... undeniably something else. maybe that's why people didn't like him from the get-go? 🤔 idk! if that's the case, it just goes to show once again these people are tasteless, beyond redemption etc

OMG SO YOU'RE FANFIC WRITER AND AN EDITOR TOO!!! *bowing my head out of genuine awe*. i've only attemped to edit once in my life and it was the guys from 'not me' (🌹) to some brazilian funk ahhshsj it stressed me out sm annnnd it didn't even get to see the light of day -- so i wholeheartedly admire you 🤧

and !! what you said about the power that a fandom holds to affect your opinions on a piece of media you actually love?? you're LITERALLY me!!! like. i hope you know we're the same person! it keeps happening to me and it sucks but it's oh so trueee. 'the untamed' fandom? i swear to god they're on a mission to make me dislike the show a tiny little bit every new day!! it sucksss ✋

NOOO, YOU DON'T GET IT (you literally get it, since you're speaking my very words unsaid)::: it's a honour to meet YOU!!! 😭😭😭🤏💝 high school drama enjoyers will never get to know the pain, the angst (i.e pleasure) and the following bliss of enjoying old man yaoi - smh ((can you tell i'm so happy rn hshshsj))

oooh 🥴 i still need to watch 'the secret of us' so i feel like this is really not my place to say anything but you're not the first one i see saying that about orm....... it seems like she needs to take new acting classes asap

AAAAA OMG!!! SO I'M FINALLY TALKING ABOUT 2HA WITH SOMEONE WHO GET IT !! sooo.... how can i put this? i'm loving it to an extent it has already sucessfully given me a major moral/ethical/existencial/identity crisis 😭😭😭😫 i'm not even joking: i had to take a break from reading it and went straight to my older sibling (they're a scorpio lol) to vent a little bit ahhsjs. i kinda knew what to expect from the book, right, like, beforehand. and i was so ready for it! (this is my type of thing, you know? danmei/wuxia of course, but specially bdsm (in general), and like hardcore emotional smut etc. i can't with too much fluff stuff (since i don't see it as queer nor romantic enough)) -- but!! i was halfway through the books only to find out i needed a minute to think about it 😫. i think it's because... well. there's probably too many reasons why 2ha has been stirring up my emotions (in a fucking-me-up-senseless sort of way). i relate to chu wanning so much... like, on a cellular level. i adore him (which is probably self love at this point); i don't remember the last time i saw myself in a character sm. so at some point of reading through mo ran's DETAILED bullshits, i started questioning my whole life✋😭. like: was i suppose to be reading this?? should i be enjoying reading this crazy ass book and WHAT DOES IT TELL about me? lmaooo. my older sibling was like, my savior. they were so sweet and patient with me hahshs they were like: no, its okay, we're all a bit freaky, remember?! etc. but yeah 😀 Meatbun....... she matches my freakquency in a way i can only describe as ... uncanny. i'm literally doing shadow work while reading 2ha? wtf? also! ALSO! her writing? omg. GORGEOUS. it's like reading novels written by a poets, you know what i mean? i love love love what she did there. she's insaneeeee. and a genius! can't believe one minute she's writing these beautiful, touching paragraphs, then next thing you know: boom: she delivers these dorky metatheatrical dialogues ahsjsh. and don't even get me started on how much i love her erotica writing 🥴🤌. ANYWAY. i'm sorry for the wall of text omg 😫 but HOW DO YOU LIKE 2HA???? how did it shaped you? how does it feel to walk around knowing damn well you have the coolest personality out there? etc etc (i told you eng is not my first language and i'm trying so hard not to go full portuglish mode with you rn hsjsjs so please excuse my grammatical ?errors)

the minute i saw "mood indigo" on your list i immediately started barking growling crying shaking throwing up 😭 i could rant about this series/show for ages -- i love it sm!! out of the whole franchise, it gotta be my favorite ('the novelist: playback' coming in a close second). and to think that some people really had the guts to skip this precious show only because they find kido-san weird, like??? ofcourse he's weird, all them characters are weirdos, they're supposed to be freaks 😫 ... anyway (can't believe people are living their lives missing out on sensei's "are you a dog??" line. had to be there. major slay). gOD i could write an entire theses on this franchise - i just won't do it cause my portuglish (english, really) sucks. but i would def write a theses on this franchise in portuguese !!