The Way We Are (2008)

Charming slice of life

If you are having a bad day and need something soothing with almost zero conflict and the nice being nice to the nice, The Way We Are is the perfect answer to what ails you. Ann Hui created a gentle and touching slice of life centered around a hard-working widow raising her teenage son.

Cheung Kwai works as a durian slicer and stocker at the local grocery store. Her son Ka On enjoys manga and while not ambitious has a good heart on him. The two live in a rundown apartment, yet are content in their circumstances. A new elderly neighbor asks Kwai about a job in the store. Kwai takes Granny Leung Foon under her wing helping her whenever she can. The two women develop an easy-going bond. Whether a funeral, a hospitalized relative, or celebration, Kwai’s family gathers and supports each other. Kwai had worked to put her brothers through school and they now look for opportunities to show her kindness.

Pau Hei Ching’s Kwai was the focal point of the film with the other characters acting as satellites circling around her magnetic pull. Pau gave Kwai a quiet confidence and soft-spoken demeanor. Nothing rattled her as she faced whatever came her way with strength and aplomb. Pau went largely without makeup, had mussed up hair, and wore old t-shirts, yet had a beautiful dignity. Chan Lai Wan exuded the tragic loneliness of an older woman who had lost the most important people in her life. At the HKFA, Pau won for Best Actress, Chan Lai Wan for Supporting Actress and Ann Hui for Best Director—all well deserved.

This film will not be for everyone as nothing exciting happened. Hui showcased the quiet joys of tissues being given with the daily newspaper, freshly cut fruit, and helping a person without asking for anything in return. Filled with compassionate, kind acts, The Way We Are was exactly what I needed in this time when civility and generosity have often become too rare.

13 September 2025

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