Was It Love? (2020)

Acting Alone Is Nonexistent ❣ It's Not Love, Anyway °6.7° °good, bad, & bitter°

No man is an island ❣
Entire of itself ❣
Every man is a piece of the continent ❣
A part of the main ❣….❣ Any man's death diminishes me ❣
Because I am involved in mankind ❣
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls ❣
It tolls for thee.
~John Donne~

Is that love? Yes, it is.

‘I wanted to carry the burden alone,’ many characters in WIL say. Is that love? If you choose to act alone, you are choosing to be alone. Before you act alone, remember that you don't act alone: No man is an island. Everything we do has an impact on others, and every one of us is a role model, whether for good or less-than. "By the time I realized I'd pushed you away, it was too late," is another line we hear. Again, was acting alone, love?

‘Why would you drop out of college with just one semester to go?’ Long pause. This rom-dram, with some smiles mixed in, opens up to our FL, “Noh” Ae Jung (Song Ji Hyo from My Wife’s Having an Affair This Week & The Witch's Diner). She's in a job interview at a movie studio. Her voice is a rich Alto. Finally, she blurts out that she had to drop out to have a child. Her daughter's now older, so she's ready to pursue her dream of being a movie producer. She was hired immediately. Wow, that was easy! When the owner of the studio disappears, she learns that he tricked her into cosigning for his debt! The debt collector is a really scary looking dude. She needs to make money fast or risk losing limbs.

Noh frantically rifles through the studio in search of anything that can generate quick cash. She comes across a contract to adapt ‘Love Is Non-existent' to film. It's the fledgling novel by a now enormously famous author. Jackpot. She arranges a meeting and is pleasantly surprised when the reclusive writer agrees to it. When she arrives at the pre-arranged location, she understands why: She's met this author before. He's never posted pictures of himself publicly, and he writes under a pen name, but this wordsmith, Oh “Dae” Oh (Son Ho Jun from Go Back Couple & The First Responders-7.8) is her ex. Right here. Right now. Right in front of her disbelieving eyes. They had been very close, but was it love? I'll tell you what it is now: It's hate. No matter how much money is involved, this is a man she won't work with. Lo, and behold! HE says the same thing about her! He'll never agree to work with /her/ on /anything/.

Noh has the script’s rights, and she's desperate, so she's thinking about forcing through with the project. In the meantime, Dae looks for comfort and support. He reaches out to the couple's closest college friend, “Ryu” Jin (Song Jong Ho of Arthdal Chronicles & A Korean Odyssey-7.2). Ryu, a now famous actor, has his own agenda, however. As the project goes forward, things will get quite messy with the 3 of them.

Not as messy as it is with Dae and his daughter, Hani, though. Once again, we see a superb Korean child actor. She's been longing for him her whole life. He didn't know she existed. Dae’s first interaction with the kid is darling. It's loaded. There's tension, they spat, they look alike, they act a little bit alike, yet she also acts like her mom. Hani may seem inconsistent. She's looking for her father, but when she finds him, she's reluctant to accept him. She's lived 14 years without a father, she tells him, so she doesn't need one. It's understandable that she would be self-protective and cautious before opening up her heart to this man whom she's just met, but the toxicity is frustrating. Is that love? Not yet.

Kim Mi-kyung is the every-other-mother. She's in every other feature as the mom, it seems. Somebody should let that woman out of the kitchen. In Saimdang-8.5 she plays a sophisticated Gallery owner, and she does it well. Even though she's always playing a mom, that doesn't mean that she's the same in every feature.

When things get a little more serious, the actors shine. They get to show off their skills. That is part of what hurts. I'm behind in writing reviews. Sometimes, the way I see a show changes over time. My first impression isn't always the lasting one. The more I recall WIL, the less I like it. The more I look back on it, the more bitter it is. WIL is a difficult pill. What it does well, it does really well; but the negatives are what stays with the viewer. There are things in this show that I didn't merely dislike, but actively loathed.

First of all, some characters don't come around quickly enough. It's frustrating.

Secondly, Noh committed so many no-nos! They will show the couple's falling out. Dae became obsessed with the many things pressuring him between school and career, He turned dismissive, unappreciative, and inattentive towards Noh. He was horrible. He was wrong. She, in turn, separated herself and never told him he was a father. Not when she started showing. Not as the due-date neared. Not after the birth. Not at the first birthday, or the second. Count to 14. Fine, to that. I don't agree, but she was really angry at that jerk. But we'll also learn that /Hani/ was tortured at school over not having a father. They had to frequently move due to the intolerance from outsiders. Hani had trouble making and keeping friends. Hani longed for her father. Noh sacrificed her daughter to her anger. Her feelings were more important than her daughter! Was that love? HAIL NAW! This isn't up for debate: Noh was wrong.

That's a worthy message rolled into WIL. “Stop before you end up doing something you regret, like I did. Some things just weren't meant to be,” we hear. No one is guilt-free in this show. Everybody thinks they're running in a straight line. We're all going after our prize. However, none of us are capable of running in a straight line. Society is a web, a tangle, and endless knots. In WIL, most of the characters make decisions on their own without a care to verify the facts. Is that love? More often than not, when we think we're acting alone, we're lying to ourselves. We're not running a straight path, we're always weaving and intruding into other lanes. We choose to ignore that and keep the focus on us, what we want, & our own pain. Instead of the wide world around us and loved ones closest to us, it's our bitterness, hate, and anger that drives most people. Nowhere is this more true than with parenting. "It was my choice to have her, but it wasn't hers to live this way," Noh sobs (yeah, it was). She's in the middle of her mother and her daughter. Mom is saying that she'll take on all Noh's burdens because that's what a mother does for a child. Noh slowly takes in the fact that, ultimately, burdens must be borne - nobody can /walk/ our path for us. It's much easier with support, if we can get it. Regardless, the toll must be paid. She realizes how the whole situation has put a very heavy burden on her daughter, while she had blinders on. She refused to see it. Was that love?

Parenting is the main theme of WIL. The teacher's mother wants to protect her son, and therefore, tries to take over his life. Is that love? Ironically, she got the exact opposite of what she wanted. She distanced herself from her son. If she had just been natural with him they would have been close. ‘I'm a single parent, so I'm your mom and your dad,’ is Noh's attitude. That's asking the kid to enter a pact of lies. No matter what a parent says, kids know when they have another parent out there, somewhere. I have people close to me with a parent who claimed s/he would be two parents. The kids knew it wasn't true; all they felt was betrayal from the parent that wasn't there, and they underappreciated, with a little resentment mixed in, the parent that was there. Because nobody can fill two roles. We should merely fulfill our responsibilities to our utmost ability and love. Kids always want a mom and a dad, but no one can be two people, we can each only be one. Tell them you'll do everything you can to make up for the lack. Tell them that you're in this together. It's important that they know that things don't always work out the way we like in life. It's usually a bad idea to lie to kids. Most of our lies are for ourselves, not others, anyway. (Even many white lies are about making us feel more comfortable, not about looking out for the other person, who might improve if s/he heard the truth in kindness. Is that love?) Most of all, we lie to ourselves first. You can get through anything with your kids by cherishing them and always keeping communication open and flowing. Claiming "I'm your mom and your dad," as opposed to saying I will do everything I can to make up for what you haven't been given in life,” are not the same thing. As one character in WIL says: 'it's not enough to fill the void in her heart."

Thirdly, he ends up wanting to scrap his book, change his pen name and start over to write the true story. He claims the 1st one was a lie. It wasn't a lie, it was the truth as he knew it. I think a better idea would be to write the sequel from her perspective. He can't scrap the book anyway, it's already out there.

Finally, the dreaded, no good, very bad MSS - Mandatory Separation Syndrome. It's a tired-out plot device in which, once a couple commits, they are separated for an extended chunk of time. I can't believe that after 14 years of separation they still did a 2-year MSS. Just pretend it didn't happen. Yeah, sure, he had to go do what he had to go do, and she needed to do what she had to do, but no contact? I can't stand it. How could they bear to be separated, and how could he leave his daughter for another 2 years? Is that love? Nope. This is utter nonsense in any culture.

There are many worthy elements. The childrens’ relationship mirrors the adults. It's charming. “Why do bad things always come all at once?,” Noh wonders. Apparently suitors come all at once, as well. It ain't a Kdrama without a ❣⛰. First blood: They each got a paper cut early on in the show; they are linked. The cool camera work during some of the kisses makes the viewer feel how dizzy it must have been for them. They aren't going for all-out laughs, but there's plenty of amusing moments and characters in the show. Director Kim Do Hyung does a nice job. The Issues don't stem from the technical side. The directing is solid. The acting is tremendous. It's just enough to string the viewer along for the big letdown. The weakness in WIL is with the writing, more than anything else. While It isn't without merits, we are left with an emptiness that hurts. I'm not in love with it.


QUOTES🗣️

There's something more dangerous and hurtful than a knife, a gun, or an ax. It's the words that come out of your mouth.

Loving someone when you can't protect them leaves us vulnerable, because love makes us vulnerable.

I don't know how many knots there are, but let's start on tying them one by one.

Love has no revenge. There are only lingering feelings that feel like revenge.

I wanted to stay by your side and protect you, but I was just being selfish. It wasn't love.


〰🖍 IMHO

🎬6 📝5 🎭7.7 💓5.5 🦋6.5 🌞3 🎨7⚡3 🎵/🔊6 😅3 😭5 🤢2 🤔5 💤2 🔚4


Screenwriter: Lee Seung Jin (Cinderella and the Four Knights-5.6)

Age 14+ starting 25 minutes in, we have a string of R-rated language, Including a couple f💣s. It's scattered through the series here and there. There's blood and death around level 2.5/10


Re-📺? Sorta wish I skipped the 1st viewing.

After So Long, It's YOU:

My First First Love-8,
Romance is a bonus book-7.9,
Oh My Ghost 10,
It's Okay Not To Be Okay 9,
Sisyphus 8
Hospital Playlist 9 (give it 3 episodes to get warmed up),
Itaewon Class-8.9,
Familiar Wife-8.5,
More Than Friends-8,
Awaken-8.7,
The King's Affection 8.3,
Something in the Rain-8.6,
C🇨🇳:
A Little Thing Called First Love-8.5,
Hidden Love-7.8

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Well that was a bit disappointing. I was really excited for this title after watching the first episode, but the elements that were promising in the show did not live up to my expectations. First of all, the female lead was frustrating and very unlikable, so much so that I couldn't get around the fact that there were 4 potential love interests for her. They tried to paint the female lead as a superwoman, but she ended up consistently needing help, but still said she didn't need it after she received help from someone. The mother-daughter bond was not as heartwarming as I had expected, and I instead found it just a tad bit stiff. The whole misunderstanding was an understandable plot point, but grew to be extremely frustrating and I didn't even understand the reasoning for why Dae Oh left in the last episode. What makes you coming back after two years where you were missing any better? The ending was the most frustrating part of all, since they never even end up making the movie and Dae Oh never ends up directing. The show doesn't play up the dreams of producing and directing aspect enough and for the majority of the time you even forget that the point of the show is them trying to make a movie. Overall, I don't regret watching the show, but I did end up being disappointed by the execution.

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Very good until the end

I agree with a lot of other people's comments about the frustration felt throughout this series. I definitely found it addictive because I kept waiting for things to get better and for reconciliation. that did not happen. I would have given this series a 10 review, but the last 2 episodes really disappointed me. had the series ended differently, this could have been a great series.

the acting by the main male lead was phenomenal, within the confines of the writing of the show. I have to say that overall the acting was great, and it was the writing of the show that was disappointing.

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A beautiful series but dwindled towards the end

When I started watching the series, all six episodes were already available on Netflix. The moment I finished watching an episode, I already knew I wanted to watch the entire show. So every Wednesday and Thursday night I would wait for the latest episode. It was unbearable at first because the drama gave me several emotions – heartache, hope, wonder and nostalgia.

The first six episodes got me. I felt everything the story wanted me to feel; not to mention, I related well to the characters especially with Noh Ae-jung (Song ji-hyo). Well, only the part about the sacrifices and her dreams. But pretty sure some numerous viewers relate to her and the other characters well.

But I was able to endure the long wait every two episodes because I was happy with every single episode especially the flashbacks. Also, I’m glad all the actors in the show participated in this drama. I couldn’t imagine someone else in their places.

Sadly, towards the end, I was not having the same satisfaction. Episodes 15 and 16 were the lowest episodes for me. If you watched the series, you might have remembered that there was a cancellation of episode 15 release. JTBC did not air the said episode due to typhoon Bavi so fans of the series waited a bit longer.

Since we were down with the last two episodes, I decided to watch them when they’re both out. The day came and I finally did. As per my thoughts on the early episodes, I lost all those feelings towards the last two episodes.

I thought there would be a sense of clarity and satisfaction. I did get the former but the latter was a slight disappointment. I felt that a person who underwent such tragic misunderstanding, yes I use tragic, should get the best conclusion. Noh Ae-jung and Oh Dae-oh/Cheon Eok-man deserved so much better like the rest of the main and supporting characters did.

Don’t get me wrong. I did appreciate the ending specifically how our beloved Noh Ae-jung finally fulfilled her dream and continuous to do so. Also, I know they did end up together but the added two years apart was an agony.

In the previous episode where they fixed Ryu Jin’s problem, the way they did that to protect Noh Ha-nee and also Ryu Jin was so well-planned and executed. But when the problem with Oh Dae-oh or should I say, his other persona Cheon Eok-man the author resurfaced, it was different.

I guess it’s because he knows well and is already a part of Noh Ae-jung and Noh Ha-nee life that he wanted to protect the love of his life and daughter. It makes sense, to be honest. But the hyped feelings the series gave us since episode 12 dwindled in the last two episodes.

I guess that just made me a bit sad about how the beautiful series ended. I can re-watch the early episodes but not the whole series.


P.S The music here is really good especially Dreams by Lee Ba Da. It’s the perfect music to describe Noh Ae-jung’s journey.

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Don’t get carried away by the bad reviews.

Unlike most reviews I’ve read in this site, I actually enjoyed watching the drama. It had its flaws, for sure, but I don’t think it deserves the hate it received.

What I love about this show is how realistic it can get when it comes to a love that ends due to simple misunderstandings. It shows you how pride and anger can get in the way of a lasting relationship.

I also feel like it was a brilliant way to show ex lovers meeting years later. It shows us the effect of maturity on how people start to view their relationships.

The love “quadrangle” wasn’t even toxic. They don’t leave you guessing for too long on who’s the father, because even in the early episodes, one candidate’s true identity is already revealed. It doesn’t take on the annoying damsel in distress with many guys fighting for her plot, if that’s what’s stopping you from watching it.

I also loved how the fatherless child played a central role in finding her true father. She was such a joy to watch.

Again, it’s not a perfect show. But I truly believe it doesn’t deserve the hate it’s getting.

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Not even trying

It seems impossible for writers to do a decent reverse harem drama without relying on awful tropes and this drama was no exception. Well, at least I didn't have any expectations going into it so that definitely helped. The entire story was built around a single misunderstanding which is nothing but lazy writing, instead of building a proper story. Out of the four men, Yun Woo was the worst addition, he always felt out of place and doesn't contribute much. None of the pairings were appealing, not even the non-romantic ones. The drama was so dry and empty that they didn't know what to do for the last episode so made up something just for the last episode. The cast members may be decent individually elsewhere but not here. This drama was as bad as "Three Dads One Mom (2008)" and "To All The Guys Who Loved Me (2020)", they even share the same flaws!

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I kept waiting for it to redeem itself and it just continued to get worse

I watched this drama while it was airing and it was like watching a train wreck in slow motion

Story: Just no. Just say no. The writing is honestly trash. I don't know how to explain it any better. First of all, a love pentagon (or freaking net who even knows) is kind of lame in the first place, but it was not well executed either. Way too many story lines. How the female lead attracted all these men is beyond me because she honestly seemed like such a b***h. Even the romance aspect was all hecked up. A total downhill. They should have left the last few episodes for the daughter and the father to get to know each other but instead they added a mafia aspect and also celebrity news intrigue? A messss. Not a satisfying ending either.

Acting/Cast: Son Ho Jun is honestly the highlight of this drama. If you're his fan, it's worth the watch. The child actors were also greatttt. Otherwise, just, they felt very stiff, idk.

Music: A big positives for me were the OSTs. My favorite is Dreams by Lee Ba Do.

Rewatch: lol no way in heck

TLDR; the writing is trash, watch clips of Son Ho Jo and the kids instead on youtube

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So Underwhelming

I knew this wasn't going to be great but this was even worse than I thought it would be in so many ways it's hard to keep track. Had a slight Mama Mia vibe to it with the story and ending. Thank goodness for the kids who were the saving grace of this show. Them, the gangster and the bar owner were the only characters I really liked. The story dragged and at times felt messy and a bit all over the place. I don't think I could have gotten through the whole thing without the FF button. The FL was so frustrating and annoying. She thinks he cheated but she didn't look longer than a couple seconds since it shows he pushed the girl away pretty quick. Never speaks to or confronts him but after one phone attempt, and a text, (both of which he never sees) disappears and never let's him know he has a kid. Even putting that aside, after the misunderstanding is cleared, and she knows he's a good guy, she is awful to him. Cruel even. Telling him he can't have a relationship with his own daughter and to stay away. Even saying something to the effect of it's almost funny how great they've been without him was horrible and cruel. This while he is reeling from suddenly finding out he has a 14 year old daughter he never knew about. She causes problems after problems with her continuous bad decision making. She is selfish, self righteous, and smug. She spent most of the time blowing up and getting pissed off at people. Yelling and giving dirty looks constantly. Even her pushing away and assuring everyone she was okay and strong even though she obviously wasn't came across more as her feeling self righteous and superior rather than feeling she was doing it to protect others or keeping them from worrying. More like it was a self affirmation for her own ego. Like assuring herself that her stupid decisions were best instead of self reflecting and realizing that she was not only hurting herself, but everyone around her. Especially her daughter.
The ML had a nice transition at first with him realizing his hate was much closer to love than he had ever imagined but the FL was written so poorly that after awhile I started feeling like he needed an intervention. It felt like he was just blindly obsessed and in love with his memory her so much that he couldn't see the real her. That all these guys were falling over themselves for her was just bizarre and weird. She had such an awful temper and a scowl over her face so much of the time it was like, why??? It didn't help that there was basically no romance between the leads the whole time. One small kiss and one peck on the cheek. Made the chemistry even more underwhelming.
One part I did think was funny was when I first heard that Korean song version, I thought, "That sounds a lot like that Cranberries song." only for them to play the actual song later.
The actor and actress characters were both the whiny "I liked them first!" characters which is a trope that is so annoying and lame and I wish would just die. For the actress, though, it seemed they were trying to rewrite history with her being that way. It comes across in the story that ML's family troubles come after they've gotten together, thus starting a strain in their relationship because he doesn't share what he's going through. Part of that, is his taking on tutoring students to bring in extra money which is where the actress comes in and causes the misunderstanding. So her whining to Ryu Jin about liking him first is wrong and put in there just to have her have the same rant as him. Poor writing.
The ending was just as bad as the rest of the story. There is a separation for no good reason. Who is going to wait around for years with no contact for someone? For all you know they could be dead, and there is no good reason to wait around for someone who can't even stay in contact with you. Another trope I wish would die. Weird Mama Mia-esque ending for no real reason and is just weird.

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I don't really understand why some people don't like this drama. In my opinion it wasn't that bad. The only issues that I had was that I didn't really have any love for Oh Dae Oh. At the end when he left he should have just stayed gone. He hurt Noh Ae Jung and Noh Ha Ni twice already be showing up and causing emotional turmoil for both of them and leaving again once they were both hopeful of having a complete family.

In my honest opinion I would have hoped that Noh Ae Jung would've ended up with one of the other 3 guys but the ending was smooth with each of them finding someone in their life other then Noh Ae Jung.

When I first saw the very end with the wedding I though it was going to be Noh Ae Jung's wedding with Oh Dae Oh because he showed up again, but I loved that it was Noh Ha Ni and Goo Dung Chan.

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Not bad, but not good either, if you're looking for a light drama

In order to enjoy the drama, you must watch it with the expectation that the it was a very light drama and the plot will keep circling with very less development. The storyline was good but it wasn't develop enough and builds up to the point it gets frustrating, as I thought it could get better. It starts of fun and light, in the middle it becomes repetitive and in the end it gets better with the tension, but not good enough. As much as I enjoy a light drama, I found the plot quite disappointing. But since I was looking and in the mood of a light drama, I could say I do enjoy it. Oh and, the good part of the drama would be about the daughter looking for who is the real father. Anyways, if you're looking for a light drama and you don't really have lots of options, then do watch it :)

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Sweet but frustrating at times

I love Kdramas and I am trying my best to love this one. My biggest problem is with the Fl. Next to the ML she looks old and dowdy most of the time. I decided to rewatch this drama and the second time around I found myself having a change of heart. I even changed my initial scoring.. The males actors are all a treat to watch . The two kids actually steal the movie. I wanted to learn more about the boy and his relationship with his father. I wanted to know who was the girls father. I don’t know why Asian women are usually depicted as being so pitiful. They are either overly aggressive or indecisive. The storyline is not unique. However the excuse given for hiding the father’s identity just is not convincing. It was really painful to watch. But as I started to make more attention I was drawn into how people and events affect our lives. Families do keep secrets. Some people never get over their first love. Life happens. As I said I liked the parts best with the male leads and the kids. The grandmother was great too. I do not find loud screaming females entertaining. The parts where the Ml was not yelling were really good. I say give this a chance.. You may be pleasantly surprised like I was.

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