Scripts of Liao Tingyan as a Salted Fish

NOTE: for admins if this is not allowed I can delete it

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

This not necessarily spoils the plot but rather spoils the character of Liao Tingyan. 

I only created it so I can go back to her absurd, witty and hilarious scripts if rewatch it again in the future. And I just want to share it with others too. 🥰

This is literal dialogues from the drama. Mostly I jotted down only those what makes me laugh. I can't help realize that I am a simple minded person since I'm laughing even when while was typing this scripts. I don't know what When Destiny Brings the Demon did to me 😭 

I just love Liao Tingyan so much that I can relate to her. Maybe I am Salted Fish like her but I don't have Sima Jiao in my life 💔

EPISODE 1

8:45
🦦: So this is the open audition

9:08
🦦: Wait a bit longer. I am used to walking in right of time

9:53
🦦: Oh, greetings, Aunt-Master
🦦: You look several hundred years older than me.
🦦: Even if you call me your granddaughter, I wont mind

10:14
👤 Girl from another sect: Exactly she has no real skill, just a pretty face.
🦦: Thank you for the compliment

12:04
🦦: Wasn't I'm just here to makeup the numbers?
🦦: Who bought me a debut spot?

12:15
🦦: I, the loser, would like to know that, too!

12:51
🦦: Plenty would kill for this job offer.

13:15
🦦: Even in the world of cultivation world, people are forced to compete.
🦦: I just want to be a pretty good for nothing

13:49
🦦: A promotion and a raise mean nothing to me.
🦦: I just want good food, good drink, and to get by quietly

14:34
🦦: So there is no KPI

14:48
🦦: A temporary break from the daily grind might not be so bad

15:39
🦦: Sounds like a hidden mega dungeon in a game

16:42
🦦: This Lord of Mercy doesn't sound merciful at all

17:25
🦦: So in the cultivation world, when the boss gets angry the employees start bleeding?

17:35
🦦: (Escaping but caught) Hi!😅 (literal english)

17:42
🦦: (Escaping again) I've lost something. Where did it go?
🦦: (Escapint third time) Ah! Oh, my stomach...It hurts so much. I'm going to faint.
🦦: Ow... My stomach...
👤Palace Master: Get up there first.
🦦: It hurts. It really hurts. All right I'm fine now. I can walk on my own.

20:54
🦦: Good thing this world has no time clock.
🦦: No one will notice I've skipped out.

22:20
🦦: In horror movies, the first to die is always the one alone. I should stay with the group.

23:04
🦦: The tower is so high. But there's not even an elevator?

24:36
🦦: The grandmaster's feet are incredibly well-cared-for.
🦦: So smooth and soft. I wonder if his face is the same

25:24
🦦: This centuries-old Grandmaster is actually a pretty boy?

26:16
🦦: How can someone so fair-skinned have such a bad temper?
🦦: He's like a landmine ready to explode

28:33
🦦: The Grandmaster seems to have lost his mind.
🦦: In fact, he seems madness!
🦦: In suspect he let us in just to stock up on fresh meat for his pet snake

29:41
🦦: I hope the Grandmaster does not hold regular meetings and will not see me again.

30:14
🦦: Are you, like me, from the "Doing Minimum Realm"?

31:03
🦦: I plan to find a sunny spot where I can nap in the sun at midday and stay there

EPISODE 2

03:15
🦦: Nice spot. Not too high. Far from the Central Tower.
🦦: No colleagues dropping by.
🦦: I'll lay down a thick quilt here for my own luxury suite

03:55
🦦: Oh Master...Master... This isn't about showing off.
🦦: I almost had my own funeral!

07:57
🦦: Why didn't my alarm ring?

12:21
👿: You're watching me
🦦: I'm just cross-eyed.

12:47
👿: Tell me, what are you really here for?
🦦: To fix my schedule and relax. In short, vacation. (Lol 😂 apparently someone in the comment section said in this era 'vacation' means 'dual cultivation')

13:12
👿: You don't want to kill me?
🦦: No
👿: Why not?
🦦: I'm just an innocent slacker.
🦦: With cultivation this low, why would I want to kill you?
👿: Really?
🦦: What else? Are you scared of everythink or what?
🦦: Is your brain broken?

14:08
🦦: Has he been in seclusion so long that his mind gone?

14:18
🦦: They should've sent a doctor to fix his head

14:56
🦦: Mr. Snake, look at my scrawny arms and legs.
🦦: Spare me will you. I'd only get stuck in your teeth!

19:15
🦦: Do cultivators get period cramps too?

23:59
🦦: I drank your blood? (Gags and ready to vomit)
👿: If you dare spit it out, I'll kill you.
🦦: (Swallows vomit 🤮)

30:22
🦦: (Knock Knock) Grandmaster, I'm here for work!

32:14
🦦: You kill over annoyance?
🦦: This Grandmaster's crazy

32:31
🦦: I'm exhausted. This is worse than rush hour.

32:59
🦦: Looks like he's just too bored and wants to work me to death.
🦦: At least I was still human in my old job. Now in the cultivation world I'm just the boss's plaything.

34:34
🦦: He dumped me here earlier without even telling me my work hours.

36:18
🦦: Maybe I should clocked out early?

EPISODE 3

1:48
🦦: You came back from the dead?
👤Girl from Palace Sect: You're still alive?
🦦: Miss... (she said in literal english😆)

2:23
🦦: I can't spread gossip about the boss

2:52
🦦: He acts like a schoolkid
🦦: Maybe aside from being a little slow in the head, he isn't one to kill someone over every little thing

04:13
🦦: At least I won't have to clock in for work.
🦦: I can sleep so well!

04:51
👤Girl from Palace Sect: How are you still alive?
🦦: (Sarcastic) I am embarassed.
🦦: (Sarcastic) I am the low-key type.
🦦: (Sarcastic) I haven't run into any danger yet

07:10
🦦: I really like it here more and more.
🦦: No clocking in for work and I met good colleagues
🦦: Although there are also those obsessed with office politics as long as I stay out of it I'll be safe

09:07
🦦: Another tedious climb.
🦦: Can we please skip this part?

09:36
🦦: The road to work is too exhausting.
🦦: No benefits and no pay.
🦦: He is worse than a capitalist.

11:00
🦦: I thought the cultivation world didn't have overtime.
🦦: I never thought it would be worse than my reality
🦦: Where I came from, no overtime just means losing your job
🦦: But here at Three Saints Mountain, no working means losing your head
🦦: What did I do to deserve this? When will I ever get rid of this demon?

11:41
👿: You keep saying "boss". What exactly is a boss?
🦦: A boss is someone I keep working for, and who keeps rewarding me
👿: How is that different from raising cattle?
🦦: 😃 That is an interesting view. People at home say the same thing. 🤐

13:19
🦦: Why can I still not live an easy life in this world?
🦦: Other protagonists are destined heroines
🦦: I'm just an overworked corporate grunt
🦦: No money, no days off, and I have to please the boss.
🦦: I typed on a keyboard everyday
🦦: Now I wipe with a rag!
🦦: Life without slacking is half the fun gone
🦦: As if that is not enough, I still have to deal with bratty kids.

13:53
🦦: In the cultivation world, talking flames are normal

16:29
🦦: Looking at this way, Three Saints Mountain isn't such a bad workplace
🦦: The only downside is no one here eats or drinks
🦦: I can't order takeout
🦦: Life has lost a lot of fun because of that

17:26
🦦: Boss...Boss...There should be some distance between ranks

17:40
🦦: Speaking which, we have never talked about an employment contract
🦦: There may be no labor laws here, but proper benefits should still be a thing
👿: Go on. What do you want?
🦦: I guess asking for a salary is impossible. At least give me weekends off
👿: So after all this is what you want
🦦: No weekends? Okay. One day off a week then

19:32
🦦: Sorry. Between him and your tiny evil force that spit sparks, of course I will bow to the greater evil boss
🦦: That is how office politics works

21:05
🦦: Besides, the more you know, the faster you die
👤Lotus Flower: One petal holds a thousand years of cultivation. Everyone in Gengchen Celestial Palace is desperate to get it
🦦: This should count as wages
👤Lotus Flower: Help me, and I will give you more petals
🦦: No thanks. I'll pass. Greed can kill you
🦦: I wouldn't dare use an item like this. What if I can't handle it and just die?
🦦: That is a common trope in novels.
🦦: My work is done for today. I'm off now

12:21
🦦: ~~~He.... 😬
👿: You're leaving already?
🦦: I finished all my work. Can't I leave?
👿: Who said you're done?
🦦: Why open your mouth and give yourself more work?
👿: Follow me if you want to live

24:15
🦦: Grandmaster. I'd like to confirm something with you. So we don't missteped in the future
👿: Speak.
🦦: Well. You fed me your blood, kept me by your side and are personally teaching me spells.
🦦: There are so many people on this mountain, yest you're giving me so much attention 😃
🦦: Could it be... that you like me? (😂😂😂😂😂)
👿: You, a mere Foundation Rise fledgling, talk to me about liking? (🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣) How laughable
🦦: 😚 I look pretty decent right now. At least I'm not laughable
🦦: And what does liking have to do with cultivation stages? ( Lol apparently this is about cultivation partner or for dual cultivation but she has no idea?)
👿: Mortal romance is beneath me.
🦦: Never say never. An old house can catch fire in a flash
👿: Nonsense. If not for your constitution that tempers the Spirit Fire's manic energy within me, you think you'd still be alive?
🦦: So I'm basically a walking air conditioner.
🦦: Guess I was overthinking.

🦦: Sima Jiao is really emotionless
🦦: Great. Bye !

26:59
🦦: Earplugs. An overworked laborer's bestfriend.

27:21
🦦: Mr. Snake. Didn't we agree?  When you came, just drink.
🦦: No need to wake me. Don't wake me when you leave.
🦦: Because of you I haven't had a full night's sleep in days
🦦: A snake shouldn't be too polite. Get it?
🦦: Forget it. You probably don't get it.
🦦: It's like after a long day of work, an enthusiastic coworker drags you to dinner

32:08
🦦: Not even an ibuprofen pill around
🦦: Ibuprofen... Isn't Grandmaster's blood basically ibuprofen?

32:58
🦦: Ruling. You actually risked becoming Mr. Snakecs dinner for me

34:05
🦦: Where did that rumor even come from? Fond of me?
🦦: He's just squeezing every bit of labor out of me.
🦦: Why would you want to please him?

34:28
🦦: That man has a stable streak of madness.

35:35
🦦: Mr. Snake, I wanted to ask you something .
🦦: Ive been Grandmaster for so long. You must know his likes and dislikes.
🦦: How would one go about pleasing him?

35:56
🦦: Grandmaster, look at this table. I polished it until it shines
🦦: And the floor, not a speck of dust.

36:31
👿: What do you want?
🦦: I want you on call. To donate blood for free.

37:10
🦦: I wouldn't dare. It's a plea.
👿: You want my blood? It depends on my mood.
🦦: So what would put you in a good mood?
🦦: You poor thing. You even have to think about that?

37:44
👿: Kill.
🦦: Huh?
👿: Kill someone for me.
🦦: Isn't that a bit above my pay grade?

38:49
🦦: Anyway, I've brought a three-piece stress relief set.
🦦: With my special massage technique, why not give a try?

39:13
🦦: Boss. See how I'm serving you with such sincerity?
🦦: I'm only going to discuss about my benefits. Can we renegotiate them?
👿: What benefits? It's about my blood again?
🦦: That's right. Also, I've been working five days straight.
🦦: Five straight days without a break.
🦦: Not to mention two days off, I don't even get one
👿: How can you be so shameless?
🦦: How am I shameless again?

40:08
🦦: Pleasing the boss is so hard.
🦦: If I'd known earlier, I would've learned more tricks from my coworkers

EPISODE 4

04:32
🦦: So he's not a demon, but the Monkey King

08:21
🦦: Come on, boss, don't waste that gorgeous face on a scowl!

11:02
🦦: Mr. Snake, look, with my amazing skill, I've captured your magestisc presence. 💪

11:58
🦦: I just want to be a slacker. Why is it so hard?

22:43
👤Ruling: could he...Could the Grandmaster really have feelings for you?
🦦: Aya...Impossible! It's definitely I'm his walking air conditioner.

29:33
🦦: Are all cultivators this ready to die? I cant do that.
🦦: Being alive is great. Why die for someone else?
🦦: If there's chance to live, I'll fight for it no matter what

30:04
🦦: Boss, don't scare me so early in the morning.
👿:  How can you be so timid?
🦦: So you'd better not pile too much work on me, or if I get hurt, you'll be responsible. Such a hassle.
👿: Want me to take responsibility for you? You've got some ambition
🦦: Grandmaster, you sure know what to focus on. 👍

30:33
👿: What kind of spell is this? You used this trick to win over that dumb snake?
🦦: Wrong! I can't use spells. You know that.
👿: (TRUTH spell🤞) Then tell me what is this spell?
🦦: It's a thumbs-up gesture
👿: What's a thumbs-up?
🦦: It's kissing up to you, butterring you up, and flattering you
👿: Such petty tricks are utterly beneath me.
🦦: Yet you seemed to enjoy it
👿: Too bad, I don't want kisses, and I don't eat butter. Your little schemed has failed.

37:17
👿: (TRUTH spell🤞) Why not eat it?
🦦: A cup of coffee only gives you an extra hour of energy. 🦦: But one petal gives a thousand years of cultivation.
🦦: I'm afraid it might kill me
👿: What if I insist you eat it?
🦦: Then I still won't. I'll take a gamble. See if you'll kill me for it

40:07
🦦: Boss, you've got blood on your lips when you say those cool lines

40:46
🦦: It's a perfect chance to suck up to you. Boss satisfied now?

 Moonly:

You really took your time. Thanks for writing these. It makes me remember all the funny moments ❤️😂

You're welcome . I did my best 😅 I have to past the time when I was so impatient in waiting for the episodes

 Liao Tingyan needs more appreciation and people need to be encourage to watch this since FL is one of a kind 🤣🤣🤣

I'm thinking if I could continue this with the remaining pisode since I didnt realize at the start that this is too difficult to make 😭