I feel a lot for Wen Yi Fan's character what she has been through is not simply something that left a scar on her for life, but it is something that haunted and still haunts her throughout all her life. It wasn't just the pain that tormented her but the very memory of it as well. Remembering it, having a memory of it is like reliving that horrifying experience over and over again, it's an excruciating process that will eat you both mentally and emotionally. Every time she is sleepwalking at night she is actually going through the suffering again. I think what some people do not understand is that people with traumas are not only battling about living everyday life but they have so much internal struggles to fight too. This is exactly Wen Yi Fan's case, she hasn't healed yet.
It's easy to say that she should have done "this" or done "that"... this is because we are merely speaking from our own perspectives - what 'we' will do in her place and not what 'Wen Yi Fan' will do. We forget to step into her shoes, see it from her point of view. She is only a fictional character but what more if she was real.
Wen Yi Fan didn't only suffer from the SA and an injured ankle, in that very same night she lost her 'voice' as a victim the moment her own mother turned her back on her, leaving her to face the injustice alone while her very own mother refused to defend and believe her. We were shown how she constantly beg and beg, how she kept expressing how terrified she was but no one ever gave her a hand and reached to her in that crucial moment in her life. She only had herself. This is where everything changed for her, and I think what some forgot. Wen Yi Fan survived all these years by relying on herself alone, she had made it far because she closed off a part of herself that was completely let down. It is how she had coped all these years. She had never asked for help because the last time she did, nobody helped her, so she thinks that there is no one who can help her. She may have friends and Sang Yan is now a part of her life, she could reach out easily to them but it's not that easy for someone like her who has been accustomed to dealing with everything on her own, and someone like her who was made to feel like she was nothing but a burden - her mother abandoning her and her aunt's treatment towards her - it was all shoved into her system that she now believes she really is a burden. Again it is easy to say that she should seek therapy, but what we fail to consider is that therapy requires one to open up about their traumatic experience - Wen Yi Fan can't even tell her loved ones the truth so this is obviously the last thing she would want to do because she is not ready and willing yet.
I have never considered her character to be "weak", "stupid" or "cowardly" when she chose to run away to HK because I understood this is her way of coping and at the same time what she did wasn't simply to protect herself but she wanted to protect Sang Yan too. She loves him so much that she would rather let him suffer from her absence than make him suffer from something worst for her. I understood too that what she did still ended up hurting Sang Yan and I am not invalidating that here, but we have to consider the fact that Sang Yan has only been a part of her life recently - a year to be exact and love isn't some miracle medicine that heals scars. Wen Yi Fan has carried these scars since her teens to her adulthood. It is not that she can't trust Sang Yan that she is unable to speak the truth to him, its has nothing to do with Sang Yan but it has to do with herself, her internal struggles...her unhealed scars from her past. Talking about traumas is the most hardest thing to do for people who suffers them, it's the same for the teen Wen Yi Fan who has lost her voice that night and still is the same for adult Wen Yi Fan. People deal with trauma differently it is not the same for everyone, at the same time healing is not linear.
https://kisskh.at/722171-first-frost#comment-21071780
