
H19279:
seeing the peach blossom right before and during the ceremony has different meaning. it is not she expected Jing to come. it is because she thought os he died. She accepted the fate of being lonely in Jade Mountain; marrying to the blossom forest of Jade Mountain
I mostly agree with this.
After 7 years, XY has probably given up all hope of TSJ returning. I don't think she was waiting for TSJ. I don't think she was waiting for anyone. IMO, the text makes it pretty clear that she felt that she had lost everything, that nothing mattered anymore, and that she had no hope left of being with XL or TSJ.
When the Royal Mother asked XY one last time whether she would accept the position of Royal Mother and its consequences, I think Tong Hua intentionally has the Royal Mother say "you cannot get married" as one of those consequences (rather than "you will always be alone") along with referencing XY recalling TSJ's marriage proposal and XY seeing TSJ again when she says "I agree". It reminded me a bit of a devoted widow choosing to become a buddhist nun so she could never be pushed into another marriage.
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Chapter 49:
In the past she greedily sought out the sights and sounds of the outside world but now that she lost everything, nothing mattered to her anymore. She was tired and wanted only a peaceful spot to putter around for the rest of her life.
Lie Yang grew silent and Sir Bi wanted to object, but couldn’t find a reason to. Perhaps reaching this point, growing old on Jade Mountain really was Xiao Yao’s only choice.
...
Xiao Yao smiled so casually, like this had nothing to do with her “Zhuan Xu, how can you not know why? I could have lived like an ordinary girl, marrying and having kids, living a simple, happy life. You took it all away from me! I can’t kill you, I can’t kill myself, I can’t even leave! The whole world knows I am Qi Yo’s daughter, the whole world is under your rule – if I can avoid people trying to kill me, I still can’t avoid your forces to bring me back. Zhuan Xu, the world is so vast but you’ve pushed me to the point of being with you or having nowhere else to go!”
“If you don’t become the Royal Mother, I can give up…….”
Xiao Yao shook her head. “Zhuan Xu, I’m tired, let me rest now!”
Zhuan Xu tightly held onto Xiao Yao’s hand pleading, “Xiao Yao, if you don’t become the Royal Mother I will give you any freedom you want, go anywhere you want!”
Xiao Yao got on her knees and raised her head to look up at Zhuan Xu, “Gege, please I beg you to remember all we shared and agree to let me be the Royal Mother. Give me a place to rest.”
Her expression was placid and in her dark depths there was no love or hate anymore, just nothingness.
He remembered when those eyes reflected intelligence and charm, beauty and wit. Those eyes showed happiness and sorrow, would get worried and mad…..even those last days on Sheng Nong Mountain those eyes reflected hatred.
But now there was nothing there! It was like a dried up well…
Zhuan Xu was so shocked his body grew slack and he backed up a few steps.
Xiao Yao pulled her hand back and continued to kneel, no evidence of any emotion from her as she calmly pleaded, “Please will Gege agree to let me be the Royal Mother?”
Zhuan Xu didn’t dare look into those eyes because it was a reminder that the Xiao Yao who accompanied him the entire way and was never crushed by any obstacle was now dead to him. And it was he who pushed her to this point step by step!