kisskh MDLv6.6
Home→ General Asia→ Lost You Forever→ Show & Movie Discussions→

Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao’s Story and Romance

HeadInTheClouds
 MountainPine:
But recently I had a hard and long "battle" with YaoJing fans online (most of time it felt like playing chess with a pigeons :)

Playing chess with a pigeon :-). Is that a Ukrainian idiom? I looked up the meaning and, lol!

Where were you having these battles?


 MountainPine:
Tong Hua's attitude is inconsistent to me.

I don't think Tong Hua is inconsistent. She appears inconsistent because we are looking at these relationships through the lens of a normal, psychologically healthy individual. Xiao Yao, though, is far from that.  So Xiao Yao doesn't behave in the way that we are used to, personally, as well as from a fiction perspective. Particularly, romantic fiction.  If you look at Xiao Yao's behaviour through the lens of someone heavily avoidant and operating from a place of fear, it would make a lot more sense.



 MountainPine:
Generally trough the novel she looks to me like a person with her bones broken. And instead of going trough hard and painful rehab to be back to normal life, in the end,  she is being put on a wheelchair and surrounded with pillows and someone promises to carry her like that  always so she don't feel pain

Exactly! Instead of addressing her problems, Xiao Yao chose to ignore and settle for the easier path. 


 MountainPine:
Jing wins in  "viewers favorite character online contest" and most of voters were women... How to even explain this? Who makes women weak and dependent? Men or, maybe... we ourselves?

Like Kokuto said, I wouldn't put too much stock in these online contests. During its run, there are different parties with vested interests looking to influence viewers' perception. Money was being poured into voting, as well as social media posts, for this reason. It's part and parcel of the Chinese Drama industry, unfortunately.  

And there are many people who not only see nothing wrong with Xiao Yao sneaking around with TSJ while he is still engaged, but find the whole thing romantic and "true love".  If you don't share their opinions, is there any point in talking with them? Like you said, it's like playing chess with a pigeon. :-).

 

 MountainPine:
Summing up, I wanted to ask if there is some thread or collection of all Tong Hua's comments and thoughts about LYF, and the way her attitude changed (probably) during all these years, so it can be possible to better understand what she actually wanted to say with her novel.

There were a few posts that collected these comments. It's somewhere in these 749 pages. I don't have the link, unfortunately. 

My personal opinion is that author should leave their works alone instead of attempting to edit and change things down the line. Each work captured the author's thoughts and intentions at the moment of its creation; subsequent revisions may not improve the work, and may even taint it.  Not to mention, once you sell the rights to your work, there are compromises to be made to satisfy outside investors. And finally, I think that sometimes the author is not the best person to adapt their work. They are too close and can fail to see the flaws in the work; ego can also come into play. 

Quote
MountainPine
 HeadInTheClouds:
Playing chess with a pigeon :-). Is that a Ukrainian idiom? I looked up the meaning and, lol!

😆Yes, that means while you're thinking of a smart move/response, they're just flipping chess pieces and 💩 on the board (I apologize, I hope that is not too harsh on them 🫣).

 HeadInTheClouds:
Where were you having these battles?

On twitter.

 HeadInTheClouds:
there are different parties with vested interests looking to influence viewers' perception. Money was being poured into voting, as well as social media posts, for this reason
What an irony. Xiang Liu loses both in fictional world and in the real world...💔

 HeadInTheClouds:
Xiao Yao sneaking around with TSJ while he is still engaged
I find Xiao Yao's belief that she should have helped Jing to see that Yi Yang is evil, that she should have interfered in the relationship of an engaged/married couple absolutely disgusting and wrong. This is definitely a completely wrong idea. No options. And it is very shameful for any woman to think so. If he can't manage and solve these problems himself and understand the person next to him, these are his own problems and his 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩.

 HeadInTheClouds:
we are looking at these relationships through the lens of a normal, psychologically healthy individual
🤔I don't know If I am normal, because we live out of comfort zone for a long time and death became something ordinary. But I believe this way I can see a bit more clearly thought the mist of this story.

Choices. In the fanfiction I mentioned yesterday, there is a moment that touched my heart. SPOILERS ahead. Tian Er breaks up with Chuan Zi and marries the soldier she loves. She lives with him for one year and he dies in battle. Hearing this story, Xiao Yao expresses her condolences to her but Tian Er says she doesn't need them because the choice she made gave her happiness in life (closure). And she have no regrets. This is a very strong life position.

I think Xiao Yao is very consistent. In degradation. But I... just hate her, to be honest. I wanted to write that she is miserable main character. But Xiang Liu would not fall in love with someone miserable. She is really original, "rich" and profound character. And this is why her degradation is SO EPIC. And degradation scenario is how it actually happened to many people in real life.
She is cowardly, self-serving, egoistic, and always blaming others (about abandonment). And her Reality Denial Syndrome is in its terminal stage.

And she is weak. "she didn't make an effort to find out (about life of her "family" from Hui Chun clinic ) not because she didn't care, but because she cared too much". She is unable to bear all the fear that comes with love and HEAVINESS OF LOVE that she has to her beloved people, and she just escapes and abandones them. Like sometimes fater escapes from family when turns out his child is seriously ill, leaving the mother to deal with everything. She abandoned people even more than was abandoned herself. She abandoned her relatives who were searching for her (not revealing herself), at some points she abandoned Jing, she abandoned Xiang Liu in the end...

 HeadInTheClouds:
My personal opinion is that author should leave their works alone instead of attempting to edit and change things down the line. Each work captured the author's thoughts and intentions at the moment of its creation; subsequent revisions may not improve the work, and may even taint it.  Not to mention, once you sell the rights to your work, there are compromises to be made to satisfy outside investors. And finally, I think that sometimes the author is not the best person to adapt their work. They are too close and can fail to see the flaws in the work; ego can also come into play. 
I support everything. I sometimes have this weird feeling that speaking out in support of YaoJing... it's like Tong Hua is taking revenge on a world where women so often choose Jing over Xiang Liu in their lives... but at the same time, it's like for some reason she's desperately trying to convince HERSELF that this is right decision and they'd make a good couple...

I am the kind of person who would confess my love to a man even if I felt that the chances of shared feelings were 5%. And I would be ok if rejected. And I would choose a man even knowing that he might die soon (my husband returned to the war 3 weeks after we got married). Xiang Liu's argument "the best ending for a general is to die on the battlefield" (don't try to "come closer" to me, it doesn't make sense because I'm going to die soon) - would not work for me. Therefore, probably the biggest question for me in this novel - did Xiang Liu at any point actually want her to confess to him directly and unequivocally and admit her feelings to herself and to him? If not, then why did he even ask her that 4th question, for what?
edited Quote
MountainPine
 liddi:
You can register on the Lofter app via a Weibo or WeChat account

From what I read it turns out I can't register on Weibo or WeChat not having Chinese phone number.

And this is a meme about a boy who wasn't given a chocolate bar...

Quote
MountainPine
 Kokuto:
The other clue to YaoJing is that its shadow relationship is Chuan Zi  and Sang Tian Er.  Their relationship is exactly as Tong Hua described -- time, setbacks, trials, and not built on romantic love, at least from Sang Tian Er's side.  While Chuan Zi's 'love' didn't stop him from cheating on her later on.  But the love of family and their life together was the foundation that allowed them both to work on their relationship and stay together.

I specifically reread today the part where Tian Er talks about her life and its outcome. According to Xiao Yao's earlier "plan" that she described to Jing, "fake feelings should eventually turn into real ones." But this is nowhere to be seen between Tian Er and Chuan Zi. Her family was held together solely by her desire for this, by her illusion of a happy family that she created consciously of her own free will ("whatever you want, you have to believe it exists"), and by her ability to forgive her husband. Nothing more. No fake feelings ever turned into real ones! No matter how hard she tried...

edited Quote

Recent Discussions

Hottest Discussions