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nothing quite as obvious as an indicator of mental illness as genuinely, irrevocably, wholeheartedly, entirely, intimately, physically, Bodily mourning the fictional life and fate of a fictional fucking character. i periodically burst into tears every time i thought about wwx for EIGHT FUCKING MONTHS. NONSTOP. the first BEAT of the ost had tears Springing to my eyes every single fucking time so fast i thought i was a fucking tap. absolutely insane.

the closest korea came to a historical danmei at least to my current knowledge.

if i ever made a hear me out cake this is going on it front and centre. loving it isnt enough i gotta have intense passionate sex with it.

NO ONE HAS EVER DONE M/F FRIENDSHIPS LIKE THIS SHOW.

the fact that romance was a subtle flavour to the undying loyalty, understanding, compassion, and kinship of chai kau and fourth mistress is just a Very Much Appreciated and Immaculate bonus.

sometimes when i close my eyes, i see the scene where lau sing finds out his little sister is nearing the end of her life bc of her illness and he's sitting alone on a bench in one of the hospital gardens, already grieving a loss that hasn't happened, until he is joined by kau mui, who understands intimately the loss and grief of losing a loved one especially a sister, and he tells her how he's taken care of his sister his whole life that everything he's done his entire life was to raise her properly and to make sure she's well and happy, and he tells her how when his sister was born, his mother laid the newborn in his arms and told him: "this is your sister, you're her older brother. you must always protect her" and that's what he's set his life doing and now she's dying and he doesn't know how to go on, and kau mui tells him: "your sister was brought to you from your mother and now when she goes, she will return to your mother. i think that is a comforting thought, at least" and then, in a brief moment of curiosity, she voices a thought: "would there be anyone up there who would wait for me when i die?" and as lau sing catches his breath again,

he looks up and meets her eyes and tells her: "let's see who would die first between us. if i die first, i would wait for you" and he looks away before he can catch the glistening of kau mui's eyes and then at the end when after decades of separation, they finally find each other again, they get to spend the rest of their lives together and when kau mui succumbs to her age the scene cuts back to the bench scene but it's a shot of just their backs side by side and it repeats the same line lau sing told her then about how he would wait for her if he dies first and kau mui dies smiling knowing she's being waited for bc lau sing had already left first AND MY HEART FEELS A LITTLE HEAVY.

when yall say corny shit like "kdrama men always raising standards" i tell myself its exclusively about ki seongyeom for peace of mind.

mentally ill rich ppl that Do deserve a little* grace