This is the poem printed on the front and back covers of the first edition of Lost You Forever, published in 2013. It’s deeply moving—and somehow, I’ve always felt that it speaks of Xiangliu and Xiaoyao ^^ Many thanks once again to Liddi for her beautiful and heartfelt translation.
Vol 1 如初见 As When We First Met (Lost You Forever)
Front cover 生命是一场又一场的相遇和别离，是一次又一次的遺忘和开始。可总有些事，一旦发生 就留下印迹；总有个人，—旦来过， 就无法忘记。 Life is a series of encounters and partings; it is a series of forgetting and beginnings. However, there will always be some things which once happened, would leave behind a trace; there will always be someone, whom once encountered, can never be forgotten.
Back cover 长相思，长相思。若问相思甚了期，除非相见时。长相思，长相思。欲把相思说似谁，浅情人不知。…… Everlasting yearning, everlasting yearning. If asked when the yearning will end, it will be at the time we meet. Everlasting yearning, everlasting yearning. Whom do you wish your yearning to be given to, The one whose love is weak will not know....
-- 晏几道 Yan Yi Dao, 《长相思·长相思》"Everlasting Longing"
Vol 2 诉衷情 Love Confessed (Love You Forever)
Front cover 相爱是两个人的天长地久，相思是一个人的地老天荒。 Loving each other means being everlasting and unchanging for two people. However, yearning is drawn out desolation for one person.
Back cover 花似伊，柳似伊，花柳青春人别离，低头双泪垂。长江东，长江西，两岸鸳鸯两处飞，相逢知几时。…… The flowers resemble you, The willows resemble you, Parting when the flowers and willows are glorious in spring, Heads bowed while tears flowed. The east side of the Yangtze river, The west side on the Yangtze river, Mandarin ducks fly on both sides of the strait, When will we meet again. ...
-- 欧阳修 Ou Yang Xiu,《长相思·花似伊》"Everlasting Longing - The Flowers Resemble You"
Vol 3 思无涯 Unending Yearning (Miss You Forever)
Front cover 漫长的光阴里，你不会只走过一个人的生命，也不会只有一个人走过你的生命。缘来时，猝不及防；缘去时，无力阻止。唯一能做的就是，遇见时，紧握手中 珍惜；离别后，深藏心底 铭记。 Across this long stretch in time, you will not cross paths with just one person's life, nor will only one person cross paths with your life. When fate arrives, you are caught off guard; when fate departs, you are powerless to stop it. The only thing one can do is to hold on tightly and cherish it when you encounter it; and bury it deep inside the heart and enshrine it after you are parted.
Back cover 一重山，两重山，山远天高烟水寒，相思枫叶丹。菊花开，菊花残，塞雁高飞人未还，一帘风月闲。 One mountain range, two mountain ranges, Faraway peaks against lofty skies and cold mists, Yearning like flaming maple leaves. Chrysanthemums bloom, Chrysanthemums wilt, The geese at the border have flown high but the person still has not returned, Only the wind and moon behind the curtain is carefree.
-- 李煜 Li Yu, 《长相思·一重山》"Everlasting Longing, A Mountain Range"
Note : > on the back cover of vol 1,it is written “浅情人不知 The one whose love is weak will not know". Whose love is weak? Who does not know?
> On the back cover of Vol 2, it is written "花柳青春人别离，低头双泪垂 Parting when the flowers and willows are glorious in spring, Heads bowed while tears flowed." Doesn't "flower" refer to Xiao Yao, while "willow" refers to Xiang Liu?
> As for the words "相思枫叶丹 Yearning like flaming maple leaves." on the back cover of Vol 3, remember when Xiao Yao saw Xiang Liu standing in front of a maple tree with blazing red frost-covered leaves?
他的头发恢复了白色，随意披垂着，如流云泻地。他身后是一株槭树，霜叶火红欲燃，越发衬得他皎若雪、洁若云，都无纤翳。 His hair was restored to white in colour, falling freely like floating clouds. Behind him was a maple tree, its frost-covered leaves blazing red, accentuating his features as clear as snow, as untouched as the clouds, without even a hint of shadow.
-- Vol 2 Ch15 (Chapter 32) - Qingshui town, after being taken away from the wedding
>on the back cover of vol 3,it is written "塞雁高飞人未还 The geese at the border has flown high but the person still has not returned," - Isn't the person who did not return is Xiang Liu?
Many thanks to Lidi for the beautiful and faithful translation — deeply appreciated.
Note : One more point of interest - who fits the description of a mutual love that cannot be together but unable to be forgotten? Because I'm biased, of course I believe it's Xiaoyao and Xiangliu ^^
The following is an English translation of a post by Tong Hua on Weibo :
[《Eternally Yearning for Each Other》(English title: Lost You Forever) -- A Mutual Love That Cannot be Together, Yet Unable to Be Forgotten
桐华tonghua 2013-02-26 09:35:53
Many readers remember Mrs. Hu from Jin Yong's "Flying Fox on Snowy Mountain". After her husband died, she committed suicide, a very soul-stirring love that follows in life and death. I was also very moved and liked this woman very much. However, although I was very young at the time, I still had doubts. She committed suicide, then what happened to her child? How would a child who lost both parents live on? Even if the child was entrusted to the most famous hero in the pugilistic world, what of it? Who can replace the parents' place in this world? (Facts proved that Hu Fei [the orphaned child] did undergo many hardships) Therefore in comparison, [author] Liang Yu Sheng's Wu Xuanshuang moved me more. The imagery of her taking Li Yi's children and walking step by step in the wind and snow after Li Yi died, will forever be imprinted in my heart. Her love for Li Yi was deep and surpassed her own life, yet she chose to live on and take care of Li Yi's children. (These are stories I read many years ago, but as I write this, I suddenly realised that I cannot remember Mrs. Hu's name except that she was Hu Yidao's wife, but I can clearly remember Wu Xuanshuang's name. This seems to indirectly imply how one woman made her life dependent on a man, while another woman lived out her own life regardless of how strong her love was.)
What Lost You Forever conveys is a kind of love that "lives [on]". I always feel that in this world, while love is soul-stirring, it is not everything in life.
Familial relationships, friendships, ideals, responsibilities... people have all kinds of ties in this world, and there are a lot of blessings and happiness that do not come from romantic love.
Eternal yearning for each other happens because there is profound love, because it cannot be obtained, because it cannot be forgotten. However, I am willing to bear with all these emotions and live well. Life is a series of encounters and partings; it is a series of forgetting (leaving behind) and beginnings. You were once here, you have left. Even though I find it difficult to stop missing you, I will still smile when I see the beautiful rainbow.
I have not published a new book in two years. This is my new story "Lost You Forever" for you -- my beloved readers, my companions on my journey!
Without you, I will not have story after story [to tell]. Thank you!
Tong Hua]
The following is an English translation of a post by Tong Hua on Weibo :
[ Long ago, I once mentioned that when I read "Flying Fox on Snowy Mountain", although I was extremely moved, the truth is I especially could not condone Hu Yidao's wife's suicide. As such, we have [the scenario of] Older Cousin (Cang Xuan) and his mother. Even after he grew up, Older Cousin was still haunted by the sight of his mother stabbing herself. He was always struggling with the shadow of that stab his entire life. As a wife, choosing to die with her husband was a moving choice. However, as a mother, since she gave birth to a child, she should have taken responsibility for her child.
There is another product of emotion in Lost You Forever. Western Poison Ouyang Feng from Baituo Mountain, was the most outstanding figure in the pugilistic world. Ouyang Ke was his son with his sister-in-law. This residual image was transformed into Maggie Cheung's unparalleled elegance, and Leslie Cheung's drunken haze in Wong Kar Wai's movie [东邪西毒 Ashes of Time]. The world kept them apart, but they could not forget each other even if they tried. But what about Western Poison's older brother? The lord of Baituo Mountain? No one cared, and it seemed he did not even have a name. I listened to 烬 Embers (from the movie), but the one I thought of was the man from the Ouyang clan of Baituo Mountain who did not even have a name. He married a woman who did not love him. Why? Ouyang Feng missed the woman on Baituo Mountain, yet never thought of visiting his older brother. Why? That woman could arrange for someone to deliver a jar of wine into Ouyang Feng's hands, and could give birth to his son. He was on Baituo mountain, was the lord of Baituo mountain, but... evidently never really intervened...
A little thought wandered from Baituo mountain to Qing Qiu. Then there was Jing, Hou, Yi Ying. I always wondered, if the man who rowed the boat on the spring waters amidst the shadows of flowers during Gao Xin's lantern festival was Jing, not Hou, Yi Ying and Jing might have been a good match too. Although Yi Ying was calculative every step of the way, the moment she heard of Jing's death, she set aside all her plans, disregarded her clan's opposition and the eyes of the world, put on her wedding dress and rushed thousands of miles all by herself to Qing Qiu mountain. She was determined to kill Hou and avenge Jing. Only, only... the man who came with a lantern that dim night. It was you after all!
Yes, exactly, from the creators of the characters. But I'm sure some people will come along and dismiss their…
I have been following this drama since last year, and only recently began reading the novel. My deep interest in the character XL led me to explore further, and eventually I discovered a truly insightful and in-depth discussion on MDL, particularly in the thread dedicated to exploring the relationship between XY and XL.
I never expected to reach page 670 of that thread—it all flowed so naturally and was such an enjoyable experience. The discussions there truly broadened my perspective, covering everything from the novel’s title, poetry, and even specific nuances in the translated versions. These conversations added depth to the story and revealed layers of meaning that I hadn’t noticed before.
One aspect I especially appreciate is the inclusion of quotes from Tong Hua’s Weibo posts and her interviews, which are often referenced in the thread. These not only strengthen the interpretation of XY and XL’s relationship but also provide direct validation from the author herself regarding the emotional complexity and expressions of love embedded in the story. Furthermore, several other credible sources have been cited to support the view that XY and XL’s connection is indeed rooted in love, even if it is not always conveyed in conventional or explicit ways.
I reposted several links on this main page—not with any intention to push an agenda or provoke debate, but simply because I find it frustrating when people repeatedly claim that XY and XL’s relationship is not about love. My intention was purely to help new members who have just joined MDL, or those who are just beginning to watch the drama or read the novel, gain access to important contextual information that has often been misunderstood or overlooked by some.
You were absolutely right when you referred to that thread as “the Harvard thread”—the level of analysis, the wealth of references, and the multi-layered discussions make it a space I deeply appreciate and am grateful to have found.
This is the introduction of the e-book lost you forever vol.1 2019 edition.Tonghua even gives readers a hint by saying that this is all just a "snake in the grass, a line in the dust", which stretches for thousands of miles. Is what we see with the naked eye really the truth? Oh I forgot, didn't xiaoyao end up with jing? So this is not about them.
a big thank you to @liddi who translated it from mandarin
The text says this:
Lost You Forever is one of the works Tong Hua herself is most satisfied with, the final chapter in the series of 山经海纪 The Mountain and Sea Chronicles. Set against a grandiose backdrop with many characters with different characteristics, while the main theme is love, it is not merely about love that is engraved on the bones and inscribed in the heart, but also the position that family, country and world holds in a person's life, and the familial affections and choices that lead to sharing each other's burdens.
What is lovesickness? A yearning that can never be realised, is the greatest yearning.
Loving each other means being everlasting and unchanging for two people. However, yearning is drawn out desolation for one person.
Lost You Forever Vol 1: As When We First Met
An encounter at Qingshui town is every character's introduction in the story which changed everyone's fate, and even the fate of the entire Great Wilderness. Xiao Yao met Ye Shi Qi, as well as Xiang Liu and Cang Xuan. The curtain to their story was raised, but everything was only "snakes on the grass, lines on dust", stretching out for thousands of miles. Is what we perceive with the naked eye really the truth? How deep can love go for a person in the face of manifold choices? Lovesickness is a cup of poisonous fine wine; it is sweet as it enters the throat, melting the soul and eroding the bones (sending one into a state of ecstasy), until it enters the heart and lungs, after which there is no longer a cure for it. Once the poison acts, it rips out the heart and lungs. Only the smile, the companionship of the loved one can cure it. If these cannot be obtained, all that remains is yearning engraved on the bones that lasts until death. The story still continues
Thanks liddi for translating the interview, Look at the girl's answer, xiaoyao didn't choose jing, OMG.
@liddi : I think there is some misunderstanding as to how Tong Hua described Lost You Forever.
She did not say that it was a happy ending. She merely said that it was not a tragedy:
Q: After reading the book, many readers said "长相思，摧心肝 Eternal longing, breaks my heart" [a poem by renowned poet of the Tang dynasty Li Bai]. In your opinion, is this work a tragedy at its core?
TH: I don't think that it is a tragedy because everyone obtained what they wished for, and achieved what they wanted most. For example, the male protagonist Cang Xuan hoped to be safe and be able to protect himself and his family, and he did it. Xiang Liu was unfailingly loyal and righteous to the end, and died on the battlefield. Tushan Jing hoped to be with Xiao Yao, while Xiao Yao hoped to have someone accompany her without abandoning her... As for those things that could not be obtained, life has never been perfect, and it is already no easy task to get what one wants most.
@liddi: I believe I might have an idea which Yang Zi interview you were referring to. Assuming we are talking about the same interview, it is during Yang Zi's live broadcast "Xiao Yao's tea gathering" on 8 Aug 2023. However, Yang Zi did not say that Xiao Yao never loved Xiang Liu. What she said was that she never knew how much Xiang Liu loved her, and that they were aware from the start that their opposing stance meant they were fated not to be able to be with each other.
The following is a quick transcript from 14:42mins onwards focused on Xiang Liu topics:
[10:58m] Actually after leaving Qingshui town, I was always in an emotional state, because I feel that lively, cheerful, carefree Xiao Liu no longer exists. I always want to cry everytime I think of it. After she became Xiao Yao, actually what I like better is... actually I feel that she was pretty sad in every stage because she now has responsibilities, burdens, duties. Perhaps, in certain aspects, during certain phases - she was happy when she was playing with Fangfeng Bei because she did not have to worry about responsibilities and burdens; at certain times when she was with dating Shi Qi and in Chenrong manor, she was happy; even when she was with gege, when they are not talking about matters pertaining to the country, not having to worry about whether they would still be alive the next day, just having a simple meal together - she was probably happy during those times too. However, I feel that for Xiao Yao, her happiness was always in stages, and short-lived. I feel that later, Xiao Yao is not as happy. : [12:13m] Q: Let us talk about happier things. We have a lot of adorable animated characters (?). Which one do you like most? A: At first it was Fei Fei, which only existed a day. Then there was Furball. The scene where everyone saw me pull its feather actually does not exist in the script. When I was filming it, I was very angry. I was thinking I got beaten up, got thrown off, and I could not do anything, so I thought let me pull a feather, because I hope that Furball was flying so it would not be able to do anything to me even if I yank its feather, so I really yanked its feather while we were filming. I thought it would be edited out in post-production but I did not think that they would leave it in including Furball's yelp, so I thought that was amusing. Then there was our little fox belonging to Tushan Jing. I thought it was very adorable too. : [13:58m] Has Xiao Yao ever loved Xiang Liu? I feel this question... I feel an adult's world and perspective on love is not just solely "love, love". I feel that is a little shallow. To me, all the character arcs in Lost You Forever are not... of course I am very happy that everyone loves all our characters a lot, and I am very happy that so many drama fans, book fans and our own fans are supporting us. I hope everyone would try to understand our characters based on our character arcs. Actually I feel that Xiao Yao and Xiang Liu is not just a simple who loved whom. They were both... I felt that in the beginning, everyone had the chance but the reality is that they did not choose Xiao Yao. This was not up to Xiao Yao to choose. One thing I really pitied Xiao Yao is that her character's fate was such that she had no option to choose anyone. In the beginning, I felt that perhaps Cang Xuan also had a chance. That is my opinion. But Xiang Liu had his 国家大义 (greater good of the nation). To some extent, I feel that Xiang Liu achieved a good, perfect end for himself. He was a general, and in the end he died on the battlefield, fulfilling his life's meaning and duties. So from a certain viewpoint, that was also a good end for him. His life was fated to not be able to be with Xiao Yao. In the previous generation, due to the problem of standpoint (opposing sides) and fate, my mother A Heng and my father Chi Chen ended up with a tragic ending. As such, in this generation, it is possible that Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao were fated not to be able to be together. They are... as everyone watching the drama feels that they should be a certain way... but they are always one person moves forward, and the other takes a step back; one person takes a step forward, the other person moves backward. In some ways, everyone was very clear-headed because from the start, they knew that the both of them would never work out. I think we should interpret it in this way, rather than just focusing whether they do love or do not love each other. I think that is not what this drama, or Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao are trying to convey. : [33:20m] Did Xiao Yao know what Xiang Liu sacrificed? I am not omniscient so Xiao Yao did not know. From Xiao Yao's POV, she had no idea what kind of feelings Xiang Liu had for her. Actually she totally did not know. So I often feel very sad for Xiang Liu, but from Xiao Yao's POV, she did not know. : [35:31m] I am very happy everyone is discussing the drama. But I would still like to ask everyone to watch rationally, because every character has its own mission and obligations, so it's not just solely love or whatever. They are all flesh and blood characters. So I can particularly understand everyone, after reading the novel, would analyse the drama from a God/omniscient perspective, but I hope everyone would still follow the drama daily as the plot unfolds, so as to understand each character's hardships. In addition, we filmed this drama for half a year, and we worked really hard and sacrificed for every scene in the drama, so I hope that those who love our drama Lost You Forever, no matter which character you love, would be able to get along together and support our drama. That's right. Please do not quarrel. Watch the drama properly. Don't quarrel, okay! : [37:06m] [Singing 长相思 Lost You Forever] : [39:14m] [Singing 偏爱人间烟火 with TJC - video was muted] : [42:58m] Did Xiao Yao see Xiang Liu cry? Of course not. She was already unconscious, so how could she see Xiang Liu cry? That scene was for the audience, to let them know his feelings, but based on my stipulated circumstances, Xiao Yao did not see it, and had no way to see it. So you cannot judge why Xiao Yao did not based on the viewer's perspective, but consider it from a normal perspective, which was Xiao Yao really did not see it. : [43:24m] Also I feel that Xiang Liu is very noble. He did not let Xiao Yao see how he really feels because he knows that, after he expresses his feelings, perhaps everything would change. : [43:48m] Is Xiao Yao disappointed that it was Fangfeng Bei, not Xiang Liu? Of course not. Why would Xiao Yao be disappointed? Xiao Yao was not disappointed. I feel that in that scene today, she did not know who came into the room, and after she removed the mask, she had a moment of confusion whether it was Xiang Liu or Fangfeng Bei, which was why she asked, "You are?". Then when Fangfeng Bei gave her the snarky smile, she thought it was Fangfeng Bei because only Fangfeng Bei would do something like that. Xiang Liu basically does not smile. So her reaction was, "Sigh, Fangfeng Bei, why is it you? What are you doing here?" Although her words were harsh, but she still saved Fangfeng Bei. Although she told Xiang Liu "Let us part and not whatever", but she hurried back with the poison and wanted to see whether Xiang Liu had left, only to find he had gone. So she is a harsh-mouthed but tender hearted girl. : [47:02m] Did Xiao Yao start falling for Xiang Liu when they were in the ocean? That scene has not aired yet and people are already analysing it beforehand. Wait for the scene to air. Like I said, Xiao Yao is not most people's first choice, because everyone have their life mission, their fate, their story so Xiao Yao is not like she is a princess, so she can get whatever she wants. Life is not like that, so it's not like Xiao Yao should or shouldn't be like this, but it is more of even if Xiao Yao were a certain way, the ending would still be the same because that is her fate. : [56:44m] Why did Xiao Yao choose Jing? In Jing's world, Xiao Yao is the only one. She did not choose Jing. Rather it is... Xiang Liu has his loyalty to the nation. He could never be with Xiao Yao based on his stance because his priority is his country. Gege is also not possible because he is going to be king, so in this world, only Jing can put Xiao Yao first
Many thanks once again to Liddi for her beautiful and heartfelt translation.
Vol 1 如初见 As When We First Met (Lost You Forever)
Front cover
生命是一场又一场的相遇和别离，是一次又一次的遺忘和开始。可总有些事，一旦发生 就留下印迹；总有个人，—旦来过， 就无法忘记。
Life is a series of encounters and partings; it is a series of forgetting and beginnings. However, there will always be some things which once happened, would leave behind a trace; there will always be someone, whom once encountered, can never be forgotten.
Back cover
长相思，长相思。若问相思甚了期，除非相见时。长相思，长相思。欲把相思说似谁，浅情人不知。……
Everlasting yearning, everlasting yearning. If asked when the yearning will end, it will be at the time we meet. Everlasting yearning, everlasting yearning. Whom do you wish your yearning to be given to, The one whose love is weak will not know....
-- 晏几道 Yan Yi Dao, 《长相思·长相思》"Everlasting Longing"
Vol 2 诉衷情 Love Confessed (Love You Forever)
Front cover
相爱是两个人的天长地久，相思是一个人的地老天荒。
Loving each other means being everlasting and unchanging for two people. However, yearning is drawn out desolation for one person.
Back cover
花似伊，柳似伊，花柳青春人别离，低头双泪垂。长江东，长江西，两岸鸳鸯两处飞，相逢知几时。……
The flowers resemble you, The willows resemble you, Parting when the flowers and willows are glorious in spring, Heads bowed while tears flowed.
The east side of the Yangtze river, The west side on the Yangtze river, Mandarin ducks fly on both sides of the strait, When will we meet again. ...
-- 欧阳修 Ou Yang Xiu,《长相思·花似伊》"Everlasting Longing - The Flowers Resemble You"
Vol 3 思无涯 Unending Yearning (Miss You Forever)
Front cover
漫长的光阴里，你不会只走过一个人的生命，也不会只有一个人走过你的生命。缘来时，猝不及防；缘去时，无力阻止。唯一能做的就是，遇见时，紧握手中 珍惜；离别后，深藏心底 铭记。
Across this long stretch in time, you will not cross paths with just one person's life, nor will only one person cross paths with your life. When fate arrives, you are caught off guard; when fate departs, you are powerless to stop it. The only thing one can do is to hold on tightly and cherish it when you encounter it; and bury it deep inside the heart and enshrine it after you are parted.
Back cover
一重山，两重山，山远天高烟水寒，相思枫叶丹。菊花开，菊花残，塞雁高飞人未还，一帘风月闲。
One mountain range, two mountain ranges, Faraway peaks against lofty skies and cold mists, Yearning like flaming maple leaves. Chrysanthemums bloom, Chrysanthemums wilt, The geese at the border have flown high but the person still has not returned, Only the wind and moon behind the curtain is carefree.
-- 李煜 Li Yu, 《长相思·一重山》"Everlasting Longing, A Mountain Range"
Note :
> on the back cover of vol 1,it is written “浅情人不知 The one whose love is weak will not know".
Whose love is weak? Who does not know?
> On the back cover of Vol 2, it is written "花柳青春人别离，低头双泪垂 Parting when the flowers and willows are glorious in spring, Heads bowed while tears flowed." Doesn't "flower" refer to Xiao Yao, while "willow" refers to Xiang Liu?
> As for the words "相思枫叶丹 Yearning like flaming maple leaves." on the back cover of Vol 3, remember when Xiao Yao saw Xiang Liu standing in front of a maple tree with blazing red frost-covered leaves?
他的头发恢复了白色，随意披垂着，如流云泻地。他身后是一株槭树，霜叶火红欲燃，越发衬得他皎若雪、洁若云，都无纤翳。
His hair was restored to white in colour, falling freely like floating clouds. Behind him was a maple tree, its frost-covered leaves blazing red, accentuating his features as clear as snow, as untouched as the clouds, without even a hint of shadow.
-- Vol 2 Ch15 (Chapter 32) - Qingshui town, after being taken away from the wedding
>on the back cover of vol 3,it is written "塞雁高飞人未还 The geese at the border has flown high but the person still has not returned," - Isn't the person who did not return is Xiang Liu?
Note : One more point of interest - who fits the description of a mutual love that cannot be together but unable to be forgotten?
Because I'm biased, of course I believe it's Xiaoyao and Xiangliu ^^
The following is an English translation of a post by Tong Hua on Weibo :
[《Eternally Yearning for Each Other》(English title: Lost You Forever) -- A Mutual Love That Cannot be Together, Yet Unable to Be Forgotten
桐华tonghua 2013-02-26 09:35:53
Many readers remember Mrs. Hu from Jin Yong's "Flying Fox on Snowy Mountain". After her husband died, she committed suicide, a very soul-stirring love that follows in life and death.
I was also very moved and liked this woman very much. However, although I was very young at the time, I still had doubts. She committed suicide, then what happened to her child? How would a child who lost both parents live on? Even if the child was entrusted to the most famous hero in the pugilistic world, what of it? Who can replace the parents' place in this world? (Facts proved that Hu Fei [the orphaned child] did undergo many hardships)
Therefore in comparison, [author] Liang Yu Sheng's Wu Xuanshuang moved me more. The imagery of her taking Li Yi's children and walking step by step in the wind and snow after Li Yi died, will forever be imprinted in my heart. Her love for Li Yi was deep and surpassed her own life, yet she chose to live on and take care of Li Yi's children.
(These are stories I read many years ago, but as I write this, I suddenly realised that I cannot remember Mrs. Hu's name except that she was Hu Yidao's wife, but I can clearly remember Wu Xuanshuang's name. This seems to indirectly imply how one woman made her life dependent on a man, while another woman lived out her own life regardless of how strong her love was.)
What Lost You Forever conveys is a kind of love that "lives [on]". I always feel that in this world, while love is soul-stirring, it is not everything in life.
Familial relationships, friendships, ideals, responsibilities... people have all kinds of ties in this world, and there are a lot of blessings and happiness that do not come from romantic love.
Eternal yearning for each other happens because there is profound love, because it cannot be obtained, because it cannot be forgotten. However, I am willing to bear with all these emotions and live well.
Life is a series of encounters and partings; it is a series of forgetting (leaving behind) and beginnings.
You were once here, you have left.
Even though I find it difficult to stop missing you, I will still smile when I see the beautiful rainbow.
I have not published a new book in two years. This is my new story "Lost You Forever" for you -- my beloved readers, my companions on my journey!
Without you, I will not have story after story [to tell]. Thank you!
Tong Hua]
The following is an English translation of a post by Tong Hua on Weibo :
[ Long ago, I once mentioned that when I read "Flying Fox on Snowy Mountain", although I was extremely moved, the truth is I especially could not condone Hu Yidao's wife's suicide. As such, we have [the scenario of] Older Cousin (Cang Xuan) and his mother.
Even after he grew up, Older Cousin was still haunted by the sight of his mother stabbing herself. He was always struggling with the shadow of that stab his entire life.
As a wife, choosing to die with her husband was a moving choice. However, as a mother, since she gave birth to a child, she should have taken responsibility for her child.
There is another product of emotion in Lost You Forever.
Western Poison Ouyang Feng from Baituo Mountain, was the most outstanding figure in the pugilistic world. Ouyang Ke was his son with his sister-in-law.
This residual image was transformed into Maggie Cheung's unparalleled elegance, and Leslie Cheung's drunken haze in Wong Kar Wai's movie [东邪西毒 Ashes of Time]. The world kept them apart, but they could not forget each other even if they tried.
But what about Western Poison's older brother? The lord of Baituo Mountain?
No one cared, and it seemed he did not even have a name.
I listened to 烬 Embers (from the movie), but the one I thought of was the man from the Ouyang clan of Baituo Mountain who did not even have a name.
He married a woman who did not love him. Why?
Ouyang Feng missed the woman on Baituo Mountain, yet never thought of visiting his older brother. Why?
That woman could arrange for someone to deliver a jar of wine into Ouyang Feng's hands, and could give birth to his son. He was on Baituo mountain, was the lord of Baituo mountain, but... evidently never really intervened...
A little thought wandered from Baituo mountain to Qing Qiu. Then there was Jing, Hou, Yi Ying. I always wondered, if the man who rowed the boat on the spring waters amidst the shadows of flowers during Gao Xin's lantern festival was Jing, not Hou, Yi Ying and Jing might have been a good match too. Although Yi Ying was calculative every step of the way, the moment she heard of Jing's death, she set aside all her plans, disregarded her clan's opposition and the eyes of the world, put on her wedding dress and rushed thousands of miles all by herself to Qing Qiu mountain. She was determined to kill Hou and avenge Jing. Only, only... the man who came with a lantern that dim night. It was you after all!
-- 桐华tonghua @ Weibo, 4-10, 16:30 (year unknown) ]
I never expected to reach page 670 of that thread—it all flowed so naturally and was such an enjoyable experience. The discussions there truly broadened my perspective, covering everything from the novel’s title, poetry, and even specific nuances in the translated versions. These conversations added depth to the story and revealed layers of meaning that I hadn’t noticed before.
One aspect I especially appreciate is the inclusion of quotes from Tong Hua’s Weibo posts and her interviews, which are often referenced in the thread. These not only strengthen the interpretation of XY and XL’s relationship but also provide direct validation from the author herself regarding the emotional complexity and expressions of love embedded in the story. Furthermore, several other credible sources have been cited to support the view that XY and XL’s connection is indeed rooted in love, even if it is not always conveyed in conventional or explicit ways.
I reposted several links on this main page—not with any intention to push an agenda or provoke debate, but simply because I find it frustrating when people repeatedly claim that XY and XL’s relationship is not about love. My intention was purely to help new members who have just joined MDL, or those who are just beginning to watch the drama or read the novel, gain access to important contextual information that has often been misunderstood or overlooked by some.
You were absolutely right when you referred to that thread as “the Harvard thread”—the level of analysis, the wealth of references, and the multi-layered discussions make it a space I deeply appreciate and am grateful to have found.
a big thank you to @liddi who translated it from mandarin
The text says this:
Lost You Forever is one of the works Tong Hua herself is most satisfied with, the final chapter in the series of 山经海纪 The Mountain and Sea Chronicles. Set against a grandiose backdrop with many characters with different characteristics, while the main theme is love, it is not merely about love that is engraved on the bones and inscribed in the heart, but also the position that family, country and world holds in a person's life, and the familial affections and choices that lead to sharing each other's burdens.
What is lovesickness? A yearning that can never be realised, is the greatest yearning.
Loving each other means being everlasting and unchanging for two people. However, yearning is drawn out desolation for one person.
Lost You Forever Vol 1: As When We First Met
An encounter at Qingshui town is every character's introduction in the story which changed everyone's fate, and even the fate of the entire Great Wilderness. Xiao Yao met Ye Shi Qi, as well as Xiang Liu and Cang Xuan. The curtain to their story was raised, but everything was only "snakes on the grass, lines on dust", stretching out for thousands of miles. Is what we perceive with the naked eye really the truth? How deep can love go for a person in the face of manifold choices? Lovesickness is a cup of poisonous fine wine; it is sweet as it enters the throat, melting the soul and eroding the bones (sending one into a state of ecstasy), until it enters the heart and lungs, after which there is no longer a cure for it. Once the poison acts, it rips out the heart and lungs. Only the smile, the companionship of the loved one can cure it. If these cannot be obtained, all that remains is yearning engraved on the bones that lasts until death. The story still continues
@liddi : I think there is some misunderstanding as to how Tong Hua described Lost You Forever.
She did not say that it was a happy ending. She merely said that it was not a tragedy:
Q: After reading the book, many readers said "长相思，摧心肝 Eternal longing, breaks my heart" [a poem by renowned poet of the Tang dynasty Li Bai]. In your opinion, is this work a tragedy at its core?
TH: I don't think that it is a tragedy because everyone obtained what they wished for, and achieved what they wanted most. For example, the male protagonist Cang Xuan hoped to be safe and be able to protect himself and his family, and he did it. Xiang Liu was unfailingly loyal and righteous to the end, and died on the battlefield. Tushan Jing hoped to be with Xiao Yao, while Xiao Yao hoped to have someone accompany her without abandoning her... As for those things that could not be obtained, life has never been perfect, and it is already no easy task to get what one wants most.
@liddi: I believe I might have an idea which Yang Zi interview you were referring to. Assuming we are talking about the same interview, it is during Yang Zi's live broadcast "Xiao Yao's tea gathering" on 8 Aug 2023. However, Yang Zi did not say that Xiao Yao never loved Xiang Liu. What she said was that she never knew how much Xiang Liu loved her, and that they were aware from the start that their opposing stance meant they were fated not to be able to be with each other.
The following is a quick transcript from 14:42mins onwards focused on Xiang Liu topics:
[10:58m] Actually after leaving Qingshui town, I was always in an emotional state, because I feel that lively, cheerful, carefree Xiao Liu no longer exists. I always want to cry everytime I think of it. After she became Xiao Yao, actually what I like better is... actually I feel that she was pretty sad in every stage because she now has responsibilities, burdens, duties. Perhaps, in certain aspects, during certain phases - she was happy when she was playing with Fangfeng Bei because she did not have to worry about responsibilities and burdens; at certain times when she was with dating Shi Qi and in Chenrong manor, she was happy; even when she was with gege, when they are not talking about matters pertaining to the country, not having to worry about whether they would still be alive the next day, just having a simple meal together - she was probably happy during those times too. However, I feel that for Xiao Yao, her happiness was always in stages, and short-lived. I feel that later, Xiao Yao is not as happy.
:
[12:13m] Q: Let us talk about happier things. We have a lot of adorable animated characters (?). Which one do you like most?
A: At first it was Fei Fei, which only existed a day. Then there was Furball. The scene where everyone saw me pull its feather actually does not exist in the script. When I was filming it, I was very angry. I was thinking I got beaten up, got thrown off, and I could not do anything, so I thought let me pull a feather, because I hope that Furball was flying so it would not be able to do anything to me even if I yank its feather, so I really yanked its feather while we were filming. I thought it would be edited out in post-production but I did not think that they would leave it in including Furball's yelp, so I thought that was amusing. Then there was our little fox belonging to Tushan Jing. I thought it was very adorable too.
:
[13:58m] Has Xiao Yao ever loved Xiang Liu? I feel this question... I feel an adult's world and perspective on love is not just solely "love, love". I feel that is a little shallow. To me, all the character arcs in Lost You Forever are not... of course I am very happy that everyone loves all our characters a lot, and I am very happy that so many drama fans, book fans and our own fans are supporting us. I hope everyone would try to understand our characters based on our character arcs. Actually I feel that Xiao Yao and Xiang Liu is not just a simple who loved whom. They were both... I felt that in the beginning, everyone had the chance but the reality is that they did not choose Xiao Yao. This was not up to Xiao Yao to choose. One thing I really pitied Xiao Yao is that her character's fate was such that she had no option to choose anyone. In the beginning, I felt that perhaps Cang Xuan also had a chance. That is my opinion. But Xiang Liu had his 国家大义 (greater good of the nation). To some extent, I feel that Xiang Liu achieved a good, perfect end for himself. He was a general, and in the end he died on the battlefield, fulfilling his life's meaning and duties. So from a certain viewpoint, that was also a good end for him. His life was fated to not be able to be with Xiao Yao. In the previous generation, due to the problem of standpoint (opposing sides) and fate, my mother A Heng and my father Chi Chen ended up with a tragic ending. As such, in this generation, it is possible that Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao were fated not to be able to be together. They are... as everyone watching the drama feels that they should be a certain way... but they are always one person moves forward, and the other takes a step back; one person takes a step forward, the other person moves backward. In some ways, everyone was very clear-headed because from the start, they knew that the both of them would never work out. I think we should interpret it in this way, rather than just focusing whether they do love or do not love each other. I think that is not what this drama, or Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao are trying to convey.
:
[33:20m] Did Xiao Yao know what Xiang Liu sacrificed? I am not omniscient so Xiao Yao did not know. From Xiao Yao's POV, she had no idea what kind of feelings Xiang Liu had for her. Actually she totally did not know. So I often feel very sad for Xiang Liu, but from Xiao Yao's POV, she did not know.
:
[35:31m] I am very happy everyone is discussing the drama. But I would still like to ask everyone to watch rationally, because every character has its own mission and obligations, so it's not just solely love or whatever. They are all flesh and blood characters. So I can particularly understand everyone, after reading the novel, would analyse the drama from a God/omniscient perspective, but I hope everyone would still follow the drama daily as the plot unfolds, so as to understand each character's hardships. In addition, we filmed this drama for half a year, and we worked really hard and sacrificed for every scene in the drama, so I hope that those who love our drama Lost You Forever, no matter which character you love, would be able to get along together and support our drama. That's right. Please do not quarrel. Watch the drama properly. Don't quarrel, okay!
:
[37:06m] [Singing 长相思 Lost You Forever]
:
[39:14m] [Singing 偏爱人间烟火 with TJC - video was muted]
:
[42:58m] Did Xiao Yao see Xiang Liu cry? Of course not. She was already unconscious, so how could she see Xiang Liu cry? That scene was for the audience, to let them know his feelings, but based on my stipulated circumstances, Xiao Yao did not see it, and had no way to see it. So you cannot judge why Xiao Yao did not based on the viewer's perspective, but consider it from a normal perspective, which was Xiao Yao really did not see it.
:
[43:24m] Also I feel that Xiang Liu is very noble. He did not let Xiao Yao see how he really feels because he knows that, after he expresses his feelings, perhaps everything would change.
:
[43:48m] Is Xiao Yao disappointed that it was Fangfeng Bei, not Xiang Liu? Of course not. Why would Xiao Yao be disappointed? Xiao Yao was not disappointed. I feel that in that scene today, she did not know who came into the room, and after she removed the mask, she had a moment of confusion whether it was Xiang Liu or Fangfeng Bei, which was why she asked, "You are?". Then when Fangfeng Bei gave her the snarky smile, she thought it was Fangfeng Bei because only Fangfeng Bei would do something like that. Xiang Liu basically does not smile. So her reaction was, "Sigh, Fangfeng Bei, why is it you? What are you doing here?" Although her words were harsh, but she still saved Fangfeng Bei. Although she told Xiang Liu "Let us part and not whatever", but she hurried back with the poison and wanted to see whether Xiang Liu had left, only to find he had gone. So she is a harsh-mouthed but tender hearted girl.
:
[47:02m] Did Xiao Yao start falling for Xiang Liu when they were in the ocean? That scene has not aired yet and people are already analysing it beforehand. Wait for the scene to air. Like I said, Xiao Yao is not most people's first choice, because everyone have their life mission, their fate, their story so Xiao Yao is not like she is a princess, so she can get whatever she wants. Life is not like that, so it's not like Xiao Yao should or shouldn't be like this, but it is more of even if Xiao Yao were a certain way, the ending would still be the same because that is her fate.
:
[56:44m] Why did Xiao Yao choose Jing? In Jing's world, Xiao Yao is the only one. She did not choose Jing. Rather it is... Xiang Liu has his loyalty to the nation. He could never be with Xiao Yao based on his stance because his priority is his country. Gege is also not possible because he is going to be king, so in this world, only Jing can put Xiao Yao first