Tonghua : When I was writing the novel,it was told from a relatively singular perspective —about 70 to 80 percent of the story was developed from the female protagonist’s point of view.For the other characters,I would give it some thought.As I often say,we might imagine something at a level of 10,but when we actually write it down,it may come out as only a 3.And due to the limitations of written expression,what truly gets across to the readers might end up being only a 1.
Lost You Forever is told from the female lead’s perspective.When I first took on the job of writing the screenplay,I was a bit resistant,because many seniors had told me that after writing scripts,you might lose a lot of the sensitivity and feelings you gain from writing novels.They said that scripts and novels are two completely different styles of writing.But due to various coincidences at the time,I had to take on the task myself.When I truly started writing the script —writing one part and leaving nine unwritten,making sure the drama followed the novel faithfully —I actually felt very grateful for taking on this job.Because it gave me another opportunity to step back into the world of Lost You Forever.
Also, because the creative process for screenwriting is different,it requires more of an omniscient perspective.You stand beside each character,feel what they feel,rather than staying biased toward the female lead's point of view, like in the novel.
So when I was working on the script,I brought out all the hidden clues that hadn’t been written into the novel.For me,it was like living another life with all these characters again,entering their world and experiencing it with them.
Although it was really hard at the time —since it was also my first time writing a script —I was learning as I went.Back then, I also watched a lot of classic and well-known dramas to study the creative methods of the senior writers.But I personally feel —it was all very much worth it.
Thank you so much for giving us this. I am fascinated by thinking about the 90% left unsaid. It's such a good…
You might want to check out the Yaoliu thread—on page 744, I posted an article by a blogger who analyzed both the drama and the original novel. The analysis focuses on the hidden storyline between Xiaoyao and Xiangliu as portrayed in the drama. Whether you agree with the interpretation or not is entirely up to your personal perspective.
Xiaoyao lay on a rock, kicking at the water as she said to Jing, "Next time, let’s go play in the ocean. The seabed is so beautiful, you could play all night and never get tired of it."
First of all, why would she suddenly think about playing in the ocean during a date? Because the one in her heart was Xiangliu, of course.
Then how would Jing feel upon hearing that? You can't even stay underwater for long without needing to breathe — how could you possibly 'play all night'?
And then, because she was thinking of Xiangliu, she pulled Jing into the water and wouldn’t let him come up. When Jing could no longer breathe, she gave him air through mouth-to-mouth.
At that moment, Jing completely understood why she said she could play all night — because that’s exactly how Xiangliu used to pass her air.
So came the line: “Jing, relying on a single breath, forced himself to surface.” “Just now, there was no me in your eyes.”
------------------------VS---------------------- A forehead kiss by Mr.Xiangliu
[She stared at Xiangliu. The man before her was clearly that roguish wanderer, yet just as she was about to be confused, a strand of white hair fell from beneath his hood, reminding her of who he truly was. Xiaoyao gently touched his white hair and said, "This place is not safe to linger. Once we’ve paid our respects to our old friend, let’s leave."
Because she had just cried, Xiaoyao’s eyes were exceptionally clear. Xiangliu could clearly see his own reflection within her bright eyes. He reached out, brushed over them, and gently closed her eyes. "I’m leaving."
Xiaoyao only felt a soft, cool sensation touch her forehead—just a light brush—and then it vanished instantly. She suddenly covered her forehead with her hand, opened her eyes to look around, but there was no one left before her.]
Based on what I’ve read from various sources,this book(Lost you forever) adopts the subtle writing style of Dream of the Red Chamber, aiming to reveal hidden truths: Qingshui Town is the real story, and the Great Princess (Da Wang Ji) is a lie. Chun Tao's shadow is Yao Liu, and Sang Chuan's shadow is Yao Jing. In Dream of the Red Chamber (Hong Lou Meng), there is an artistic technique known as “one voice, two songs; one hand, two letters,” a term summarized by people during the Qing dynasty. It means that one voice can sing two songs, and one hand can write two letters — also referred to as “one strike, two sounds; one stone, three birds.” In short, it's a method of writing where a single action carries multiple meanings.
In Lost You Forever (Chang Xiang Si), in order to keep us guessing and to ensure that no matter which character we support, it still makes sense, the author uses this technique extensively.
---- For example, Xiaoyao used hibiscus leaves to wash Jing’s hair in Caoaoling. Those who see Yaojing say it was very warm and the two got along well. Those who see Yaoliu would definitely say that something was wrong. Fangfeng Bei wanted to dye his hair. He dyed his hair using herbs, and hibiscus leaves can be used to dye hair. That day, while practicing archery, Xiaoyao was half-embracing him — so close that she could smell his hair.She was drawn to the scent and secretly thought of Fangfeng Bei. If not, then why didn’t she use soapberries, the ones commonly used in Qingshui City, to wash Jing’s hair?
Xiaoyao and Tushanjing wanted to play something in the room, but it turned out Xiaoyao’s room was filled with poison and nothing else. “So, paint a few portraits for me,” she said. “I want lotus flowers and butterflies. I once wanted to create poisonous butterflies, but I wasn’t good at drawing.” Yaojing said, “Look, they’re so sweet.” Yaoliu responded, “No.” Because the lotus represents Xiangliu, and the butterfly represents Xiaoyao. Even in the drama adaptation, Xiaoyao wears butterfly- accessories on her head
Xiaoyao saw Jing standing up and casually untying the crown that bound his hair. His head was covered with fine black hair falling down on his back and drifting away in the sea breeze like the Milky Way flowing down from the nineth level of Heaven. Xiaoyao’s heart pounded like a lost little deer. Yaojing supporters say it was because of Tushanjing. But Yaoliu supporters disagree — Don’t you know what color the Milky Way is? The Milky Way is silver-white. What truly left an impression on Xiaoyao and made her heart race was the imagery — hair flowing in the wind like the Milky Way descending from the heavens.
This kind of “one pen, two meanings” technique appears all over the novel.
yaojing will say, “Wow, that’s so sweet!” But yaoliu will respond, “Did you even read the book properly?”
Then the yaojing will insist, “Isn’t it written clearly in black and white?” While the yaoliu will say, “It’s full of irony! You need to read more carefully.”
But Yaojing said: Xiaoyao told Xinyue that she and Tu Shanjing had feelings for each other.
Lover’s Gu vs Heaven’s Mouth in the drama adaptation.
Xiaoyao: 不是他对我有意 It’s not that he has feelings for me, 是我们互相有意 it’s that we have feelings for each other, 两情相悦 ---------- Gu Lover's : 求的是一心一意
永不相负 What is desired is wholehearted devotion and never betraying each other.
----- "The truth is hidden, the lie is upheld." Which one will you trust — your mouth or your heart? "Full of absurd words"— Cao Xueqin, Dream of the Red Chamber.
The Yellow Emperor suddenly spoke in dissatisfaction: “The customs of the Central Plains are the most annoying. What’s the point of mourning? If someone truly holds the deceased in their heart, even if society forbids them from mourning, they will still remember that person for a lifetime. But if there’s no one in their heart, what’s the use of mourning for a year or even three? Isn’t it just grief in front of others, and joy behind their backs?”
“When it comes to matters like this, the tribes in the Northwest see things far more clearly than you do. If a young widow is willing, even if the grave soil hasn’t dried yet, she can still marry again. That’s why it’s common in the tribes for people to drink mourning wine in the morning, and wedding wine in the evening.”
Xiaoyao burst out laughing and spat out her sour plum drink: “Grandpa, you really are becoming more and more childish as you age! They say old people become like children again—now I finally believe it!” ----------------------------------
【If someone truly holds the deceased in their heart, even if society forbids them from mourning, they will still remember that person for a lifetime."】 — This line corresponds to what happens after Xiang Liu's death: the "young widow" is not allowed to publicly mourn her late husband and marries someone else right away (as shown in the modified drama version), but deep in her heart, she remembers Xiang Liu for the rest of her life.
【"If there is no one in the heart, then even mourning for one year or three years—what does it matter? It’s just putting on an act of sorrow in front of others, while enjoying life behind their backs."】 — This line refers to the moment when Tu Shanjing ‘dies’, and Xiao Yao acts devastated in public, pretending to grieve deeply, even wanting to die with him. But in private, once she encounters the great whirlpool and sees Xiang Liu, she immediately clings to him, desperately trying to get close and intimate.
The question is: Tu Shanjing had "just died," and Xiao Yao was already enjoying herself behind the scenes—would this make Tu Shanjing feel disappointed or sad? ———The answer is: No!
The leaked script: Tu Shanjing: "You're worried that if I don't go after her, she'll end up with someone else?"
△ The little fox spirit nodded immediately, but Tu Shanjing just stared out the window without moving.
Tu Shanjing: "Years ago, just because I wanted to be with Xiaoliu, I took advantage of her soft heart. Between me and Xiang Liu, I never gave her the chance to choose. But in the end… I still couldn’t give her happiness. Now... I want to return that right to choose back to her—that’s a debt I owe her."
△ The little fox spirit fell silent, gazing sadly at Tu Shanjing, who looked like he was in pain.
--------- Tu Shanjing knew from the very beginning that Xiao Yao liked Xiang Liu—and only Xiang Liu. But precisely because of that, he took advantage of Xiao Yao’s illness to make a "fifteen-year promise" and held onto it tightly, refusing to let go.
----- Drama adaptation about 'Lover's Gu:
"What is desired is sincere and faithful love —a love that never betrays."
(This is a rebuttal to those who claim: “The novel never clearly states that a person can’t love more than one person at the same time. The Lover Gu (情人蛊) allows for ‘divided affections.’ As long as Xiao Yao still has some love for Xiang Liu, it’s fine if she also loves Jing and her cousin—she wouldn’t be harmed or die from a Gu backlash...”) ------ Drama adaptation: [One male and one female, with equal power]
(This is to refute the claim that: “The one who loves more deeply controls the Gu; Xiang Liu used his spiritual power to control the female Gu inside Xiao Yao...”) ---------------- Drama adaptation : [If one person dies, the other will definitely die as well]
The leaked script says: Empress Dowager (Wang Mu): Xiao Yao and Xiang Liu share a life-binding Gu — if one dies, the other is sure to die as well.
(This is a rebuttal to the claim: “The two of them, like her cousin, were only affected by a fake Gu, a one-sided bond. If Xiang Liu died, Xiao Yao wouldn’t die—Xiang Liu was just overly emotional and sacrificed himself for no real reason.This also answers Xiao Yao’s question to Xiang Liu when she asked: “If I die, can you go on living?”)
Just look at how far some of these so-called "novel fans" have twisted the meaning of the Lover Gu... Tong Hua had clearly had enough and refuted all of it, one by one, in the drama version. Now let’s see if there’s still any room left for them to twist the facts!
------ Drama adaptation — Xiaoyao says to Tu Shanjing, who has been pretending to be dead for 37 years:
Xiaoyao: "I'm someone who wouldn't even trust myself."
--------- Xiao Yao is a performance artist who deceives both herself and others, and a fan of substitute romance literature.
Leaked script: Xiang Liu: “Fool! The Lover's Gu that binds life and heart—do you think it can be planted so casually? ‘The wutong trees on earth grow old together, The Peng birds in the sky never fly alone, And the mandarin ducks in the water will die in pairs.’
------ Original novel text :
[Jing cared deeply—every time the attempt to break the Gu failed, his disappointment was always evident and hard to hide. Xiaoyao smiled brightly and comforted him: “The so-called heart connection isn’t actually that intimate. In reality, only Xiang Liu can feel some of my pain. I can’t feel anything from him at all. So it doesn’t really count as a heart-to-heart connection.” In truth, what Jing was concerned about wasn’t the “emotional link” between Xiaoyao and Xiang Liu, but the life connection between them. But this uneasiness was something he couldn’t bring himself to tell Xiaoyao, so he could only let her continue to misunderstand the reason behind his concern.] ------------------------------------------ Xiaoyao even misunderstood, thinking that Tu Shanjing was upset about the “heart-connected” bond between her and Xiang Liu. She even tried to comfort him by saying that the connection wasn’t that intimate. But all of that was just Xiaoyao overthinking and being overly sensitive.
In truth, Tu Shanjing didn’t care who Xiaoyao loved or who she was emotionally connected to. What he cared about was her life. Xiaoyao could not leave him—without her, he couldn’t survive.
At first, Tu Shanjing wanted Xiao Yao’s love.But after the 37 years spent beneath the sea, when he lost her,he lowered his expectations.
[Actually, I know you can live just fine without me, and I know Fangfeng Bei is a better match for you, but I just can't let go. As long as I’m alive, it’s impossible! I’m sorry, I’m sorry]
Xiaoyao absolutely loved both Jing and Xiang Liu, but in very different ways. Xiang Liu was the one she couldn’t…
@sanajeinab:
Traditional Social Structure: The Four Classes In ancient Chinese society (such as during the Han, Tang, and Song dynasties), there was a recognized system of “Four Social Classes” (士农工商):
士 (Shi) – Scholars / officials / aristocrats
农 (Nong) – Farmers
工 (Gong) – Artisans
商 (Shang) – Merchants
------------- Merchants were placed at the very bottom of the hierarchy, even though they could be extremely wealthy. ------------------------------ Money ≠ Honor In many traditional societies:
Wealth did not automatically equate to high social status.
Social status was inherited through noble bloodlines, official positions, or scholarly achievement—not through trade.
Merchants often had to bribe or purchase titles in order to elevate their status (this is commonly portrayed in many historical dramas).Because merchants were often wealthier than nobles, rulers saw them as a political threat. To limit their power, the government prohibited merchants from holding official positions or freely purchasing land. This prevented them from rising in status through wealth alone.
Chang Xiang Si 2: Love Confessed (Love You Forever)
最好的年华，总在不懂得珍惜前就已消逝；最深爱的人，却在来不及用心前悄然远离。
The best years always fade away before we learn to cherish them; the one we love the most quietly drifts away before we have a chance to truly care.
在等待中错过，在失去时追悔，却不知失去的便不再有，错过的就再也无法找回。
We miss out while waiting, regret only after losing, not realizing that what’s lost will never return, and what’s missed can never be recovered.
对的人与爱的人又该如何选择，
How should we choose between the right person and the one we love?
-------------------------------------------------------------- This is the electronic edition introduction of the 2013 edition of the book. Those who don’t believe that Xiaoyao and Xiangliu loved each other say that this is a story about Xiaoyao choosing between the one she loves (Jing) and the right person (Fenglong)
"When I write novels, I use a relatively simple narrative perspective. About 70% to 80% of the story is told from the female protagonist’s point of view.
So even when we imagine 10 full points in our minds, we might only be able to express 3 in writing. And due to the limitations of written language, what actually reaches the readers— especially those who only read the black and white text— might end up being just 1 point." ------------------------------------------- The overall meaning of this quote is that Tong Hua is explaining the wide gap between a writer’s imagination and a reader’s understanding. Even if the writer holds many layers of meaning in their mind, what actually reaches the reader can be very limited—especially if the reader only looks at the surface of the text.
Therefore, Tong Hua gave a hint in the preface of the 2019 digital edition, saying that all of this is merely a 'snake in the grass, a line in the dust'—stretching for thousands of miles. Is what we see with the naked eye truly the truth?
On August 8, a seminar for the web drama Lost You Forever, hosted by the China Television Arts Committee, was held in Beijing. Attending the event were representatives from the Literature and Arts Bureau of the Central Propaganda Department, the International Cooperation Department of the National Radio and Television Administration, and the Guangdong Provincial Radio and Television Bureau. The seminar was moderated by Yi Kai, Secretary-General of the China Television Arts Committee.
Tong Hua, the original author of the novel and screenwriter of the drama, shared her experience in writing both the novel and the script adaptation. During the process of adapting Lost You Forever into a screenplay, she abandoned the novel’s single-point perspective and instead used a third-person narrative to reframe hidden clues and reconstruct the worldview within the story. She expressed that the process of transforming black-and-white words into a colorful world for the audience was an exciting and rewarding journey.
Qin Zhen, the drama’s chief director, gave an in-depth presentation about the creative process, including character development, cinematographic language, art direction, and post-production. She said that from the very beginning, she was drawn to the core emotional themes and the grand setting of the story. To bring this delicate and warm fantasy world to life, the production team spent 15 months in preparation, ultimately completing a new-style historical costume drama that blends emotional exploration and destiny choices with a realistic approach.
Zheng Chen, the drama’s art director, also shared insights into the visual design. He explained that the drama’s aesthetics are rooted in traditional Chinese art, and the construction of its visual world began at the script development stage. To represent the four vastly different regions—Xiyan, Chenrong, Haoling, and Qing Shui Town—the team incorporated bronze decorative patterns from ancient Chinese culture and elements from Jiangnan, specifically the Wu and Yue regions. He described it as a challenging yet highly rewarding creative experience.] ---------------------------------------------
since the novel features two parallel storylines—a light line and a dark line—it wasn’t feasible to present both simultaneously in the drama due to censorship constraints. As a result, the actors portray the light storyline, which is the Yaojing arc, while the dark storyline, the Yaoliu arc, is conveyed through elements like props, costumes, visual art, and cinematography.
The Yaoliu dark line was intentionally left for novel readers to explore in depth. For viewers who haven't read the novel, following the main Yaojing arc is enough—there's no need to get too caught up in the hidden dark storyline.
Xiaoyao absolutely loved both Jing and Xiang Liu, but in very different ways. Xiang Liu was the one she couldn’t…
You said:
[##Lovers Bug = the proof of love??? lol
This is where your whole argument collapses.
You talk about understanding the bug, but keep twisting its meaning to fit your shipping agenda. The Lovers Bug proves one-sided devotion,, not mutual love. The bug can turn into a Heartbreak Bug if love is not returned. That’s canon said in the drama and book. And that’s exactly what happened Xiang Liu loved Xiaoyao, silently, without confession, and the bug became a burden]
---------------------- The original text says:
巫王咳嗽了一声,郑重地说:“情人蛊,顾名思义有一对雌雄蛊虫,中蛊的男女命脉相连、心意相通,一人痛,另一人也会痛,一人伤,另一人也会伤。 The Witch King coughed, then spoke solemnly, “The Lover’s Gu, as the name suggests, consists of a pair of male and female Gu insects. The man and woman afflicted by this Gu will have their lives and hearts linked—if one feels pain, so does the other; if one is injured, the other feels it too.” ----------------- 孤阳不生,独阴不长,万物有利一面,则必有害一面,利越大,害就越大,情人蛊亦是如此。它能让有情人心意相通、命脉相连,可情人蛊就像相恋的恋人,脾气多变,非常难驾驭,蛊虫极易反噬,一旦发作,两人俱亡,所以情人蛊还有个名字,叫断肠蛊 "Yang cannot grow alone, and Yin cannot thrive on its own. Everything in this world that has a beneficial side also carries a harmful one. The greater the benefit, the greater the risk. Qingren Gu (Lover’s Gu) is no exception.This Gu allows a pair of lovers to share one heart and have their life forces intertwined. "However, the Qingren Gu(Lover's Gu) is like a pair of lovers falling in love—emotional, unpredictable, and extremely difficult to control.The Gu is highly prone to turning against its host. Once it erupts, both will perish. That’s why Qingren Gu(Lover's Gu)also has another name: Duanchang Gu—the Heartbreak Gu." ---------------- 有情人养情人蛊,断肠人成断肠蛊”,情人蛊和其他蛊都不同,必须要一对情人心甘情愿,才能种蛊,他若不是你的情郎,你怎么可能给他种下情人蛊?” "The Lover’s Gu is different from other types of Gu. It requires a pair of lovers who are truly willing and wholehearted—only then can the Gu be planted."If he is not your lover, how could you plant a lover's Gu on him?" ----------------------------- 巫王悚然变色:“难道你的蛊不是种给这位公子?" “不是。” --- "The Witch King's face changed color in shock and fear.Could it be that your Gu wasn’t planted in this young master?
Xiaoyao: NO ! -------------------- Logically,If you planted a Lover’s Gu in someone first, but then fell in love with someone else… should you even be allowed to live?"
Because the effect of the Lover's Gu is immediate — "both die." Looking back at the Witch King's reaction, what is the reason the Lover's Gu is so prone to biting back? It's simply a change of heart. Death signifies a backlash, and that backlash comes from a change of heart. If you don’t die, it means you haven’t changed your heart. ---------- The original text says: 巫王心中百般不解,可小天的情郎明显是她身边的这位公子,有些话不好再说,只得敷衍道:“姑娘教训的是,姑娘体内的蛊虫的确不同于一般的蛊虫, 想来姑娘和那人都有特异之处。” The Witch King was filled with confusion, but it was clear that Xiaotian’s lover was the young man beside her. Some things were inappropriate to say aloud, so he could only respond vaguely:
“You are right, Miss. The Gu worm in your body is indeed different from ordinary ones. It seems both you and that man possess unique qualities.”
-------- In the drama adaptation, it becomes even clearer: "one heart and never betray each other."
You are not alone on that thought. I too think that both Jing and XL are special to XY. She loved them both but…
There was another moment—when Xiaoyao and Fangfeng Bei visited the slave betting arena. At that time, Xiaoyao wore a green dress, and Xiangliu wore a red robe. Unbeknownst to them, the clothes they wore were actually matching outfits once worn by Aheng and Chichen.
"Xiaoyao seemed to see her father, dressed in red, and her mother, in a green gown, standing side by side. Her father looked just as strong and agile as she remembered, and her mother just as graceful and pure as before her injury. They leaned into each other and smiled at her."
Xiaoyao absolutely loved both Jing and Xiang Liu, but in very different ways. Xiang Liu was the one she couldn’t…
After Tu Shanjing returned with Xiaoyao, he was eager to marry her as soon as possible. In his haste, he even staged a fake funeral for Fangfeng Yiying, despite the fact that she was still alive. He insisted that helping Fangfeng Yiying was merely a coincidence, and that his main goal was to marry Xiaoyao right away.
However, Xiaoyao calmly refused, saying that she didn’t want to rush into marriage.
After Xiaoyao's true identity was revealed—that she was the daughter of Chiyou—she and Tu Shanjing went to meet her parents and untangle the emotional knots of the past. During that meeting, Aheng asked:
“Are there really no others who have treated you well? Why does it have to be him?”
Xiaoyao answered:
“Because he’s the only one who would never leave me.”
Aheng then shared the story of her past with Chiyou. She said: “Behind him stood Shennong, and behind me stood Xuanyuan. He couldn’t leave Shennong, and I couldn’t leave Xuanyuan. So, the only path left for us was to fight each other to the death on the battlefield.”
Afterward, Xiaoyao and Tu Shanjing traveled to Jiuli, where Xiaoyao learned about the "Bug Lover" from the Shaman King.
Upon returning from Jiuli, Xiaoyao went to the sea and said she wanted to stay there for a day. Standing at the shore, she was overwhelmed by a powerful urge to jump—as if she wished to let everything go—but she held herself back. She was battling herself, torn between logic and emotion.
That was when Xiangliu appeared. They listened together to the mermaid’s song, and Xiaoyao’s heart felt deeply connected to Xiangliu’s. They spoke about the Bug Lover, but Xiangliu eventually left. Xiaoyao nearly ran after him—but Tu Shanjing stopped her and said:
“You are not allowed to become someone else’s wife.”
Shortly after, Tu Shanjing proposed to Xiaoyao. He had already made all the preparations and was impatient to marry her. When Huangdi, Xiaoyao’s grandfather, asked about the wedding date, Xiaoyao replied that she wanted to complete her medical studies first.
Huangdi looked at her and said:
“This isn’t a matter of two or three years. Are you truly sure?”
Then he sighed and gently added:
“Xiaoyao… I’ve always said you’re not like your mother. But in truth, you are very much like her.”
Xiaoyao immediately frowned and replied firmly:
“I am NOT like her!”
If what Huangdi meant was that Xiaoyao resembled Aheng in her passion for medicine, then Xiaoyao would have had no reason to reject the comparison. She had already reconciled with her mother; there was no longer any hatred.
But the answer was already clear.
Huangdi knew who truly lived in Xiaoyao’s heart.And Xiaoyao understood the deeper meaning behind her grandfather’s words. It wasn’t about her profession or her studies in medicine.But......
Even when she was engaged to Fenglong, Fenglong said this when they arrived in Chishui: “If you want to study medicine, you can continue learning. Even if you want to practice as a doctor in the future, I will fully support you.” (Episode 2-14: Chasing the past only brings me pain) So then, why couldn’t I study medical books after marriage? Does Qingqiu not have desks or houses? Is the home of the wealthiest man in Dahuang not spacious enough? After marriage, Xiaoyao would live in Xiaoyue Ding and continue studying medicine. Would Jing ever object to a single word of that? Of course not—he never would.
@cherryisha All the characters in LYF are flawed in their own way, including XY. So in the end, it’s really…
Honestly, I don't quite understand what you mean with all the things you're twisting around. Okey,I will not subtract, add, or alter anything that Tong Hua said. She wrote: Eternal yearning for each other happens because there is profound love, because it cannot be obtained, because it cannot be forgotten. However, I am willing to bear with all these emotions and live well. Life is a series of encounters and partings; it is a series of forgetting (leaving behind) and beginnings. You were once here, you have left. Even though I find it difficult to stop missing you, I will still smile when I see the beautiful rainbow. In the prototype written by Tong Hua, she was willing to carry all the emotions and try to live well after her lover died. Oh, I almost forgot—was her life really fine after Tu Shanjing died? Even though he didn’t actually die.
@cherryisha All the characters in LYF are flawed in their own way, including XY. So in the end, it’s really…
Yes, I know that interview. Tong Hua did say that Eternal Yearning was written for Cang Xuan, since he is the male lead. But let’s be realistic: the majority of Lost You Forever is told from Xiao Yao’s point of view. And throughout the story, Cang Xuan never had a romantic arc with Xiao Yao. Xiao Yao always saw him as her older brother, not as a man she loved romantically. So if we’re talking about eternal yearning for each other, that narrative clearly doesn’t fit them.
Moreover, what Tong Hua wrote on Weibo was about character prototypes—early inspirations before the final story took shape. The tragic story of Madam Hu inspired the creation of Cang Xuan and his mother. The Western Poison Ouyang Feng from Mount Baituo inspired the characters of Jing, Hou, and Yiying. And as a contrast to Madam Hu, there was also Madam Wu Xuanshuang, who chose to go on living, despite the depth of her love.After her lover died.
Tong Hua wrote: "Eternally Yearning for Each Other" — A mutual love that cannot be together, yet cannot be forgotten. "You were once here, you have left. Even though it's hard for me to stop missing you, I will still smile when I see a beautiful rainbow."
These words clearly do not describe the relationship between Cang Xuan and Xiao Yao. I know you're a Yaojing—a person who has never acknowledged that Xiao Yao and Xiang Liu truly loved each other. But if we’re really talking about eternally yearning for each other—a mutual love that cannot be together yet cannot be forgotten—then this is not about love that triumphs or ends in togetherness. It is about a love that must be let go, even if it never truly disappears from the heart.
And precisely because of that, the meaning doesn't fit the Yaojing narrative either—because no matter how you look at it, Tu Shanjing didn’t die. In the end, he remained with Xiao Yao.She never truly lost Tu Shanjing forever.
Honestly when I meet fans of LYF, they often don't like it when I say: "I love that XY chose TSJ in the end. Although…
Personally, I have no issue with whoever ends up with Xiaoyao.That choice belongs to the narrative and the character’s journey. What I do take issue with, however, is the claim often made by some fans—that Tu Shanjing is Xiaoyao’s one and only true love, that from beginning to end she only ever loved him, and that Xiaoyao and Xiangliu shared no romantic feelings at all. Some even insist that the "BUG Lovers" was merely a symbol of friendship and nothing more.
I find these interpretations overly simplistic and dismissive of the emotional depth portrayed in the story. So please, don’t blame those of us who write extensively just to show that this so-called “absolute truth” is, in fact, highly debatable.
I’ve never denied that Xiaoyao had feelings for Tu Shanjing. She clearly cared for him. After all, he matched nearly all of her ideal traits in a partner—Jing is someone she can control—a person who constantly evokes her pity and makes her feel emotionally close. He’s a companion who would never abandon her, a kind partner who treats her well and tolerates her throughout her life, someone who would never oppose her brother, and a dependent figure who could compensate for the absence of maternal love in her life. But I believe that Xiaoyao’s true love was Xiangliu. Her love for xiangliu, in my view, went a level deeper—raw, unspoken, and soul-stirring in a way her love for Tu Shanjing never was.
What she felt for Tu Shanjing may not have been the kind of romantic love that threatens the "Bug Lovers"into "Heartbreak Bug", but rather a bond built on comfort, familiarity, and shared experiences. That doesn’t make it any less real—it simply makes it different. Many relationships in real life begin this way: two people connect because they feel lonely, they enjoy each other’s company, and they grow closer over time. They may not start off madly in love, but they form a deep attachment. Still, this isn’t always the kind of love that shakes the soul.
With Xiangliu, on the other hand, there was something else—an emotional resonance that was never fully spoken, yet always present. He was never officially hers, yet his presence lingered in the deepest corners of her heart. His sacrifices cut deeper, and their parting was more painful. That kind of love, though never fully realized, leaves a lasting mark—perhaps even more so because it remained unfinished.
As Tong Hua herself said, "While love can be soul-stirring, it is not everything in life.
Family bonds, friendships, ideals, responsibilities... people have all kinds of connections in this world, and many blessings and forms of happiness do not come from romantic love.
Eternal yearning between two people exists because the love is so deep, because it cannot be possessed, and because it cannot be forgotten."
So the question isn’t merely who ends up with Xiaoyao. The real question is: who truly moved her soul? And in my eyes, the answer is Xiangliu.
If some fans are so sure of their interpretation, then surely they can respect the fact that others may see it differently. This isn’t about shipping wars—it’s about honoring the complexity of a story that was never meant to be one-dimensional.
You are not alone on that thought. I too think that both Jing and XL are special to XY. She loved them both but…
If what we refer to as “hidden line for other dynamics, then these might be some of the clearest examples. First, when Tu Shanjing himself admits that he has been taking advantage of Xiaoyao’s kindness and gentleness. This confession not only reveals a layer of emotional manipulation, but also confirms that their relationship was never truly equal from the beginning. Another compelling example appears in the scene where they try to escape from Cang Xuan. In the novel, this situation isn’t described in much detail. However, in the drama adaptation, a striking contrast is shown: Tu Shanjing passionately tells Xiaoyao that he is Tu Shanjing and that he will give her everything, yet at the same time, he tells Cang Xuan that he is Ye Shiqi and that his actions have nothing to do with the Tushan family. In the end, both he and Xiaoyao are captured, and she loses her chance to escape—a tragic turning point filled with meaning. There are also symbolic visual details in the drama that often go unnoticed. One of the most telling is Tu Shanjing’s limp. Many viewers have pointed out that in some scenes, he walks normally when he’s not with Xiaoyao, but whenever he faces her, his limp returns. Sadly, I didn’t pay much attention to it myself—what a pity. Though it might seem like a small detail, this element actually implies a deeper narrative: his limp is not merely physical, but also emotional and strategic—performed deliberately to evoke Xiaoyao’s sympathy and pity.
You are not alone on that thought. I too think that both Jing and XL are special to XY. She loved them both but…
In my opinion, the connection between Xiaoyao and Xiangliu, marked by their red clothing, is far from coincidental. In the original novel, this was subtly implied through Ah Nian’s words, where she describes Xiaoyao as resembling a fisherman's daughter waiting for her lover to return. In the drama adaptation, it becomes even more explicit that the “lover” she’s waiting for is Xiangliu.
There’s also a particularly symbolic visual scene: Xiangliu’s reflection appears in Xiaoyao’s eyes, while Xiaoyao’s reflection appears in Tu Shanjing’s. This directly echoes the moment in the novel when Jing says, “In your eyes, there has never been me.” It’s a painful admission that reinforces where Xiaoyao’s true feelings lie.
Moreover, when Tu Shanjing returns from the dead, the outfit he wears closely resembles the one worn by Fangfeng Bei. This further strengthens the recurring theme of substitution or replacement in the story.
I’ve read numerous analyses that point out how the novel is rich with substitution literature.
Recently, I also came across a screenshot of Tong Hua’s comment on a fan-written article by a YaoLiu supporter on Weibo—an article that analyzed the flowers in the novel.
Personally, I don’t believe Tong Hua would have left a comment on something she considered meaningless. So for those who continue to insist there is no hidden narrative between Xiaoyao and Xiangliu, I honestly have nothing more to say. The literary and symbolic evidence embedded in this story is simply too strong to ignore.
[By chance, I came across a post—an analysis of the flowers in Chang Xiang Si (Lost You Forever). When I wrote it, I never expected anyone to notice. The feeling I had while writing the story was like the snake-eye shinan flower blooming on the edge of a cliff—blossoming for itself, seen by itself. But someone noticed it, and naturally, the flower took on a different color. One writes, one reads—separated by three years of gently flowing time. With that single reading, the writing also gained added meaning in memory. Thank you!]
Another reminder from Tong Hua herself of the themes of LYF and insights into the characters and events. The stories…
The author's perspective on love is very clear. Tong Hua believes that love is not everything. In a conversation between Cang Xuan and Xiaoyao, she writes, "Never love a woman who is willing to abandon her child and die for love." This line firmly rejects the kind of love that blinds a person and causes them to neglect their responsibilities—just like the case of Tu Shanjing abandoning his nephew at the end of the story.
Tong Hua also seems to present a rather negative view of Tu Shanjing’s character. She uses many explicit compliments, but they are laced with subtle criticisms in the way she portrays him. In my opinion, Tu Shanjing represents the kind of person in real life who lacks a strong sense of self, has no clear direction in life, and is willing to die for love. His emotional dependence on Xiaoyao is a clear example of unhealthy love—certainly not something that should be idealized.
However, due to his status as the Young Master of Qingqiu and the gentle image he projects, there are still people who are drawn to this couple (CP). But if we truly understand the moral message conveyed in Lost You Forever, relationships built on emotional dependence and subtle manipulation should be questioned—not celebrated.
And you’re right—if not for Tushan Hou’s devious schemes, Tu Shanjing and Fangfeng Yiying might actually have made a good couple. In the novel, when Tu Shanjing proposes to Xiaoyao, it is clearly stated that before he was trapped by Tushan Hou, the bride chosen for him by his mother already met all of Tu Shanjing’s criteria.
When we talk about Tu Shanjing, it's easy to see him as kind, gentle, caring, and devoted. But in truth, these traits aren't as pure as they may seem. His kindness comes with conditions—he gives only to gain something in return. Everything he does is ultimately aimed at possessing Xiaoyao, earning her compassion, sympathy, and emotional attention. His love is not rooted in selflessness, but in a deep need to be validated and redeemed through her.
From an outsider’s perspective, Tu Shanjing appears pitiful and deeply self-effacing. His relationship with Xiaoyao is far from equal — he does everything she likes and becomes the person she wants, but he can never be his true self. He can only be Ye Shiqi, the version of himself that Xiaoyao can control. By showing weakness, he softens her heart and slowly conquers and possesses her, drawing her sympathy, pity, and emotional value. As a man wounded by his elder brother, Tu Shanjing's sense of self-worth relies entirely on Xiaoyao for redemption. Xiaoyao likes to be in control of those who are weaker and to hold the upper hand in love. Her relationships are not equal in status, so Jing shows weakness and pretends to be someone fragile — but in truth, he is not that person at all. If you wear a false mask in front of the one you love for too long, can you really play the role of the man Xiaoyao needs for a lifetime? The lifespan of gods is incredibly long, and love without dignity is a dangerous thing. How many people can spend their entire lives playing the role someone else desires, just to be loved?
It may seem like Xiaoyao holds the power in their relationship, but in reality, it’s Tu Shanjing who subtly manipulates her psychology. His leg could have been healed, but he chooses to remain crippled just to gain her sympathy and bind her to him through compassion. He comes across as emotionally fragile and psychologically unbalanced — someone who never truly rebuilds his own identity.
He’s skilled in business, yet he never teaches Xiaoyao to be independent or introduces her to the world of commerce. His intelligence and strategies are sharp enough to manipulate anyone — including Xiaoyao. People around her have repeatedly warned that the foxes of the Tushan family are full of schemes, but she still refuses to listen
His sacrifices aren’t entirely selfless either—they’re part of his strategy for survival. Without Xiaoyao’s love, he feels worthless, even to the point of being willing to die if she doesn’t love him back. Imagine being loved by someone who is so emotionally dependent that they would take their own life if you rejected them—is that really love, or is it manipulation?
There are people who love you maturely: even if they can’t be with you, they still want what’s best for you. And then there are those who love in a way that’s obsessive, who want to own you completely, and will go to extreme lengths to stay in your life. If you look closer, this kind of love often falls under emotional blackmail—where the affection is conditional and rooted in control. is Tu Shanjing one of these people? Does his love come from strength and sincerity, or from emotional instability and psychological manipulation?
You be the judge.
In my opinion, emotional blackmail can take many forms, but there are four that stand out to me the most.
First is the self-victimizing type—the kind of person who uses threats of self-harm or suicide to manipulate others. They don’t express pain to seek help, but to control.
Second is the aggressive type, who prefers direct threats and forces people to act out of fear. Their love is conditional, and they use consequences to keep others in line.
Third is the pitiful or tragic type. They constantly appear fragile, helpless, or miserable, just to win sympathy. I think this is one of the most subtle and dangerous forms because it often disguises itself as innocence.
And finally, there’s the seductive type. They lure others in with grand promises and future dreams that never come true. It’s all about feeding someone’s hope just to keep them emotionally invested.
To me, all four are manipulative in different ways, and it’s important to recognize these patterns—especially in relationships that claim to be built on love.
Unfortunately, this love story is built on two individuals who both lack a complete and independent sense of self—a man scarred by past trauma, trapped in a yandere-like persona, and a woman still entangled in childhood wounds and a deep longing for affection. Their bond may seem strong on the surface, but in reality, they serve as emotional crutches for each other. As a result, their love becomes unhealthy—emotionally dependent, distorted, and far from balanced. Even by the end of the story, neither of them has truly healed. They both still have a long way to grow.
it is not surprising that Tong Hua stated the female protagonist’s choices were rooted in her psychological deficiencies. This aligns with how her decisions consistently stem from emotional wounds and inner emptiness formed during her childhood and adolescence — what modern psychology refers to as the influence of one’s family of origin
Sometimes I wonder, will Xiaoyao eventually realize that she’s been emotionally confined by Tu Shanjing’s love? Will she one day fight back and break free from that invisible cage? Tong Hua’s tale of the fox and the snake feels like a subtle satire—rich with symbolism and hidden irony.
When we talk about healthy love—the kind that leads to growth or healing—this is definitely not what it looks like to me.
In my opinion, it would be much more meaningful if Tu Shanjing could heal from his past trauma on his own, go through a genuine journey of self-recovery, and rebuild his identity and confidence. Only then, if he chooses to be with Xiaoyao out of true love and not emotional dependence, their relationship would represent real healing.
It would make his character much stronger if he were portrayed as someone who has love, strength, emotional maturity, and keeps his promises, but also someone who has his own thoughts, values, and life goals—not just someone who exists to fulfill Xiaoyao’s needs. He should have his own interests, dreams, and passions—someone who shares life with her, not revolves around her.
To me, a healthy relationship isn’t about one person constantly accommodating the other. It’s about mutual respect, emotional balance, personal growth, and healing together. If Tu Shanjing and Xiaoyao could become emotionally and mentally equal partners, their love story would feel much more authentic and compelling.
True growth for Xiaoyao begins when she finally heals the wounds of her childhood, reflects on everything she’s been through, and starts to recognize the subtle signs of feelings she may have ignored. Could it really be that she never realized the mutual love that existed between her and Xiang Liu? Perhaps, deep down, she knew—but didn’t have the courage to face her own heart.
When she is finally brave enough to acknowledge her deepest emotions, to understand that love doesn’t always mean being together, and to see that Xiang Liu loved her silently—sacrificing everything, even his own life—that is the moment she truly matures. She knows that Xiang Liu loved her. His departure wasn’t without traces—he left behind his blood, the sea map, and the archery skills that helped her become a stronger version of herself.
True love doesn’t always mean possession. Sometimes, it simply means never fading from one’s heart. From that moment on, Xiang Liu’s presence will always be a part of her. She will live her life well, carrying the blessings and love he left behind. Whether she eventually finds someone to walk beside her, or chooses to live on her own—it won’t matter. What matters is that she lives as her true self: free, whole, and with that love quietly kept in her heart.
Honestly, I don’t believe that two people who are both mentally and emotionally broken can truly save each other just by clinging to one another for warmth. I’m also skeptical about the idea that their secluded life after retreating from the world would bring them genuine peace or happiness. When Xiaoyao is with Tu Shanjing, I feel like her spirit and vitality are slowly drained. The vibrant, lively Xiaoliu that once brought so much energy seems to fade away. Later in the story, it becomes clear that her depressive state worsens—after enduring so many blows and heartbreaks, she loses hope, even to the point of contemplating suicide.
To me, Xiaoyao also shows clear self-destructive tendencies. The people she trusted the most betrayed her, and the one she loved the most remained out of reach. When Ye Shiqi—the man who once represented a peaceful, stable life—suddenly returns, it feels like her last thread of hope, as if she has no real choice left.
I’ve always believed that if someone can’t save themselves from suffering, and instead places all their hopes on another person, that hope will eventually collapse. I truly believe that heaven helps those who help themselves. And in the end, only when Xiaoyao finds the strength to stand on her own and grow as a whole person, can this story be called a true happy ending.
I once heard that the final chapter of the novel references a poem by Tao Yuanming from the Wei and Jin dynasties. In the end, she followed her heart and returned to the home Xiang Liu had prepared for her—the sea.Maybe this is the moment where Xiaoyao's true growth begins.
Perhaps I’ll include the interview with Tong Hua—eloquently rendered into English by Lidi. My thanks to Lidi for the excellent work.
[ "Although I write romance stories, but my understanding of love has always been to first be the best version of yourself before moving on to feelings. One of the cornerstones of love is equality, and equality is built on a woman's independence and self-empowerment. ... My view is that love can make life very beautiful, but it is not the only thing in life. Women should first live their own lives well. Only a woman with financial and mental independence can embrace love calmly."
When I was writing the novel,it was told from a relatively singular perspective —about 70 to 80 percent of the story was developed from the female protagonist’s point of view.For the other characters,I would give it some thought.As I often say,we might imagine something at a level of 10,but when we actually write it down,it may come out as only a 3.And due to the limitations of written expression,what truly gets across to the readers might end up being only a 1.
Lost You Forever is told from the female lead’s perspective.When I first took on the job of writing the screenplay,I was a bit resistant,because many seniors had told me that after writing scripts,you might lose a lot of the sensitivity and feelings you gain from writing novels.They said that scripts and novels are two completely different styles of writing.But due to various coincidences at the time,I had to take on the task myself.When I truly started writing the script —writing one part and leaving nine unwritten,making sure the drama followed the novel faithfully —I actually felt very grateful for taking on this job.Because it gave me another opportunity to step back into the world of Lost You Forever.
Also, because the creative process for screenwriting is different,it requires more of an omniscient perspective.You stand beside each character,feel what they feel,rather than staying biased toward the female lead's point of view, like in the novel.
So when I was working on the script,I brought out all the hidden clues that hadn’t been written into the novel.For me,it was like living another life with all these characters again,entering their world and experiencing it with them.
Although it was really hard at the time —since it was also my first time writing a script —I was learning as I went.Back then, I also watched a lot of classic and well-known dramas to study the creative methods of the senior writers.But I personally feel —it was all very much worth it.
"Next time, let’s go play in the ocean. The seabed is so beautiful, you could play all night and never get tired of it."
First of all, why would she suddenly think about playing in the ocean during a date?
Because the one in her heart was Xiangliu, of course.
Then how would Jing feel upon hearing that?
You can't even stay underwater for long without needing to breathe — how could you possibly 'play all night'?
And then, because she was thinking of Xiangliu, she pulled Jing into the water and wouldn’t let him come up.
When Jing could no longer breathe, she gave him air through mouth-to-mouth.
At that moment, Jing completely understood why she said she could play all night —
because that’s exactly how Xiangliu used to pass her air.
So came the line:
“Jing, relying on a single breath, forced himself to surface.”
“Just now, there was no me in your eyes.”
------------------------VS----------------------
A forehead kiss by Mr.Xiangliu
[She stared at Xiangliu. The man before her was clearly that roguish wanderer, yet just as she was about to be confused, a strand of white hair fell from beneath his hood, reminding her of who he truly was. Xiaoyao gently touched his white hair and said, "This place is not safe to linger. Once we’ve paid our respects to our old friend, let’s leave."
Because she had just cried, Xiaoyao’s eyes were exceptionally clear. Xiangliu could clearly see his own reflection within her bright eyes. He reached out, brushed over them, and gently closed her eyes. "I’m leaving."
Xiaoyao only felt a soft, cool sensation touch her forehead—just a light brush—and then it vanished instantly. She suddenly covered her forehead with her hand, opened her eyes to look around, but there was no one left before her.]
In Dream of the Red Chamber (Hong Lou Meng), there is an artistic technique known as “one voice, two songs; one hand, two letters,” a term summarized by people during the Qing dynasty. It means that one voice can sing two songs, and one hand can write two letters — also referred to as “one strike, two sounds; one stone, three birds.” In short, it's a method of writing where a single action carries multiple meanings.
In Lost You Forever (Chang Xiang Si), in order to keep us guessing and to ensure that no matter which character we support, it still makes sense, the author uses this technique extensively.
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For example, Xiaoyao used hibiscus leaves to wash Jing’s hair in Caoaoling.
Those who see Yaojing say it was very warm and the two got along well.
Those who see Yaoliu would definitely say that something was wrong.
Fangfeng Bei wanted to dye his hair.
He dyed his hair using herbs, and hibiscus leaves can be used to dye hair.
That day, while practicing archery, Xiaoyao was half-embracing him — so close that she could smell his hair.She was drawn to the scent and secretly thought of Fangfeng Bei.
If not, then why didn’t she use soapberries, the ones commonly used in Qingshui City, to wash Jing’s hair?
Xiaoyao and Tushanjing wanted to play something in the room, but it turned out Xiaoyao’s room was filled with poison and nothing else.
“So, paint a few portraits for me,” she said. “I want lotus flowers and butterflies. I once wanted to create poisonous butterflies, but I wasn’t good at drawing.”
Yaojing said, “Look, they’re so sweet.”
Yaoliu responded, “No.”
Because the lotus represents Xiangliu, and the butterfly represents Xiaoyao.
Even in the drama adaptation, Xiaoyao wears butterfly- accessories on her head
Xiaoyao saw Jing standing up and casually untying the crown that bound his hair. His head was covered with fine black hair falling down on his back and drifting away in the sea breeze like the Milky Way flowing down from the nineth level of Heaven.
Xiaoyao’s heart pounded like a lost little deer.
Yaojing supporters say it was because of Tushanjing. But Yaoliu supporters disagree — Don’t you know what color the Milky Way is? The Milky Way is silver-white.
What truly left an impression on Xiaoyao and made her heart race was the imagery — hair flowing in the wind like the Milky Way descending from the heavens.
This kind of “one pen, two meanings” technique appears all over the novel.
yaojing will say, “Wow, that’s so sweet!”
But yaoliu will respond, “Did you even read the book properly?”
Then the yaojing will insist, “Isn’t it written clearly in black and white?”
While the yaoliu will say, “It’s full of irony! You need to read more carefully.”
But Yaojing said: Xiaoyao told Xinyue that she and Tu Shanjing had feelings for each other.
Lover’s Gu vs Heaven’s Mouth in the drama adaptation.
Xiaoyao:
不是他对我有意
It’s not that he has feelings for me,
是我们互相有意
it’s that we have feelings for each other,
两情相悦
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Gu Lover's :
求的是一心一意
永不相负
What is desired is wholehearted devotion and never betraying each other.
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"The truth is hidden, the lie is upheld."
Which one will you trust — your mouth or your heart?
"Full of absurd words"— Cao Xueqin, Dream of the Red Chamber.
黄帝突然不满的说:“中原风俗最讨厌,守丧有何意义?若心里真存了亡者,世人不让守,也自会惦念一辈子。若心里无亡者,就算守了一年、三年又如何?还不是人前哀戚,人后作乐?在这些事情上,西北的氏族要比你们看得通透,亡夫去,只要小寡妇乐意,就是坟头土未干,都可以再洞房花烛,所以部落里多的是早上喝丧酒,晚上喝喜酒的事。”
小天一口酸梅汤笑喷了出来:“外爷,你可真是越活越回去了!人说老小孩老小孩,如今我算是信了!”
The Yellow Emperor suddenly spoke in dissatisfaction:
“The customs of the Central Plains are the most annoying. What’s the point of mourning? If someone truly holds the deceased in their heart, even if society forbids them from mourning, they will still remember that person for a lifetime. But if there’s no one in their heart, what’s the use of mourning for a year or even three? Isn’t it just grief in front of others, and joy behind their backs?”
“When it comes to matters like this, the tribes in the Northwest see things far more clearly than you do. If a young widow is willing, even if the grave soil hasn’t dried yet, she can still marry again. That’s why it’s common in the tribes for people to drink mourning wine in the morning, and wedding wine in the evening.”
Xiaoyao burst out laughing and spat out her sour plum drink:
“Grandpa, you really are becoming more and more childish as you age! They say old people become like children again—now I finally believe it!”
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【If someone truly holds the deceased in their heart, even if society forbids them from mourning, they will still remember that person for a lifetime."】
— This line corresponds to what happens after Xiang Liu's death: the "young widow" is not allowed to publicly mourn her late husband and marries someone else right away (as shown in the modified drama version), but deep in her heart, she remembers Xiang Liu for the rest of her life.
【"If there is no one in the heart, then even mourning for one year or three years—what does it matter? It’s just putting on an act of sorrow in front of others, while enjoying life behind their backs."】
— This line refers to the moment when Tu Shanjing ‘dies’, and Xiao Yao acts devastated in public, pretending to grieve deeply, even wanting to die with him. But in private, once she encounters the great whirlpool and sees Xiang Liu, she immediately clings to him, desperately trying to get close and intimate.
The question is: Tu Shanjing had "just died," and Xiao Yao was already enjoying herself behind the scenes—would this make Tu Shanjing feel disappointed or sad?
———The answer is: No!
The leaked script:
Tu Shanjing: "You're worried that if I don't go after her, she'll end up with someone else?"
△ The little fox spirit nodded immediately, but Tu Shanjing just stared out the window without moving.
Tu Shanjing: "Years ago, just because I wanted to be with Xiaoliu, I took advantage of her soft heart. Between me and Xiang Liu, I never gave her the chance to choose. But in the end… I still couldn’t give her happiness. Now... I want to return that right to choose back to her—that’s a debt I owe her."
△ The little fox spirit fell silent, gazing sadly at Tu Shanjing, who looked like he was in pain.
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Tu Shanjing knew from the very beginning that Xiao Yao liked Xiang Liu—and only Xiang Liu. But precisely because of that, he took advantage of Xiao Yao’s illness to make a "fifteen-year promise" and held onto it tightly, refusing to let go.
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Drama adaptation about 'Lover's Gu:
"What is desired is sincere and faithful love —a love that never betrays."
(This is a rebuttal to those who claim: “The novel never clearly states that a person can’t love more than one person at the same time. The Lover Gu (情人蛊) allows for ‘divided affections.’ As long as Xiao Yao still has some love for Xiang Liu, it’s fine if she also loves Jing and her cousin—she wouldn’t be harmed or die from a Gu backlash...”)
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Drama adaptation: [One male and one female, with equal power]
(This is to refute the claim that: “The one who loves more deeply controls the Gu; Xiang Liu used his spiritual power to control the female Gu inside Xiao Yao...”)
----------------
Drama adaptation : [If one person dies, the other will definitely die as well]
The leaked script says:
Empress Dowager (Wang Mu): Xiao Yao and Xiang Liu share a life-binding Gu — if one dies, the other is sure to die as well.
(This is a rebuttal to the claim: “The two of them, like her cousin, were only affected by a fake Gu, a one-sided bond. If Xiang Liu died, Xiao Yao wouldn’t die—Xiang Liu was just overly emotional and sacrificed himself for no real reason.This also answers Xiao Yao’s question to Xiang Liu when she asked:
“If I die, can you go on living?”)
Just look at how far some of these so-called "novel fans" have twisted the meaning of the Lover Gu... Tong Hua had clearly had enough and refuted all of it, one by one, in the drama version. Now let’s see if there’s still any room left for them to twist the facts!
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Drama adaptation — Xiaoyao says to Tu Shanjing, who has been pretending to be dead for 37 years:
Xiaoyao:
"I'm someone
who wouldn't even trust
myself."
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Xiao Yao is a performance artist who deceives both herself and others,
and a fan of substitute romance literature.
Leaked script:
Xiang Liu: “Fool! The Lover's Gu that binds life and heart—do you think it can be planted so casually?
‘The wutong trees on earth grow old together,
The Peng birds in the sky never fly alone,
And the mandarin ducks in the water will die in pairs.’
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Original novel text :
[Jing cared deeply—every time the attempt to break the Gu failed, his disappointment was always evident and hard to hide.
Xiaoyao smiled brightly and comforted him:
“The so-called heart connection isn’t actually that intimate. In reality, only Xiang Liu can feel some of my pain. I can’t feel anything from him at all. So it doesn’t really count as a heart-to-heart connection.”
In truth, what Jing was concerned about wasn’t the “emotional link” between Xiaoyao and Xiang Liu, but the life connection between them. But this uneasiness was something he couldn’t bring himself to tell Xiaoyao, so he could only let her continue to misunderstand the reason behind his concern.]
------------------------------------------
Xiaoyao even misunderstood, thinking that Tu Shanjing was upset about the “heart-connected” bond between her and Xiang Liu. She even tried to comfort him by saying that the connection wasn’t that intimate. But all of that was just Xiaoyao overthinking and being overly sensitive.
In truth, Tu Shanjing didn’t care who Xiaoyao loved or who she was emotionally connected to. What he cared about was her life. Xiaoyao could not leave him—without her, he couldn’t survive.
At first, Tu Shanjing wanted Xiao Yao’s love.But after the 37 years spent beneath the sea, when he lost her,he lowered his expectations.
[Actually, I know you can live just fine without me, and I know Fangfeng Bei is a better match for you, but I just can't let go. As long as I’m alive, it’s impossible! I’m sorry, I’m sorry]
Cr: Finallyand
Traditional Social Structure: The Four Classes
In ancient Chinese society (such as during the Han, Tang, and Song dynasties), there was a recognized system of “Four Social Classes” (士农工商):
士 (Shi) – Scholars / officials / aristocrats
农 (Nong) – Farmers
工 (Gong) – Artisans
商 (Shang) – Merchants
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Merchants were placed at the very bottom of the hierarchy, even though they could be extremely wealthy.
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Money ≠ Honor
In many traditional societies:
Wealth did not automatically equate to high social status.
Social status was inherited through noble bloodlines, official positions, or scholarly achievement—not through trade.
Merchants often had to bribe or purchase titles in order to elevate their status (this is commonly portrayed in many historical dramas).Because merchants were often wealthier than nobles, rulers saw them as a political threat.
To limit their power, the government prohibited merchants from holding official positions or freely purchasing land.
This prevented them from rising in status through wealth alone.
So,Merchants ≠ Nobles
最好的年华，总在不懂得珍惜前就已消逝；最深爱的人，却在来不及用心前悄然远离。
The best years always fade away before we learn to cherish them; the one we love the most quietly drifts away before we have a chance to truly care.
在等待中错过，在失去时追悔，却不知失去的便不再有，错过的就再也无法找回。
We miss out while waiting, regret only after losing, not realizing that what’s lost will never return, and what’s missed can never be recovered.
对的人与爱的人又该如何选择，
How should we choose between the right person and the one we love?
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This is the electronic edition introduction of the 2013 edition of the book.
Those who don’t believe that Xiaoyao and Xiangliu loved each other say that this is a story about Xiaoyao choosing between the one she loves (Jing) and the right person (Fenglong)
"When I write novels,
I use a relatively simple narrative perspective.
About 70% to 80% of the story is told from the female protagonist’s point of view.
So even when we imagine 10 full points in our minds,
we might only be able to express 3 in writing.
And due to the limitations of written language,
what actually reaches the readers—
especially those who only read the black and white text—
might end up being just 1 point."
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The overall meaning of this quote is that Tong Hua is explaining the wide gap between a writer’s imagination and a reader’s understanding. Even if the writer holds many layers of meaning in their mind, what actually reaches the reader can be very limited—especially if the reader only looks at the surface of the text.
Therefore, Tong Hua gave a hint in the preface of the 2019 digital edition, saying that all of this is merely a 'snake in the grass, a line in the dust'—stretching for thousands of miles. Is what we see with the naked eye truly the truth?
Author: Television Arts – August 8, 21:02
On August 8, a seminar for the web drama Lost You Forever, hosted by the China Television Arts Committee, was held in Beijing. Attending the event were representatives from the Literature and Arts Bureau of the Central Propaganda Department, the International Cooperation Department of the National Radio and Television Administration, and the Guangdong Provincial Radio and Television Bureau. The seminar was moderated by Yi Kai, Secretary-General of the China Television Arts Committee.
Tong Hua, the original author of the novel and screenwriter of the drama, shared her experience in writing both the novel and the script adaptation. During the process of adapting Lost You Forever into a screenplay, she abandoned the novel’s single-point perspective and instead used a third-person narrative to reframe hidden clues and reconstruct the worldview within the story. She expressed that the process of transforming black-and-white words into a colorful world for the audience was an exciting and rewarding journey.
Qin Zhen, the drama’s chief director, gave an in-depth presentation about the creative process, including character development, cinematographic language, art direction, and post-production. She said that from the very beginning, she was drawn to the core emotional themes and the grand setting of the story. To bring this delicate and warm fantasy world to life, the production team spent 15 months in preparation, ultimately completing a new-style historical costume drama that blends emotional exploration and destiny choices with a realistic approach.
Zheng Chen, the drama’s art director, also shared insights into the visual design. He explained that the drama’s aesthetics are rooted in traditional Chinese art, and the construction of its visual world began at the script development stage. To represent the four vastly different regions—Xiyan, Chenrong, Haoling, and Qing Shui Town—the team incorporated bronze decorative patterns from ancient Chinese culture and elements from Jiangnan, specifically the Wu and Yue regions. He described it as a challenging yet highly rewarding creative experience.]
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since the novel features two parallel storylines—a light line and a dark line—it wasn’t feasible to present both simultaneously in the drama due to censorship constraints.
As a result, the actors portray the light storyline, which is the Yaojing arc, while the dark storyline, the Yaoliu arc, is conveyed through elements like props, costumes, visual art, and cinematography.
The Yaoliu dark line was intentionally left for novel readers to explore in depth. For viewers who haven't read the novel, following the main Yaojing arc is enough—there's no need to get too caught up in the hidden dark storyline.
[##Lovers Bug = the proof of love??? lol
This is where your whole argument collapses.
You talk about understanding the bug, but keep twisting its meaning to fit your shipping agenda. The Lovers Bug proves one-sided devotion,, not mutual love. The bug can turn into a Heartbreak Bug if love is not returned. That’s canon said in the drama and book. And that’s exactly what happened Xiang Liu loved Xiaoyao, silently, without confession, and the bug became a burden]
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The original text says:
巫王咳嗽了一声,郑重地说:“情人蛊,顾名思义有一对雌雄蛊虫,中蛊的男女命脉相连、心意相通,一人痛,另一人也会痛,一人伤,另一人也会伤。
The Witch King coughed, then spoke solemnly,
“The Lover’s Gu, as the name suggests, consists of a pair of male and female Gu insects. The man and woman afflicted by this Gu will have their lives and hearts linked—if one feels pain, so does the other; if one is injured, the other feels it too.”
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孤阳不生,独阴不长,万物有利一面,则必有害一面,利越大,害就越大,情人蛊亦是如此。它能让有情人心意相通、命脉相连,可情人蛊就像相恋的恋人,脾气多变,非常难驾驭,蛊虫极易反噬,一旦发作,两人俱亡,所以情人蛊还有个名字,叫断肠蛊
"Yang cannot grow alone, and Yin cannot thrive on its own. Everything in this world that has a beneficial side also carries a harmful one. The greater the benefit, the greater the risk. Qingren Gu (Lover’s Gu) is no exception.This Gu allows a pair of lovers to share one heart and have their life forces intertwined. "However, the Qingren Gu(Lover's Gu) is like a pair of lovers falling in love—emotional, unpredictable, and extremely difficult to control.The Gu is highly prone to turning against its host. Once it erupts, both will perish. That’s why Qingren Gu(Lover's Gu)also has another name: Duanchang Gu—the Heartbreak Gu."
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有情人养情人蛊,断肠人成断肠蛊”,情人蛊和其他蛊都不同,必须要一对情人心甘情愿,才能种蛊,他若不是你的情郎,你怎么可能给他种下情人蛊?”
"The Lover’s Gu is different from other types of Gu. It requires a pair of lovers who are truly willing and wholehearted—only then can the Gu be planted."If he is not your lover, how could you plant a lover's Gu on him?"
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巫王悚然变色:“难道你的蛊不是种给这位公子?"
“不是。”
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"The Witch King's face changed color in shock and fear.Could it be that your Gu wasn’t planted in this young master?
Xiaoyao: NO !
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Logically,If you planted a Lover’s Gu in someone first, but then fell in love with someone else… should you even be allowed to live?"
Because the effect of the Lover's Gu is immediate — "both die." Looking back at the Witch King's reaction, what is the reason the Lover's Gu is so prone to biting back? It's simply a change of heart. Death signifies a backlash, and that backlash comes from a change of heart. If you don’t die, it means you haven’t changed your heart.
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The original text says:
巫王心中百般不解,可小天的情郎明显是她身边的这位公子,有些话不好再说,只得敷衍道:“姑娘教训的是,姑娘体内的蛊虫的确不同于一般的蛊虫, 想来姑娘和那人都有特异之处。”
The Witch King was filled with confusion, but it was clear that Xiaotian’s lover was the young man beside her. Some things were inappropriate to say aloud, so he could only respond vaguely:
“You are right, Miss. The Gu worm in your body is indeed different from ordinary ones. It seems both you and that man possess unique qualities.”
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In the drama adaptation, it becomes even clearer: "one heart and never betray each other."
Bruh, I can't—I'm screaming!😆
Unbeknownst to them, the clothes they wore were actually matching outfits once worn by Aheng and Chichen.
"Xiaoyao seemed to see her father, dressed in red, and her mother, in a green gown, standing side by side.
Her father looked just as strong and agile as she remembered, and her mother just as graceful and pure as before her injury.
They leaned into each other and smiled at her."
However, Xiaoyao calmly refused, saying that she didn’t want to rush into marriage.
After Xiaoyao's true identity was revealed—that she was the daughter of Chiyou—she and Tu Shanjing went to meet her parents and untangle the emotional knots of the past. During that meeting, Aheng asked:
“Are there really no others who have treated you well? Why does it have to be him?”
Xiaoyao answered:
“Because he’s the only one who would never leave me.”
Aheng then shared the story of her past with Chiyou.
She said:
“Behind him stood Shennong, and behind me stood Xuanyuan.
He couldn’t leave Shennong, and I couldn’t leave Xuanyuan.
So, the only path left for us was to fight each other to the death on the battlefield.”
Afterward, Xiaoyao and Tu Shanjing traveled to Jiuli, where Xiaoyao learned about the "Bug Lover" from the Shaman King.
Upon returning from Jiuli, Xiaoyao went to the sea and said she wanted to stay there for a day. Standing at the shore, she was overwhelmed by a powerful urge to jump—as if she wished to let everything go—but she held herself back. She was battling herself, torn between logic and emotion.
That was when Xiangliu appeared. They listened together to the mermaid’s song, and Xiaoyao’s heart felt deeply connected to Xiangliu’s. They spoke about the Bug Lover, but Xiangliu eventually left. Xiaoyao nearly ran after him—but Tu Shanjing stopped her and said:
“You are not allowed to become someone else’s wife.”
Shortly after, Tu Shanjing proposed to Xiaoyao. He had already made all the preparations and was impatient to marry her. When Huangdi, Xiaoyao’s grandfather, asked about the wedding date, Xiaoyao replied that she wanted to complete her medical studies first.
Huangdi looked at her and said:
“This isn’t a matter of two or three years. Are you truly sure?”
Then he sighed and gently added:
“Xiaoyao… I’ve always said you’re not like your mother. But in truth, you are very much like her.”
Xiaoyao immediately frowned and replied firmly:
“I am NOT like her!”
If what Huangdi meant was that Xiaoyao resembled Aheng in her passion for medicine, then Xiaoyao would have had no reason to reject the comparison. She had already reconciled with her mother; there was no longer any hatred.
But the answer was already clear.
Huangdi knew who truly lived in Xiaoyao’s heart.And Xiaoyao understood the deeper meaning behind her grandfather’s words.
It wasn’t about her profession or her studies in medicine.But......
Even when she was engaged to Fenglong, Fenglong said this when they arrived in Chishui:
“If you want to study medicine, you can continue learning. Even if you want to practice as a doctor in the future, I will fully support you.” (Episode 2-14: Chasing the past only brings me pain)
So then, why couldn’t I study medical books after marriage? Does Qingqiu not have desks or houses? Is the home of the wealthiest man in Dahuang not spacious enough?
After marriage, Xiaoyao would live in Xiaoyue Ding and continue studying medicine. Would Jing ever object to a single word of that? Of course not—he never would.
Okey,I will not subtract, add, or alter anything that Tong Hua said.
She wrote:
Eternal yearning for each other happens because there is profound love, because it cannot be obtained, because it cannot be forgotten. However, I am willing to bear with all these emotions and live well.
Life is a series of encounters and partings; it is a series of forgetting (leaving behind) and beginnings.
You were once here, you have left.
Even though I find it difficult to stop missing you, I will still smile when I see the beautiful rainbow.
In the prototype written by Tong Hua, she was willing to carry all the emotions and try to live well after her lover died.
Oh, I almost forgot—was her life really fine after Tu Shanjing died? Even though he didn’t actually die.
Thank you ^^
Moreover, what Tong Hua wrote on Weibo was about character prototypes—early inspirations before the final story took shape. The tragic story of Madam Hu inspired the creation of Cang Xuan and his mother. The Western Poison Ouyang Feng from Mount Baituo inspired the characters of Jing, Hou, and Yiying. And as a contrast to Madam Hu, there was also Madam Wu Xuanshuang, who chose to go on living, despite the depth of her love.After her lover died.
Tong Hua wrote:
"Eternally Yearning for Each Other" — A mutual love that cannot be together, yet cannot be forgotten.
"You were once here, you have left.
Even though it's hard for me to stop missing you,
I will still smile when I see a beautiful rainbow."
These words clearly do not describe the relationship between Cang Xuan and Xiao Yao. I know you're a Yaojing—a person who has never acknowledged that Xiao Yao and Xiang Liu truly loved each other. But if we’re really talking about eternally yearning for each other—a mutual love that cannot be together yet cannot be forgotten—then this is not about love that triumphs or ends in togetherness. It is about a love that must be let go, even if it never truly disappears from the heart.
And precisely because of that, the meaning doesn't fit the Yaojing narrative either—because no matter how you look at it, Tu Shanjing didn’t die. In the end, he remained with Xiao Yao.She never truly lost Tu Shanjing forever.
I find these interpretations overly simplistic and dismissive of the emotional depth portrayed in the story. So please, don’t blame those of us who write extensively just to show that this so-called “absolute truth” is, in fact, highly debatable.
I’ve never denied that Xiaoyao had feelings for Tu Shanjing. She clearly cared for him. After all, he matched nearly all of her ideal traits in a partner—Jing is someone she can control—a person who constantly evokes her pity and makes her feel emotionally close. He’s a companion who would never abandon her, a kind partner who treats her well and tolerates her throughout her life, someone who would never oppose her brother, and a dependent figure who could compensate for the absence of maternal love in her life.
But I believe that Xiaoyao’s true love was Xiangliu. Her love for xiangliu, in my view, went a level deeper—raw, unspoken, and soul-stirring in a way her love for Tu Shanjing never was.
What she felt for Tu Shanjing may not have been the kind of romantic love that threatens the "Bug Lovers"into "Heartbreak Bug", but rather a bond built on comfort, familiarity, and shared experiences. That doesn’t make it any less real—it simply makes it different. Many relationships in real life begin this way: two people connect because they feel lonely, they enjoy each other’s company, and they grow closer over time. They may not start off madly in love, but they form a deep attachment. Still, this isn’t always the kind of love that shakes the soul.
With Xiangliu, on the other hand, there was something else—an emotional resonance that was never fully spoken, yet always present. He was never officially hers, yet his presence lingered in the deepest corners of her heart. His sacrifices cut deeper, and their parting was more painful. That kind of love, though never fully realized, leaves a lasting mark—perhaps even more so because it remained unfinished.
As Tong Hua herself said, "While love can be soul-stirring, it is not everything in life.
Family bonds, friendships, ideals, responsibilities... people have all kinds of connections in this world, and many blessings and forms of happiness do not come from romantic love.
Eternal yearning between two people exists because the love is so deep, because it cannot be possessed, and because it cannot be forgotten."
So the question isn’t merely who ends up with Xiaoyao. The real question is: who truly moved her soul? And in my eyes, the answer is Xiangliu.
If some fans are so sure of their interpretation, then surely they can respect the fact that others may see it differently. This isn’t about shipping wars—it’s about honoring the complexity of a story that was never meant to be one-dimensional.
First, when Tu Shanjing himself admits that he has been taking advantage of Xiaoyao’s kindness and gentleness. This confession not only reveals a layer of emotional manipulation, but also confirms that their relationship was never truly equal from the beginning.
Another compelling example appears in the scene where they try to escape from Cang Xuan. In the novel, this situation isn’t described in much detail. However, in the drama adaptation, a striking contrast is shown: Tu Shanjing passionately tells Xiaoyao that he is Tu Shanjing and that he will give her everything, yet at the same time, he tells Cang Xuan that he is Ye Shiqi and that his actions have nothing to do with the Tushan family. In the end, both he and Xiaoyao are captured, and she loses her chance to escape—a tragic turning point filled with meaning.
There are also symbolic visual details in the drama that often go unnoticed. One of the most telling is Tu Shanjing’s limp. Many viewers have pointed out that in some scenes, he walks normally when he’s not with Xiaoyao, but whenever he faces her, his limp returns. Sadly, I didn’t pay much attention to it myself—what a pity. Though it might seem like a small detail, this element actually implies a deeper narrative: his limp is not merely physical, but also emotional and strategic—performed deliberately to evoke Xiaoyao’s sympathy and pity.
Let me know if I misunderstood anything.^^
There’s also a particularly symbolic visual scene: Xiangliu’s reflection appears in Xiaoyao’s eyes, while Xiaoyao’s reflection appears in Tu Shanjing’s. This directly echoes the moment in the novel when Jing says, “In your eyes, there has never been me.” It’s a painful admission that reinforces where Xiaoyao’s true feelings lie.
Moreover, when Tu Shanjing returns from the dead, the outfit he wears closely resembles the one worn by Fangfeng Bei. This further strengthens the recurring theme of substitution or replacement in the story.
I’ve read numerous analyses that point out how the novel is rich with substitution literature.
Recently, I also came across a screenshot of Tong Hua’s comment on a fan-written article by a YaoLiu supporter on Weibo—an article that analyzed the flowers in the novel.
Personally, I don’t believe Tong Hua would have left a comment on something she considered meaningless. So for those who continue to insist there is no hidden narrative between Xiaoyao and Xiangliu, I honestly have nothing more to say. The literary and symbolic evidence embedded in this story is simply too strong to ignore.
桐华tonghua
Yesterday 21:21 from 微博weibo.com
无意中看到一个帖子,分析长相思里面的花的帖子。写时并未希冀有人留意,写故事的心情犹如悬崖上的蛇眼石楠花,自开自看。但有人留意了,那花自然也就有了不同的颜色。一写一看,隔着三年的悠悠时光,有了这一看,那一写在回忆里也平添了意蕴。谢谢!
[By chance, I came across a post—an analysis of the flowers in Chang Xiang Si (Lost You Forever). When I wrote it, I never expected anyone to notice. The feeling I had while writing the story was like the snake-eye shinan flower blooming on the edge of a cliff—blossoming for itself, seen by itself.
But someone noticed it, and naturally, the flower took on a different color.
One writes, one reads—separated by three years of gently flowing time. With that single reading, the writing also gained added meaning in memory. Thank you!]
Tong Hua also seems to present a rather negative view of Tu Shanjing’s character. She uses many explicit compliments, but they are laced with subtle criticisms in the way she portrays him. In my opinion, Tu Shanjing represents the kind of person in real life who lacks a strong sense of self, has no clear direction in life, and is willing to die for love. His emotional dependence on Xiaoyao is a clear example of unhealthy love—certainly not something that should be idealized.
However, due to his status as the Young Master of Qingqiu and the gentle image he projects, there are still people who are drawn to this couple (CP). But if we truly understand the moral message conveyed in Lost You Forever, relationships built on emotional dependence and subtle manipulation should be questioned—not celebrated.
And you’re right—if not for Tushan Hou’s devious schemes, Tu Shanjing and Fangfeng Yiying might actually have made a good couple. In the novel, when Tu Shanjing proposes to Xiaoyao, it is clearly stated that before he was trapped by Tushan Hou, the bride chosen for him by his mother already met all of Tu Shanjing’s criteria.
From an outsider’s perspective, Tu Shanjing appears pitiful and deeply self-effacing. His relationship with Xiaoyao is far from equal — he does everything she likes and becomes the person she wants, but he can never be his true self. He can only be Ye Shiqi, the version of himself that Xiaoyao can control. By showing weakness, he softens her heart and slowly conquers and possesses her, drawing her sympathy, pity, and emotional value. As a man wounded by his elder brother, Tu Shanjing's sense of self-worth relies entirely on Xiaoyao for redemption.
Xiaoyao likes to be in control of those who are weaker and to hold the upper hand in love. Her relationships are not equal in status, so Jing shows weakness and pretends to be someone fragile — but in truth, he is not that person at all. If you wear a false mask in front of the one you love for too long, can you really play the role of the man Xiaoyao needs for a lifetime? The lifespan of gods is incredibly long, and love without dignity is a dangerous thing. How many people can spend their entire lives playing the role someone else desires, just to be loved?
It may seem like Xiaoyao holds the power in their relationship, but in reality, it’s Tu Shanjing who subtly manipulates her psychology. His leg could have been healed, but he chooses to remain crippled just to gain her sympathy and bind her to him through compassion. He comes across as emotionally fragile and psychologically unbalanced — someone who never truly rebuilds his own identity.
He’s skilled in business, yet he never teaches Xiaoyao to be independent or introduces her to the world of commerce. His intelligence and strategies are sharp enough to manipulate anyone — including Xiaoyao. People around her have repeatedly warned that the foxes of the Tushan family are full of schemes, but she still refuses to listen
His sacrifices aren’t entirely selfless either—they’re part of his strategy for survival. Without Xiaoyao’s love, he feels worthless, even to the point of being willing to die if she doesn’t love him back. Imagine being loved by someone who is so emotionally dependent that they would take their own life if you rejected them—is that really love, or is it manipulation?
There are people who love you maturely: even if they can’t be with you, they still want what’s best for you. And then there are those who love in a way that’s obsessive, who want to own you completely, and will go to extreme lengths to stay in your life. If you look closer, this kind of love often falls under emotional blackmail—where the affection is conditional and rooted in control.
is Tu Shanjing one of these people? Does his love come from strength and sincerity, or from emotional instability and psychological manipulation?
You be the judge.
In my opinion, emotional blackmail can take many forms, but there are four that stand out to me the most.
First is the self-victimizing type—the kind of person who uses threats of self-harm or suicide to manipulate others. They don’t express pain to seek help, but to control.
Second is the aggressive type, who prefers direct threats and forces people to act out of fear. Their love is conditional, and they use consequences to keep others in line.
Third is the pitiful or tragic type. They constantly appear fragile, helpless, or miserable, just to win sympathy. I think this is one of the most subtle and dangerous forms because it often disguises itself as innocence.
And finally, there’s the seductive type. They lure others in with grand promises and future dreams that never come true. It’s all about feeding someone’s hope just to keep them emotionally invested.
To me, all four are manipulative in different ways, and it’s important to recognize these patterns—especially in relationships that claim to be built on love.
Unfortunately, this love story is built on two individuals who both lack a complete and independent sense of self—a man scarred by past trauma, trapped in a yandere-like persona, and a woman still entangled in childhood wounds and a deep longing for affection. Their bond may seem strong on the surface, but in reality, they serve as emotional crutches for each other. As a result, their love becomes unhealthy—emotionally dependent, distorted, and far from balanced. Even by the end of the story, neither of them has truly healed. They both still have a long way to grow.
it is not surprising that Tong Hua stated the female protagonist’s choices were rooted in her psychological deficiencies. This aligns with how her decisions consistently stem from emotional wounds and inner emptiness formed during her childhood and adolescence — what modern psychology refers to as the influence of one’s family of origin
Sometimes I wonder, will Xiaoyao eventually realize that she’s been emotionally confined by Tu Shanjing’s love? Will she one day fight back and break free from that invisible cage? Tong Hua’s tale of the fox and the snake feels like a subtle satire—rich with symbolism and hidden irony.
When we talk about healthy love—the kind that leads to growth or healing—this is definitely not what it looks like to me.
In my opinion, it would be much more meaningful if Tu Shanjing could heal from his past trauma on his own, go through a genuine journey of self-recovery, and rebuild his identity and confidence. Only then, if he chooses to be with Xiaoyao out of true love and not emotional dependence, their relationship would represent real healing.
It would make his character much stronger if he were portrayed as someone who has love, strength, emotional maturity, and keeps his promises, but also someone who has his own thoughts, values, and life goals—not just someone who exists to fulfill Xiaoyao’s needs. He should have his own interests, dreams, and passions—someone who shares life with her, not revolves around her.
To me, a healthy relationship isn’t about one person constantly accommodating the other. It’s about mutual respect, emotional balance, personal growth, and healing together. If Tu Shanjing and Xiaoyao could become emotionally and mentally equal partners, their love story would feel much more authentic and compelling.
True growth for Xiaoyao begins when she finally heals the wounds of her childhood, reflects on everything she’s been through, and starts to recognize the subtle signs of feelings she may have ignored. Could it really be that she never realized the mutual love that existed between her and Xiang Liu? Perhaps, deep down, she knew—but didn’t have the courage to face her own heart.
When she is finally brave enough to acknowledge her deepest emotions, to understand that love doesn’t always mean being together, and to see that Xiang Liu loved her silently—sacrificing everything, even his own life—that is the moment she truly matures. She knows that Xiang Liu loved her. His departure wasn’t without traces—he left behind his blood, the sea map, and the archery skills that helped her become a stronger version of herself.
True love doesn’t always mean possession. Sometimes, it simply means never fading from one’s heart. From that moment on, Xiang Liu’s presence will always be a part of her. She will live her life well, carrying the blessings and love he left behind. Whether she eventually finds someone to walk beside her, or chooses to live on her own—it won’t matter. What matters is that she lives as her true self: free, whole, and with that love quietly kept in her heart.
Honestly, I don’t believe that two people who are both mentally and emotionally broken can truly save each other just by clinging to one another for warmth. I’m also skeptical about the idea that their secluded life after retreating from the world would bring them genuine peace or happiness. When Xiaoyao is with Tu Shanjing, I feel like her spirit and vitality are slowly drained. The vibrant, lively Xiaoliu that once brought so much energy seems to fade away. Later in the story, it becomes clear that her depressive state worsens—after enduring so many blows and heartbreaks, she loses hope, even to the point of contemplating suicide.
To me, Xiaoyao also shows clear self-destructive tendencies. The people she trusted the most betrayed her, and the one she loved the most remained out of reach. When Ye Shiqi—the man who once represented a peaceful, stable life—suddenly returns, it feels like her last thread of hope, as if she has no real choice left.
I’ve always believed that if someone can’t save themselves from suffering, and instead places all their hopes on another person, that hope will eventually collapse. I truly believe that heaven helps those who help themselves. And in the end, only when Xiaoyao finds the strength to stand on her own and grow as a whole person, can this story be called a true happy ending.
I once heard that the final chapter of the novel references a poem by Tao Yuanming from the Wei and Jin dynasties. In the end, she followed her heart and returned to the home Xiang Liu had prepared for her—the sea.Maybe this is the moment where Xiaoyao's true growth begins.
Perhaps I’ll include the interview with Tong Hua—eloquently rendered into English by Lidi. My thanks to Lidi for the excellent work.
[ "Although I write romance stories, but my understanding of love has always been to first be the best version of yourself before moving on to feelings. One of the cornerstones of love is equality, and equality is built on a woman's independence and self-empowerment.
...
My view is that love can make life very beautiful, but it is not the only thing in life. Women should first live their own lives well. Only a woman with financial and mental independence can embrace love calmly."
-- Tong Hua, 2019 interview excerpts ]