WingedBean

Rating this feels wrong. Like, how do you rate someone's pain? Or rather, someone's journey through pain? To me, Odajima reflects what melancholy is. He looks cold and distant. He's also silent and obedient. But when you try to see past that, he's so scared and so incredibly sad. He moves through life like it's a burden to be alive, here with the rest of us.

And with good reason. His life, till he is paired with Kataoka, for this 'road trip' has been riddled with violence, pain, intolerable sadness, and disappointment. He also needs to kill Kataoka. But, what if your assignment, and the person you promised yourself you'd kill to avenge something in your past, is also your saviour? The person who pulls you out of the darkness that has been your life? Who makes you feel love again? How do you reconcile with that?

Kataoka is also a very interesting fellow. He comes off as abrasive and unserious in the beginning. However, as the story moves on, you and Odajima realize that beneath his loud self and lazy walk (he's also a pervert), lies a good, caring man - at least by mafia standards. He is such a light, which perfectly counterbalances the bleak abyss that is Odajima and his existence.

I think this is a simple yet very deep story. It's not a happy one, but it's not sad either. It gives off comfort slice of life vibes, but also makes you feel like you're grieving (Ugh! I'm annoyed that I do not have the vocabulary for what it made me feel). It's an oddly beautiful feeling.

My one gripe with the story is one I have with many Japanese BLs. The dramas all end as the couple's story is beginning. I wish there were a way (and a budget) to extend some of these beautiful bodies of work. Let me see them be in love for longer😭

PS. Four things I'd like to highlight

1. The cinematography - Beautiful doesn't even begin to cover it. It was done so well and is best highlighted when the OST plays.

2. Odajima's face in the NC scenes - Specifically in ep 2. This is going to sound cheesy (?), but his face during that scene made me understand the meaning of the word bloom. Specifically in the statement 'I bloom for you.' Kataoka and I were on the same boat. Mesmerized by how his normally cold and detached face changed when he was turned on. Hat's off to you, Takahashi Hiroto. You killed that shit.

3. The OST - I thought it was a fun little tune. And then I went and looked it up on YouTube. If you haven't, I urge you to look up the official lyric video on there. Those lyrics perfectly capture what this story is from Odajima's POV

4. I like the fact that being with Kataoka and leaving the mafia behind didn't automatically 'fix' Odajima. He doesn't suddenly become the happiest person in the room. He's still introverted and silent, and that sadness didn't fully go away. But looking at him and his interactions with others, he somehow feels lighter. He's cool being alive now; he's no longer walking into that abyss head-on. He's also awkward, which is really adorable