RL

At What Point Is Enough Enough?

This movie, overall was a great watch.
I enjoyed the music, the scenes, you name it, I loved it. But I found myself struggling to like the FL. NOT the actress, I think she did great, but the character. The character goes through a lot of hardships and you see how it impacts her relationships; she keeps her distance, doesn't believe she deserves goodness, doesn't share much about herself, and doesn't trust others. My question to that is at what point is enough enough? There has to be a decision to move forward and not let the past dictate your life. She does make that choice but at the signs of trouble, she falls right back into old habits and disappears.
I believe the FL lives her life with the mindset of "I don't want to inconvenience anyone, I don't deserve to be an inconveience anyone" but she never ASKS IF she's an inconvenience to anyone, she never ASKS her friends if they're ok, and she never offers to TELL her friends if she's how she's doing and if she's ok. She's already made the decision that she's an inconvenience and therefore the best thing for those around her is if SHE makes the decision for ALL of them by removing herself out of their lives.
That isn't love.
You can't say "I love you, so I'll make this decision without talking to you first, without getting your input first, and without thinking of how it'll affect you first. But because I love you, trust me, it's for the best." That's very selfish and self-centered. That isn't love.

I also found myself getting frustrated with the ML. Loving someone doesn't mean you have no boundaries with them. He has no boundaries of proper treatment from the woman he says he loves. He has boundaries with friends, coworkers, etc, but not her. That was annoying because the FL treats him how she BELIEVES is the best way to tram him. She genuinely believes she's doing the right thing and because he has no boundaries with her, he doesn't correct her; instead just coddles her and enables her selfish tendencies. That isn't love either.

I believe a person can be a victim and still be selfish outside of that victimhood.

Both FL and ML seem trauma bonded, trying to relive missed opportunities which is never good.
Overall, it was a beautiful watch- the cinematography of it all- I wouldn't watch it again (simply because once is enough for me with most shows/movies), but it was hard to witness this type of relationship.

Maybe I was too invested in the realism of it all ?

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