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Musings on Ep6 of GelBoys - the Thai BL reset
The feminist ethic of care, the sine qua non of BL that separates it from mainstream gay media, is conspicuous in Gel Boys by how the creators address its absence. It is absent in some (three) of the relationships, but it is very present in (two) others. Before a couple can become good lovers, this production suggests, they must first become good friends.
Women can relate to this current in the narrative well because they suffer this in their relationships with men all the time; men who they’re genuinely interested as people refuse to maintain close relationships of emotional intimacy with women if they won’t get the sexual payoff they prioritise more. In that sense this seam in the narrative is not about being gay rather but *Masculinity* not allowing men to be fully human by having their emotional repertoire restricted to a narrow range of potentials. This is harmful to men as well as women because, if we are to thrive in the emotional sphere, transactional relationships cannot be a human norm.
The provocative means by which GelBoys raises male sexual ethics, in all its simplicity and occasionally its complexity, is what makes each episode gripping. I’ve watched some adult BL reactors writhe in discomfort not just because we’ve all had these experiences as teenagers but because for many men this is still the painful and unfulfilling reality they live. GelBoys strikes us all in a visceral way.
The red/flag green flag discourse these provocations elicited among viewers may have been more useful if they weren’t misinterpreted by an excess of postmodernesque “every transgression is valid”. The subtle distinction being missed by many is not simplistically that we shouldn’t write-off young people as red flags while they’re still developing their characters, as too many mistakenly assert, but that its in the interest of young people that behaviours which are objectively red flags should not be minimised or go unchallenged regardless of age. The urgency of this second more correct reading is obvious in the crisis of loneliness, alienation and emotional disconnection we can see adult males complaining of today. Bad habits formed in childhood and not broken early are extremely difficult to jettison in adulthood.
Good Relationships are Ends in Themselves:
In Ep6 we’re not only fully aware of Bua’s manipulating patterns but why. He wants and needs to be the centre of someone’s life and he is willing to use sex to do it. Again the narrative is pointing to how men use sex not just to get the relational intimacy they really crave but also to how sex is used as a substitute when they can’t get it.
We do not know definitively what Bua’s sexual orientation is but we do know he has a hole inside him that social media cannot compensate for, ie the basis of all love - care. As such Bua’s relationships with Chian, Moo and Baabin are means to an end, not ends in themselves. Bua’s relations with other boys so far cannot be considered to be motivated by care and therefore not love; they are not even reciprocal, just extractive. This inevitably frustrates and hurts everyone involved.
Similarly Fou4Mod didn’t need to introduce a sexual aspect to his relationship with Faifa. They already had a solid relationship, however Fou4Mod needs the peer validation he thinks only a sexual relationship can provide so he *uses* Faifa for that. Through this exploitative miscalculation he loses one of his most dependable and non-tractional relationships.
GelBoys Critique of Masculinity Norms:
GelBoys’ conveying of Baabin’s character returns the Uke to his rightful place as star of the BL Show, something that has been missing in dozens of recent productions. Baa is the least conforming to the masculinity norm of not investing relationships with care. Baa is also straightforward with his opinions; speaks the truth sometimes gently, sometimes harshly; is faithful to his own feelings, and is empathetic to the emotional needs of others.
Hence, Baabin in their kissing scene, is characteristically honest to Bua saying the kiss is just a curiosity for him, not a declaration of romantic intent. Which is fine as the odd one-off because he’s a teenager and this is experimentation done with full disclosure, which Bua accepted without so much as a wrinkle.
The next morning Baabin makes the effort to hide his gel manicured toes so they won’t raise a problem when he’s alone with Fou4Mod because he’s ready to mend their estrangement and he’s conscious of F4M’s fragile emotional state. Baabin repeats his identical position in the 4-way zoom meeting – he’s not romantically interested in Bua.
How anyone could have seen the lead up to that kiss scene, listened to their dialogue afterwards which is congruent to both characters in the scene, and conclude that this was going to be a love match, I do not know. Perhaps this says how much our generation has become inured to sexual relations without any emotional element of care as an acceptable norm for men.
What’s up with Chian’s sudden 180 degree:
Similarly, Chian, a person who has had no romantic interest in F4M for 5 episodes but was happy to fool round with in case it is instrumental to spur Bua to get jealous and somehow return his affection, is in real time, suddenly ready to commit to F4M? Didn’t we just watch him despairing that his post isn’t even being viewed by his close “friends”?
Isn’t Chian also having a crisis of loneliness, defined by lack of social media attention - not lack of F4M, when he is motivated to act out of character by the realisation that F4M might be at a loose end? Should we not take Chian’s historical context as relevant to his real desires? Even Fou4Mod is shocked at this abrupt about turn.
No Love is Presented as a Transaction:
So far it’s been a game of schemes and transactions for Chian and Bua in the way they have dealt with each other as well as with Fou4Mod and then Baabin. Only the romantic affection of Fou4Mod for Chian, and that of Baabin for Fou4Mod seem to me to be sincere and demonstrate authentic care – Fou4Mod and Baabin pursue these relationships as ends in themselves. These motivations and actions are more likely to result in a love relationship - once they’re directed at the right target.
Now having said that, I don’t know where the writer will take things from here in the episode seven finale. Still I sincerely do not want to see a time-skip cop-out like IPYTM instead of a conflict resolution arc and a rebuilding of earned trust in the relationship first as friends, then as boyfriends.
Onto Ep 7…
Women can relate to this current in the narrative well because they suffer this in their relationships with men all the time; men who they’re genuinely interested as people refuse to maintain close relationships of emotional intimacy with women if they won’t get the sexual payoff they prioritise more. In that sense this seam in the narrative is not about being gay rather but *Masculinity* not allowing men to be fully human by having their emotional repertoire restricted to a narrow range of potentials. This is harmful to men as well as women because, if we are to thrive in the emotional sphere, transactional relationships cannot be a human norm.
The provocative means by which GelBoys raises male sexual ethics, in all its simplicity and occasionally its complexity, is what makes each episode gripping. I’ve watched some adult BL reactors writhe in discomfort not just because we’ve all had these experiences as teenagers but because for many men this is still the painful and unfulfilling reality they live. GelBoys strikes us all in a visceral way.
The red/flag green flag discourse these provocations elicited among viewers may have been more useful if they weren’t misinterpreted by an excess of postmodernesque “every transgression is valid”. The subtle distinction being missed by many is not simplistically that we shouldn’t write-off young people as red flags while they’re still developing their characters, as too many mistakenly assert, but that its in the interest of young people that behaviours which are objectively red flags should not be minimised or go unchallenged regardless of age. The urgency of this second more correct reading is obvious in the crisis of loneliness, alienation and emotional disconnection we can see adult males complaining of today. Bad habits formed in childhood and not broken early are extremely difficult to jettison in adulthood.
Good Relationships are Ends in Themselves:
In Ep6 we’re not only fully aware of Bua’s manipulating patterns but why. He wants and needs to be the centre of someone’s life and he is willing to use sex to do it. Again the narrative is pointing to how men use sex not just to get the relational intimacy they really crave but also to how sex is used as a substitute when they can’t get it.
We do not know definitively what Bua’s sexual orientation is but we do know he has a hole inside him that social media cannot compensate for, ie the basis of all love - care. As such Bua’s relationships with Chian, Moo and Baabin are means to an end, not ends in themselves. Bua’s relations with other boys so far cannot be considered to be motivated by care and therefore not love; they are not even reciprocal, just extractive. This inevitably frustrates and hurts everyone involved.
Similarly Fou4Mod didn’t need to introduce a sexual aspect to his relationship with Faifa. They already had a solid relationship, however Fou4Mod needs the peer validation he thinks only a sexual relationship can provide so he *uses* Faifa for that. Through this exploitative miscalculation he loses one of his most dependable and non-tractional relationships.
GelBoys Critique of Masculinity Norms:
GelBoys’ conveying of Baabin’s character returns the Uke to his rightful place as star of the BL Show, something that has been missing in dozens of recent productions. Baa is the least conforming to the masculinity norm of not investing relationships with care. Baa is also straightforward with his opinions; speaks the truth sometimes gently, sometimes harshly; is faithful to his own feelings, and is empathetic to the emotional needs of others.
Hence, Baabin in their kissing scene, is characteristically honest to Bua saying the kiss is just a curiosity for him, not a declaration of romantic intent. Which is fine as the odd one-off because he’s a teenager and this is experimentation done with full disclosure, which Bua accepted without so much as a wrinkle.
The next morning Baabin makes the effort to hide his gel manicured toes so they won’t raise a problem when he’s alone with Fou4Mod because he’s ready to mend their estrangement and he’s conscious of F4M’s fragile emotional state. Baabin repeats his identical position in the 4-way zoom meeting – he’s not romantically interested in Bua.
How anyone could have seen the lead up to that kiss scene, listened to their dialogue afterwards which is congruent to both characters in the scene, and conclude that this was going to be a love match, I do not know. Perhaps this says how much our generation has become inured to sexual relations without any emotional element of care as an acceptable norm for men.
What’s up with Chian’s sudden 180 degree:
Similarly, Chian, a person who has had no romantic interest in F4M for 5 episodes but was happy to fool round with in case it is instrumental to spur Bua to get jealous and somehow return his affection, is in real time, suddenly ready to commit to F4M? Didn’t we just watch him despairing that his post isn’t even being viewed by his close “friends”?
Isn’t Chian also having a crisis of loneliness, defined by lack of social media attention - not lack of F4M, when he is motivated to act out of character by the realisation that F4M might be at a loose end? Should we not take Chian’s historical context as relevant to his real desires? Even Fou4Mod is shocked at this abrupt about turn.
No Love is Presented as a Transaction:
So far it’s been a game of schemes and transactions for Chian and Bua in the way they have dealt with each other as well as with Fou4Mod and then Baabin. Only the romantic affection of Fou4Mod for Chian, and that of Baabin for Fou4Mod seem to me to be sincere and demonstrate authentic care – Fou4Mod and Baabin pursue these relationships as ends in themselves. These motivations and actions are more likely to result in a love relationship - once they’re directed at the right target.
Now having said that, I don’t know where the writer will take things from here in the episode seven finale. Still I sincerely do not want to see a time-skip cop-out like IPYTM instead of a conflict resolution arc and a rebuilding of earned trust in the relationship first as friends, then as boyfriends.
Onto Ep 7…
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