My hands shook as I opened it and pulled out the paper inside. Hello, Jane. You’re probably surprised to see this letter, especially since it’s in Thai. But as you know, I’m proficient in both languages, and I believe my written Thai is just as good as my English. I wanted to convey this in the language you’d understand instantly. Whether you can read my handwriting is another story-they say smart people, like doctors, have terrible handwriting. I’m one of them. I suppose our brains think faster than our hands can move. As I write this, you are asleep. If you are reading this, you’ve realized by now that I drugged your drink with a sedative.
I’m sorry for that, and I’m sorry for leaving without saying goodbye. But l didn’t think I’d be strong enough to walk out of your life if you were awake. If you were conscious, I wouldn’t have been able to take a single step; I’d have wanted to hold you forever. I’m a selfish person, aren’t I? To be honest, I’m writing this without knowing if you’ll ever have the chance to read it.
You might never see it. But I’ll write it as if it’s certain you’ll find it. There are so many things I want to say to you, but every time I look at your face, I lose my words. So I just stay quiet. I’ve never been a good talker anyway. But strangely, as l write, I feel I can express everything perfectly.
I must have a talent for writing too. Are you jealous that I’m good at everything? I remember you wanted to be a writer.
“You idiot… sob… ” I wiped away the tears that were flooding my eyes. I wanted to laugh, but I couldn’t. I continued reading. I’ve decided to give this condo to you. Whether you live here, sell it, or rent it out is entirely up to you. The only thing I won’t allow is for you to give it back to my mother or relatives. One, because they don’t need it-the Juengtaweekiartiyot family is already incredibly wealthy. Two, because I want you to have the money from this condo as your own capital to put yourself through school and for your future. You can even use it to pay for Jet and Jean’s education; I don’t mind. At least then I can be sure you won’t struggle. The thought makes it easier for me to leave you. Jane… there are things I must tell you. I need to say them so you don’t misunderstand me. Jane, I truly had nothing to do with Putt’s death. But I understand why you wouldn’t believe me. Look at everything I’ve done-how could I be trustworthy? If I were you, l wouldn’t believe me either. It’s not your fault for doubting me. You were right to. And one more thing I must tell you… is that I love you. I don’t know when it started or how, but before I knew it, I had fallen in love with you with all my heart. I froze. My heart squeezed so tightly I thought I’d die right then and there. My whole body felt flushed. Love? What does that even mean? I regained my composure and looked at the tiny, crowded script again. My darling, I love you so much. I love you so much it scares me. Since the first time I told you l loved you, it was the truth from my heart. It was never a lie. But I knew you never took it seriously. You thought I was just saying it. And I was too cowardly to tell you seriously-I preferred to play the villain, the “bad boy,” to cover it up. I’m quite pathetic, aren’t I? In everything else, I’m brilliant, but in love, I’m just a fool. Every time you said “I love you” back, I knew you didn’t really mean it. But I was always secretly happy to hear it, because I hoped that one day you might love me back. But it wasn’t meant to be. I’ve forced people in many ways, but one thing I’ve learned is that we cannot force a heart or a feeling. And because I love you this much, I never wanted to leave you. I wanted to stay and admire your beauty every day and night. But l had to go. And that is also because of love. If I stayed, I would only keep hurting you. I made you unhappy. I put you in danger. We aren’t compatible in any sense of morality. My leaving is the best solution for our relationship. Jane… I’ve let you go now. Are you happier now? Am I happier? No… not at all…
You might think you’re very ordinary. You probably wonder what l see in you, since you’re always putting yourself down. But do you know? You are a very “special” kind of ordinary. You are the cutest thing in this world. But I know that no matter what I compare you to, you won’t believe me. So, I’ve written ten things I love about you.
If you read them all, I believe you’ll agree with me on why I fell so completely in love with you. 1. You are incredibly cute. Cute in every movement and gesture. Especially when you pout your cheeks-it makes me want to squeeze you to death. It drove me crazy.
2. You don’t like fastening the top button of your shirt, saying it makes you look like a “nerd.” but every time I fastened it for you, you never unbuttoned it once.
3.Your hair smells amazing. Even though we use the same brand of shampoo, yours smells so much better than mine. When you weren’t looking, I loved to sneak a sniff. Even when you said your head stank after football, I never thought so.
4. You aren’t one for public displays of affection, yet you were brave enough to hold my hand wherever we went.
5.You allowed a “Cute Boy” page to post a photo of us together. I was so happy to stake my claim on you. To be honest, if it weren’t for you, I’d never have let them take my photo. But I wanted everyone to know you were taken.
6. When we did ballroom dance together, you’d purse your lips tightly because you were stressed about getting the steps wrong or falling. And most importantly, you were afraid of stepping on my feet. Honestly, even if you stepped on me twenty times, I wouldn’t be mad.
7. You gave up playing football to take care of me when I was sick.
8. You always care about others. You sacrifice your own happiness for others-especially your family, friends, and the people you love. Even though I wasn’t someone you loved, you still did it for me. Like how you hate the smell of cigarettes; every time I smoked, you looked like you wanted to complain, but you never did. And you never walked away.
9. When I came home exhausted and was too lazy to shower before bed, you’d say I was “dirty,” but you’d always come down and cuddle with me anyway.
10. I love you very much, Jane. The sensitive you. The kind-hearted you. The innocent you. The you who took on a debt for your brother. To be honest, I bet everything when I asked you to come back to me as repayment. I was determined to make you love me. In the end, I failed. But it’s okay. I will love you forever anyway, even if it has to be a one-sided love.
I’m happy to dream of you every night, because when I can’t find happiness while awake, I have to take what I can while I sleep. I will never forget you as long as I live. My heart will always be loyal to this Jenalee. Lastly, I just want to say… I’m sorry. I’m sorry I came into your life and ruined everything.
I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry, baby. I hope that from now on, you are happy forever, even if I’m no longer by your side to see your smile. I love you with all my heart. Big Jane for Little Jane. My tears fell uncontrollably. The sobbing that started as a whimper turned into a roar that echoed through the room.
I reached up to grab the key pendant around my neck-the precious token he had left me. Now, he was gone. Gone forever. He left without ever knowing the truth…
“P’Jane… I love you too ” I loved him so much I felt like I was dying right there.
God the letter in the novel really rips your heart out.
the ending (and the series as a whole) was literal perfection, i love the changes they made from the novel. this…
Yeah, how Fang Chi raped Gao in his car while sick was nauseating and almost turned me off from the novel. But this revamp of the series was absolutely perfect.
Absolutely beautiful ❤️ Forever one of my favorite Chinese bls😭 I will definitely be rewatching this series for a long time. Next to The Untamed and Revenged Love.
I thought it was Off's character from ep 1. Curious to see if I'm right. There's more than just bromance between these two and you can't convince me otherwise.
The man has blue 🔵 s and has been rejected multiple times. Not saying what he did was right but can you blame him for losing his sh!t finally, especially after Lil Jane ran to Win/Dan iykyk novel readers.
Sidenote: Lil Jane's waist is snatched. Oh he's so tiny under P'Jane 🤤
1
My hands shook as I opened it and pulled out the paper inside. Hello, Jane. You’re probably surprised to see this letter, especially since it’s in Thai. But as you know, I’m proficient in both languages, and I believe my written Thai is just as good as my English. I wanted to convey this in the language you’d understand instantly. Whether you can read my handwriting is another story-they say smart people, like doctors, have terrible handwriting. I’m one of them. I suppose our brains think faster than our hands can move. As I write this, you are asleep. If you are reading this, you’ve realized by now that I drugged your drink with a sedative.
I’m sorry for that, and I’m sorry for leaving without saying goodbye. But l didn’t think I’d be strong enough to walk out of your life if you were awake. If you were conscious, I wouldn’t have been able to take a single step; I’d have wanted to hold you forever. I’m a selfish person, aren’t I? To be honest, I’m writing this without knowing if you’ll ever have the chance to read it.
You might never see it. But I’ll write it as if it’s certain you’ll find it. There are so many things I want to say to you, but every time I look at your face, I lose my words. So I just stay quiet. I’ve never been a good talker anyway. But strangely, as l write, I feel I can express everything perfectly.
I must have a talent for writing too. Are you jealous that I’m good at everything? I remember you wanted to be a writer.
“You idiot… sob… ” I wiped away the tears that were flooding my eyes. I wanted to laugh, but I couldn’t. I continued reading. I’ve decided to give this condo to you. Whether you live here, sell it, or rent it out is entirely up to you. The only thing I won’t allow is for you to give it back to my mother or relatives. One, because they don’t need it-the Juengtaweekiartiyot family is already incredibly wealthy. Two, because I want you to have the money from this condo as your own capital to put yourself through school and for your future. You can even use it to pay for Jet and Jean’s education; I don’t mind. At least then I can be sure you won’t struggle. The thought makes it easier for me to leave you. Jane… there are things I must tell you. I need to say them so you don’t misunderstand me. Jane, I truly had nothing to do with Putt’s death. But I understand why you wouldn’t believe me. Look at everything I’ve done-how could I be trustworthy? If I were you, l wouldn’t believe me either. It’s not your fault for doubting me. You were right to. And one more thing I must tell you… is that I love you. I don’t know when it started or how, but before I knew it, I had fallen in love with you with all my heart. I froze. My heart squeezed so tightly I thought I’d die right then and there. My whole body felt flushed. Love? What does that even mean? I regained my composure and looked at the tiny, crowded script again. My darling, I love you so much. I love you so much it scares me. Since the first time I told you l loved you, it was the truth from my heart. It was never a lie. But I knew you never took it seriously. You thought I was just saying it. And I was too cowardly to tell you seriously-I preferred to play the villain, the “bad boy,” to cover it up. I’m quite pathetic, aren’t I? In everything else, I’m brilliant, but in love, I’m just a fool. Every time you said “I love you” back, I knew you didn’t really mean it. But I was always secretly happy to hear it, because I hoped that one day you might love me back. But it wasn’t meant to be. I’ve forced people in many ways, but one thing I’ve learned is that we cannot force a heart or a feeling. And because I love you this much, I never wanted to leave you. I wanted to stay and admire your beauty every day and night. But l had to go. And that is also because of love. If I stayed, I would only keep hurting you. I made you unhappy. I put you in danger. We aren’t compatible in any sense of morality. My leaving is the best solution for our relationship. Jane… I’ve let you go now. Are you happier now? Am I happier? No… not at all…
You might think you’re very ordinary. You probably wonder what l see in you, since you’re always putting yourself down. But do you know? You are a very “special” kind of ordinary. You are the cutest thing in this world. But I know that no matter what I compare you to, you won’t believe me. So, I’ve written ten things I love about you.
If you read them all, I believe you’ll agree with me on why I fell so completely in love with you.
1. You are incredibly cute. Cute in every movement and gesture. Especially when you pout your cheeks-it makes me want to squeeze you to death. It drove me crazy.
2. You don’t like fastening the top button of your shirt, saying it makes you look like a “nerd.” but every time I fastened it for you, you never unbuttoned it once.
3.Your hair smells amazing. Even though we use the same brand of shampoo, yours smells so much better than mine. When you weren’t looking, I loved to sneak a sniff. Even when you said your head stank after football, I never thought so.
4. You aren’t one for public displays of affection, yet you were brave enough to hold my hand wherever we went.
5.You allowed a “Cute Boy” page to post a photo of us together. I was so happy to stake my claim on you. To be honest, if it weren’t for you, I’d never have let them take my photo. But I wanted everyone to know you were taken.
6. When we did ballroom dance together, you’d purse your lips tightly because you were stressed about getting the steps wrong or falling.
And most importantly, you were afraid of stepping on my feet. Honestly, even if you stepped on me twenty times, I wouldn’t be mad.
7. You gave up playing football to take care of me when I was sick.
8. You always care about others. You sacrifice your own happiness for others-especially your family, friends, and the people you love.
Even though I wasn’t someone you loved, you still did it for me. Like how you hate the smell of cigarettes; every time I smoked, you looked like you wanted to complain, but you never did. And you never walked away.
9. When I came home exhausted and was too lazy to shower before bed, you’d say I was “dirty,” but you’d always come down and cuddle with me anyway.
10. I love you very much, Jane. The sensitive you. The kind-hearted you. The innocent you. The you who took on a debt for your brother. To be honest, I bet everything when I asked you to come back to me as repayment. I was determined to make you love me. In the end, I failed. But it’s okay. I will love you forever anyway, even if it has to be a one-sided love.
I’m happy to dream of you every night, because when I can’t find happiness while awake, I have to take what I can while I sleep. I will never forget you as long as I live. My heart will always be loyal to this Jenalee. Lastly, I just want to say… I’m sorry. I’m sorry I came into your life and ruined everything.
I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry, baby. I hope that from now on, you are happy forever, even if I’m no longer by your side to see your smile. I love you with all my heart. Big Jane for Little Jane. My tears fell uncontrollably. The sobbing that started as a whimper turned into a roar that echoed through the room.
I reached up to grab the key pendant around my neck-the precious token he had left me. Now, he was gone. Gone forever. He left without ever knowing the truth…
“P’Jane… I love you too ” I loved him so much I felt like I was dying right there.
God the letter in the novel really rips your heart out.
Gonna be a loooong week.
Sidenote:
Lil Jane's waist is snatched. Oh he's so tiny under P'Jane 🤤
Not we wouldn't be soul mates. Nakhun is such a slow alpha sometimes.