cam

this movie has really stuck with me. i thought it was good when i watched it, but as time passes i appreciate it more, and it hasn't been that long since i first watched. it's subtle, but i think this movie changed my outlook on life, just slightly. it makes me excited to live, to fail, to learn, and to grow old. it's more than that, too, but hard to put into words. all i know is it's imprinted in my brain and it just sits there dormant until, every so often, something happens that pulls it back to the forefront of my mind, making me sad and nostalgic and happy all at once, again.

i think that's kind of the point, that it actually isn't romantic at all, especially from Phab's perspective. i'm not convinced that Maze meant it as a "romantic" gesture but more a part of the learning process. Up until this point, it's been a process of Phab teach Maze how to relax a bit. This episode is really the first time we're seeing Maze (intentionally) try to teach Phab instead for the sake of teaching him, and of course, he's teaching him something he knows really well: structure.

the thing is, it's not really what Phab wants - or necessarily needs, as some of their coworkers mentioned. but i think there was a point in having their coworkers also acknowledge that they're rubbing off on each other, which is that Maze has already taught Phab quite a lot, even if initially it was more for the selfish goal of getting Phab to work.

with that in mind - when it comes to the snacks scene, i think we might be seeing some boundary issues. they are still at work when that happens - Maze is still Phab's boss. that doesn't mean Phab was wrong to want to stay, especially because Maze has been lenient (and thus unclear about boundaries at work) with him in the past. Phab, who has come to see Neung as someone who hurt Maze, doesn't like that Maze still seems to prefer Neung's company to his, and for Phab, it's a sign that, despite his efforts, he still doesn't fit in with this company, and he's still not good enough for Maze. that kind of Aladdin and Jasmine feeling of "i might never be part of that world."

on the other hand, Maze isn't thinking so deeply about it. at most he's thinking that it's important for Phab to prioritize his schedule and his priorities over indulging himself, but it might also be as simple as Maze functioning as Phab's boss, and rediscovering the boundaries that he's normally comfortable with. work is /his/ environment, and maybe he's okay with and even appreciate's Phab pushing his boundaries elsewhere, but it's probably more stressful and disconcerting for him while he's at work. in the context of Phab's perspective, this seems really abrasive and cold, but without that context (which Maze is probably not fully reading into), it makes more sense. at worst, he's being a bit thoughtless and acting out of his own need to feel in control. at best, he thinks he's helping Phab (and starting to return the favor for all that Phap's taught him).

so when he brings him snacks, i don't think it's meant to be "look at this kind thing that i did for you" but more as a reassurance that being strict with yourself doesn't mean you miss out on everything. i also didn't think that they were really unwanted leftovers, but probably that Maze deliberately saved some for Phab from the start and just didn't want to say it. Maze misread the situation here and assumed that the reason Phab didn't want to leave was because he wanted treats, not because he wanted to be included in their discussion. which is kind of fair, because again, they were at work, and Phab hasn't been all that interested in work conversations, or interacting with Neung.

it is kind of condescending, like you said, denying a child candy. i think that hits on Maze's problem - when they were arguing, and Phab said something like no one can be good enough for Maze, i think that's a real concern with him. wanting someone to change for you is not really a healthy perspective - different from Phab, who wants Maze to learn to relax for the sake of Maze himself. Maze isn't seeing what Phab really needs. but then, this accusation that Phab is a "good for nothing" is also not baseless. there's something to be said for Phab isolating himself to such a degree that he struggles to make ends meet, even living with minimal utilities and expenses. it's not so much that Phab has nothing to learn from Maze, but that Maze is going about teaching him the wrong way.

wow this became really long, i'm sorry i have no ability to explain things in a concise way 😭 i hope this helps, anyway!

thank you for this!!!

is it just me or do people seem... weirdly critical of this show? especially when it isn't yet done airing? i know the production isn't on the same level as some other currently airing dramas, i get that, i guess i just don't find it to have that much of an impact on my enjoyment of the show? are my expectations for production just low cause i've been watching bls for a while or ?

this is not me trying to start drama or invalidate anyone's feelings towards the show, i'm genuinely shocked and a bit confused by the reaction to it. a lot of people have been comparing it to bad buddy (which i have also been enjoying!) and that one has almost exclusively positive ratings, even though neither are finished yet and both have their flaws. maybe it's /because/ they aren't finished yet, so people are judging solely on the production, since the stories aren't yet complete?

honestly, so far i've enjoyed the writing in this a lot - for me that's the most important thing. outside of some of the plot devices in the very first episode, i think the writing is great. i love that this focuses on post-university characters, and i think their characterizations are consistent, fun, and for the most part realistic. it is difficult to speak on it as a whole since it's unfinished, but they've done well establishing the different settings (the workplace and phap's home, especially, and i think it's clever to have delayed the introduction of maze's home, as a kind of representation that work is more significant than home to him), intriguing character dynamics (with maze & neung having a past relationship, and some of the complementing traits of the two mcs), and even planting some recurring items/topics (phap's reluctance to wear business attire, his pets, and the drawing(s) of maze - probably). this might be overestimating the writing and maybe it was just a coincidence, but the green lights really felt like a great gatsby reference to me, which would really add a lot of depth and indicate heightened nuance to the themes of the show if it's intentional. i laughed out loud at some of the jokes, too (sex apple? come on, that's funny)! not all of the humor is a hit, but that's par for the course with just about any drama i think. and again, time will tell if it lives up to my expectations (hopes?) but on the whole, compared to bad buddy, i'd say this one has the advantage so far, for me. not because i dislike bad buddy - i love it! it just seems more simplistic to me and less realistic - although its simplicity will make it less prone to plot holes, i think.

people have also been saying they're not buying maze's character because of the actor who's playing him - which is fair, since i think that kind of thing is very subjective - but for the record, i haven't had that experience. regarding the chemistry of the two leads, i'm not yet sure, since we've only barely (kind of) reached the romantic part of the show, but i haven't found it to be off-putting at this point.

again, i understand the critiques of the production. maybe i'm not as affected by those things as most people? i imagine that a lot of those deficits are simply a result of a struggling budget, but i could be wrong, as i know very little about that side of dramas. overall, though, it seems like the creative team behind this show has made the most of what they have.

that ended up being very long but if you have read this far, i am genuinely curious about what others are thinking and welcome any respectful discussion!!

i'm really interested in this show... i feel like it will either be very good, or it's going to crash and burn. not sure if that's controversial or not, but it isn't a commentary on the actors or whatever - i'm just worried about whether the plot will be cohesive and sensible. there are parts that toe the line of gimmicky or something to me, but there are ways to work with that which are effective. i hope it turns out to be very good!!

i didn't interpret the crying to be because of the flowers or the party alone, i took it more as a deep sadness over a series of massive life changes. new place, new friends, new dynamic with teh - and if that dynamic feels like they're growing apart to oh-aew, then i can understand why he'd be upset. i think the boquet felt like a sign of that. as for the parties, teh and oh-aew now have different friend groups, so that plays in to this feeling oh-aew has that they might not be as close as they once were. he wants to be comfortable, maybe, but more than that, i think he hates feeling like an outsider around teh and teh's group of friends (not that it's their fault - but it would still feel bad, especially after it took him a bit longer to find his own friends)

i'm not gonna bash anyone... but hard disagree here. not sure what you're speculating about, but just based on episode one he seems to be putting teh first even though oh-aew himself is sad

pure fear in my house tonight

i watch it just for the performances - i'm not aa fan of the dramatic editing on shows like this, but the performances are awesome. it's neat because these groups are all super talented and by participating in this show, they get access to larger-scale productions than that would normally have. so far, i've been very impressed and have enjoyed all of the performances.

i mean i can understand that! i think that's a different kind of uncomfortable though. the kind of uncomfortable i'm talking about is a kind of sick feeling, not a very fun one. instead of an "i'm expanding my mind with new material" kind of uncomfortable, it's more "i've seen this so much and can see how it's negatively influencing society or has been negatively influenced by society and i hate it" lol

and honestly i don't mind things being realistic - as long as they treat delicate subjects with the care they deserve. i don't like it when it's a sensitive subject being used just for drama - but i know not everyone feels this way.

i don't think so either - but it feels really slimey for them to imply that they did in that context. regardless of that, it doesn't make the way GSD acted okay in my eyes - but that's just me. the scene made me uncomfortable, so i didn't enjoy it, but i understand that other people had different reactions to it and that's fine!

LOL same ? pretty weird song selection there :')

the hand over the mouth was a bit of a tipping point for me, too, now that you say it. it felt like a clear declaration that he was just refusing to hear what zsy had to say. i agree with you - it would be nice and healthy if things like this were presented in a more nuanced way. hopefully we'll get some of that in the next few episodes, since we still don't really know what happened exactly.

it is good to discuss! everyone has their own experiences that influence how they view things, so it's good to get different perspectives. i didn't connect the pool with losing consciousness, that's a great point!

i agree, i don't think they've had sex! but i don't really appreciate the implication that they have in that context, just for the sake of drama/tension. it feels like a cheap and potentially damaging move, but that's just my taake.

i also see your point that the crying was more persuasive - that's probably true. it just seems really unnecessary to me to have the violence leading up to it. the main thing that really made it romantic for me was the music. people are pretty dismissive of that but it's a huge clue to how viewers should interpret the scene. it's unlikely that one person decided on it on their own - the sound designer must have gotten cues from the director if nothing else. but i can see how if you ignore the music it wouldn't have felt so romantic.

it's less of whether he should feel violated and more an issue of violence being presented as a solution to an issue of trust for me. i've seen this before in a lot of media and i know it influences the way people act in real life - and i would hate for someone to take cues from this kind of thing and really hurt somebody. not that this one show is going to make a difference, but the fact that this kind of thing is pretty common in media as a whole does have an impact.

the matter of it feeling out of character to me is kind of a different issue, but that's just my own interpretation. sex aside, i can't reconcile that being thrown and manhandled would be reassuring when it's coming from someone i don't trust.

this is definitely different than the way i interpreted it! i didn't actually mention this in my comment before, but everything else aside, it honestly didn't even feel realistic to me. the issue i see with it is that GSD being physically violent seems to have helped them fix their relationship. ZSY doesn't seem upset after this, more like he's done fighting his feelings all of a sudden. this is confusing to me because the whole issue was ZSY didn't trust GSD any more. personally, if someone who had betrayed my trust physically forced me to do /anything/ when i told them (repeatedly) not to, it would make me trust them even less. the fact that ZSY gives in makes it seem like GSD was right to force him in the end.

it seems like the show is going to move on to an issue caused by ZSY's dad - like if his dad wasn't there, then this violent scene would have fixed the relationship. that would be really disappointing to me, and honestly wouldn't make a lot of sense. and really, with this kind of sensitive issue, i guess i feel that it shouldn't be so ambiguous that people have such different interpretations, but that's just me.

having said that! we actually still don't know what happened exactly, because GSD didn't remember and we had a small time skip and ZSY didn't explain, so i am holding out hope that they had some kind of Conversation about it, at least before they had sex (if they did at all, i'm a bit sus about this). either way i don't love the way it has been set up, but i'd be a lot more forgiving if this ends up being the case.

tw: discussions of rape/sexual assault

this comment section is confusing to me for a few reasons: 1. i see more people upset at episode 2 because the actor drank to get into character than the sexual assault scene 2. i actually don't see that many people criticizing the sexual assault scene (there are some, just not many) 3. i see more people criticizing viewers who were offended by the scene than people who were offended.

maybe i am just reading the comments section at a bad time, but still. disclaimer: i am reading this with a very western point of view. i understand that there are cultural differences and it is not my place to correct them, especially considering that i believe this show is mainly marketed towards a domestic audience.

having said that: we are on the internet. the *world wide* web. i assume that commenters understand the internet to be an international platform, and are capable of educating themselves as such.

all this to say: criticizing other viewers for having an adverse reaction to an explicitly violent scene is wholely uncalled for. if you weren't offended, fine. i respect your opinion, as long as you respect mine.

my own thoughts on the "couch scene," as i've seen others commenting: it was uncomfortable for me, yeah. i have a friend who was raped. she told me about it months after the fact, hadn't spoken to anyone else about it, because she felt guilty about feeling bad. she did not call it rape until after we spoke about it, because she had grown up with the impression that romance just worked like that and there was something wrong with /her/.

all that aside, as others have mentioned, it gives mixed signals at best and romanticizes violence/rape at worst. the romantic music vs. the chaotic filming - makes me think the chaotic filming wasn't actually meat as a deterrent from romanticizing the scene, but a way to add to the "sexual chaos" or "sexual tension" or something. i don't know. i see people arguing that this is realistic to life and that only makes me more uncomfortable, actually. as a very small person without a lot of physical power, i hate the idea of someone deciding my consent from my body language alone, especially if i've said no or pushed them away multiple times. i wouldn't mind the scene if there were repercussions to it, but i personally don't appreciate these things being used solely as plot devices.

my own thoughts on an actor getting drunk to play a role: doesn't bother me, as long as he's consenting and of age. having said that: alcohol, unlike rape/sexual assault, is not something i'm particularly sensitive to, so i can understand that this would be more upsetting to some other viewers.

to clarify my overall stance on everything: i do not hate the show or the actors. i will probably continue watching. the show made me uncomfortable and i was disappointed by that - not just because of this one show (this is far from the only show that does this), but because of the way it reflects on and impacts society as a whole.

in advance: i'm open to discussing further if anyone has an interest in doing so but i will not respond to hate.

That's a very good point, it could very well come up later! GSP stressed me out because of that actually, I haven't been able to bring myself to watch the last episode ? I imagine if that issue comes up in ITSAY it will be a lot less forceful, like you said. Really excited to see what happens in part 2 as well!

Oh man, so I definitely don't think that Teh acted the way Oh-aew wanted him to act! But I think Teh's perception of what Oh wants from him is very skewed. Oh-aew even said "you've never understood me," and I really think that's right. We see it in that sheer number of times Teh uses tutoring as an excuse to spend time with Oh, as a means of ignoring his own feelings. Teh's understanding of his own emotions, let alone those of other people, is minimal at best, and most of what Oh wants from him is emotion-packed. So Teh, who's very focused on his own career-based success, kind of imposed that on Oh-aew, too. And I don't think he /really/ believed in his heart that Oh wanted that, but I think you can process things differently on a conscious level than a subconscious one. Totally agree that Oh didn't mean for Teh to take any of what Oh-aew said in the way that he did! And I think deep down, Teh knew that wasn't what Oh wanted either, but he was stressed and definitely not thinking rationally when he made the choices he made.

Thanks for the thoughtful response! Love hearing what other people think of this series :)