Do you know how many ppl have parents who got divorced when they were young? Let me give you a hint, it a fucking…
I understand what Dihtae V is saying. Not every reacts the same way to their parents getting divorced.
I know personally I just stopped trusting people. I didn't even want to date or get into relationships. Still at the age of 36 I find it hard to trust others. When i'm actually in a relationship. I'm constantly trying to make sure everything perfect. Instead of actually enjoying the relationship. Especially after seeing my parents divorce. Since I never want to get divorced. I have never actually taken the leap to get married. I usually distance myself from the other person when it gets to that point. Which is why I decided to stop dating all together.
Unlike Yian Ji. In my circle of friends i'm on of the only ones with parents that have divorced. I am all to familiar with being able to tell if someones parents divorced when they were younger. Even when it comes to my closest family members. My mom was the only one that got a divorce. Actually my mom has had multiple divorces throughout my childhood.
My sister on the other hand rushes into relationships all the time. Just because she says she never wants to feel like she's left alone. Even if she just ended a relationship she will rush into another one. She also has never married. She has told me many times it's because our mom got divorced so many times. She doesn't see the point in trusting someone to stay faithful.
I don't think people are out blaming their parents. They just probably think they would have made different decisions about relationships. If they had both parents around while growing up. Not everyone thinks the choices they have made in their lives are failures. Personally I don't think any of my past relationships have been failures. I just feel like not everyone in life ends up getting married.
For a long time as a kid I resented my mom. Her 2 brothers and 2 sisters all where married and my cousins had both their parents. I always felt like me, my sister, and mom where the weird ones during family gatherings. It also felt weird that she would take us to see the parents of a couple of her exes while growing up. I never understood why she stayed in contact with them.
Then again I remember worrying about her. If she was sick. Hearing her coughing late at night. Feeling scared that I wouldn't know what to do if she couldn't stop coughing. But knowing that I was the oldest. There were many nights I would stay up and not get sleep before school. Because I was worried she wouldn't make it through the night. Then when I would fall asleep in school I was in trouble. Though I still had good grades and even took advanced classes. Every time I would get punished for sleeping in class. I would just feel anger towards my mom. She would always walk around saying how she hopes she doesn't have cancer. How she should stop smoking.
I was even mad at her about the fact that we never really saw her much. She would leave to work before school started. She wouldn't make it home until it was late at night. So she would usually make her dinner. Then watch tv for a while in her room. Smoke her cigarettes and sleep. We would have rather spent more time with her. Than her working everyday. Even on weekends so we could have really nice things. That's probably why I never buy expensive clothes and stuff. I always felt bad when my mom would buy us anything that was too expensive. Knowing she worked so much over time just to buy it.
It really felt like I grew up without parents. I had no one to turn too for help with school work. Since my mom was never there. My dad moved to the other side of the country. Anytime off my mom had was her going on a date to meet a guy possible so she could find a husband.
Even after leaving home and going into the military. I hardly ever talked to my mom for almost 10 years. When people would bring up their parents I would normally avoid the conversations.
My sister would always gravitate towards her friends fathers. I know it was just because she wanted a dad. I could tell that's what she wanted as we grew up. I would often feel pretty envious of my friends when visiting their houses. Sometimes I would talk to their parents more than them. I also didn't like the looks I would get sometimes. Like they understood I wanted an adult to talk to. That there was probably no one at home for me to talk too. Like they felt bad and were being extra nice. Usually I would never go back to that persons house again. Because I felt bad.
Not until I was around 30 did we really have a serious conversation. She said she always felt guilty about her divorce with our dad. So she constantly worked to try and make sure we had whatever she wanted. Then she also felt guilty because my sister was usually pretty vocal about not having a dad. She could never tell what I was thinking because she said I shut myself off emotionally to everyone after her first divorce. She said she could see how it effected me and my sister. So another reason she worked so much is because it hurt her to see us change so much. She said we didn't seem happy anymore and it felt like it was all her fault. I actually feel bad for my mom now. She is still single and I can tell she wishes she was married. No matter how much I try to push her. She never goes out to meet anyone. She seems like she is really bitter and depressed most of the time. Unless she sees my sisters kids. That's the only time she really seems to be happy. My sister has kids but she never married their father. All 4 have the same father. She constantly pushes him away. I actually feel bad for the guy.
Maybe that's why this drama was so frustrating to watch. It had me thinking back about the past often. This was a drama that I was all to ready for it to be over. Definitely a one time only watch for me.
I know personally I just stopped trusting people. I didn't even want to date or get into relationships. Still at the age of 36 I find it hard to trust others. When i'm actually in a relationship. I'm constantly trying to make sure everything perfect. Instead of actually enjoying the relationship. Especially after seeing my parents divorce. Since I never want to get divorced. I have never actually taken the leap to get married. I usually distance myself from the other person when it gets to that point. Which is why I decided to stop dating all together.
Unlike Yian Ji. In my circle of friends i'm on of the only ones with parents that have divorced. I am all to familiar with being able to tell if someones parents divorced when they were younger. Even when it comes to my closest family members. My mom was the only one that got a divorce. Actually my mom has had multiple divorces throughout my childhood.
My sister on the other hand rushes into relationships all the time. Just because she says she never wants to feel like she's left alone. Even if she just ended a relationship she will rush into another one. She also has never married. She has told me many times it's because our mom got divorced so many times. She doesn't see the point in trusting someone to stay faithful.
I don't think people are out blaming their parents. They just probably think they would have made different decisions about relationships. If they had both parents around while growing up. Not everyone thinks the choices they have made in their lives are failures. Personally I don't think any of my past relationships have been failures. I just feel like not everyone in life ends up getting married.
For a long time as a kid I resented my mom. Her 2 brothers and 2 sisters all where married and my cousins had both their parents. I always felt like me, my sister, and mom where the weird ones during family gatherings. It also felt weird that she would take us to see the parents of a couple of her exes while growing up. I never understood why she stayed in contact with them.
Then again I remember worrying about her. If she was sick. Hearing her coughing late at night. Feeling scared that I wouldn't know what to do if she couldn't stop coughing. But knowing that I was the oldest. There were many nights I would stay up and not get sleep before school. Because I was worried she wouldn't make it through the night. Then when I would fall asleep in school I was in trouble. Though I still had good grades and even took advanced classes. Every time I would get punished for sleeping in class. I would just feel anger towards my mom. She would always walk around saying how she hopes she doesn't have cancer. How she should stop smoking.
I was even mad at her about the fact that we never really saw her much. She would leave to work before school started. She wouldn't make it home until it was late at night. So she would usually make her dinner. Then watch tv for a while in her room. Smoke her cigarettes and sleep. We would have rather spent more time with her. Than her working everyday. Even on weekends so we could have really nice things. That's probably why I never buy expensive clothes and stuff. I always felt bad when my mom would buy us anything that was too expensive. Knowing she worked so much over time just to buy it.
It really felt like I grew up without parents. I had no one to turn too for help with school work. Since my mom was never there. My dad moved to the other side of the country. Anytime off my mom had was her going on a date to meet a guy possible so she could find a husband.
Even after leaving home and going into the military. I hardly ever talked to my mom for almost 10 years. When people would bring up their parents I would normally avoid the conversations.
My sister would always gravitate towards her friends fathers. I know it was just because she wanted a dad. I could tell that's what she wanted as we grew up. I would often feel pretty envious of my friends when visiting their houses. Sometimes I would talk to their parents more than them. I also didn't like the looks I would get sometimes. Like they understood I wanted an adult to talk to. That there was probably no one at home for me to talk too. Like they felt bad and were being extra nice. Usually I would never go back to that persons house again. Because I felt bad.
Not until I was around 30 did we really have a serious conversation. She said she always felt guilty about her divorce with our dad. So she constantly worked to try and make sure we had whatever she wanted. Then she also felt guilty because my sister was usually pretty vocal about not having a dad. She could never tell what I was thinking because she said I shut myself off emotionally to everyone after her first divorce. She said she could see how it effected me and my sister. So another reason she worked so much is because it hurt her to see us change so much. She said we didn't seem happy anymore and it felt like it was all her fault. I actually feel bad for my mom now. She is still single and I can tell she wishes she was married. No matter how much I try to push her. She never goes out to meet anyone. She seems like she is really bitter and depressed most of the time. Unless she sees my sisters kids. That's the only time she really seems to be happy. My sister has kids but she never married their father. All 4 have the same father. She constantly pushes him away. I actually feel bad for the guy.
Maybe that's why this drama was so frustrating to watch. It had me thinking back about the past often. This was a drama that I was all to ready for it to be over. Definitely a one time only watch for me.