8893mm

As someone who lost my mom at the age of 10, I think everytime Aesun misses her mom, I see myself too. I lost count on how many times I told myself “ha, thats true.”, “the pain is real”, “i can relate”. I see that kid in me that longs for her mother, wondering how life would have been if she was here. Now in my 30s, that kid in me still misses her mom, I think that’s why people who lost their parents at a young age will always be like a kid when they get sad.

Aesun cries like a baby and I do too when I miss my mom. When something bad happens, I sat down and talk to my mom. What if I have someone I could cry on too and tell story of what I’ve been through. I miss my mom like that just like Aesun. I never talked about it with my dad cause I don’t want him to feel like he has to fill that gap, I never felt abandoned because he did his best - he was never lacking. It’s just that a mother’s love is something only a mother can give. And you can see that in the story. A mother’s love was different.

As Aesun, a mother who lost a child will always wonder how her son would be when he grows old. I am that child just like Aesun, who lost her mother, and always wonder how it would like growing up with her. To go home to a mother who knows what you’re feeling even if you don’t speak. The story was crazily accurate also, cause I also had a time with my Mom weeks before she died, telling me to live a good life. I still remember it vividly. So when I was watching that scene, I fucking feel like that was me. Now that I’m an adult, I still call mom when life is tough, I often say sorry if I’m living a life still trying to make her proud. But I think that spot she left, become a wall that made me stronger.

I believe Aesun makes her Mom proud.

Writing this review makes me feel like I finally have someone to talk about it. Watching this drama makes me feel like, finally, someone told my story. I never felt comfortable telling people this is how sad to grow old without a Mom. This drama did.

To everyone who lost their parents and are longing for them with unfathomable pain, thinking how life would have been if we walk this life in a path they’ve already walked on, here’s to all you’ve been through. I hope you take time to stop too. I know “it’s okay” is not the most consoling word, but “how are you?” is. So to you, how are you?

Thank you to the creator, writer, director and casts for not doing the drama recklessly. Thank you for actually telling a real story. I hope everyone chooses to go on even when life gives you tangerines.

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