rosea.

It's difficult to remember the last time I cried so much watching a movie or TV Show, but When Life Gives You Tangerines is in a league of its own.

The drama explores love, yes; and in the first few episodes you might assume it is ultimately the story of Ae-sun and Gwan-sik. In some ways that may be true - but the heart of the show is a different kind of love entirely.

There is a striking line around episode 5; “Parents dwell on what they couldn’t give, while children dwell on what they couldn’t get” . It is difficult to find a love more pure or unconditional than the love parents hold toward their children. In your successes and your failures they will always fight your corner, whether you deserve it or not, because they love you. That's all. If anyone else had treated Gwan-sik or Ae-sun as ungratefully as their children it would be absurd to suggest that they would be so selfless toward them regardless, but parents don't protect us because its rational. They do it because it's their duty. Because they love us.

Ae-sun's mother regretted that not even her daughter's paternal family thought she was worthy of the same food they ate; that she had to be vice president because her mother wasn't wealthy. Ae-sun regretted that she couldn't send her daughter to study abroad; that she wasn't suitable to marry someone born on the mainland even though she went to SNU. Geum-Myeong, too, though more subtly, felt inadequate; she regretted having the money but not the time to spend on her daughter. No matter how hard our parents try to give us what they can; there is always somewhere they'll fall short, and inevitably when we see other parents who give their children what we lack, we grow envious and resentful - not realising the sacrifice our families make to give us a life better than their own.

From Eun-myeong getting on a fishing boat and realising what his father had to go through, to Geum-Myeong's conversations with her father where she realised what her mother endured being a parent so young, and losing a child, we see the power of perspective. If they had known what their parents had given up to give them what they had; to give them something better; they wouldn't have dreamed of being so critical. But just as our parents will never admit how hard things are to us, they don't want us to feel burdened or indebted. They do it because they love us; they don't want repayment. That's why Gwan-sik never spent the money Geum-Myeong sent him; why Ae-Sun's mother was so frustrated that her daughter tried to take care of her rather than being taken care of.

For me, the pinnacle of these themes is conversation between Geum-Myeong and Gwan-sik in the hospital. The middle aged Gwan-sik with his daughter, now a mother, who looks identical to a young Ae-Sun. Geum-Myeong who was the bastion of Ae-Sun's shattered dreams; who despite having everything that her mother wanted as a child, and couldn't be given, Gwan-sik still felt guilty toward for not being able to provide more. And perhaps that's why Gwan-sik opens up to Geum-Myeong. Why he tells her how guilty he feels towards Ae-Sun. Through admitting it to Geum-myeong it's as if he can tell Ae-Sun without really telling her. What is more remarkable, is that Geum-Myeong as a parent herself can now understand better just how much her parents went through. How they weathered all of their storms, and how hard it must have been.

And how ironic it is at the end that although Gwan-sik gave Geum-Myeong everything he once wanted to give Ae-Sun; he still felt guilty that he couldn't give her more. That Ae-Sun felt that same guilt despite giving her daughter the freedom to live the dreams that were stolen from her.

But the irony pervades our whole society. Until we become parents ourselves - or grow up enough to truly understand the harsh realities of adulthood - we never truly appreciate just how much has been invested into us solely because we are loved unconditionally. We all owe a debt to our parents that we will never be able to repay, but it is also a debt that we aren't supposed to.

So next time you lament your portion in life and your parents' role in allocating it; first ask yourselves what had to happen to first put you there. The next time you feel like being ungrateful - remember what it is you have to be grateful for.

Call your parents.