Okay, I can not get over this show tbh. I want a couple of things in the already long list of things spoken here.
I am slightly irked by statements, that continue with their assumption that before breakup it was only Kang Seo Joon who put in all or at least most of the work compared to Han Ji Woo.
SJ probably did a lot more in reconciling their relationship post-breakup for sure, but from whatever flashbacks we see (except for the not-flashbacks we come to know about later), the two had offered different things into the relationship that was very important and both did their best. Yes, SJ had to stave off his work very often (if not all the time) to make time for JW, even avoiding parties with friends and colleagues at times. He also tried to make JW's life with him as comfortable as possible, like buying him a car to commute.
But JW also had put in the work. Be it housework, which for some reason we often neglect to consider when it comes to portrayal of queer relationships, or moving in with SJ even though it's far away from his place, and even giving up his house as it was mentioned in the first episode. I would argue that JW made his entire life revolve around SJ, since he had almost nothing else outside of SJ other than his workplace which was also not that important considering how easily he left it post-break. Even the friends that we know he had in first season either fell out of touch for different reasons like Kim Hyung Ki and Lee Yoon Seul or like Kim Pil Hyun were more close to SJ than him.
None of that is SJ's fault, just that JW was lonely person from the start of his relationship. I still remember thinking during the ending of first season how he and Kim Hyung Ki reconciled and continued their friendship, because the value that sort of relationship despite the betrayal can not be understated.
There was also a comment somewhere that said that it was JW who needed SJ and not the other way round, which is also bullshit, considering how SJ's life despite all the friends and support he receives (aside from the horrible treatment from his parents) he was an absolute mess without JW. They both need each other, but it was not the lack of the other person that was the problem, but the fact that one barely had a life outside. They both need others around them, and SJ understood this when he complained about not even being left to feel lonely by his friends even after JW left him.
This is a very essential fact we often forget, despite being social animals. We might have a loved one and there might not be issues with them, but if we are not liked, valued or feel accepted by people around us or have don't social circles that do, we are going to feel empty and lonely no matter what.
And in the reconciliation, I love the fact that it took him a rediscovery of a community he never knew he had or thought he deserved, and a realisation that he can have a life apart from SJ, for him to take start taking the first steps forward to make up with SJ. And love how the two eventually decided to divide their time between their work and themselves, to keep their relationship running. That's what they always needed. To those dismissing the reconciliation as rushed, really need to rewatch these subtle cues that were served to us by the director.
I like how this show warns us through JW against the tendency to romanticise the act of completely letting ourselves be subsumed in the life of those we love. It is unhealthy from the get go.
well you should consider changing because you/that sucks ngl
Which part exactly? The JW part of me or the SJ part of me. Because I know that I can easily be the other person, and so can literally every other person in a relationship. You can be lonely in a relationship, but you are expected to put up with it because the other person is so good. You could also get carried away by the happiness that a relationship affords you to the point where you actively overlook how overwhelming you can be to the other person. This is not a competition or a judgement on who is right or wrong.
First let me say that I laud your courage to come here and talk about yourself. You are brave and have my respect.…
Thanks. Don't know if it's bravery or desperation, but today's episode just gave me a brief glimpse into Ji Woo and that made me write this. Because I think most people just do not get what it feels like to be lonely in a relationship (of whatever nature it be). It is not something most people try to understand even if they go through it themselves, especially if the other person making them feel that way is someone like Seo Joon who goes overboard with their affection and love. And even less of an effort is made to understand how debilitating it can be to someone who has very few or even no close friends irl that they can speak to. It's the loneliest of existence to live like that.
I am sure there is more to the story, and I feel like JW is lying about him not feeling anything for SJ (if it's not then the whole first episode, SJ's shirt in his bedroom and all the other things hinting at his continued affection are meaningless), but I really think we need a proper JW pov of the relationship that we were not afforded even in the first season.
I registered in this website to post this comment, because how many people are missing a massive cue that has been dropped on us in episode 6.
When Ji Woo said he was lonely with Seo Joon, even more than when he was actually alone, broke my heart. Because I know EXACTLY how it feels. It's suffocating. Almost like your lungs are being constricted. I feel exactly like that every day I stay with my parents, no fault of theirs OR mine.
They have worked really hard to make me happy, let me live my life and even dedicated much of their life towards making that. But increasingly there is an inability to communicate with them. No matter how much I try they are incapable of understanding what I go through, without them blaming themselves for my issues. So what do people like us, introverts who have always had it difficult to communicate, do? We stop talking and expressing, because we do not want to make them worry and suffer because of that.
And where does that put us? In a place sharing a home with people in front of whom we can't have a day where we even look sad without them taking it personally. This also starts eroding at our love for them, because their presence becomes imprisoning for us.
I don't intend to justify how Ji Woo ended things with Seo Joon. But I see where he comes from, when he left. What's worse? I can see completely, and I mean it, what Seo Joon is going through and all the things that he did during his relationship and after the break up. Because I have been told before that I can be very suffocating to live with because of my tendency to helicopter someone if I feel loved and happy because of them.
Honestly, this show has me feeling all sorts of way. The impact is huge, because I see myself in both of them. I would ask everyone to have patience if you feel agitated by the plot or Ji Woo's character. I can't think of a manner in which relatable characters were created in a slow burn but impactful story that wrecked me so much, since Wong Kar Wai's Happy Together. Hopefully this show has a happier ending, even if it ends in their break up, a resolution from which we can all learn.
I am slightly irked by statements, that continue with their assumption that before breakup it was only Kang Seo Joon who put in all or at least most of the work compared to Han Ji Woo.
SJ probably did a lot more in reconciling their relationship post-breakup for sure, but from whatever flashbacks we see (except for the not-flashbacks we come to know about later), the two had offered different things into the relationship that was very important and both did their best. Yes, SJ had to stave off his work very often (if not all the time) to make time for JW, even avoiding parties with friends and colleagues at times. He also tried to make JW's life with him as comfortable as possible, like buying him a car to commute.
But JW also had put in the work. Be it housework, which for some reason we often neglect to consider when it comes to portrayal of queer relationships, or moving in with SJ even though it's far away from his place, and even giving up his house as it was mentioned in the first episode. I would argue that JW made his entire life revolve around SJ, since he had almost nothing else outside of SJ other than his workplace which was also not that important considering how easily he left it post-break. Even the friends that we know he had in first season either fell out of touch for different reasons like Kim Hyung Ki and Lee Yoon Seul or like Kim Pil Hyun were more close to SJ than him.
None of that is SJ's fault, just that JW was lonely person from the start of his relationship. I still remember thinking during the ending of first season how he and Kim Hyung Ki reconciled and continued their friendship, because the value that sort of relationship despite the betrayal can not be understated.
There was also a comment somewhere that said that it was JW who needed SJ and not the other way round, which is also bullshit, considering how SJ's life despite all the friends and support he receives (aside from the horrible treatment from his parents) he was an absolute mess without JW. They both need each other, but it was not the lack of the other person that was the problem, but the fact that one barely had a life outside. They both need others around them, and SJ understood this when he complained about not even being left to feel lonely by his friends even after JW left him.
This is a very essential fact we often forget, despite being social animals. We might have a loved one and there might not be issues with them, but if we are not liked, valued or feel accepted by people around us or have don't social circles that do, we are going to feel empty and lonely no matter what.
And in the reconciliation, I love the fact that it took him a rediscovery of a community he never knew he had or thought he deserved, and a realisation that he can have a life apart from SJ, for him to take start taking the first steps forward to make up with SJ. And love how the two eventually decided to divide their time between their work and themselves, to keep their relationship running. That's what they always needed. To those dismissing the reconciliation as rushed, really need to rewatch these subtle cues that were served to us by the director.
I like how this show warns us through JW against the tendency to romanticise the act of completely letting ourselves be subsumed in the life of those we love. It is unhealthy from the get go.
I am sure there is more to the story, and I feel like JW is lying about him not feeling anything for SJ (if it's not then the whole first episode, SJ's shirt in his bedroom and all the other things hinting at his continued affection are meaningless), but I really think we need a proper JW pov of the relationship that we were not afforded even in the first season.
When Ji Woo said he was lonely with Seo Joon, even more than when he was actually alone, broke my heart. Because I know EXACTLY how it feels. It's suffocating. Almost like your lungs are being constricted. I feel exactly like that every day I stay with my parents, no fault of theirs OR mine.
They have worked really hard to make me happy, let me live my life and even dedicated much of their life towards making that. But increasingly there is an inability to communicate with them. No matter how much I try they are incapable of understanding what I go through, without them blaming themselves for my issues. So what do people like us, introverts who have always had it difficult to communicate, do? We stop talking and expressing, because we do not want to make them worry and suffer because of that.
And where does that put us? In a place sharing a home with people in front of whom we can't have a day where we even look sad without them taking it personally. This also starts eroding at our love for them, because their presence becomes imprisoning for us.
I don't intend to justify how Ji Woo ended things with Seo Joon. But I see where he comes from, when he left. What's worse? I can see completely, and I mean it, what Seo Joon is going through and all the things that he did during his relationship and after the break up. Because I have been told before that I can be very suffocating to live with because of my tendency to helicopter someone if I feel loved and happy because of them.
Honestly, this show has me feeling all sorts of way. The impact is huge, because I see myself in both of them. I would ask everyone to have patience if you feel agitated by the plot or Ji Woo's character. I can't think of a manner in which relatable characters were created in a slow burn but impactful story that wrecked me so much, since Wong Kar Wai's Happy Together. Hopefully this show has a happier ending, even if it ends in their break up, a resolution from which we can all learn.