Sometimes the happiest scenes never happen. But we still need to believe they can.
I'm pretty sure this movie was supposed to make me sob my soul out, but that is not what happened. It broke my heart into a million pieces. It emotionally destroyed me. I will be thinking about this movie for a very, very long time. But did I sob? No. I didn't sob because this was like a very slow heart attack. I think that's the best way I can describe it. It was a two-hour movie and throughout the entire movie, it was just a slow and steady sense of dread. Even in the beginning when the scenes were happy and joyful, you could tell that something horrible and sad and heavy was coming up because the environment, the tension was always there. And maybe because I know the history of the movie and I knew what to be prepared for, but overall, the foreboding sense of dread was very, very strong.
What really got to me was the last 10 to 15 minutes because after going through a whole, like, two hours of pain and suffering and a little bit of joy, but mainly pain and suffering, we get somewhat of a closure. I personally wouldn't call it a happy ending. It's a very sad ending, to be very fair, but it gives you hope. It's not even a hopeful ending, but it still gives you hope that maybe one day, time fixes everything, that you do get to be happy, that maybe life corrects itself. It is how you interpret it. And those 10 minutes of the two main characters having just such a pure connection, it wasn't a romantic scene, no, but it was two good friends coming together yet again. And that is what broke me. And for the first time, I experienced the situation or scenario of almost sobbing, but not really. Like, I had silent tears pouring out of my eyes because my heart was healing itself in a very, very slow process.
The thing that broke me the most was remembering that this was based on a real life, and this whole story was based on the director's real life. Because I'd known about this movie for a very long time, and I had forgotten this fact. So when I finished the movie and I tried to go and do some, just look at the cast and directors and stuff, I come upon this fact. And this is when I find out for the first time that the last ten minutes of the movie, the one scene in the movie that actually made me, made my emotions cross the line of crying, was a scene that never happened in real life. It's so painful to imagine that all of this is based on a real story, and just the last ten minutes of joy did not even happen because the director never got to meet his buddy ever again. The story ended when they were last together. That's the end. But the director was generous enough to give us somewhat of a happy scene at the end. Just to remind us that yeah, love exists and maybe you can move on and everything heals with time. But in reality, that's not what happened to him. And that was the saddest fact about this whole movie.
There's a lot of wonderful dialogues that are in the movie, but my personal favorite one is "if being queer takes you to hell, then send me there, maybe people there will understand me better". As somebody part of the LGBT community, I constantly make jokes about the fact that I'm going to hell because I'm gay and that's where I'll end up. But I say it both cynically and comedically at the same time, because I do find it funny that people who love so purely can go to hell. I just don't ever understand the concept because love is a very pure thing and at the same time, I do understand how religion plays a role here. I do get it. So this dialogue was like a knife to the heart. It's funny, but at the same time, if I do end up in hell, just because I love somebody of the same gender, it's a relief to think that, yeah, there will be other people who will understand me better, that I won't be alone, even in hell.
I really appreciate the director giving some form of hope at the end. Even though they did not get it in their own life, they choose to give it to other people, and that itself shows you how loved and pure they are, and not a sinner because they're gay. They will go to heaven and so will everyone go loves with a pure heart.
What really got to me was the last 10 to 15 minutes because after going through a whole, like, two hours of pain and suffering and a little bit of joy, but mainly pain and suffering, we get somewhat of a closure. I personally wouldn't call it a happy ending. It's a very sad ending, to be very fair, but it gives you hope. It's not even a hopeful ending, but it still gives you hope that maybe one day, time fixes everything, that you do get to be happy, that maybe life corrects itself. It is how you interpret it. And those 10 minutes of the two main characters having just such a pure connection, it wasn't a romantic scene, no, but it was two good friends coming together yet again. And that is what broke me. And for the first time, I experienced the situation or scenario of almost sobbing, but not really. Like, I had silent tears pouring out of my eyes because my heart was healing itself in a very, very slow process.
The thing that broke me the most was remembering that this was based on a real life, and this whole story was based on the director's real life. Because I'd known about this movie for a very long time, and I had forgotten this fact. So when I finished the movie and I tried to go and do some, just look at the cast and directors and stuff, I come upon this fact. And this is when I find out for the first time that the last ten minutes of the movie, the one scene in the movie that actually made me, made my emotions cross the line of crying, was a scene that never happened in real life. It's so painful to imagine that all of this is based on a real story, and just the last ten minutes of joy did not even happen because the director never got to meet his buddy ever again. The story ended when they were last together. That's the end. But the director was generous enough to give us somewhat of a happy scene at the end. Just to remind us that yeah, love exists and maybe you can move on and everything heals with time. But in reality, that's not what happened to him. And that was the saddest fact about this whole movie.
There's a lot of wonderful dialogues that are in the movie, but my personal favorite one is "if being queer takes you to hell, then send me there, maybe people there will understand me better". As somebody part of the LGBT community, I constantly make jokes about the fact that I'm going to hell because I'm gay and that's where I'll end up. But I say it both cynically and comedically at the same time, because I do find it funny that people who love so purely can go to hell. I just don't ever understand the concept because love is a very pure thing and at the same time, I do understand how religion plays a role here. I do get it. So this dialogue was like a knife to the heart. It's funny, but at the same time, if I do end up in hell, just because I love somebody of the same gender, it's a relief to think that, yeah, there will be other people who will understand me better, that I won't be alone, even in hell.
I really appreciate the director giving some form of hope at the end. Even though they did not get it in their own life, they choose to give it to other people, and that itself shows you how loved and pure they are, and not a sinner because they're gay. They will go to heaven and so will everyone go loves with a pure heart.
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