CSyde

Honestly speaking, it was hard. It took years to read and even try to understand the Bible. I had to stop and start many times. I had to fast-read. I spoke incorrectly; I read the Bible, but I shouldn't have said I understood it.
That's why I can't quote like you.
I admit this.

But please: disregard what other people think sometimes. Go into your own inner self and then think a way out.

Sorry, this is beyond the drama. Sorry for commenting like this.

Thank you for allowing me to understand why you like dark romance. I appreciate it.
This is how I can learn to understand better.

Thank you.

I am always eager to listen to others and respect their thought process.

Thank you.

Because I am such a nerd, my sister gave me "The Picture of Dorian Gray". Do you remember what the ending was? Was there a redemption arc in this novel?

How foolish are those who only see from one side? Who will look at themselves in a mirror that truly reflects them? Who are you to decide and depict what will happen next? At least I know I can't.

I only point out certain issues. I am not here to fight.

I can understand that you are well-read, but don't think others are less read than you.
I am not a hater. However, please stop quoting others and think for yourself. Just because you think you have read more books, so have I. Just because I don't agree with certain points of your evaluation doesn't mean I disagree with you completely.

Regardless of what you wrote and what I wrote, I only said it is not "Vital". Think about the society Oscar Wilde lived in when he wrote his books. He was truly a great artist. However, society accepted his views at THAT time. Today is a new society.
Therefore, I stand by my statement: It is not VITAL.

The word VITAL is what I disagreed with. I could have been harsher, but I chose not to. This is me being rational.

==
Furthermore, I am glad you are enjoying this drama. I don't disagree with you regarding what you think is a good drama. It is a good drama for you, but it is not my cup of tea. I agree to disagree.

The only point I was trying to make was NOT to disregard the sugarcoating of the ML's harm.

Yes, domestic violence happened a long time before streaming, television, etc. You are right on that point.
However, honestly, does everyone understand how destitute people live? Does everyone really scrutinise the information they're given? I don't even think I understand it.

By replying, you help me spread the word: ABUSE is INCORRECT.

The word VITAL cannot be used easily. I don't believe that VITAL can be used in this context of a SEXUAL ABUSER.
And to be quite frank, I still believe copycats may misuse other people's words to justify hurting others. IT is still in the news right now.

Thank you.
What you have said is why many people love this drama.

However, what you have expressed is that you detest abusers, right? Can't romanticise their radical behaviour.

@Ail this is not a reaction against you:

Actually, my Dad was quite nice to me. I left home. I went to seek another path away from people who were trying to protect their little sister (my aunt). They felt that SHE NEEDED HIM (the BASTARD). Her family needed him. I left home after being fully qualified, and because I studied so much, I tried to earn top grades. Thankfully, I did. That's why I think knowledge is everything.

My father became a better father. He understood what he did was wrong. He disowned THAT bastard and his own sister. I stood up against him because I was intelligent enough to earn my standing in everyone's eyes. I did not react like the little girl who didn't know and then just tried to blame perpetrators who hurt me, thinking that this made me unable to become successful. I studied hard. I became better. I learned and created a better self inspite of the circumstances placed upon me. I earned money. Yes, money doesn't mean everything. But without money, I could do nothing.
I created my own freedom. I don't harm others. However, regardless of where I stand in anything, I can still HATE THE CHARACTER.

Regarding my father and his later reactions, I felt, "Wow, I can't do that." I can't ever disown my siblings. But it felt like too little, too late. Despite the road he chose, I still love my father. He became a better, loving father, even if he was less talkative with me. But he did it through actions. Is this what drama discussers regard as a "REDEEMING ARC"? My father and I don't talk about the past. When the past came up, he got defensive, and then I quarrelled with him. Regardless, I chose to let go of what my dad did. But I will never let go of my abuser.

Also, the good part is: I left to learn more. The further I went away, the less I thought about how I was abused. I started to excel in my career.

This is what I think. Stop at the problem first. Regardless of gender or who people are. ABUSERS ARE MONSTERS. A redemption arc is only fictional. Don't normalise the CHARACTER and the ABUSE. This can actually create a lot of domestic violence unless someone speaks out.

It actually takes decades to recover from being abused. I am not sure if I have recovered.
I am just speaking out.

Also, I tried to keep myself away from the uncle-in-law (abuser). IT is hard to hate, but I truly hate him for his abuse of me and everything else he did to others.

There is no redeeming arc in real life. There is only tragedy.
Those who actually faced MONSTERS just try to pick themselves up from what happened.

I doubt that my cousin could live happily with such a bad father. This is not her fault; it is her father's. She did not abuse me; her father did.

After abuse, there is only hate. Hate for why it happened to me. Hate for why someone can even do such bad things. It's easy to love because I, too, love people (like my family). I honestly just hate my abuser. IT IS VERY HARD TO HATE. TRY IT.

Therefore, I still state: don't say that the ML is NOT a monster. Define for yourselves what constitutes a being described as a MONSTER.
If you can find definitive words to explain why THE Character is not a MONSTER, please enlighten me.

Trying and getting there.

No, I would only try to support my nieces and then fight against anyone who hurt them or even tried to hurt them.

That's why I am HATING THE CHARACTER: so that my nieces or any other child will not go through what I did. It was a long time ago. Information was less available, and even less available to a child. I literally searched: Sexual abuse on a child yesterday, just out of curiosity. Guess what the reply was? It went straight to the police, the help centres, etc. This tells me that if I were 10 today and had access to a computer, I could seek more help. The sad thing might be that I am thinking as an adult. IF I were still 10, would I even be able to type "Sexual Abuse"? Would I even understand the concept of Sexual Abuse? I capitalised S and A intentionally. It may not be quite grammatically correct to some readers, but I did so because I believe that offenders should understand that this deserves a term to be capitalised. Also, anyone with pink glasses in dramas who doesn't think the ML's character is a monster should understand that whilst you sit there behind the computer (hiding), other people who were abused use decades to rebuild their lives.
There is no redemption arc in real life. At least, that's what I saw.
Nothing happened to that bastard, my uncle-in-law. He lives within the same district as me. My aunties told me they would push his family away. Then COVID became their excuse.
I can't believe how such a bad person got away with it without any reprimand. Despite me telling all the adults that HE DID IT.
Guess what?
He went around, playing in his band and started sleeping with other women whilst being married to my aunty. The worst thing is, my aunty knew that he did such things.
That became another trauma.
My aunty was too weak to speak for herself. They also have children. His eldest daughter became an architect.
I confronted my aunty at one stage, yet the daughter who was an architect told me off. Again, another trauma. IT seems ridiculous, yet it is true. When I heard what my cousin said, she was protecting her father and trying to frame me for trying to create problems. The world started to crumble in front of me.

How can someone who got a degree in architecture - which means she should be well-read- say such things and blindly hurt others? I understand. She just wanted to protect her family. I don't think she didn't know about her bastard father, who abused other people and slept with so many women. She was in self-defence mode.

I cry as I write this.

I don't hate my cousin. I hate that bastard. I honestly want to take him to court, but I don't have evidence, and it has become beyond the Statutes of Limitations. I have no grounds to stand upon legally.

This is my story.

I respect your point of view because you are able to digest the information (from the drama), then read it for what it is, but still rationalise which parts you like and which parts you don't. For one, at least I get into these kinds of dramas too much because of the past. I am glad you found another way. I should also move beyond the past. But I speak up to try to make it more known, and abuse is not to be tolerated or normalised as acceptable. Fiction is still fiction; you are quite right.

I am not here to disagree with those who think redemption arcs CANNOT EXIST in fiction, etc. I am trying to make a point in REAL LIFE. Abusers are MONSTERS. Any "normal" person would not be able to commit atrocities and inflict such pain on others. I can't stress this point more.

@Just One More Episode, this remark is not pointing at you but at others less rational than you: Regardless of how good-looking Cheng Lei is and how good his acting is, the CHARACTER IS A MONSTER! If people don't recognise that, please take off your pink glasses. People are normalising the abuse a fictional character commits, and it creates scenarios for others to mimic in real life. This becomes a very real-life 'dark road' that people who don't criticise the character can create. This can be the minimal difference whereby fiction turns into reality - which is where 'the straw breaks the camel's back' (where society's norm is the "camel" and because people don't say negative things about abusers online is the "straw")

Thank you for being rational, @Just One More Episode. I specifically said my words weren't against you because I believe in your logical words.

I may offend others. But I don't want to offend you.

End of my soliloquy.

🤓
Nevertheless, no one can ever be forced to do horrible things. Money and power can be the biggest monsters. However, they can never create a monster unless it is already within them. I never wanted power or money above my siblings. I earned everything on my own. When they crossed over by intentionally harming WHAT THE ML DID TO FL, regardless of HIS so-called LOVE. IT was not LOVE; it was wanting to complete his obsession so that he could POSSESS her. WHAT IS LOVE? IT IS NOT POSSESSION. It can also mean letting go and letting them live a better life, rather than keeping them constantly at HIS side. This is love because, even though it may hurt the person giving the love, they still want the best for the person they love. Not imposing on other people. SAFETY BOUNDS. One can let those you love be free. No one has the right to keep others in possession. If you try to keep others forcefully by your side, then one is selfish. This, to me, equates to being bad.

Don't display irrational thinking just to make others believe.

Don't you ever try to rationalise certain things that can't be rationalised.

Don't even think that you could understand how an abused person thinks and how they try to grow. I try to grow.

That's why Cheng Lei is a good actor.

This drama is captivating.

Don't ever speak a positive view of an abuser in front of me unless you have been sexually abused yourself.
You are self-deprecating.

You don't offend me at all.
I understand the Bible. However, I like to read a lot of books because I am inquisitive.
This is how to survive. Read more, listen more, understand more.

Then no one can tell me that I am less knowledgeable, right?

I live to believe in myself.

Please also believe in yourself.
I am not remarkable. Everyone lives and strives to live by instinct. I was just in an environment where I could live like a cockroach. Have you ever done so?

Just because you quote the Bible doesn't mean you only just read the Bible. Others may think of you that way, but I don't think of you as such.
Don't let others limit your point of view just because of your religion. Honestly, because I am such a nerd, I read the Bible too. 🤓
I don't think this is bad or wrong. I think I am becoming more understanding.

I read all different books.
I don't believe in wrong or right.

❤️ I also wish that Stockholm Syndrome were just a fantasy. But our news tells us that it is real. I don't like it. Yet it exists. I can't stop it. The only thing that we small people can do is try to expose this kind of nonsense. Stockholm Syndrome SHOULDN'T EXIST ANY MORE. The more we tell others about it and the more they research, the less it happens because we all become aware.

This is knowledge being spread. Also, this is love being spread. 🤓

❤️

No need to fully agree. No one is right or wrong for sharing their views. I am glad you are a survivor too. Thank you for being alive!🤓

I can respect others who can enjoy this drama. Just because I can't, it doesn't mean the drama is bad. It's just that my tolerance level for this kind of thing is low.
Nevertheless, other people, like you, can enjoy this kind of entertainment.

I don't like to judge others and what they like to read or watch.
What you can enjoy, I can't. 🤓 So what? I am respectful of your comments. It actually makes me reflect. I think dramas are the new version of books in some ways. Others may watch it as a way to kill time. Some people like to analyse dramas and try to analyse them more deeply. Others, such as myself, feel deeply involved when I shouldn't be! I have recognised that this is not positive. I should self-reflect. What happened to me was different from what is happening in the drama (albeit the drama was set in the 1920s, way beyond my birth). Regardless of what has been written in comments and other platforms, perhaps many of us should think in 2026.

I would rather read your reviews later and then maybe try to absorb the drama from your point of view. I want to read how others perceive the drama. Even though I don't like it, I want to see why others like it.

Your comments allow for more experiential thinking. This is what this platform was made for. It allows me to self-reflect and then research more. Thank you.

Thanks. I was only a child. I hated that I was so stupid that I let him abuse me. I was a child, but even the adult me thinks, why couldn't I be smarter? I keep questioning myself. I hate the abuser so much.

But I agree with your thoughts. No one can ever force me to love my abuser unless I am so weak. This can become the "Stockholm Syndrome". Please do more research. This is bad.
That's why, if I put myself in her shoes, I would try to think about better outcomes/situations/answers. I would think about survival for everyone, not just myself. I do this in real life. I am able to share my views because I am able to stabilise my life.

Thank you. Even though I am just an unknown person, I only feel what I feel.

Please hate the abusers, but love the drama. There is a difference. 🥹
-----
At this point, I am revising my reply.

You are quite right; this drama is not for everyone. Obviously, it is not for me.
Nevertheless, I don't think it is a bad drama. From what you have said, perhaps it could be a good drama from other people's point of view. I just can't tolerate it. Doesn't mean it is bad,

However, can we agree on a point that other viewers have already expressed and I think you agree upon: MEN ARE NOT ALLOWED TO ABUSE WOMEN!

I read your (everyone's) words again. I felt some kind of kindling. I don't know why.
However, I think you can be correct from your point of view. Look at it from the other side.

I hated the bastard who sexually assaulted me when I was a child. I could not do anything about it. I was eighteen when I told my parents. Yet, my dad told me to "suck it up" because of the patriarchal life bestowed upon me. However, I became more well known and earned more money.

But who can remember that small child who was sexually abused by her uncle-in-law?
Who can remember the 18-year-old girl who frankly told her parents that she was sexually abused?
Who can remember that her parents chose to keep this a secret such that her daughter could never get up again without nightmares?

This is why I disagree with MALE abusers. I am not against Cheng Lei.
I read all of what you guys have tried to misquote. I read a lot.

I actually feel.

That's why I CAN'T agree.

I went through it, and I came out of it.

That's why I would like all of you to love the drama but HATE THE ML character. This can't be normalised. Otherwise, we are going backwards.

Everyone loves to normalise it and say, "Oh, hey, this is fiction." This is Christian from 50 Shades of Grey. This is this, and this is that.
But have you ever felt the brunt of this kind of abuse? Is this romance?
You can be amused by this kind of disgraceful abuse by male antagonist/protagonists because you never felt you were to be abused.

But by doing so, you're also promoting the idea that bad men can do bad things to their wives, daughters, nieces, etc.

Try to think bigger. Men are NOT ALLOWED TO HARM WOMEN. FULL STOP.
Just because MEN are physically bigger or have been taught they are somehow better than women in older, more traditional thinking. Come on. You guys are quoting well-known scholars. Yet, you are also engaging in a debate that involves a drama whereby the male lead/second male lead is abusing the female? What the hell? Can you even see the inconsistency in your thinking?

We are all well-read here. Stop making what is wrong into something that can be accepted.

Unless you have been abused, then stop talking like you can even accept anyone who would abuse you.

You can enjoy your drama and your fantasy world. But please, speak out that the ML/SML is WRONG in so many ways; also, the way that the FL reacts is not what someone who is abused again and again would. NO ONE who has a slight belief in herself would react this way.

At least, I can't.

Don't let history repeat itself.

I read your words again. I felt some kind of kindling. I don't know why.
However, I think you can be correct from your point of view. Look at it from the other side.

I hated the bastard that sexually assaulted me when I was a child. I could do not do anything about it. I was eighteen when I told my parents. Yet, my dad told me to "suck it up" because of the partriachal life bestowed upon me. However, I became more well known and earned more money.

But who can remember that small child who was abused by her uncle-in-law?
Who can remember the 18 year old girl who frankly told her parents that she was sexually abused?
Who can remember that her parents chose to keep this a secret such that her daughter could never get up again without nightmares?

This is why I disagree with MALE abusers. I am not against Cheng Lei.
I read all of what you guys have tried to misquote. I read a lot.

I actually feel.

That's why I CAN'T agree.

I went through it and I came out of it.

That's why, I would like all of you to love the drama but HATE THE ML character. This can't be normalised. Otherwise we are going backwards.

Agreeably, new and complex but NOT vital. Please understand which words you use.

Please stop quoting old writers where patriarchal melodies were just a common thing at their time.

We are well-read and beyond what you think.

Also, I am not a hater. But if you keep quoting well-known writers inappropriately, you are disrespecting them.

Please stop.

I am trying to minimise my replies in order not to help the propaganda.

I re-read your message.
Thank you for your deep seated reply.
Funnily enough, I am trying to see it through your point of view.

As I said, no one is right. It it just another point of view.

hahahaa.
I go for logic so I will contrast your debate through scrutinisation. However, I was trained to do so. Please excuse me.
I just know how to best use where my strengths are. I didn't mean to attack you.

As for this debate, I honestly hope that nothings goes bad. Not for the drama, not for any after repercussions.

Please enjoy the drama.

🥰