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You are a journalist and are currently interviewing a director of a series where the main pairing is homosexual - I ain't using the BL/LGBT tag here on purpose. You are sipping on your fav bevarage while discussing the drama when suddenly the director says ''I created this drama with LGBT community in mind. Nowdays there are a lot of LGBT dramas, but only few try to adress aspects such as we did''. As a journalist, you like the director, but the drama he had created is BL - by standards and 'rules' that society created. BUT the director himself called his work as a LGBT drama, not a BL one, even though by society standards it has the 'BL rules'. Now, what would you do? Would you correct the director and say, ''Sir, your work is a BL drama, not LGBT drama''. If you said that, the director might look at you puzzled and ask why his drama cannot be labeled as an LGBT one. Would you say straight to his eyes, that it is labeled as BL because it is idealized and has unrealistic situations? I wouldn't have the guts to say it to his face, honestly.
THIS is the insulting manner of separating the LGBT and BL. Because no director or writer is writing a work with homosexual pairing where they intentionally write unrealistic stuff or as you said idealized. And I repeat, not one director or writer. Each writer and director creates work with realism in their mind (except science-fiction or fantasty). Yes, the ending result might be trash, but this attributes to lack of maybe talent or experience. So, when people for example bash LBC2 nowdays and say how unrealistic it is, trust me, New nor Mame did not intentionally try to create something unrealistic. They genuinely believe, that such things can happen.
Truthfully, this disscusion will never come to a conlcusion because no one and I repeat no one can exactly say who is right. Even your words, are simply opinion, not a fact no matter how hard you try to protrait it.
Also, you have never touched in your response how I said that the Yaoi/Shounen-ai trademark has stopped being used in mangas - now it is all BL, which kinda proves my point, that indeed those are the same thing. I also mentioned how directors and journalists do use the two terms BL/LGBT with same meaning, which also proves my point that it truly just means 'boy's love' nothing else.
Edit : Also wanted to add that the term BL is in Thailand called Y which is shortened version of Yaoi, see where I am getting to?