ErisFerris3

Good morning, good evening,

I'm a 28-year-old French woman working for a Japanese company, and a hardcore drama watcher.

I speak French, English, and Japanese (don't ask me about kanji—we don't talk about that). I also understand Korean and studied Spanish for seven years. Notice I said I only understand Korean... and I very carefully did not say I speak Spanish.

My favorite japanese works are... MIU404, Ikebukuro West Gate Park, Nijiiro Karute, Unmet,  Sleepeeer Hit!, Suzuki-sensei, Cold Case, For N, The Invisible Craddle, Life As A Girl, Call Me by No-Name, Dearest, and Monster.

Korean works are... Solomon Perjury, The Guest, The Light in Your Eyes, Children Of Nobody, It's Okay That's Love,  I Hear Your Voice, Hello Monster, Dear My Friends,
To My Star, He Is Psychometric, Misaeng, and Reply 1988. 

Chinese works are... Better Days, Go Ahead, Nirvana In Fire, I Am Nobody, Hikaru No Go, Under the Skin, Welcome Back to Sound, You Are My Glory, Ultimate Note, Love Like the Galaxy, Remembrance of Things Past, and Reset.

Taiwanese works are... Oh No! Here Comes Trouble, Unknown, We Best Love, and Someday or One Day.

Thai works are... The Gifted (and Graduation), Khemjira, Bad Buddy, ThamePo,  A Tale Of Thousand Stars, High School Frenemy, Me and Thee, Enigma (and Black Stage), Moonlight Chicken, My School President,

Please don't hesitate to give some of these a try! They can be hit or miss, but I like to think at least one or two might end up on your own favorites list. ;)

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Let's talk drama history, since this is supposed to be a biography after all.

I think I started watching dramas when I was around 10 or 11. My very first one was either Hanakimi, HanaYori, or Tokyo Dogs.  It's weird that I don't remember, because I can tell you exactly what my first manga was (Fruits Basket, at 7 years old) and my first anime (Cardcaptor Sakura, in kindergarten). But dramas...? No idea.

Anyway, since I came from Mangaland and Animeland, I naturally started with J-dramas.

Then I discovered Taiwanese dramas. Then K-pop. Then K-dramas. Then Thai dramas. Then C-dramas. Then C-pop...

I'm keeping the chronological order here, but for Taiwanese dramas there were only three: Devil Beside You, Skip Beat and Black&White. The first two because they were manga adaptations, and the last because a friend told me it was similar to Tokyo Dogs.

Then came middle school, and the (very unknown at the time) K-pop wave hit me when I was around 13. Naturally, I started watching To The Beautiful You and Shut Up because... oppas. It was 2012.

I had already survived my weeb phase in primary school, so thankfully my brain was developed enough to completely skip the koreaboo phase.

Those were also the years of City Hunter, and Vampire Prosecutor... dramas I tried rewatching a few years ago and cringed so hard I couldn't even finish them.

At that point, it was over. I had fallen into the drama rabbit hole, and there was no climbing back out.

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Just like going from Japanese dramas to Korean dramas happened naturally, the transition to Thai and Chinese dramas was just as smooth.

For China, though... the first drama I actually finished was Nirvana in Fire.

Yes.

I couldn't finish a single Chinese drama before that. I either dropped them or left them on hold. It was 2015. High school! I'm not proud of myself.

Before that, though, came Thailand.

Because, of course... BL. The female weeb equivalent of making a blood pact under the moonlight.

Finishing all those toxic, creepy, and wildly unhealthy yaoi anime wasn't enough to quench my middle school thirst for "se*ual" content (content without girls, because that was unconfortable, and would need me to face my own sexual identity). Then high school started, and I stumbled across Thai dramas on YouTube. It was 2014, and Love Sick had me in a chokehold. Good times...

Actually, no. It wasn't "good." But I loved it with all my heart back then.

A friend and I rewatched SOTUS six years ago, and I couldn't believe how incredibly slow everything felt. Even so, years later I still adore every second of Noh and Phun whenever they appear in ReminderS. Nostalia is strong with this one.

Now I've grown older, understood myself better, and started trying to take a step back and advise people about what kind of LGBTQ+ content is worth consuming (but finishing by, do wtf the want).

Of course, that didn't happen in just a few years. Even today, I can still catch myself watching something deeply disturbing, overly sexualized, and toxic, only to realize much later that there was barely any storytelling behind it. But I didn't see it at first because I was too distracted by the pretty faces.

Not every "toxic" show is automatically "bad." If you want to write a scene involving sexual assault between two homosexual leads, then do it. But before and after that moment, there needs to be actual work put into the story. I need to understand why it happened. I need to see guilt, consequences, and an acknowledgment that what happened was wrong.

If the other character forgives them, I need to understand why. If they forgive because their partner was in an uncontrollable mental or emotional state, or because of some other circumstance, then the story needs to make me believe that this is a choice this character would realistically make. Show me that they are someone capable of making that decision, even if it is a difficult or questionable one.

But if the character is weak-willed, timid, has no self-esteem, and already has an unhealthy relationship with their partner, then don't try to convince me that their "forgiveness" is romantic when it is actually a result of them being trapped in a cycle of abuse.

Of course, a story can explore that too. Stories can absolutely portray victims who struggle to leave, who forgive, or who have complicated feelings toward their abuser. But then the narrative needs to acknowledge what is happening. Don't present it as if nothing happened. Don't turn it into a joke. And please don't frame it as something romantic.

Toxic people and toxic relationships can become incredible stories. Absolutely. A dark story is not automatically a bad story.

There is a difference between an old high school BL where the writer tries to convince us that sexual assault is a romantic first experience, and a modern dark BL where the characters are criminals who hurt and manipulate each other as part of a story about violence, power, and corruption. The second one is not saying, "This is the perfect love story you should aspire to." It is saying, "These are terrible people, and this is what their world looks like."

Anyways.

You would be surprised by how many lesbians love BL shows, male idol groups, and other forms of media that aren't centered around women.

I do.

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Looking back, I'm honestly amazed that liking dramas led me to discover so many countries and cultures that are completely different from my own.

For C-pop, I first listened to EXO members' solo songs, but I really fell into it thanks to Idol Producer, and TFBoys.  

I loved their dramas Finding Soul, and Boyhood.

They debuted so young that I somehow developed this weird motherly instinct toward them.

Of course... that's kind of the whole business model.

Debut kids young enough, and you'll attract fans their age, slightly older fans who think they're cute or handsome, and people like me, who just want to watch them do their best like they're a younger cousin or nephew. Starting them young means you shape their public image, and often their entire worldview, from the very beginning.

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Since then, I've just kept watching dramas, learned Japanese and Korean, and now work for a Japanese company where I use Japanese every day.

Surprisingly, adapting to Japanese workplace culture came very naturally. Years of watching J-dramas probably helped more than anyone could have expected (myself included).

I genuinely think dramas made me curious about people from different cultures. That curiosity eventually turned into real-life experiences—and, hopefully, with a lot more maturity than I would have had otherwise.

Of course, reality is nothing like what's on screen. People who tell you otherwise are lying.

I've worked with Japanese and Taiwanese colleagues, as well as Argentinian, Algerian, German, Cameroonian, Italian, Spanish, English, American, Austrian, Norwegian, and Ukrainian...

And it works the same way for everyone. As in that every single person is different.

You'll sometimes find surprising similarities with people from the other side of the world, and discover that you're fundamentally different from the one who grew up just across the border.

Just because someone looks like you, you have the same language roots, or shares your ancestry doesn't mean they'll think the way you do.

And the opposite is true as well.

Watching 300 K-dramas doesn't mean you know how Korean people think any more than watching 300 American TV shows means you understand every American you'll meet. "Stories can spark curiosity. They can give you context. But they can never replace getting to know real people."

I'm not saying you'll never encounter situations that resemble dramas, or that certain character archetypes don't exist. They absolutely do. But living those situations yourself is completely different from watching actors perform them.

So enjoy your dramas, stay curious, and keep an open mind. Just don't become overconfident because you've watched hundreds of them.

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That said...

If watching dramas makes you want to meet people from another country, go for it.

There is no bad reason to become interested in another culture. Even if your only motivation is "I want to visit Korea because I like pretty K-pop boys," that's perfectly fine.

As long as you arrive with respect, polite curiosity, and an open mind that's willing to accept that your own common sense isn't universal.

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Respect is everything.

You're a guest in someone else's home.

Follow their rules—even the ones you personally wouldn't have chosen.

Of course, stay safe and protect yourself.

But please, be respectful.

Do your research.

Observe before you judge.

If you visit a Japanese temple and they ask you to remove your shoes, but you refuse because you have athlete's foot... then maybe you should have realized beforehand that this wasn't the right place for you. Don't try to argue them into a corner. You might win, but the person who welcomed you in good faith will be the one who pays the price.

If a Korean auntie starts yelling at you in a market, look around. If every other auntie is yelling too, and nobody seems bothered... It's probably just Tuesday. So don't start making annoyed faces or glaring at people. Take a moment to read the room before assuming someone is being rude.

If a group of giggling Chinese schoolgirls secretly takes your picture on the subway, you can calmly type into your phone:

"I know you didn't mean any harm, but taking my picture makes me uncomfortable. Could you please delete it?"

...and let the translation speak for you. Don't immediately start screaming about racism (though depending on how you look, and where you're from, you will experience it). Not because taking someone's picture without permission isn't rude. It absolutely is. But because sometimes people genuinely don't realize how uncomfortable it can make "you", who is so different from them they wonder if you're the same species, feel. Remember that your common sense isn't everyone else's.

And remember that you're the foreigner in their country.

Even when you're right, your attitude matters.

Especially when you're right.

In countries where social harmony and politeness are highly valued, it often takes quite a lot for someone to openly mistreat a foreigner. If someone is willing to do that, there's a chance they're a very unpleasant person who's used to getting away with it.

So before getting into a fight with that rude old guy who spit on you, remember where you are. You're in a place where everyone else speaks the local language, not yours; looks like everyone around them, not you; and will often, consciously or not, instinctively trust what's familiar.

Keep your cool.

Always.

Anyway, that's enough of my unnecessarily long biography.

Happy drama watching! :)