Kariso

soul mate (2026) exceeded my admittedly moderate expectations due to the association with netflix and delivered an intentional, tender queer story. the show maintains a theme of salvation until the end, which is likely why so much of the romantic relationship between ryu and johan, two people who were seeking dignity and courage in their lives, was organized around care, mutual trust, and being a place of emotional stability for each other. the relationship progression between ryu and johan was constantly affirming in nature. to me, the show understood that we need to have capacity to be able to love someone and that is often deteriorated when we are hurt and traumatized, which was the case with both in the beginning. ryu's late "eccentric" uncle's words became the emotional center of the show: the idea that you are only truly lonely when you don't have people you care about.

the queer narrative in this was not subtle at all but i loved all the nuanced ways they have repeatedly affirmed the relationship between ryu and johan, through their families and friends taking notice, through drawings and objects, through the unsaid. now, beyond that, there were many things i loved about this show. for one, they showed me that a bl being co-produced between two countries does not immediately have to result in exploitation in content and narrative. a lot of bl co-productions are more interested in proving "freedom" through explciit content they may not have been able to add on if, say, produced solely by south korea or china. however, as we have been seeing in these bl co-productions, when sex becomes the primary evidence of "liberation," stories often end up losing cultural relativity, subtext, TEXT, emotional density, and so on. but in soul mate, the cross-cultural context exists for cross-cultural communication and not to meaninglessly insert sex scenes between the couple. i loved all of these cross-cultural embeds in the narrative. ryu did not expect mutual understanding just because johan speaks some japanese; instead, he made a conscious effort to learn korean words/phrases to better communicate his feelings to johan. for once, a co-production does not feel exploitative.

one of the running themes of the show was found family. it started with ryu and sumiko. i found it very significant that the show centered ryu and sumiko’s relationship as a safe, dependable connection for both because many bl stories either erase women entirely or trap them in misogynistic narratives. depicting meaningful relationships between men and women is important, especially in queer narratives, because it shows us men can be vulnerable, kind, /human/ even outside of romance. then, their family starts to take shape when ryu's parents treat and take on johan. who was an orphan and had to work all his life to /earn/ a living, as their own, even inviting him to an intimate memorial ceremony reserved for people inside the family structure. as this family structure was taking shape, we also saw johan’s relationships were already structured around queer kinship (re: the gay jazz bar owner) because he does not have normative family structures to rely on.

i think my favourite moment in the show comes after they discuss sumiko's pregnancy. ryu talks of childbearing feeling like a miracle but johan responds, this too! what he is saying shifts the focus from a “queer impossibility” to meaning produced outside of heterosexual reproduction. he says, our shared life, the home we built together, it is also extraordinary, isn't it? by that point, it was clear the show was very intentionally refusing the assumption that “real” family is produced through blood relation, heterosexuality, or legal structures; instead, they asserted that family is an active practice of care and mutual recognition. when sumiko's husband, who was ryu's very close friend, died, it was clear the show was setting up a non-normative family structure between the couple and their pregnant friend. i saw that a lot of people thought of this pivot as "losing focus" but, in fact, sumiko’s plotline doesn’t distract from the romantic relationship; it expands it because sumiko and seiichi are ryu and johan’s family. a lot of bl narratives isolate the couple from the rest of social life and political realities but love is not enough and people need networks of care! the response to this storyline made me think people do not understand how important family (intimate support systems) is to queer people. romance isn’t the ultimate narrative endpoint. more so, their new family structure is what queer futurity is all about; it isn’t them imitating the nuclear family but reimagining it through queer relationality. statistically, even in queer relationships, labor associated with childrearing falls on women; so, it was crucial to see queer men involved in childrearing and domestic duties, men whose lives aren’t defined by romance or sex or individual freedom detached from responsibility and commitment.

now, the finale, i understood johan's decision to leave upon finding out he has a neurodegenerative illness with no cure available. seeing kanau grow up without johan and knowing he is battling his illness alone felt unfair but, based on his upbringing, it was more so understandable why he would choose to distance himself. when you haven’t been made to feel like you deserve to exist in the world (by expectedly your parents), you try to take up as little space in people’s lives as possible. however, i do think the ending lacks imagination especially considering the ideas they’ve developed on refusing isolation and found family. i do get johan’s side but i felt that there should have been more of a commotion when he wanted to leave. in the end, when johan talks about ryu, he says he gets hurt easily, and maybe this was why, but i believe a strong enough connection warrants a bigger fight because intimacy changes what we feel entitled to ask of each other. character death as a plot point isn’t an issue but they deserved to have each other by their side instead of spending their last few years together, with sumiko and kanau as well, isolated from each other's presence, thoughts, feelings.

i think the director/screenwriter hashizume shunki has an inclination for melancholy and although he “corrects” a lot of more than words (2022) in this show (hush! (2001) still did it better!), soul mate still carries that tinge of cruelty. i think it would have been so much easier as a viewer to see johan die slowly with his family by his side and that would have still been tragic because death and illness themselves are enough of a tragedy. i cannot wrap my head around the fact that johan left and life just moved on for the both of them. albeit, maybe there was more of an effort to communicate on ryu's side but we do not get to see this so it feels unfilling. i also do not find it believable that just because johan said he found someone else, ryu was hurt enough to cut off all contact after all of those years together.

finally, since this must clearly be reiterated to bl fans, the “bury your gays” trope is relevant when the death of queer characters reinforces the idea that queerness itself leads to misery or punishment - it does not apply here. soul mate allows their queer characters dignity, love, a family, and full emotional arcs. even before we get to the final arc, the show does feel disjointed with regards to plot transitions. it sometimes felt like things did not linger as they should have. nevertheless, although not perfect, soul mate must be one fo the best japanese/korean bls of the last few years. a beautiful, worthwhile, undeniable queer narrative.