MimiTheReaper

Yes, YES, cheating is wrong, but, I’ve never been this happy to see two people cheat. My arse was up at 5am refreshing the app, waiting. That being said, Hagiwara is genuinely a good person. Sei, whether consciously or not, built his own hell. Fujisawa, well, I can’t believe he was the sperm that won the race, and Kaori’, oh Kaori, that woman’s audacity needs to be studied.

OMG the way my heart dropped in the finale when the credits were rolling and Hagiwara deleted Sei's contact. Tears of anger were about to fall before I hovered the mouse and saw there was a bit more left. I would have accepted it, but also cried buckets. Thank you bl gods.

Listen, this drama was one of the most realistic, mature, honest portray of relationships and sex our side of the community ever got. It’s relationship in its rawest form. Unfiltered, and in some cases, very relatable. I started this cuz I liked the title and the poster. I’m glad I added it, cuz we’re only two months into the year and I can confidently say this is one of the best bls of the year.

Look, I know most of us cheered when that taxi stopped in the rain and those two booked a hotel room and did stuff like rabbits. But, let’s be honest, that cheating scene was no cheating scene, it was a love scene. Instead of hot and fast, we got a raw and slow moment that showed their venerability. Everything from Sei’s assurance to Hagiwara’s tears when he finally felt that connection with someone he so craved was done so beautifully. I was speechless of how real and emotional that whole scene was. It brought me way down from my ‘yaaay cheat, cheat, cheat’ chant. I understood the calmness of it, they both needed it after everything.

I love how they got to know each other through their emails. Here they’re finding their soulmates through emails, and me, I put every email I don't recognise in spam without reading. Sorry, soulmate, perhaps in our next life you’d learn to call or text. In the scene when they finally figured out they'd been talking to each other, I was stressed!!! Legit, I put the episode on pause cuz I was scared of their reactions. The air I let out when they acted matured about it and then continued to connect in real life. I love these two so much.

The finale made me hate being a rational person who can be objective. Before that conversation between Fujisawa and Sei, I hated Fujisawa with the burning passion of the sun, but then he started explaining, and I'm forced to understand him. Do I forgive him? hell no, but now I get why he did the things he did, and I'm vexed. Everything from his obsessions to his guilt made me understand his character and I hated it, cuz I wanted to leave the drama hating him 1000 percent, but now it's like 999. Cuz, his reasons doesn't excuse what he did. We will not rationalise abuse. And during that conversation I was glad Sei let him go, but him implying they'd have worked if Fujisawa ignored his morals was... well it is what is it, I suppose.

Anyway, I'm happy for the finale. Glad things were explained and we got to understand where everyone was coming from. Hagiwara reconnecting Sei with his friend while keeping away made me love him more. I’m happy our two leads took that time to sort out what they needed to, figured out their feelings, and then found each other in the rain. Happy tears y'all, happy tears. Such an amazing show, I'm sad it ended after just 7 episodes, I need a special.

PLOT:
This was good. Relationship comes in all forms with lots of problems and I'm glad we got to see this side of it. It's not all sunshine and rainbows, and sometimes we get stuck with people we care about but might not necessarily be the best for us. This was the something different I was waiting for. Emotions were high, and it made me think a lot, so I enjoyed each episode.

Anyway, below is my rant of the characters from episodes 1-6 with no knowledge of the last episode.

CHARACTERS REVIEW EPISODE 1-6

HAGIWARA KAZUAKI: This man was one of the good ones. No, I’m not excusing/forgetting what he did. No matter how you look at it, Hagiwara did cheat on his girlfriend. Still, he was a character deserving of happiness. Look at some of the facts:

Although Hagiwara wanted intimacy he never forced Kaori. He didn’t even get angry at her, and it was after Kaori’s pregnant friend snitched and he confirmed that Kaori didn’t want him that he turned to Sei. Even Kaori was surprised he didn’t trash-talk her in their emails.

Hagiwara is a gentleman. During that cheating… love making scene… when Sei asked him about his first time, that amazing specimen said he didn’t want to talk about the girl's privacy. But of course, there his girlfriend was, announcing his business to the world. The disrespect. Frankly, I’m shocked it took Hagiwara that long to cheat.

The reason I was happy to see Hagiwara cheat on Kaori was because, Hagiwara seemed like the kind who liked to feel an emotional connection with their partners, and Kaori was with him for a long time, so she knew, so for her to deny him that level of intimacy was just cruel, especially when she knew she was never gonna let him touch her again.

I wasn’t surprised he went all in when found that connection with Sei. In that scene when he was crying behind that glass door, asking if he was alone in his feelings, I was right there with him. And when he said, 'you’ve got your secret now,’ I sobbed with him. Glad he didn’t open the door cuz he wouldn’t have been able to let Sei go. My man loves too easily and opened and it hurt seeing him so broken.

NAKARAI SEI: Like Hagiwara said in that hotel room to Sei, “I don’t know if you are brave or cowardly.” Depending on the stand you take, Sei’s character was both. He had me feeling bad for him, and also wanting to slap him with a rubber chicken out of anger.

Sei was brave enough to cheat with Fujisawa, and to looked Fujisawa in the eyes and admit it when he got caught. No, but that whole scene had me rolling, yelling, ‘yes, tell him!’

Fujisawa: “You got a call from your side-piece. He got caught. His girlfriend ran away with his phone.”
Sei: Ah, the cat is out of the bag, oh well.
Fujisawa: So you cheated on me? Slept with another guy?
Sei: Yep, I cheated. I did it, I super done did it. We did it like rabbits, all day and night.

Hahaha no filter whatsoever and he didn’t stutter once. I was so happy when Fujisawa was yelling and demanding answers he straight up said, "Yes, I would have sex with anyone, it could have been anyone, but not you, not today, not here." I clapped, because here’s a man who had wanted Fujisawa for so long but was saying no to him now.

I’ve been wondering if Sei knew he was in an emotionally abusive relationship, or he was too close to see it. In Fujisawa defence, he already made himself clear where he stood when it came to intimacy. Which means Sei stayed in that relationship because he'd hoped Fujisawa would change his mind. Which brings me to my statement of him being the cost of his own pain. Why stay with someone you know can never give you what you want?

Did Sei truly, really, ever loved Fujisawa or did he stay with him out of loyalty? I think Sei mistook appreciation for love. He was happy for the kindness Fujisawa showed him during his parents’ death, and mistook that kindness for love and let that mfker isolated him for selfish reasons.

I felt sad and anger on Sei’s behalf for what that mouth breather Fujisawa did to him, but also at Sei when he apologised the next day like he did something wrong, and was considering quitting his job and moving away with him. Like????

Was Sei afraid to leave because he believed he wouldn’t find better? Hagiwara already confessed to him so he knew there was someone out there who wanted him, so that couldn’t have been it. Or was he scared of losing the security and familiarity that Fujisawa provided? Scared of starting over? Scared of Fujisawa thinking he was ungrateful after what he did for him? Whatever it was, it made him apologize, even had him lying to Hagiwara and trying to hide his injury, which made me angry at him.

“If you cry later, blame it on me,” Hagiwara said while I was shaking my head in judgement at Sei, because dude what the hell? You know how Hagiwara feels about you, you’ve admitted to feeling the same, so what is keeping you? Loyalty, understanding? Blame?

I realised Sei apologised to Fujisawa because he felt he was to blame. That some of the faults was his for cheating, but I’m still so angry, because he did not deserve what happened to him, and he did not have to rationalize that whole event at all. But then again, sometimes we are so close to the problem we don’t see it ourselves, and as outsiders it’s very easy to blame the victim. Still, I wished I was inside the screen, so I could shake him until he came to his senses.

FUJISAWA KAZUAKI: Dude vexed me. This guy hated everything, literally when Sei kept listing things Fujisawa didn’t like, I was like, ‘honey, please, save your voice, tell us the things he does like.’ I felt so bad seeing Sei beg him again and again for intimacy.

Sure, on Fujisawa’s part, he already made his stand clear, so some of the fault was on Sei. I thought Fujisawa was asexual or like sex was just one of the things he hated cuz he’s personality was hating stuff, but it turned out he was just a psycho. I don’t even think he was jealous that Sei turned to Hagiwara for intimacy. It was more like he was angry someone took something he thought was his, which is why he hurt Sei the way he did.

That scene where Sei was begging Fujisawa, telling him to stop hurting him because they couldn’t return to what they were made me sad and angry at the same time. Because Fujisawa, that fker had the nerves to reply. “What did we have?”

Exactly, they had nothing, nothing at all. Then the next day, his arse out there talking about I’m sorry, and I didn’t mean to hurt you. Bish he begged you to stop sooooo many effing times! In hindsight we should have known he was a psycho when he pressed into Sei’s injured nail and made it worse. Plus, he hated everything, like dude, how about hating air, stopping to take it and letting us have some peace? huh?

The nerve of him to even be surprised that Sei cheated in the end. What did he think was gonna happen when he wouldn’t even let Sei take care of himself in his presence? Literally, their whole relationship came off as roommates who tolerated each other, nothing more.

MIZUTANI KAORI: Some people really have all the effing audacity and this girl could sell hers. Not only did she get into a relationship with someone knowing after a while she’d no longer want sex with them, but she also went around telling people about not giving her sweet boyfriend any.

Look, I’m all for the sisterhood protecting one another, and Kaori’s friend straight up telling Hagiwara that she knew they weren’t having sex cuz Kaori said she hated when he acted masculine… #Sidenote: dafug does that even mean? does she not want him to appear/look like a man?? Woman if you feel this way then get one of those silicons and put it back in the closet after you are done using it, cuz you clearly don’t want a man.

Anyway, the point is, I’m all for the sisterhood, but I'm glad that the friend snitched, cuz she was also going through similar problems with her husband and wanted to warn him to save himself.

During that breakup scene at the cafe, I was behind my TV thinking of all the ways I could throw that coffee on Kaori’s head. Talking about you were with a man so I can’t forgive you, it would be unbearable to touch you. Thank God Hagiwara clocked her like, ‘wasn’t it already unbearable for you?’ She wasn’t even touching him, and now she’s like I can’t do it. Do what? You were not doing anything to begin with.

Sure, after she explained herself, it’s obvious she have some problems with intimacy and perhaps her sexuality. What I don’t understand is why she got into a long-term relationship. Woman if repulsion and nausea are how you always feel after being with a man a couple of times, then honey you don’t need a live-in-boyfriend you need tinder, get in and get out, don’t go and give someone’s son blue balls cuz you physically can’t bring yourself to be intimate with them.

Then she went on and said, ‘did you get with the next man you saw cuz I didn’t allowed you?.’ Allowed?? Once again, good job on Hagiwara for putting her in place like, ‘woman, I'm not a pet, not your dog to be allowed stuff.’ At least she did one thing right, letting Hagiwara have the satisfaction of telling her he found someone else and they should break up. Sure, she walked away feeling like she won and was in the right, that she did nothing wrong and Hagiwara broke up with her after he cheated, but I’m still so very happy Hagiwara told her what she wanted to hear. It showed he no longer cared how she took the whole thing, he was free and that was all that mattered.

And what in the dramatic arse thing was that, running away with his phone, and then shipping it to him via mail. Lol.
##End of rant##

Anyway, Hagiwara and Sei were going through it with their partners and I’m glad they found happiness together. They were each other’s missing pieces. I knew they would not be able to walk after their one night. Loved that last scene in the rain in the finale.

This series was one of the best bls I've watched in a long while, and I'd highly recommend it to everyone. I wish to see more work from the two leads, they were amazing in their roles. Hagiwara and Sei are going to stay with me for a long time.