MissEshia

I gave up at 1.

# 5 was one my favorites too.

His earrings did heighten his cuteness to be fair, no matter how dazzled we were by them.

Just finished watching We Best Love 1 and 2 today ain't that a kawinky dink!

Va let the man that tried to kill her husband go free without retaliation, but Gus keeps his company a secret and she acts like he rapes kids daily and threatens divorce every time she sees him give eye contact to someone. This Bish I swear if not for Gulf I wouldn't keep watching this. Va is the ultimate gas-lighter. She needs to evaluate herself. I've gotten to the point where I prefer that Gus be with Jack. That's a damn shame.

Thank you for replying. I feel we have so much of our trauma in common. Although I wasn't physically victimized by my siblings, I have been emotional injured by all my relatives. I can understand wanting to find something to escape to like Kpop and dramas as I do that as well to forget for a few hours the problems that I have. I am sorry that you can't find a counselor that will help you and that you have a connection with. That is why I am grateful to Katie my counselor. She has been with me my entire therapy and has been my constant. I think we connected because we are of the same age, and I don't have any friends. I believe you have lost a vital connection to people. I feel most hopeless when I am lonely and have no one to talk to. But I have to just make it to my next appointment which is scheduled every two weeks (unless I have an attack then she checks on me every week). I think you would do good with a companion like person or a counselor to talk to. Because I believe that you write out your feelings here in chat because you need someone to talk to. I am willing to talk to you if you need such a person. Although at times I can be unreliable because I have trouble reading returning to some social media sites (don't feel like I am ignoring you), I do check mydramalist often just to update my watchlist. Feel free to follow me and leave a message of how your day went, even to just vent, and I will respond. I don't want you to feel hopeless. Even though we feel it would be easier to leave this place. We are here for a reason. You have helped me a bit just by telling me your story and I was also able to connect to you through our shared problems. You have helped me to not feel alone. Don't give up, you are valuable, you are needed, you are strong. There is strength in you. Not everyone can get on a public site and reveal themselves. You have strength of spirit. This will get you through your dark times. This is what I tell myself and it has helped so far. Also, I believe all medication isn't good medication if it doesn't work, don't do it. My family is filled with alcoholics, and I refuse to drink as I fear that I will drown myself in a bottle. You haven't turned to vices mean that you have strength of will and value yourself. Please continue to do so. Love yourself! You haven't failed because you decided to turn to things that make you happy. You are healing yourself from the complications of your life. I do it and my counselor encourage me to do so. So, I am giving you the same advice. I also hate to lose that why I have a hard time playing MMORPGs. I can't play chess but I play competitive sudoku. I rage quit when I lose a game. LOL Talk to me when you feel your lowest. If you have discord we can chat there as I will always have my phone with me even at work. We can exchange info. 🤗🤗🤗 don't give up. We can do this!!!

I suffer from depression and my day-to-day life is also hard. There are times where I'd be stuck in my bed and don't have the will to do anything, to see anyone, or to care for myself. As I write this it is my good day where I can imitate a working person. This usually follows a row of bad days filled with tears and struggling just to not fall apart. My depression stems from a vast hopelessness which makes me feel stifled and suffocated. I am overwhelmed by expectations of other people. It seems that the more I try, the more I fail, and everything is working to my disadvantage. I can't get ahead or accomplish things that seems easy to other people. I have only myself to rely on and with no help. My family are often the sole trigger to my attacks and depression as they place the most burden and offer lest in the way of help and comfort. I have 2 narcissistic parents and my siblings are also suffering from depression and anxiety. My parents alienated me from friends growing up and living a thriving life. I am constantly in fear of failure and have a hard time starting anything because of all my self-doubt. I can't successfully separate myself from them. I've been talking to a counselor for the past 5 years and have just gotten to where I see a ray of hope in turning my life and situation around. I used to have a panic attack daily and while getting treatment without medication was hard at first because I was so severely troubled. I was on depression medications for 3 years and it worked until I changed my medicine at a psychiatrist. NOTE: some psychiatrists are wonderful, if you found the right one. Unfortunately, mine only worried about medicating me instead of helping me and I found myself in a hole again and this is when I tried to harm myself. I was swamped in doubts and hate again, drowning in an impossible situation. After that day I detoxed myself and went through medication withdrawal for a few weeks until I got off the depression medication. The psychiatrist dropped me because I was no longer taking the drug. I continued seeing my original counselor solely without the help of a psychiatrist or medication. I learned while talking to my counselor a year ago that I have ADHD and that is why it is difficult for me to obtain my goals. If I have a plan, I can achieve what I want. So, I have been working on navigating through ADHD and healing from my traumas of childhood and hurt received from living with a narcissist and I am better. I now have a panic attack infrequently. The last one I had was weeks ago and it was triggered by work stress. My bouts of depression don't last for weeks, the last one I had lasted for up to 3 days. I found a system that will help me drive myself to do something. I try to tick off my worries one by one by writing them down and finding a solution. I only concentrate on one thing at a time, so I don't feel overwhelmed, especially at work. (Jobs come and go; you shouldn't bend over backwards to please a job that will replace you quickly if something happens to you. I am smart and talented I can find better employment.) With small steps to prioritize myself I am slowly getting better. I also trying to adopt a "F*ck it!" mentality as I have a hard time letting things go. If I can't solve it now, forget it! There is always time to solve it later, give yourself time to rest. The problem may stem from you taxing yourself for a solution. I usually read or watch dramas for a few hours. When I return to it, I can solve it because I am calm. You are on your own time and no one else's. Take care of yourself and let others worry over things they should. I am in no means cured but my day isn't as suffocating as it once was years ago.

I also suffer from depression, and I take B-complex vitamin there is a noticeable change in my mood when I take them. The medication I was on for depression made my depression worst because of the dosage/type and I tried to leave as well. The pain snapped me out of the hopelessness and despair. Had that not been the case or if I chose a different method... I wouldn't have had a chance to make my life better. The best medicine for my depression is hope and love from a loved one (unless the people around you are the cause, then pamper yourself), counseling (with the right person you will heal), surrounding yourself in things you love and purely make you happy, time and space to vent and escape things that make you depressed or adds extra pressure, tackling vitamin deficiencies, and sunlight. I take each day one day at a time and overall seek my own happiness and never fulfill expectations from any source other than my own.

Yes I have. I love the subtle chemistry. GG and DD are so cute. Seeing the subtle "BL" meanings for the hints to their "love scenes" are cute as well.

I am a Drama Google Currently Airing Ahjumma! Love what you Love. I'll give you a list of dramas in the genre you like if you ask. I've seen 900 + dramas and growing. (I actually have a list with mini reviews on almost all of them.) I have maybe at most 10-12 dramas I watch that are currently airing. (something for everyday of the week) It is true that I have watched so many dramas in all genres that I am unimpressed and lately I drop dramas because they are too predictable. Now I watch BLs because I am also a Yaoi Ahjumma and they are recreating a lot of my favorite comics (manga, manhwa, manhua) or, I follow work by my favorite actors. I lean toward realistic romance, crime/murder mystery, fighting/violence, and josei type dramas. If the kiss scenes aren't convincing then, usually the rest won't be convincing so, I drop it. I hate harems and reverse harems the most excluding those in consenting open relationships. Second dislike would be some stereotypical daily dramas or other dramas with these clichés (memory loss, FL is a pushover for 80% of the drama, or the main is dense in critical moments when they've been sharp the rest of the time, I am pregnant, oh no, time to run, They love each other but the couple separate for a long period of time for no plot reason, rich and poor child swap, etc.)