RiyaNakr

No, then I can’t recommend Revenant to you. It’s firmly an occult thriller with the barest whiff of a romance. Tho we were joking over on DB that it gave us the most (creepily) romantic carousel encounter in a year filled with amusement park dates. A good rom-com is hard to find esp. if you also want a plot and strong characterizations. We might as well ask for unicorns. But there have been good heavier romances this year.

You are free to state your opinion and disagree with mine. But please don’t restate mine in a reductionist manner. My discomfort is based on the complex dynamic of age, gender and power that has long led to a culture of abuse in women’s sport that is finally, rightly, being exposed.

In other dramas, such as My Dearest, I evaluate differently.

Yeah, they don’t, esp. for women. But what surprises me is that it isn’t that hard. Within a month or two, most women in a boxing gym start bulking up. Weightlifting Fairy, I didn’t give you enough credit. At least you tried!

All right. I’m not sure of this given the 18 years since the ML’s flashback. But let’s say 12 and amend my concern for a romantic relationship between a young female and a much older man in an uncomfortable power dynamic esp. at a time we’re learning what many of these female athletes have endured.

But clearly that’s an issue for me, not for you. No one will convince the other. I hope you will enjoy the drama. I have dropped it.

It’s very difficult to communicate in depth via comments but first, please consider what we consider “choice” is often social conditioning. Many widows choose to seclude, children choose to marry, etc. It is their norm. But I believe social norms can change.

Secondly, the data simply does not bear out that the gendered age gap works equally in both directions.

I do agree, however, that Asian dramas are unique in more frequent pairings of older women with younger men. Some speculate it is because these dramas are often written by older women who hold power unlike many other entertainment industries. In these cases, sometimes it is matter of fact, but often it is a noona romance where the couple wrestles with the judgement of society and their own fears. That angst does not happen as much when the man is older. We have been conditioned to accept it as the norm.

Sure it is “normal.” It was also normal for children marry. Widows to be ostracized. Uncles to marry nieces in some parts.

I am not all equating these practices to an age gap relationship. I am only saying what was normal can change over time. I wouldn’t even have a problem with it after folks cross 30s *if* it didn’t matter what gender the older person was. But as it stands, it almost always privileges men and devalues women as they age.

But look at me, shouting into the headwinds in the MDL comments. LOL. I’ll just slink off and wish for a more equitable world in my quiet corner.

I’m a little confused about the ages. The MDL summary implies she may be as young as 21 and the show implied to me he’s mid to late 30s. But it’s unclear so we can all only speculate to the exact age gap.

Of course, there are many individual cases where the age gap didn’t preclude happiness. I’m glad for your grandparents. But that doesn’t change the fact there is a systemic premium placed on women’s youth, which is why you will rarely see such an age gap IRL in the reverse direction.

And honestly, it’s much more troubling to me because of the power dynamics. I am sure you are familiar with female athletes and the ecosystem of older men that surrounds them: coaches, doctors, managers, physios, etc. Only recently have we begun to surface the problems this causes. Hence my wariness with a show that romanticizes such relationships.

I would have loved a story about these two finding themselves. While I love romance, I don’t need it between them. Did you see Revenant? Other kinds of meaningful relationships are possible. The book may be older but the show has been filmed when we know life and love is a little bit more complicated. But perhaps the show will tackle that along the way. Enjoy.

An exception often proves the rule. And, fine, he is late 30s so *nearing* middle age. And she’s early 20s, which according to research is a period the brain is still maturing. And yes, you do see 15+ age gaps in real life with women almost always being younger. There’s a reason for that, and not a great one. And there’s an unequal power equation between the two, which complicates things further. But if it doesn’t bother you, enjoy.

I tried. But this is insulting to female boxers. Why can't women have muscles even in a boxing drama? Are drama beauty standards really so rigid?

And why do we need to see a middle-aged man falling for a young female athlete under him? The difference is power + age is just uncomfortable. Have we learned nothing from the Spanish footballers, the Indian wrestlers, the American gymnasts...

This could have been a fabulous drama. Shame.

ETA: It also has a Lee Kyung Young cameo. Which is like...I dunno. What's the opposite of a cherry on a cake? LOL. Weirldy IRL meta.

And they didn't show either of them in the preview to keep us guessing.

Agree. I sniff second lead syndrome though if he keeps up like that.

Amazon Prime

I loved how they layered the rom on the com in Episode 5. So heartfelt from both male leads, and made all the more believable after glimpsing the female lead's vulnerable interior. This campy vampire show could teach the other rom-coms a thing or two.

Allow me to be superficial for a moment. Ahn Bo Hyun in a hanbok. 😍 Who would have thought.

Absolutely agree with you. A poor casting decision on the young FL that lent a creepy tone to the drama. Yet, that young actress had more spunk than the older versions of the actress. Why we still feel the need to infantilize grown women, I don’t know.

The romance line was written with the depth of a tween fantasy. It made a lot of sense when I heard an actual teen wrote the book the drama is based on.

It’s not a terrible drama by any means. But the uncritical love for it is indeed very surprising.

Loved both leads in other dramas. Hope they’ll get better ones in the future.