SamW6

A show that sticks with you.

Utterly obsessed with this weird, beautiful, arty, queer, subversive show.

If you go into this show expecting romance, there is a high likelihood you will be disappointed. Same for if you go in expecting a truly revolutionary anti-capitalist (or anti-AI) story. This is a quiet, character driven, mature story about flawed, messy people who stay flawed and messy up until the very end.

Here are things that stick with me:

-Koh's cold, clinical bedroom vs. Jira's warm, floral bedroom (and the fact that we never see Pheem's bedroom- we have no idea what his inner world is like).
-Establishing that Jira refuses to compromise his ideals and ethics for money over and over and then watching him absolutely fold for Koh to the extent Koh believes Jira will do anything for money
-Koh really seems to think he's in charge, but whenever Jira makes a demand, Koh follows.
-Jira's very accurate self-assessment that red flags turn him on
-Koh alone in his apartment posing himself like Jira's painting
-Jira isn't just gay - his art, his slang, his mannerism, his fashion all illustrate him as culturally queer.

The love triangle:
-Pheem presents himself as soft and caring but has a calculating, manipulative underbelly. Koh presents himself as cold and calculating but has a caring, vulnerable underbelly. Jira acts innocent and vulnerable but has these boys wrapped around his little finger - I think he knows exactly what he's doing.
-The way that Pheem and Jira seemed to be more into each other when they figure out they both know Koh - they are both getting off on the fact that they are denying Koh their time and on feeling closer to Koh by being with each other.
-Koh wears his crazy on his sleeve. He stalks Jira's social media, lets him know upfront and uses it to play transparent mind games. Pheem stalks Jira's social media in secret and uses it to create a persona he thinks Jira will like. Pheem cleans his apartment for Jira but Koh lets Jira see the mess.
-Pheem loves the image of Jira he's created in his mind and he loves the pursuit of someone unavailable/unattainable. Koh loves what Jira does for him - Jira gives him art, makes him feel, sees the parts of himself he keeps hidden, helps him sleep. Jira loves that Pheem wants him and he loves that Koh inspires him. But I don't think that any of them truly love each other.

The toxic romance:
-Ep. 8 is NOT a true romantic catharsis. There's a real dark underbelly through the whole episode - the leaky roof, Koh talking about opening a gallery to launder money, the fact that their "declaration" to each other was about attraction rather than connection. And this is all less than 48 hrs after Koh went full scorched earth on Jira and Pheem.
-That look on Jira's face after they kissed in the bathtub in Ep. 9 is chilling. I think he can feel something is off before he knows it consciously.
-The bedroom scene in Ep. 9 feels so scary and sinister. P'Nuchy lets the scene drag on just long enough before they both start laughing to destabilize the fantasy of their romance for the viewer.
-Koh sleeping in his car outside of Jira’s apartment 277 times and Jira leaving him there to suffer while he uses it as inspiration for his work.

The flowers:
-Koh gave Jira an iris bouquet while Pheem was still arranging roses for Jira. Koh is always 3 steps ahead.
-The iris + narcissus bouquets = Jira the artist and Koh the lonely narcissist.
-The flame lilies throughout episodes 9 and 10: "The computer scraps are me, emotionless, lifeless, haven't slept with someone in a long while. And the delicate flowers are you, who came to arouse me, and revive me." And in return for his revival... Koh creates tech that consumes and destroys Jira, generating a cold, emotionless, lifeless replica of his delicate art. I can't think of a betrayal that Jira could possibly find more horrifying than Koh stealing and bastardizing his art.
-The thought of Jira moving into that hotel was honestly devastating - he would obviously wilt just like his poor little plant. Koh moving out of his soulless, cool-toned prison of a hotel apartment and back into his childhood home, which he's apparently turned into a flame lily plantation, is a tiny glimmer of hope that Koh won't consume and destroy Jira but has maybe learned just enough to nourish the artist.

In the end, I wasn't really rooting for them to get back together, but I understood why they did.

I see Burnout Syndrome as less of a romance and more of an allegory for the tensions amongst art, tech, and capital. It makes sense that the starving artist gets in bed with commerce. Mawin the piss-throwing oracle told us that from the very beginning. And if Jira's going to find a patron in order to survive... shouldn't the artist get his pleasure where he can?

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A solid core in a silly package

The first time I watched My Stubborn I thought it was kind of plot-less and not very good. I was distracted by all of the extended NC scenes and the not-so-polished aspects of the show - Penny and Girl Jun's weird office siren outfits, Sorn's ridiculous penciled on depression beard, Tai and Champ's gross anti-chemistry, and the distracting way Oat pouts his lips when he's acting stubborn/young/mad.

And yet... I kept coming back to this show. It's one of my most rewatched shows and it's not (only) because of how NC heavy it is. This is a show that really rewards a rewatch, especially if you fast-forward past the superfluous side-couple plots. As I rewatch the show, the actual plot and Boat and Oat's skill as actors rise to the surface.

Spoiler Alert:
One of my favorite scenes that demonstrates the strong points of this show is Sorn coming to find Jun in the stairwell after he's humiliated him with a stupid prank. The build up to the scene is layered - the night before, Sorn had driven Jun and Penny to the mall. Jun thinks that Sorn and Penny are still together and pulls away from Sorn. Sorn is angry and rude about Jun meeting up with Piang. The next morning Sorn pranks Jun, apparently to punish him for hanging out with Piang. As a result of the prank, Jun gets reprimanded by the boss.

From Jun's perspective, Sorn is
a) constantly trying to seduce him
b) still sleeping with his maybe girlfriend
c) insisting Jun doesn't sleep with anyone else and
d) intentionally getting him in trouble at work.

Jun has started falling for Sorn but is aware that Sorn is unwilling/unable to offer any commitment or even acknowledgment of real feeling and Jun clearly kind of hates himself for not being able to resist Sorn's constant advances. The prank is the last straw and Jun breaks down at work. The moment when Sorn comes to find him in the stairwell is so well done. Sorn realizes he's gone too far and that his actions are impacting Jun much more intensely than Jun has previously let on. Sorn has fucked things up beyond an easy apology and is still unwilling/unable to admit that he cares about Jun and wants a relationship with him, which is probably the only thing that could fix things at this point. He looks so lost and bewildered sitting next to Jun - it feels real, exactly like real life 20-something relationship drama.

The show is full of these well-written, well-acted, nuanced little moments, which is what keeps me coming back to rewatch it. If you've dismissed this show as a horny mess, I recommend giving it another try.

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The show that tried to do to much

This show started off strong and I was really rooting for it. The six main characters were all likeable and the actors, for the most part, did well with the material they were given. The concept of a porn star leaving the industry and returning to college was compelling and original.

Unfortunately, this show suffered from trying to do to much. In a 13 episode series they tried to cover:

- Sex work
- Sexual assault
- Abusive, controlling, and neglectful parents
- Redemption arcs for 2 of the 3 terrible parents
- Blackmail
- Class differences
- Consent
- Coming out
- 3 romance arcs
- Jealousy and miscommunication tropes
- A show within a show that includes death and over-the-top 90s era homophobia
- An overly complicated plot to overthrow a cartoonishly evil professor
- Bullies learning the error of their ways and becoming supporters of their former victim
- A protagonist who also has a burgeoning music career in the middle of all this
- Having a character who has experienced pretty horrific sexual assault SEEK OUT an ex-boyfriend who attempted to SA him and invite him to join his music label?!!!

And they tried to do all of this while keeping the tone pretty light. There was just no way to do justice to all of these issues and plotlines. And I hate to say this because I really like Tae as an actor, but he's not great at on-screen kissing, which makes his love scenes with Ja kind of a rough watch.

Kind of a smaller complaint, but having a bra ad in the middle of an NC scene was a really strange choice.

Domon and Atom (Mud and Book) were my favorite part of this show- I hope it's a launching pad for them to get better projects.

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10/10

Acting, Writing, Directing, Pacing, Casting, Soundtrack: Perfect. No notes.

I put off watching this for so long because the whole "disguising yourself as your twin in a coma" plot description sounded a little too telenovela for me. I'm so glad I gave it a try, though. That is absolutely not what this show is about. Rather, it is about a group of young men exploring leftist politics and direct action. It's also not just a BL- the show would honestly work without any romance. However, queer relationship stories are woven into the themes of collective liberation, intimacy, vulnerability, and honesty, so the love stories don't feel randomly tacked on, either. Femme and kathoey characters are actually a part of the community and not played for laughs. The entanglement of oligarchy/capitalism/patriarchy/sexism/homophobia/ableism is explored thoughtfully. Characters with leftist politics aren't demonized for exploring direct action, including (non-lethal) violence and property destruction. They argue with each other over the effectiveness and ethics of their strategies, but without the black/white moralizing of a capitalist lens. It was really cool to see how the characters explore questions of justice and activism through their own lenses of diplomacy, law, and art.

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