Straight_ACEs

I just feel particularly for Bonhee here, because while a year or two doesn’t mean much for men, every month counts for a woman in her late thirties that wants kids. I’m going to assume that most of you are younger than I am, so take this as a PSA from noona - you may have no fertility issues at all, and you still generally have a max 30% chance of falling pregnant naturally on any given cycle under the age of 35 and 1/3 of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. Women without fertility issues under 35 can expect statistically to fall pregnant within 6 months of trying doing all the right things (generally recommend both informing yourself and seeing a specialist after 12 months if no luck). By the time you hit 40 (not 41 or 42) you have a 5% chance of conceiving naturally and your chance of foetal abnormality and miscarriage is significantly increased. The number of eggs you are likely to produce on average under IVF stimulation protocol goes from 10 to 1 per cycle and the chances of that individual egg resulting in a successful pregnancy are greatly reduced. The thing IVF can’t do is mature eggs outside your body, so the number one limiting factor with fertility generally and IVF specifically is age of eggs, and time. The second is money. You don’t hear about all the women trying in their 40s and never getting pregnant, but I do. The odd success story you hear you hear about because it is *odd*. Most of the celebrities you hear about getting pregnant later are doing so with frozen embryos or eggs (not as good, but better than nothing if frozen young and in large number) or are using donor eggs (and often surrogates too, but that’s less important than eggs). A very small number of women do get surprise naturally pregnant in their early 40s resulting in a live/healthy birth. 5% isn’t 0, but you have to be rolling the dice frequently and be lucky. For completeness, I don’t have any known fertility issues other than a low ish egg number. My chances of falling pregnant in any cycle naturally at 36-37 are still around 25%. However, one month is one try both naturally and with IVF, so a year can go by very quickly - especially if you’re trying to have enough embryos put aside for more than one child (2-3 good quality embryos per baby for decent chances). Because I’m using a sperm donor, I can’t just roll the dice every month. 12 months is low/average timeline for IVF. TL;DR - If you know you want kids, the sooner you start trying the better your chances (and the more info you’ll have about how long it might take for you). The fertility cliff at 35 is a myth, but it is a steep decline and 40 is the final plateau.

Okay I need someone to discuss this with, so the comments section will have to do haha. Everyone is talking about maturity and connection, and how those things impact perspective on an age gap. But no one is talking about the biological reality of being a woman dating in your late thirties. I’m almost 37 and have been going through IVF for almost a year to hopefully become a mother - and I’m on a solo parenting journey because I know I want kids and the right relationship didn’t happen at the right time. Bon Hee is 39 and we presume doesn’t have kids. She will need to start trying for kids within 12 months at the outside if she wants them, and/or consider adoption. Even if Mujin is interested in having kids, is he ready now? Are either of them ready to have a child with someone they’ve dated for 12 months? And if Bon Hee doesn’t want kids, is that something Mujin is clear about at 27? This is the elephant in the room with heterosexual older woman age gap relationships and unfortunately given this is a Korean show I don’t think it’s something that they’re likely to discuss directly or in commentary. And I think that does a huge disservice to the audience.

I initially shared your thoughts but then realised it’s actually a clever reference to the fact that she falls instantly in love with him when they first meet - when he walks in upside down (literally head and heels reversed).