Tellurian

The things they did for her are far greater than what she did for them. I think you only like Xiaoyao because she's played by a great actress, Yang Zi. If you ever encountered a person in real life with the same personality as Xiaoyao, I don't think you would like her that much because, after all, she is a walking red flag.

This is why people with issues in life shouldn't use love as a cure for their pain, because it cannot solve the problem; it only minimizes it. The only person who can truly heal them is themselves. Sadly, Xiaoyao did not realize this, but Xiang Liu did. That's why he chose to let her go—because he loves her so much that he doesn't want her to shoulder his pain.

The thing about avoiding something is that the more you try to avoid it, the more you end up doing it. Xiaoyao isn't different from her mother—they both juggled two men at the same time (the apple doesn't fall far from the tree). However, her mother was much braver than Xiaoyao, choosing Chi Chen despite having no support. She defied all odds to be with the man she loved, showing that true love meant going all in, not being half-hearted. Although they died and became enemies in the end, it is much better than living with "what ifs" in life, just like how Xiaoyao is living.
The oath sworn to Xiaoyao's grandmother is quite selfish on the grandmother's part. Because of this, Xiaoyao is forced to make decisions that aren't truly what she wants. The weight of the oath makes her become someone she doesn't want to be. The grandmother didn't consider the possibility of them going against each other; she was greedy for maintaining the power of the Xiyan Kingdom. Because of that oath, Xiaoyao is forced to accept that she still needs to side with and protect Cang Xuan, even if he dares to kill her love.

Many comments debate who is the best fit for Xiaoyao or who she truly loves, but have you considered if she is even worth the three male leads? Xiaoyao's character is more like a little girl stuck in a loop of self-pity rather than a mature woman. Instead of a man, she needs a therapist, as she never recovered from her abandonment issues (Too bad there weren't any therapists at that time). Her inability to resolve her problems only causes pain to those around her. She's hypocritical for wanting a man who won't change for her while she constantly changes throughout the show. Tushan Jing is the most pitiful male lead because, although he got the girl, Xiaoyao's eyes will never be solely on him. At the end of the novel, Xiaoyao wants to explore the ocean and islands mentioned by Xiang Liu, and she cries over losing memories of Xiang Liu in the monkey mirror, showing her lingering attachment. That's just pure disrespect to Tushan Jing. If you expect loyalty in your life, you should also remain loyal. Her character is somewhat similar to Shaoshang in Love Like the Galaxy; both experienced hardships and abandonment. However, Shaoshang evolved from an immature girl to a mature woman, while Xiaoyao would always be a little girl. Her circumstances are far better than Shaoshang's; she has a grandfather, a foster father, a sister, a brother, etc., and still can't seem to better herself. Her parents loved her, and if she learned to understand them and their decisions she would save herself from the agony. Honestly, she is greedy for love, and when she is already reunited with Jing she still follows Xiang Liu in the underground casino, indicating unfaithfulness towards Jing. I remember Shaoshang never juggling the three main leads in the show. The story is good, however the female lead ruined it. They say you attract what you are, explains her constant suffering. If you think of it, she brought upon almost all the sufferings she experienced herself. No wonder the reviews of this show are constantly plummeting, do you expect to like a character without any development who ends up with three potential male leads and lives happily ever after? The only thing I regret is the wasted potential of the three male leads, as their characters were all so well-crafted.