When JA and JH had their sudden break-up, there really were no reasons why they should stay together. They never really moved on from the initial physical attractiveness stage of a relationship. What was really odd was the fact that JA and JH never said “I love you” to each other. “All I need is you.” “I want to be with you.” “Buy me food.” These are all requests to serve my personal needs not the language of lovers. The relationship was doomed because they could not effectively communicate, be compatible or fully commit to each other.
THE ENDING
The ending is controversial because it seems forced to meet viewer or network expectations.
What is telling is that after their break up, they spent more than 3 years a part. They did not speak to each other. It seems they ghosted each other. They never tried to reconcile or get back together. JA friendship with KS ended. SH and JH drifted a part, but probably kept in indirect touch through mutual friends (who told JH that SH was getting married; SH did not invite him to his wedding -- he crashed it.) Each began dating other people, signaling the official end of their relationship. JA was a dating an A-type businessman, but she only thinks “he likes me.” She is nearly 40 with no other prospect to have a traditional life. She is a wilted wall flower with no self-esteem.
JH returns to Korea on vacation. He is still working in the US. He shows up at SH’s wedding which surprises JA and her family. We can tell that at the moment, JH is filled with regrets (feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over what had happened with his missed opportunity with JA). JH sees JA with another loser boyfriend so he thinks he has to save her. JA’s response is awkward shock at his presence which is a normal reaction for a person who has experienced a bad break up without any resolution of the underlying issues. BR reminds JA that she gave up on JH and she got over him. BR tells JA that it would be a big mess if she rekindled any feelings for JH.
JA goes to see KS after a long time. She wants to try to get back their friendship before going out with JH, but appears irreversibly broken (since the break up led to JH leaving KS alone). This is a hollow offer to renew their friendship since JA is looking for closure of the pain she was part of with KS. Then JH shows up, and there is an awkward conversation that shows that JH is still upset with JA. She offers to go back to being the way they were before dating (family friends), but that is also a hollow illusion that both KS and JH do not accept. JA met KS to cut ties cleanly so she could move on. The same is true with JH. After JA leaves, JH confesses to KS that if he wanted JA back, he could have done so before now.
JA decides that she has to completely cut ties with the past. She breaks up with the new BF. She quits her job. She tells her mother she does not want to get married. She decides to leave her mother’s sphere of influence to move to Jeju to work in her new best friend’s coffee shop. She wants to end the cycle of people controlling her. Her independence is now the most important aspect of her life. .JA tells BR that she has no regrets in breaking up with JH because their relationship could only go so far by “fate.” In other words, JA believes finding her true love is beyond her control.
When JH shows up in Jeju, JA’s initial reaction is anger at him. JH wants her back, but she pushes him away. He hugs her which upsets JA. JH tells her that it was all his fault, that he is sorry…..”I can’t live without Yoon Jiin-ah.” He asks her to give him a break. Then he hugs her a second time, JA calms down. He lifts her up and they kiss.
Then suddenly, there is an image of the couple hugging on the beach during sunset.
But are they back together? Is this really a happy ending?
At best, it is the ambiguous ending that I was expecting for the series.
There are three possible conclusions which we have to imagine since we have no information or dialog to support:
1. JA swoons over JH’s hugs and they are immediately back together again to pledge their lives together (the fairy tale ending).
2. JA comforts JH as he rekindles the good memories of their relationship, but she has moved on with her life and will tell him that he has to the same (the adult way to end a relationship).
3. JA and JH are caught up once again in the passion of the moment and spend the last few days of JH’s vacation together like honeymooners until it is the time JH has to go back to America (the second chance ending with the same resulting break-up.)
At this time in JA’s life, would she abandon her newfound freedom and independence to run away with a paternalistic JH? Or would she temper her past infatuation from JH’s attention to allow her to comfort JH’s pain of regret so they can officially break up as adults? Or would she just want to relive a passionate affair for three days with no expectations or strings attached?
The ending episodes were all about “closure” for JA. She went to KS not to renew a friendship but to finally close it. She quit her job to close the harassment issues behind her. She left Seoul to close the book on mom’s dominance over her life. And seeing JH in Jeju was the same opportunity to close the book on him since he was returning the US in three days, the issues of their break-up still unresolved, and they were never heading toward talking a real future together. The last scene was the nostalgic reunion but not a serious change in the JA character’s path. JH asked for forgiveness, but forgiveness without an acknowledgement of what you did wrong is not an apology. A couple of hugs is a reminder of their mutual escapism from their work and family issues. Walking along the beach at sunset represented the end, closure of their time together.
OBSERVATIONS
The theme song, “Stand by Your Man,” was a critical component in the series.
If you listen to the song lyrics, to be a proper woman, you need to love just one man; do things you don’t understand; have to forgive him if you don’t understand; be proud of him; always be there with physical hugs and keep giving him all the love you can. It was a controversial song. Feminists hated it. American Singer Tammy Wynette in later years defended the song as not a call for women to place themselves second to men, but rather a suggestion that women attempt to overlook their husbands' shortcomings and faults if they truly love them (and in fact, the last line in the final verse says "after all, he's just a man")
Permissive subservient tone of main theme song runs contrary to potential growth in JA’s character. Perhaps this is why JA finally had to rebel against the norms placed upon her by her family and work. Two things were obvious in the final episode: First, JH is still in denial over break up. Asking for forgiveness without an acknowledgement what you did wrong is not an apology. Second, JA has come to the realization that her happiness comes from her own independence and not the society’s requirement of marriage. The Conclusion:
The story was about JA. How she was conditioned by parents and society how to act and what was expected of her. The theme song promotes the stereotypical female role in a conservative society. She is somehow an anti-heroine which is different kind of k-drama lead.
The on-screen chemistry masked the underlying story of JA. During the BTS videos, we see SYJ having a deep understanding of her character as she overrules the director and JHI when they suggest more passionate scenes. For JA, she has had a series of mom-approved BFs but she has not learned or experienced what true love is . . . she is a novice based upon her meek and deferral personality. Normal people may have dated often, but may be really bad at it since they may not understand how to love another person. Or, if you are unable to love yourself, you cannot love another person.
The vast amount (80%) of viewers were women. They were taken in by JHI: his looks, mannerisms, smile, charms and acts of playfulness with JA.The female audience was captivated by JH as being an “ideal” boyfriend. So the focus of the viewers turned to the couple instead of JA. JH character was not fully developed; we only knew that he was abandoned as a child (mother died and father left to start new family), his charm brings him many dates, he is impulsive and temperamental; he has an overbearing sense of paternalistic protection. He has had plenty of opportunities to find true love, but he can never commit.
The side stories were to highlight JA’s daily obstacles and how her coping mechanism had been to ride the riptide of unhappiness so she would not get hurt too badly. She took the abuse because that was expected of her. The irony of the promotion for not rocking the company boat resolution was when JA confronted those problems, we expected her to change - - - become stronger. But it was muted, much like the resolution of the harassment claims.
JH side stories were minimal and poorly written (example, as a employee of a game company, worker hours are massive 20 hour days, high stress environment with extreme deadlines). We do not see any growth in JH’s carefree character. He never looks to see the big picture. Perhaps he sees JA as a woman he can control without having to commit to marriage (as one would expect of women in their early 30s who would have dated him).
As the series went on, viewers started to hate JA’s character and actions towards JH. It appears that this was intentional as PD Ahn acknowledged that SYJ took the character and her story knowing about the negatives. JA may never learn what true love is; her parents seem distant; her best friend KS was never shown in a relationship; and her series of boyfriends were never described as being in love with her. An immature teen couple may think that physical love is love. Being in a physical relationship does not necessarily mean the couple is in love. In the BTS videos, SYJ’s position of keeping JA from being immersed in passion with JH was a signal that JA’s character never truly thought that JH was a long term solution for her happiness. JA wanted the excitement of being the “bad girl” as an attempt to regain her lost youth. But when JH got more involved in the relationship than JA, JA started to sabotage it with white lies and demands to push him away. This push-pull without actual honest communication doomed the couple.
There is a fine line between romance and love. Romance is a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with the search for love; an exciting, enjoyable love affair, esp. one that is not serious or long-lasting like a summer romance; or a wild exaggeration; picturesque falsehood. The series captured that mood. However, this romance never developed into a deep, intense, serious relationship with long terms goals.
But that is how realistic the show tried to be. Relationships require hard work to be successful, but sometimes even all the effort we put into our romances just isn't enough and they eventually fizzle out. Of course, it's only natural to wonder why you keep striking out when it comes to finding a lasting love. Romantic relationships are a two-way street and it's up to both people to make it a prosperous one. However, we can only control our own part in a relationship. And it helps to know who we are as individuals and what we each need and want from a relationship. It can be hard for us to admit that sometimes we're the reason for the disintegration of a relationship.
If the ending was trying to convey the notion there is always a second chance, that is an illusion. Second chances rarely turn out well. The reason is simple: you broke up for a reason(s). The pain of a break up can erase the initial feelings of attraction and love. Hate is a powerful emotion. In this situation, both JA and JH have not come to terms on the reasons for their break up. They have not shared what each needs or wants in renewing their relationship. Both of them deeply hurt the other - - - and that pain is still unresolved in each of them. One hug cannot wash away those emotions.
The element of rain was important symbolism. Rain represents life and rebirth. However, rain also represents storms and floods (damage and destruction). When JH holds an umbrella for JA, he is subconsciously protecting her from the storms in her life. When they are running and laughing in the rain without an umbrella, it is a youthful expression of freedom.
Both JA and JH had moved on from their past relationship. Both still held resentment against each other. For JA to fall back in the arms of JH in Jeju like nothing happened it would validate the lyrics of “Stand by Your Man,” the antithesis of JA’s character growth. I am bothered by the ending sparse dialog. “I can’t live without you” is not the same as saying “I love you.”
That is why the ending is frustrating: the story has only viewer assumptions of the conclusion. That is why I think the ending shown was not the original one. It was a sudden reversal without an explanation; a rushed decision to appease the audience (or a misreading of the audience since a great number of commentators would have preferred a clean break up and the characters moving on).
Repost from welh@dramabeans
I applaud SYJ for her effective, brave and realistic portrayal of an anti heroine nature of Jin Ah. She conveyed JA emotions loud and clear. Through out the series, the writer allow us to see Jin Ah's weaknesses. The side of her repeatedly committing mistakes while she's trying to break free in significant aspects of her life. And even so, I feel her struggle. I found myself grew fond of her and simply attach to her. Though i dont grew up in a traditional family like Jin Ah. The strain of parent's expectation, career strive and finding own's happiness and comfort.
I find JA reasoning direct and logical. I'm not the type of a person to appease everyone but as i get older, sometimes I intended to avoid argument and conflict. I get sick of it. Its not a battle of who is right and who's wrong as long as i acknowledge my stand in a given situation i leave the rest in everyone's own discretion.
The drama ended before the characters fully developed and it's so that we can feel for them and grow by watching these sides of them. Personally, I think the writer intention to showcase these reality conflicts in front of flawed, weak and very human character of Jin Ah and her coping mechanism makes me realize things i should do and not. Maybe that's why i loved this masterpiece for exactly the same reasons people hated it.
Overall all, this show has great impact on me in more fascinating way. From the casting, great acting, directing, music choices and though the plot may have a bit of loose end but it never overshadow the show as a whole and the unfamiliar challenging (bold in its respective way) flow of the story feels like a breath of fresh air to me.
Don't mind the pace and the ratings, this show deserved to be seen completely in order to appreciate. Not everyone's cup of tea but i think women in their 30's should see this! I LEARNED A LOT.
I know a lot of people won't agree with me, but......I would like to think of this drama as a piece of art. A…
i thought I'm the only one feel that way.. The story is sweet as love and often frustrating as life can be. This is reality. Even though this drama is not everyone's cup of tea, i find it as a rarely gem. kudos to everyone behind this production for giving us such heart warming realistic show that i will remember for a long long time!
THE ENDING
The ending is controversial because it seems forced to meet viewer or network expectations.
What is telling is that after their break up, they spent more than 3 years a part. They did not speak to each other. It seems they ghosted each other. They never tried to reconcile or get back together. JA friendship with KS ended. SH and JH drifted a part, but probably kept in indirect touch through mutual friends (who told JH that SH was getting married; SH did not invite him to his wedding -- he crashed it.) Each began dating other people, signaling the official end of their relationship. JA was a dating an A-type businessman, but she only thinks “he likes me.” She is nearly 40 with no other prospect to have a traditional life. She is a wilted wall flower with no self-esteem.
JH returns to Korea on vacation. He is still working in the US. He shows up at SH’s wedding which surprises JA and her family. We can tell that at the moment, JH is filled with regrets (feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over what had happened with his missed opportunity with JA). JH sees JA with another loser boyfriend so he thinks he has to save her. JA’s response is awkward shock at his presence which is a normal reaction for a person who has experienced a bad break up without any resolution of the underlying issues. BR reminds JA that she gave up on JH and she got over him. BR tells JA that it would be a big mess if she rekindled any feelings for JH.
JA goes to see KS after a long time. She wants to try to get back their friendship before going out with JH, but appears irreversibly broken (since the break up led to JH leaving KS alone). This is a hollow offer to renew their friendship since JA is looking for closure of the pain she was part of with KS. Then JH shows up, and there is an awkward conversation that shows that JH is still upset with JA. She offers to go back to being the way they were before dating (family friends), but that is also a hollow illusion that both KS and JH do not accept. JA met KS to cut ties cleanly so she could move on. The same is true with JH. After JA leaves, JH confesses to KS that if he wanted JA back, he could have done so before now.
JA decides that she has to completely cut ties with the past. She breaks up with the new BF. She quits her job. She tells her mother she does not want to get married. She decides to leave her mother’s sphere of influence to move to Jeju to work in her new best friend’s coffee shop. She wants to end the cycle of people controlling her. Her independence is now the most important aspect of her life. .JA tells BR that she has no regrets in breaking up with JH because their relationship could only go so far by “fate.” In other words, JA believes finding her true love is beyond her control.
When JH shows up in Jeju, JA’s initial reaction is anger at him. JH wants her back, but she pushes him away. He hugs her which upsets JA. JH tells her that it was all his fault, that he is sorry…..”I can’t live without Yoon Jiin-ah.” He asks her to give him a break.
Then he hugs her a second time, JA calms down. He lifts her up and they kiss.
Then suddenly, there is an image of the couple hugging on the beach during sunset.
But are they back together? Is this really a happy ending?
At best, it is the ambiguous ending that I was expecting for the series.
There are three possible conclusions which we have to imagine since we have no information or dialog to support:
1. JA swoons over JH’s hugs and they are immediately back together again to pledge their lives together (the fairy tale ending).
2. JA comforts JH as he rekindles the good memories of their relationship, but she has moved on with her life and will tell him that he has to the same (the adult way to end a relationship).
3. JA and JH are caught up once again in the passion of the moment and spend the last few days of JH’s vacation together like honeymooners until it is the time JH has to go back to America (the second chance ending with the same resulting break-up.)
At this time in JA’s life, would she abandon her newfound freedom and independence to run away with a paternalistic JH? Or would she temper her past infatuation from JH’s attention to allow her to comfort JH’s pain of regret so they can officially break up as adults? Or would she just want to relive a passionate affair for three days with no expectations or strings attached?
The ending episodes were all about “closure” for JA. She went to KS not to renew a friendship but to finally close it. She quit her job to close the harassment issues behind her. She left Seoul to close the book on mom’s dominance over her life. And seeing JH in Jeju was the same opportunity to close the book on him since he was returning the US in three days, the issues of their break-up still unresolved, and they were never heading toward talking a real future together. The last scene was the nostalgic reunion but not a serious change in the JA character’s path. JH asked for forgiveness, but forgiveness without an acknowledgement of what you did wrong is not an apology. A couple of hugs is a reminder of their mutual escapism from their work and family issues. Walking along the beach at sunset represented the end, closure of their time together.
OBSERVATIONS
The theme song, “Stand by Your Man,” was a critical component in the series.
If you listen to the song lyrics, to be a proper woman, you need to love just one man; do things you don’t understand; have to forgive him if you don’t understand; be proud of him; always be there with physical hugs and keep giving him all the love you can.
It was a controversial song. Feminists hated it. American Singer Tammy Wynette in later years defended the song as not a call for women to place themselves second to men, but rather a suggestion that women attempt to overlook their husbands' shortcomings and faults if they truly love them (and in fact, the last line in the final verse says "after all, he's just a man")
Permissive subservient tone of main theme song runs contrary to potential growth in JA’s character. Perhaps this is why JA finally had to rebel against the norms placed upon her by her family and work.
Two things were obvious in the final episode: First, JH is still in denial over break up. Asking for forgiveness without an acknowledgement what you did wrong is not an apology. Second, JA has come to the realization that her happiness comes from her own independence and not the society’s requirement of marriage.
The Conclusion:
The story was about JA. How she was conditioned by parents and society how to act and what was expected of her. The theme song promotes the stereotypical female role in a conservative society. She is somehow an anti-heroine which is different kind of k-drama lead.
The on-screen chemistry masked the underlying story of JA. During the BTS videos, we see SYJ having a deep understanding of her character as she overrules the director and JHI when they suggest more passionate scenes. For JA, she has had a series of mom-approved BFs but she has not learned or experienced what true love is . . . she is a novice based upon her meek and deferral personality. Normal people may have dated often, but may be really bad at it since they may not understand how to love another person. Or, if you are unable to love yourself, you cannot love another person.
The vast amount (80%) of viewers were women. They were taken in by JHI: his looks, mannerisms, smile, charms and acts of playfulness with JA.The female audience was captivated by JH as being an “ideal” boyfriend. So the focus of the viewers turned to the couple instead of JA. JH character was not fully developed; we only knew that he was abandoned as a child (mother died and father left to start new family), his charm brings him many dates, he is impulsive and temperamental; he has an overbearing sense of paternalistic protection. He has had plenty of opportunities to find true love, but he can never commit.
The side stories were to highlight JA’s daily obstacles and how her coping mechanism had been to ride the riptide of unhappiness so she would not get hurt too badly. She took the abuse because that was expected of her. The irony of the promotion for not rocking the company boat resolution
was when JA confronted those problems, we expected her to change - - - become stronger. But it was muted, much like the resolution of the harassment claims.
JH side stories were minimal and poorly written (example, as a employee of a game company, worker hours are massive 20 hour days, high stress environment with extreme deadlines). We do not see any growth in JH’s carefree character. He never looks to see the big picture. Perhaps he sees JA as a woman he can control without having to commit to marriage (as one would expect of women in their early 30s who would have dated him).
As the series went on, viewers started to hate JA’s character and actions towards JH. It appears that this was intentional as PD Ahn acknowledged that SYJ took the character and her story knowing about the negatives. JA may never learn what true love is; her parents seem distant; her best friend KS was never shown in a relationship; and her series of boyfriends were never described as being in love with her. An immature teen couple may think that physical love is love. Being in a physical relationship does not necessarily mean the couple is in love. In the BTS videos, SYJ’s position of keeping JA from being immersed in passion with JH was a signal that JA’s character never truly thought that JH was a long term solution for her happiness. JA wanted the excitement of being the “bad girl” as an attempt to regain her lost youth. But when JH got more involved in the relationship than JA, JA started to sabotage it with white lies and demands to push him away. This push-pull without actual honest communication doomed the couple.
There is a fine line between romance and love. Romance is a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with the search for love; an exciting, enjoyable love affair, esp. one that is not serious or long-lasting like a summer romance; or a wild exaggeration; picturesque falsehood. The series captured that mood. However, this romance never developed into a deep, intense, serious relationship with long terms goals.
But that is how realistic the show tried to be. Relationships require hard work to be successful, but sometimes even all the effort we put into our romances just isn't enough and they eventually fizzle out. Of course, it's only natural to wonder why you keep striking out when it comes to finding a lasting love. Romantic relationships are a two-way street and it's up to both people to make it a prosperous one. However, we can only control our own part in a relationship. And it helps to know who we are as individuals and what we each need and want from a relationship. It can be hard for us to admit that sometimes we're the reason for the disintegration of a relationship.
If the ending was trying to convey the notion there is always a second chance, that is an illusion. Second chances rarely turn out well. The reason is simple: you broke up for a reason(s). The pain of a break up can erase the initial feelings of attraction and love. Hate is a powerful emotion. In this situation, both JA and JH have not come to terms on the reasons for their break up. They have not shared what each needs or wants in renewing their relationship. Both of them deeply hurt the other - - - and that pain is still unresolved in each of them. One hug cannot wash away those emotions.
The element of rain was important symbolism. Rain represents life and rebirth. However, rain also represents storms and floods (damage and destruction). When JH holds an umbrella for JA, he is subconsciously protecting her from the storms in her life. When they are running and laughing in the rain without an umbrella, it is a youthful expression of freedom.
Both JA and JH had moved on from their past relationship. Both still held resentment against each other. For JA to fall back in the arms of JH in Jeju like nothing happened it would validate the lyrics of “Stand by Your Man,” the antithesis of JA’s character growth. I am bothered by the ending sparse dialog. “I can’t live without you” is not the same as saying “I love you.”
That is why the ending is frustrating: the story has only viewer assumptions of the conclusion. That is why I think the ending shown was not the original one. It was a sudden reversal without an explanation; a rushed decision to appease the audience (or a misreading of the audience since a great number of commentators would have preferred a clean break up and the characters moving on).
Repost from welh@dramabeans
I applaud SYJ for her effective, brave and realistic portrayal of an anti heroine nature of Jin Ah. She conveyed JA emotions loud and clear. Through out the series, the writer allow us to see Jin Ah's weaknesses. The side of her repeatedly committing mistakes while she's trying to break free in significant aspects of her life. And even so, I feel her struggle. I found myself grew fond of her and simply attach to her. Though i dont grew up in a traditional family like Jin Ah. The strain of parent's expectation, career strive and finding own's happiness and comfort.
I find JA reasoning direct and logical. I'm not the type of a person to appease everyone but as i get older, sometimes I intended to avoid argument and conflict. I get sick of it.
Its not a battle of who is right and who's wrong as long as i acknowledge my stand in a given situation i leave the rest in everyone's own discretion.
The drama ended before the characters fully developed and it's so that we can feel for them and grow by watching these sides of them. Personally, I think the writer intention to showcase these reality conflicts in front of flawed, weak and very human character of Jin Ah and her coping mechanism makes me realize things i should do and not. Maybe that's why i loved this masterpiece for exactly the same reasons people hated it.
Overall all, this show has great impact on me in more fascinating way. From the casting, great acting, directing, music choices and though the plot may have a bit of loose end but it never overshadow the show as a whole and the unfamiliar challenging (bold in its respective way) flow of the story feels like a breath of fresh air to me.
Don't mind the pace and the ratings, this show deserved to be seen completely in order to appreciate. Not everyone's cup of tea but i think women in their 30's should see this!
I LEARNED A LOT.
The story is sweet as love and often frustrating as life can be. This is reality.
Even though this drama is not everyone's cup of tea, i find it as a rarely gem.
kudos to everyone behind this production for giving us such heart warming realistic show that i will remember for a long long time!