Rachel

this completely rewired my brain

Literally thee best show of all time. Hou Minghao gives one of the most exquisite performances I've ever seen, and while he stands out among the rest of the cast, everyone else is also incredible in this too. The Zhao Yuanzhou/Wen Xiao romance was everything to me and the polyam vibes were off the charts as the second half of the show devotes quite a bit of time to Zhao Yuanzhou and Zhuo Yichen's dynamic. The found family story was beautifully done and you really believe that these people will risk absolutely everything to protect and/or save each other. Every song on the soundtrack is perfection and no matter how many times I hear some of the character themes (especially the themes belonging to Li Lun and Zhao Yuanzhou), I will still go bonkers insane every time.

I have some minor gripes with some writing decisions which is why I give this a 9/10 on story, but this is an absolutely must watch show for me.

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desperately wanted to like this but it was exhausting

Honestly the first episode was pretty cute and I was eager to see where things would go, but the main plot completely falls apart by, like, episode 3. So Ongsa catfishes Sun for 5 episodes under the identity of a boy named "Earth", which is a HUGE betrayal of trust and the scene where Sun finds out pissed me off SO badly. So Ongsa, upon being caught, is like "I'm sorry" and Sun is like "I don't want you to say sorry, I want you to give me an explanation" and then they just keep going back and forth with Ongsa saying nothing but "I'm sorry" over and over and over and Sun repeatedly begging for an explanation, especially since she had confided in Ongsa about how she was developing deep romantic feelings for Earth. AND THEN ONGSA JUST RUNS OUT OF THE ROOM SOBBING????? Like, girl, you literally did this to yourself, I cannot muster up any sympathy for you because it would have been so easy to NOT continue catfishing Sun. And then Sun isn't even allowed to be mad about this??????? Because literally 24 hours later, Sun is like "I want to start over as friends"??????????????? And then the next episode Sun is being jealous and possessive of Ongsa and says she wants them to be girlfriends????????????????????? And then a few episodes later when they have been dating for a minute, Sun outs not only Ongsa to Ongsa's parents but also Aylin and Luna and the fact that they're in a relationship. And then the narrative acts like Ongsa is in the wrong for not being ready to be out???????????????????????????????? Excuse me, what?????????????????????????? Like absolutely cursed main ship. My rating would be much higher if Aylin and Luna were the leads instead.

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insufferable ML, extremely misogynistic

I love revenge stories and a revenge story centered on a female assassin? Sign me up! Unfortunately the show prioritizes Murong Jinghe over Mei Lin in every way - he repeatedly puts Mei Lin in horrible (and deadly!) situations because he views her as expendable and only cares about how she can further his plan to clear his name and then once they start working together as partners and he starts to care about her, the show goes to great pains to be like 'oh but he's sad about treating her badly now' SHUT UP. (Murong Jinghe's character arc maybe could've worked if the narrative didn't want me to ship him with Mei Lin, but since it does, I hate that man passionately. And don't twist what I'm saying, absolutely no hate to Liu Xue Yi, he did a fantastic job with what he was given and I would love to see him play an actual villain.) The female characters are all interesting and different from each other and then they all repeatedly risk their safety for these awful men. You know that quote that's like "I will not set myself on fire to keep you warm"? Yeah, the women on this show sacrifice absolutely everything for the men they love. Also this show had no idea how to wrap things up and the final third really drags.

If you don't mind spoilers, about 6 months ago I actually made a video essay (https://youtu.be/jIexOU_As-4) where I explained how much I disliked this show

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would've been a masterpiece if not for the ableism

The set up is really good and the mystery is really compelling and then everything is ruined bc around the halfway point the show decided to be really stigmatizing about D.I.D. It sucks because the acting is phenomenal (esp Namkoong Min), I really liked most of the characters, you're constantly on your toes with clever misdirects or the show hiding a moment from you to be revealed later and then it recontextualizes another scene, the humor is great, the villains are horrifying (and so infuriating) and easy to root against... there really is so much that is great about this. But I cannot in good conscience give this a higher rating because the outright harmful depiction of D.I.D.

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DEEPLY flawed but this show is iconic. to me

Wow, there's a lot to say about this one, so I'm going to start with the negatives/things I think people should be warned about before diving into this.

1. When Jieun transforms into a man for the first time, her sister, Jihye, initially freaks out at seeing a man in their home (understandable), but then the second she sees "Jihun's" face, she's trying to smash???? Which is already insane behavior before we add in the fact that that would be incest. And unfortunately the incest jokes do not stop there. Jihye still flirts with Jieun after realizing it's her sister, there's a scene where she takes a photo of Jieun while sleeping which unfortunately ends up being plot relevant because when she gets pestered by friends about her dating life she shows that photo of Jieun claiming it's her boyfriend… And then when Jieun is trying to hide her transformation from their parents there's this whole situation where she "meets" her parents while pretending to be Jihye's boyfriend. And just when you think the show has finally stopped with this weirdness because Jihye has reconnected with Youngseok, even in the finale there's a scene of Jihye ogling "Jihun"... It's all really gross and really uncomfortable and the show finds it hilarious and just. Ew! Save me and Jieun from this mess!

2. Yunjae's mom has quite the temper and there are at least three scenes where she reacts by hitting someone — one scene where she smashes a vase on her husband's head, thinking she's about to smash the vase on Yunjae's head; another scene where she aggressively hits Yunjae with a pillow and her hands multiple times while he's heavily intoxicated; and then another scene where she's holding some kind of wooden(?) stick and she's trying to use it to hit her daughter, Yuna, but Yunjae and his father are trying to calm her down and she ends up hitting the father on the head with it. There's even another scene where she learns exciting news and starts screaming and congratulating Yunjae and he fully freezes in terror. Like, she is just fully abusive and it's despicable that these scenes are played for humor.

3. The writers try to give Minju more depth in the second half of the show, but basically she's a misogynistic caricature of the homewrecker. Yunjae politely sets boundaries with her multiple times, but she just does not respect him and completely bulldozes those boundaries, including even assaulting him and then attempting to assault him a second time. This is made even more frustrating by the fact that Minju has her own stalker who refuses to accept her rejections, and she somehow can't see that she is behaving in the same manner (AND SHE EVEN SAYS IN DIALOGUE AT ONE POINT "PARK YUNJAE REJECTS ME EVERY TIME WE TALK" SO SHE IS AWARE THAT SHE'S BULLDOZING HIS BOUNDARIES????? AND YET SHE DOESN'T SEE HOW SHE'S EXACTLY LIKE HER STALKER??????? HELLO???????????????) And, like the above two points, Minju's harassing Yunjae is mostly played for humor. (Also don't read the comments on here, people hate abuse survivors and love to victim blame. Of course Yunjae is going to have a hard time setting boundaries when his mother behaves the way she does and he has to constantly placate her and honestly a lot of his behavior towards Minju reads as him being in older brother mode to me. As someone who grew up in an emotionally abusive household, of course he is taking the path of least resistance and doesn't get more forceful towards her!)

And yet despite these very big gripes I have with the show, any of which probably should have been a turn-off, I was still incredibly charmed by it, and new episodes could never come fast enough — waiting from Thursday until the next Wednesday for the new episode always felt like torture. This show literally consumed my every waking moment after I hit play on episode 2. Excluding Minju and Yunjae's mother, I pretty much adored everyone. Yunjae and Jieun were so sweet and cute and silly, and even with how much Yunjae initially struggled with Jieun's transformation, you could still feel how deeply he loves her as he got used to this new reality. The love triangle between Jihye, Jeongja, and Youngseok was really interesting and surprising, and while I always did have a bit of a preference towards Jihye as I love childhood loves reuniting as adults, both dynamics work in different ways and you don't want to see anyone in the situation be heartbroken. I never would have expected the Yuri and Minhyuk relationship before Yuri's book signing event, but they ended up being so delightful. Yuna and Yunjae's sibling dynamic made me laugh a lot and I adored how supportive Yuna was and her attempts to help Yunjae and Jieun spend more time together. Yuri and Jieun's friendship was also easily one of the highlights.

Yoo Junghoo is incredible in this. This show is absolutely worth a watch for him, even if nothing else about the concept interests you. Every emotion that Jieun experiences is palpable in his performance. Like, it is up there with Shin Haesun's performance in Mr. Queen for me. Yoon Sanha is also really really good as Yunjae.

If you're watching this for BL reasons, you're going to be disappointed. Maybe I watch too much censored media and I'm being too charitable as I can't read the minds of the writers, but imo it really does feel like the writers wanted this to be more gay and were forced to tone it down. Especially since Yunjae was starting to initiate physical contact with "Jihun" and smiling to himself when Minju was complaining about Yunjae's relationship with "Jihun" and that "Jieun would hate knowing how close you two are" in episode 9 and then Jieun returns to being a woman in episode 10. Like... definitely giving the vibe of "Oh shit!!! It's getting too gay, we gotta remind the audience this is a straight relationship!!!!" I definitely wish it would have gone further, but I understand why it didn't and I appreciate the small moments we did get. And if you're going into this with the mindset of it being censored queer media, I think you will be pleasantly surprised with how far it does go.

I also wish the show played with gender more, but as I've already mentioned Mr. Queen, I like how My Girlfriend is the Man approached the body swap a lot more. As much as I love Mr. Queen, it was soooooooo exhausting how Bonghwan's main crisis about being in a woman's body meant he no longer had a dick and how his lack of a dick was so distressing because he wanted to seduce women and "how can I be with a woman w/o a dick" and just. GOD. My Girlfriend is the Man is way more concerned about the outside perception than Jieun's body change, which makes sense given how most societies are very fixated on gender roles and people falling in line with gendered expectations. Also, Jieun has a very stable sense of self and I just really love that she has no discomfort with performing in ways that would be deemed feminine and we frequently see her wearing a hair clip while presenting as a cis man. (Also Jieun's grandmother 🥹)

Did some of the writing decisions frustrate me? Yes, but that is also true for probably 85% of the media I watch. The last 3 episodes were really eager to throw as many curveballs at the audience as they could manage and I think some of it was to the detriment of the intended message. Not that it "ruins" the message like some of the comments argue, but that things got muddier than they needed to be and there were moments that felt like Yunjae would take one step forward and then immediately take two steps back, which... I know progress isn't linear but this is a narrative and we shouldn't still be feeling this back and forth in the penultimate episode.

Also, very minor sidenote, but I just feel compelled to include it in this review: I cannot tell you how many times a sound effect made me lose the ENTIRETY of my shit (the angry meows and the witch cackle remain my faves — whoever was responsible for editing in these sounds, you are UNHINGED and I love you for it.) It's all so out of pocket and perfectly cartoonish, which is fitting since this is based on a webtoon.

TL;DR: this show is a MESS but it is also one of my favorite things ever and I definitely encourage you to give it a chance ✨

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cute, chill, and wholesome

Given how disappointing I found 23.5, I was feeling cautious about this show, but then once I started it, I adored it. Maewnam and Wan are super cute and they have minimal drama/angst - Maewnam is the daughter of the family that owns the competing grocery store which Wan is fine with after 24 hours to digest that information; and then near the end they have a conflict about Wan feeling like a burden since the store is struggling so much, and they make up in the next episode. Beyond that, it's basically just cute fluff and the two of them being supportive of each other. Tonnam and Chompoo's storyline is where most of the angst and conflict resides. They've been dating for 3 years and Chompoo is scared to come out because she expects that her mom won't be accepting (spoiler alert: Chompoo is right, at least initially). Tonnam is nearing her breaking point of the two of them keeping their relationship hidden, especially after Maewnam learns of their relationship. We see Chompoo's journey from being a people pleaser to the detriment of their relationship to her standing up for Tonnam to her mother. I wish we were allowed to see more of them as a couple, but I can't be mad at a depiction of someone struggling to come out and their fears being proven right as that unfortunately is the reality for a lot of us. The rest of the drama comes from Maewnam's unsupportive and controlling mother who is displeased by Maewnam and Wan's relationship and Wan's ex, Manhmook, reentering her life.

As much as I enjoyed this, I have to admit that there are some perplexing decisions in last few episodes - Maewnam's mom, after trying to break up Maewnam and Wan, has a heart to heart with Maewnam where she says she's proud of her and basically accepts their relationship. Chompoo's mom pretends Tonnam is invisible after learning of Tonnam and Chompoo dating and then when Chompoo confronts her she has this whole breakdown of "I feel like I don't know you and that hurt me," as if she's the center of her daughter coming out 🙄. And then she's still being homophobic but according to the show she is trying, so we're supposed to find it heartwarming 🙄. We also learn about Manhmook and Wan's breakup and Manhmook treated Wan terribly while they were together and then has the gall to blame Wan's friend Noey for this and somehow Manhmook and Wan are back to being friends???? Girl, why would you want to make up with the girl who stole your thesis and blamed you for that?????

But overall it's a very good time and an easy watch and MilkLove being domestic is just so cute and heartwarming <3

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unnecessary and confusing

So I enjoyed the first season well enough and decided to watch the second bc why not. The pacing issues were bad in the first season, but they're even worse here. The first season felt like a complete story with everything being wrapped up and resolved, the second season revives the villains and basically just retreads the exact same plot but with Pookan being a vampire this time and an attempt to expand the lore. Confusing, repetitive, overdramatic, nonsensical..... I mean if you really want to see female vampires I guess it's worth the ~70 minutes but otherwise you don't really gain anything.

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loving your reincarnated soulmate no matter what form they take <3

I went into this with no expectations but hoping it was cute since I love the concept of "guy loves his soulmate regardless of their gender" and then I was hooked immediately, watching the entire thing within 24 hours. I love how in your face the soulmatism is from the start - the red string scene made me laugh so hard, the way San recognized some qualities of Wad in Vee even while he was in denial about Wad reincarnating as a man, Vee feeling an immediate fondness for San even while San is being very detached and stand-offish. And maybe I'm just dumb but other than being like "Suchat has to be working with the villain" given how aggressively he tried to keep Vee away from San, I did not see any of the plot twists coming.

My main criticism is things happened too quickly. Like, I can buy that Third and Vee hanging out and San becoming jealous as a result would prompt him to confess that he likes Vee and for them to start properly dating. But San is basically giving a love confession at that point and it's just like... how did we go from denial to a love confession in ONE episode??? And when San has spent 4 episodes desperately trying to avoid Vee because he's trying to escape the gay thoughts, so how is it love already? LOL. That said the chemistry between DaouOffroad is fantastic and by the time we're hitting maximum angst, you have no doubt that they love each other deeply and would sacrifice anything for each other. Also I love how soft and tender SanVee is!!!!!! No surprise, episode 6 was my fave - seeing San trying to pursue Vee and openly flirting, taking Vee on a romantic night out that culminated in their first time, San's dream where he relived a bunch of important moments he'd had with Wad but now he was seeing Vee in her place (sidenote: the editor went CRAZY HARD on this show and I love it so much). Ugh this was so good and made me so giddy and it has become one of my fave BLs. Will definitely revisit this one in the future <3

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two stories rolled into one - one is pretty good, the other is underwhelming

So as I say in the headline this is two different shows mashed together - the first is about the power struggle between two families that hate each other and Cheoljong/"So Yong" (Bong Hwan) falling in love despite all the manipulations of those two families, which is mostly really really excellent; the second is the time travel gender swap which left a lot to be desired. I think a lot of the reason why I'm struggling to view this as positively as many other viewers is because Bong Hwan's interactions with women for like.... at least a solid half of the show is just so sleazy and creepy that I find it impossible to view those scenes as anything other than sexual harassment and the behavior of a guy who doesn't accept hearing "no" because he views it as a challenge. While there are glimpses of the Cheoljong/Bong Hwan romance throughout, most of the development to that thread happens in the last ~40% of the show, and for reasons I don't want to spoil, they spend 2 episodes mostly apart. Like it just really ends up giving the vibe that the writers were uncomfortable with male-male intimacy and it just makes me wonder why the Chinese novel this is based on was even adapted in the first place then.

Although I feel that there's a lot of room for improvement with the handling of gender identity & sexual identity, I totally understand why this gets so much praise. The acting, costumes, and set design are flawless. The jokes (when they aren't thinly veiled cissexism, misogyny, or homophobia) are really really funny. The Cheoljong/Bong Hwan romance is genuinely moving and it's hard not to root for them as we see how much they grow to care about each other. Also I have Cheoljong brainworms I love him soooooo much you don't understand. Anyway, I think the really avid fans are overhyping this, but it is a lot of fun and I definitely think it's worth watching.

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definitely entertaining but the lore collapses in on itself in the final stretch

Where to begin? Like I say in the headline, I can't make sense of the lore. There's a lot I don't want to spoil from the last few doors, so I can't bring up most of the inconsistencies, but let me give an example of the least spoiler-y one. It's established very early on that death in the VR game = death in real life and violating a taboo condition means the Door God will kill you. The Door Gods are (typically) presented as unkillable, and in multiple doors a person is either immediately killed by the Door God after violating the condition, or a supernatural force ensures their death (i.e. the Sunny Dolls door). So when Ling Jiushi accidentally breaks his egg in the Fitcher's Bird door (second door challenge), why does the Door God just give up after one failed attempt at killing him? Two other people have already died in that door for violating the same taboo condition and they are killed minutes after their eggs break, but the Door God doesn't attack Ling Jiushi until he's sleeping (the egg was damaged a while before) and then he just gives up after one attempt at stabbing him?? Huh? Like multiple days pass after Ling Jiushi's egg breaks, and he gets out of that door unscathed. It doesn't make sense to me.

Then there's also the misogyny - the majority of women we meet are Door Gods (aka antagonists) where basically all we know about them is how much they have suffered, and then there are three women who I would consider prominent characters. One of them is Xia Jie, a one dimensional villain who's set up to be this huge threat but then she's following orders from the male antagonist of the show so it's not even like she's the one making these elaborate plans to try to get the upper hand against Obsidian, and while she is ruthless and absolutely willing to sacrifice other players for her goals, we never actually see her use violence which makes it hard for me to view her as an actual danger. Then there's Zhuang Rujiao who mostly exists to be incessantly mocked by Ruan Lanzhu and to pine after Li Dongyuan. And then there's my favorite character Tan Zaozao - when we first meet her, she's there to be comedic relief and throughout the show there are A LOT of jokes at her expense because she's "stupid", but she actually becomes a fairly well rounded character as we see her complete more door challenges, but then episode 60... iykyk. That episode is actually when I basically stopped having fun with the show and I just felt really worn out watching the remaining 18 episodes.

All that being said though, the show doesn't pull punches when it wants to emotionally devastate you. The character dynamics are really good and whenever there's a blow to the team, you feel it. If you care more about a narrative successfully hitting emotional beats than you do about logic, you'll enjoy this. It's also very gay for a censored cdrama, so if that's your main interest, you'll probably enjoy the show in that regard as well.

(Also, I do think the final two episodes fumbled the ending but that also kinda ties into my complaints about inconsistencies.)

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flawed but iconic

Originally watched this in 2021 and felt the desire to revisit it given the details were a little bit fuzzy. It's obviously not perfect, but it holds up decently for the most part. The concept is honestly fantastic but there are times when the execution is pretty clumsy (i.e. the scenes depicting domestic abuse sometimes felt gratuitous, Miw's very unnecessary biphobic comments, Shin and Miw making out (more than once!) when Shin is gay, so much tragedy surrounding Mae). Even so, I'm always happy to add another entry to the small list of canon polyamory on screen :) I also really really appreciate that 2 of the core 3 are sex workers, as it's difficult to find media about sex workers that isn't full of contempt towards individuals who work in that profession.

This show is intense and thrilling (even with the low production value), and because of everything the trio goes through, it's easy to understand why they develop a deep bond (even if I think the Miw-Neo dynamic could have used a bit more buildup).

anyway I love gay men I love bisexuals I love trans women I love polyamory I love threesomes. thank you Thailand 💗

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disappointing as a "girl's love" story

So firstly I should probably mention that I watched this on iQiyi and the English subtitles were AI translations so I'm sure there were tons of mistranslations because a solid 25% of dialogue was just completely incoherent collections of words that the AI spit out which sometimes I could gather the meaning from context and other times I was just completely lost. The first two episodes were deeply upsetting as we see Gu Jinyu gagged and held by two guards as she was forced to perform a marriage ceremony with Bai Yunxi and then Bai Yunxi is eager to have her wedding night and Gu Jinyu is very clearly not willing and the only reason it doesn't happen is because they are interrupted. If you can stomach the first two episodes, it does get better, but any entertainment I was finding is completely soured in the final 4 episodes. As Gu Jinyu has been presenting as male for most of her life, Bai Yunxi is unaware of this fact until it's exposed and... honestly her reaction comes off as her being disgusted with the fact that Gu Jinyu is a woman, esp given she already knew who Gu Jinyu's family was prior to learning about her disguise.

Anyway, there's a lot going on, but honestly the heart of the story is Gu Jinyu and Bai Yunxi getting closer as they work together as business partners and Xiao Tian Hu, Bai Yunxi's brother (I don't think biologically? it's impossible for me to tell with the AI translated subtitles, but she clearly views him as family), starts to realize he is crushing on Gu Jinyu as well and I can see why people wouldn't like this development but I found it kind of hilarious because it felt like the writers were saying "no matter what gender you are, if you are attracted to Gu Jinyu, you are gay" I love people with confusing genders!!!!!!!!! Gu Jinyu you are an icon <3

Also despite my loving the Gu Jinyu androgyny vibes: given censorship, I'm not expecting any CDramas to be outwardly trans positive but this show is insanely transphobic, made extra upsetting given how much of the show hinges on crossdressing. Like the constant reassurance in Gu Jinyu's inner monologue about her being a woman, a scene where Xiao Tian Hu wears a dress and he is immediately swarmed by a bunch of women who start hitting him and pull off the dress (which is played for humor), a scene where Gu Jinyu tries to confess about being a woman and Bai Yunxi misunderstands and wants to "prove" she's a woman by trying to make Gu Jinyu touch her boobs...... like it's really concerning that people are calling this a cute "Girl's Love" show when Bai Yunxi's reaction to learning Gu Jinyu is a woman is straight up lesbophobic, the homophobia of Xiao Tian Hu's internal panic about crushing on Gu Jinyu because he thinks he's "sick" for liking a man and another character agreeing with him, and then the rampant transphobia. Cursed show honestly.

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addictive and fun but the plot is incoherent

So okay. If you’re watching for the plot of Gong Ziyu and Yun Weishan’s romance (the main appeal for me tbqh), this is a 10/10. I love them so much I have severe brainrot about them. If you’re watching for the plot of attractive people scheming and manipulating each other, it’s a 10/10. If you’re watching for the literal story of the Gong Ziyu vs Gong Shangjue rivalry and everything to do with Wufeng…. it’s more like a 5/10. Once you reach the last third there are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many inconsistencies, there's new lore introduced in like the final 3 episodes that's never really explained it's just kinda out of nowhere to make things harder and more dire for the protagonists, and the villain's plan is just dumb and convoluted. ALSO FUCK THE LAST 5 MINUTES FOR THAT ABSOLUTELY UNNECESSARY CLIFFHANGER. That being said, Kill Me Love Me WISHES it was My Journey to You lol, Mei Lin looks so incompetent compared to Yun Weishan and Shangguan Qian it's just embarrassing.

Anyway, I watched this bc I loved Zhang Linghe in LBFAD and I didn't like what that show did with his character, so I wanted to see some of his other work. He was also great here, I love Gong Ziyu so much. Yu Shuxin really impressed me in this after feeling her role in LBFAD was uninspired. Tian Jiarui has less to do in this than in Fangs of Fortune, but he (unsurprisingly) did an incredible job here and he was such a menace lmao. Lu Yuxiao and Ryan Cheng were also fantastic. The cast does so well with their roles, and while the writing is a mess, everyone brings a lot of depth and layers to these characters. The show works because of the great acting, the solid character arcs, and the intriguing (and constantly shifting) relationships.

Also can we talk about how 2/3 of Gong Zishang's screentime was her sexually harassing Jin Fan??????? It wasn't cute and funny, it was deeply uncomfortable and I really don't like that the writers had him reciprocate her feelings....

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amazing romance, must watch

Honestly kind of crazy that this was released given how strict censorship can be for CDramas and this is just so unmistakably gay. I give the story 7/10 because I honestly thought the whole armory plot was kind of boring and I think the final 2 episodes turn unnecessarily tragic so I felt like the ending was fumbled, but WenZhou is EVERYTHING and I love their little family unit with Chengling, like those are his dads 🥹🥹🥹🥹. Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu have been through The Horrors™️and still remain kind and just... the way they are devoted to each other. I am so unwell if I think about them for too long. The character arcs are incredibly satisfying and moving, watching WKX and ZZS discover love and find things worth fighting for and rediscover their passion for being alive. Also Gong Jun is just so so so so so good as Wen Kexing like I am so obsessed with him, easily near the top of my favorite characters list.

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