This review may contain spoilers
The first 3.5 episodes of this were just a compilation of sexual assault. There was absolutely nothing romantic, sweet, entertaining, or redeeming about them. After that, while it doesn’t become unproblematic, it becomes a whole lot more tolerable and less horrifying. I’d rate this a 7 if it wasn’t for all the sexual assault.
The main issue is just that there’s zero consent whatsoever. A Tuo does whatever he wants whenever he wants, and doesn’t even pause if Jun Xi doesn’t like it or says “no”. And the only reason that it gets better after 3.5 episodes is not because A Tuo starts respecting consent - it’s because Jun Xi starts consenting.
In the first sexual assault scene, they go to a movie and A Tuo essentially feels up Jun Xi while pretending he’s just picking up fallen popcorn. Jun Xi looks shocked, displays zero welcoming body language, and asks what he’s doing, but it doesn’t stop A Tuo. Jun Xi gets aroused and goes to the bathroom, and A Tuo follows him and asks if they should help each other out. But he doesn’t give Jun Xi the opportunity to answer. He repeatedly kisses Jun Xi and reaches into his pants while Jun Xi pushes him away and tells him to hold on multiple times, all while displaying extremely uncomfortable body language. Jun Xi eventually gives in after probably the 3rd time A Tuo reaches into his pants after being told no.
In the second sexual assault scene, they’re playing the lead roles in a play, and A Tuo kisses Jun Xi for real even though they had agreed upon a fake kiss. He acts like he did nothing wrong and gaslights Jun Xi, saying he should be happy because it got a good audience reaction and would lure more club members. When Jun Xi says that he should have asked first, he doubles down and says that Jun Xi is the one that kissed him this time, even though that only happened because A Tuo pulled him in. And then A Tuo backs Jun Xi into the wall and noncon kisses him again, after confessing his feelings, until Jun Xi pushes him away.
There’s also a scene where Jun Xi is lying in bed with sunburn, and A Tuo pins him down and physically restrains him while Jun Xi is protesting, saying no, and clearly thinks he’s about to be sexually assaulted again. I don’t care that he was just trying to help with the sunburn. No means no, physically or verbally. Silence means no. Discomfort means no. Nothing except an explicit yes means yes, and that extends beyond just sexual activities.
After A Tuo confesses his feelings and starts giving Jun Xi the silent treatment when he doesn’t respond positively, Jun Xi tries to talk to A Tuo. He says he’s confused about his feelings, but A Tuo takes that as permission to pin Jun Xi against the wall and noncon kisses him again. He insists that Jun Xi likes him the way that he likes Jun Xi. Jun Xi repeatedly tells A Tuo to let him go, but A Tuo refuses, doubling down that Jun Xi likes him, until Jun Xi forcibly pushes him away. And after that, Jun Xi mentally excuses A Tuo’s behavior, thinking that he shouldn’t have pushed him and that he only acted that way because he likes Jun Xi.
When they get together, A Tuo chases Jun Xi down on the street, grabs his wrist and refuses to let go despite repeated verbal and physical protests, drags him all the way home, steals Jun Xi’s keys, lets himself in, and then refuses to leave when asked to. He noncon hugs Jun Xi from behind, and when Jun Xi is uncomfortable and makes an excuse to leave, he noncon kisses him again. This kiss eventually turns consensual and from here on, A Tuo takes it to mean they’re together.
Except Jun Xi was never given the time to process what he was feeling, even after communicating that he was confused. And not one physical interaction between them has been consensual. Jun Xi constantly looks uncomfortable. It’s like he was just pushed into this and not given any real opportunity to say no. Even at school the next day, he tries to stay with his friend instead of walking home with A Tuo but A Tuo pulls him away by the wrist once again. When they’re hanging out and A Tuo kisses him, Jun Xi immediately makes an excuse to leave.
Jun Xi tells A Tuo that it’s annoying that he gets jealous over everything and that they got together too fast and he needs time to adjust. A Tuo responds by once again trying to kiss him, and Jun Xi stops him, telling him to not just kiss him whenever he wants until he’s adjusted. A Tuo says that he likes Jun Xi and therefore wants to kiss him, and somehow it turns into a game of rock paper scissors where Jun Xi wins, saying no touching or kissing unless he says it’s okay. I’m sorry, but why are they arguing about whether Jun Xi has the right to consent before A Tuo just does whatever he wants? He had to win a game of rock paper scissors to get A Tuo to agree to wait for his consent? And the worst part is, A Tuo says he’ll agree, but only for a month, and in exchange Jun Xi has to do something that he wants him to do. Like why is this a negotiation?
And while A Tuo semi-follows the consent rule, he does it in a manipulative, punitory way. He acts cold and distant, and when Jun Xi himself initiates contact, he ends it and says he’s just adhering to the rules. The rules weren’t no physical intimacy, they were no nonconsensual physical intimacy, but apparently A Tuo doesn’t know the difference. And then, he says that according to their agreement, Jun Xi has to do something A Tuo wants him to do, and proceeds to noncon kiss him AGAIN. Jun Xi pushes him away and says to wait, but he continues anyways. And then it turns consensual and they have sex (consensually). So all that negotiation about consent and waiting until Jun Xi was ready was for absolutely nothing because A Tuo just ignored and manipulated his way out of it.
There’s also dubcon scene in the shower after they initially have sex. A Tuo tries to initiate a second round and Jun Xi verbally protests, saying “wait” and “hold on” and complains about still being sore. He’s verbally protesting but is smiling and does reciprocate physically.
A Tuo is also just extremely manipulative. He will lie about his intentions to try to get Jun Xi to do or feel what he wants. For example, feeling him up while pretending he was just picking up popcorn. Or telling him he’d help him confess to a girl while instead intending to get close to him and convince Jun Xi to like him instead. And he gaslights Jun Xi as well, telling him that their sexual encounter at the movies was just him helping and that close friends often do that. And telling him that he didn’t initiate the kiss during the play and that Jun Xi should be thankful for attracting club members. He also dated every single girl that ever showed an interest in Jun Xi himself so that Jun Xi wouldn’t end up dating them. (Jun Xi is barely even upset about this, and seems to take it as a compliment, which is a whole different issue.) And when Jun Xi says he only wants touching and kissing if he consents first, A Tuo responds in a punitory way by acting cold and distant and by ending any physical contact that Jun Xi initiates.
There’s also a number of boundary violation issues. A Tuo repeatedly invades Jun Xi’s personal space, getting in his face, backing him up, and touching him after being told not to. There are a number of scenes where he grabs Jun Xi’s wrist and refuses to let go, either trying to prevent him from leaving or dragging him along. He’s the type of caring that’s really just controlling, because it removes Jun Xi’s personal agency and right to make his own choices. He’s domineering, controlling, and pushy, and will persist and manipulate until he gets the outcome he wants, regardless of what other people want.
He’s also extremely jealous, to the point of being controlling. He explicitly says that Jun Xi is not allowed to be close to girls. He grabs him by the wrist and drags him away when he talks to a girl that’s just asking for notes. He doesn’t even let him take back a sweatshirt that he loaned to a girl because she likes him. Meanwhile, he’s secretly hanging out with his ex (as part of a job to make money to buy a surprise present for Jun Xi), and letting her hang onto his arm. A Tuo would blow a gasket if Jun Xi was hanging out with an ex, if he was doing it behind A Tuo’s back, and if he was allowing her to touch him. But Jun Xi doesn’t even mind the ex tagging along with their friend group. The only time he gets jealous is of A Tuo’s boss, and even then, he doesn’t intervene in anyway. He doesn’t tell off the boss, drag A Tuo away, or tell him he’s not allowed to talk to his boss or that he needs to quit his job. The double standard is not at all acknowledged. A Tuo literally gets jealous of Jun Xi’s 5 year old nephew, saying he’s not allowed to kiss him, and was jealous of Jun Xi’s brother as a kid since Jun Xi liked him more at the time.
There were a few things that I liked, though, towards the end of the series. I liked the general relationship story line, with moving in together, exchanging couple rings, choosing each other even at the risk of family disapproval, and coming out. I liked that at the end, they were working on building a life together, working towards saving for wedding rings and building their childhood dream home. And I liked that A Tuo eventually acknowledged his insecurity issues, with his jealousy problems, breaking up with Jun Xi so he wouldn’t break up with him first, dating girls so they wouldn’t date Jun Xi, and pressuring Jun Xi into a relationship. But he never acknowledged his sexual assault / ignoring consent problem, and I think that was the most glaring issue that needed to be addressed.
I also liked that A Tuo said he would be okay with being either top or bottom. Of course, it’s a BL and stereotypes dictate that the big domineering one must be the top and the smaller reluctant one must be the bottom, even though your appearance and behavior have nothing to do with your sexual preferences…so A Tuo ends up being the top and Jun Xi ends up being the bottom. But I appreciated that A Tuo was open to options and didn’t just demand or presume that he would be the top. (This would have been a great opportunity to showcase a versatile couple, and/or to challenge behavior / appearance stereotypes, but I digress.) I also liked that when Jun Xi eventually reciprocated, he was an active participant and initiated. When they first have sex, he kind of just lies there even though it was actually consensual for once. But as the show goes on, he’s a much more active participant and begins to initiate himself. By the end, the affection was completely mutual.
The main issue is just that there’s zero consent whatsoever. A Tuo does whatever he wants whenever he wants, and doesn’t even pause if Jun Xi doesn’t like it or says “no”. And the only reason that it gets better after 3.5 episodes is not because A Tuo starts respecting consent - it’s because Jun Xi starts consenting.
In the first sexual assault scene, they go to a movie and A Tuo essentially feels up Jun Xi while pretending he’s just picking up fallen popcorn. Jun Xi looks shocked, displays zero welcoming body language, and asks what he’s doing, but it doesn’t stop A Tuo. Jun Xi gets aroused and goes to the bathroom, and A Tuo follows him and asks if they should help each other out. But he doesn’t give Jun Xi the opportunity to answer. He repeatedly kisses Jun Xi and reaches into his pants while Jun Xi pushes him away and tells him to hold on multiple times, all while displaying extremely uncomfortable body language. Jun Xi eventually gives in after probably the 3rd time A Tuo reaches into his pants after being told no.
In the second sexual assault scene, they’re playing the lead roles in a play, and A Tuo kisses Jun Xi for real even though they had agreed upon a fake kiss. He acts like he did nothing wrong and gaslights Jun Xi, saying he should be happy because it got a good audience reaction and would lure more club members. When Jun Xi says that he should have asked first, he doubles down and says that Jun Xi is the one that kissed him this time, even though that only happened because A Tuo pulled him in. And then A Tuo backs Jun Xi into the wall and noncon kisses him again, after confessing his feelings, until Jun Xi pushes him away.
There’s also a scene where Jun Xi is lying in bed with sunburn, and A Tuo pins him down and physically restrains him while Jun Xi is protesting, saying no, and clearly thinks he’s about to be sexually assaulted again. I don’t care that he was just trying to help with the sunburn. No means no, physically or verbally. Silence means no. Discomfort means no. Nothing except an explicit yes means yes, and that extends beyond just sexual activities.
After A Tuo confesses his feelings and starts giving Jun Xi the silent treatment when he doesn’t respond positively, Jun Xi tries to talk to A Tuo. He says he’s confused about his feelings, but A Tuo takes that as permission to pin Jun Xi against the wall and noncon kisses him again. He insists that Jun Xi likes him the way that he likes Jun Xi. Jun Xi repeatedly tells A Tuo to let him go, but A Tuo refuses, doubling down that Jun Xi likes him, until Jun Xi forcibly pushes him away. And after that, Jun Xi mentally excuses A Tuo’s behavior, thinking that he shouldn’t have pushed him and that he only acted that way because he likes Jun Xi.
When they get together, A Tuo chases Jun Xi down on the street, grabs his wrist and refuses to let go despite repeated verbal and physical protests, drags him all the way home, steals Jun Xi’s keys, lets himself in, and then refuses to leave when asked to. He noncon hugs Jun Xi from behind, and when Jun Xi is uncomfortable and makes an excuse to leave, he noncon kisses him again. This kiss eventually turns consensual and from here on, A Tuo takes it to mean they’re together.
Except Jun Xi was never given the time to process what he was feeling, even after communicating that he was confused. And not one physical interaction between them has been consensual. Jun Xi constantly looks uncomfortable. It’s like he was just pushed into this and not given any real opportunity to say no. Even at school the next day, he tries to stay with his friend instead of walking home with A Tuo but A Tuo pulls him away by the wrist once again. When they’re hanging out and A Tuo kisses him, Jun Xi immediately makes an excuse to leave.
Jun Xi tells A Tuo that it’s annoying that he gets jealous over everything and that they got together too fast and he needs time to adjust. A Tuo responds by once again trying to kiss him, and Jun Xi stops him, telling him to not just kiss him whenever he wants until he’s adjusted. A Tuo says that he likes Jun Xi and therefore wants to kiss him, and somehow it turns into a game of rock paper scissors where Jun Xi wins, saying no touching or kissing unless he says it’s okay. I’m sorry, but why are they arguing about whether Jun Xi has the right to consent before A Tuo just does whatever he wants? He had to win a game of rock paper scissors to get A Tuo to agree to wait for his consent? And the worst part is, A Tuo says he’ll agree, but only for a month, and in exchange Jun Xi has to do something that he wants him to do. Like why is this a negotiation?
And while A Tuo semi-follows the consent rule, he does it in a manipulative, punitory way. He acts cold and distant, and when Jun Xi himself initiates contact, he ends it and says he’s just adhering to the rules. The rules weren’t no physical intimacy, they were no nonconsensual physical intimacy, but apparently A Tuo doesn’t know the difference. And then, he says that according to their agreement, Jun Xi has to do something A Tuo wants him to do, and proceeds to noncon kiss him AGAIN. Jun Xi pushes him away and says to wait, but he continues anyways. And then it turns consensual and they have sex (consensually). So all that negotiation about consent and waiting until Jun Xi was ready was for absolutely nothing because A Tuo just ignored and manipulated his way out of it.
There’s also dubcon scene in the shower after they initially have sex. A Tuo tries to initiate a second round and Jun Xi verbally protests, saying “wait” and “hold on” and complains about still being sore. He’s verbally protesting but is smiling and does reciprocate physically.
A Tuo is also just extremely manipulative. He will lie about his intentions to try to get Jun Xi to do or feel what he wants. For example, feeling him up while pretending he was just picking up popcorn. Or telling him he’d help him confess to a girl while instead intending to get close to him and convince Jun Xi to like him instead. And he gaslights Jun Xi as well, telling him that their sexual encounter at the movies was just him helping and that close friends often do that. And telling him that he didn’t initiate the kiss during the play and that Jun Xi should be thankful for attracting club members. He also dated every single girl that ever showed an interest in Jun Xi himself so that Jun Xi wouldn’t end up dating them. (Jun Xi is barely even upset about this, and seems to take it as a compliment, which is a whole different issue.) And when Jun Xi says he only wants touching and kissing if he consents first, A Tuo responds in a punitory way by acting cold and distant and by ending any physical contact that Jun Xi initiates.
There’s also a number of boundary violation issues. A Tuo repeatedly invades Jun Xi’s personal space, getting in his face, backing him up, and touching him after being told not to. There are a number of scenes where he grabs Jun Xi’s wrist and refuses to let go, either trying to prevent him from leaving or dragging him along. He’s the type of caring that’s really just controlling, because it removes Jun Xi’s personal agency and right to make his own choices. He’s domineering, controlling, and pushy, and will persist and manipulate until he gets the outcome he wants, regardless of what other people want.
He’s also extremely jealous, to the point of being controlling. He explicitly says that Jun Xi is not allowed to be close to girls. He grabs him by the wrist and drags him away when he talks to a girl that’s just asking for notes. He doesn’t even let him take back a sweatshirt that he loaned to a girl because she likes him. Meanwhile, he’s secretly hanging out with his ex (as part of a job to make money to buy a surprise present for Jun Xi), and letting her hang onto his arm. A Tuo would blow a gasket if Jun Xi was hanging out with an ex, if he was doing it behind A Tuo’s back, and if he was allowing her to touch him. But Jun Xi doesn’t even mind the ex tagging along with their friend group. The only time he gets jealous is of A Tuo’s boss, and even then, he doesn’t intervene in anyway. He doesn’t tell off the boss, drag A Tuo away, or tell him he’s not allowed to talk to his boss or that he needs to quit his job. The double standard is not at all acknowledged. A Tuo literally gets jealous of Jun Xi’s 5 year old nephew, saying he’s not allowed to kiss him, and was jealous of Jun Xi’s brother as a kid since Jun Xi liked him more at the time.
There were a few things that I liked, though, towards the end of the series. I liked the general relationship story line, with moving in together, exchanging couple rings, choosing each other even at the risk of family disapproval, and coming out. I liked that at the end, they were working on building a life together, working towards saving for wedding rings and building their childhood dream home. And I liked that A Tuo eventually acknowledged his insecurity issues, with his jealousy problems, breaking up with Jun Xi so he wouldn’t break up with him first, dating girls so they wouldn’t date Jun Xi, and pressuring Jun Xi into a relationship. But he never acknowledged his sexual assault / ignoring consent problem, and I think that was the most glaring issue that needed to be addressed.
I also liked that A Tuo said he would be okay with being either top or bottom. Of course, it’s a BL and stereotypes dictate that the big domineering one must be the top and the smaller reluctant one must be the bottom, even though your appearance and behavior have nothing to do with your sexual preferences…so A Tuo ends up being the top and Jun Xi ends up being the bottom. But I appreciated that A Tuo was open to options and didn’t just demand or presume that he would be the top. (This would have been a great opportunity to showcase a versatile couple, and/or to challenge behavior / appearance stereotypes, but I digress.) I also liked that when Jun Xi eventually reciprocated, he was an active participant and initiated. When they first have sex, he kind of just lies there even though it was actually consensual for once. But as the show goes on, he’s a much more active participant and begins to initiate himself. By the end, the affection was completely mutual.
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