Some of the premises of the above contain some factual errors. In some cases the drama was subtle about certain…
Agreed, I kept wondering if she could get any more shameless. Crazy to think that had her lover not lied to her about camping there wouldn't have been this tearful apology scene and no guilt would have been forthcoming, just like there was none before. Or, frankly, even after, and even at the time of the apology she managed to make something that should have been focused on the person she was apologizing to, be about herself, even as DH was telling her she had made him feel completely worthless, unworthy of basic loyalty, honesty and respect and totally destroyed his emotional confidence. Thankfully JA was listening in and told him he was a good person.
It was kind of strange, because it came after the scene in the car where she recalled how she mistreated him, and how he responded with kindness and took care of her, nursing her in bed despite knowing of her affair, feeding her porridge, etc (incidentally, compare that with the way he had to take care of himself when he came home from the fight with the money lender, and YH was more preoccupied with contacting her lover and checking whether her deception had been exposed than about helping DH).
So, in terms of guilt, I would say definitely too little and too late, and, one gets the impression, because things didn't work out with her lover. But not even that, because she continued to gaslight him even after her affair ended, and frankly even after discovering he knew (the scene where they mention her not being home and the vicious cycle and she nitpicks and rejects his compromise, despite having raised the issue, came after the flashback in the car after she discovered he knew).
Again, I would put this even after her apology, the latter excluded: compare that to her apology when she was forced to admit that she knew of JA, where she didn't attack DH and make it about herself in the way she did with her previous apology. In that respect, I hope that her departure at the end was due to DH telling her he wanted to separate, rather than her abandoning him right when he needed all the support he could get, dealing with the public humiliation of her affair being known by everyone at the company... That would have been consistent with their character arcs, with YH not being so self serving anymore and DH realizing that he didn't need to sacrifice himself and stay with her for the sake of his child and family, because he wouldn't want his son to live that way, so he shouldn't either.
I did find YH to be a rather horrible wife and mother, and frankly person. She did repent and change through the…
It should be noted that future success cannot be used to imply past success. Those were completely different situations.The most basic fact here is that he should have been able to make a fully informed decision about something as important as taking on new risk to start a new business.
In the future, he had the additional money and expertise that came from working at a higher level at his current company. The abusive CEO was out of the picture and couldn't mess with him. He was on speaking terms with the chairman. His brothers' business was running well. There was no shocking revelation on the horizon, such that his wife was having an affair with his abusive boss and leaving him to join him after conspiring him to get him out of a job. Which, in and of itself, would have utterly wrecked him right at the critical moment of starting a new business: a disaster waiting to happen. In general, he was at a place, mentally and emotionally, to have the confidence to make an informed decision to take on the risk to start a new business.
In the past, none of that was the case. He was depressed, I am tempted to say suicidally so, given the way he talked about wishing he had never been born. The CEO and his goons were around to mess with him, and one guesses they wouldn't have given him an easy time, whether in terms of the new business or future employment: setting aside the fact that if it was so easy to get a new job people at the company wouldn't be putting up with the abuse they were subjected to, DH, despite being the ace of his previous team, was now being suppressed and was essentially demoted. The chances that the CEO's goons would give him good references if he was to look for new employment, or if people background checked him when he started his new business (with no contacts, zero business experience, contrary to even some of the previously successful people in the neighborhood that tried and failed), were essentially zero: it would just be common sense, to preempt reputational damage in case DH complained about his former employer, not to mention that it's not as if they needed additional reasons to mess with him.
His brother's business had also just started out, and his bank account was nearly emptied out because he needed to support them (we see it in ep1 when he takes out money on credit to give his older brother, telling him it was from YH)... it was simply not the time to take on additional risk, it would have been insane and irresponsible (not to mention the other stuff about the funeral, etc.). He has experience with other business failing, even run from previously successful people in the neighborhood, including his brother, some of which with more business experience than him (who had none). And he did worry about his subordinates as well, if the business failed, which YH completely disregarded. Of course, the "bomb" she was about to drop on him would have virtually guaranteed that this was going to be a train wreck, as mentioned above.
And she proposed he finance this by mortaging the house. And did so for self serving reasons, because of her self image. So that she could pretend that this was anything but what it actually was. And marry a lover who would have been ready to frame and fire her husband. Not sure why, after he slept with a subordinate's wife, which was entirely inappropriate conduct, DH should have been the one losing his job, when her lover was in a much better position, economically and in terms of opportunities, to gain new employment. On top of being massively unfair. Not that she ever bothered to ask that question.
The bottom line is that this was a massive risk that he should have taken when he felt ready, Not something she pressured him and manipulated him (leveraging his supposed insecurities -not that DH felt insecure about working under the CEO- and the workplace abuse he suffered) into for self serving reasons, for her self image, so she could pretend this was not what it actually was and go on to marry a guy who had been ready to frame and fire him (him being willing to do that was not a deal breaker for her, but him lying about camping was... twenty years and a child together). And, of course, once she broke up with her lover, there was no mention of this anymore, in fact she told JA that now that she was no longer with the CEO it had nothing to do with her and she didn't care even if DH was framed and fired (which would have made finding new employment even harder, with that on his record, even setting aside the essentially zero chance that the CEO's goons would have given him positive references).
In general, even when it came to DH's happiness, anything from the job he did vs starting a business, to meeting his friends, to just being unhappy, was something that incredibly came back to being about her, instead of him: she didn't like that she was unable to make him happy, that was her preoccupation, not the fact that DH was unhappy. Self serving and self absorbed. Compare this with JA's behavior when she tells DH that she wants him to be happy, and mean it, and it was not self serving, she didn't make it about herself in a self absorbed, self centered manner, in fact she was ready to sacrifice herself to make it happen. Crazy.
Frankly, I thought FL was a pretty appalling wife, mother and generally person. She verbally and emotionally abused…
Future success cannot be used to imply past success. Those were completely different situations.The most basic fact here is that he should have been able to make a fully informed decision about something as important as taking on new risk to start a new business.
In the future, he had the additional money and expertise that came from working at a higher level at his current company. The abusive CEO was out of the picture and couldn't mess with him. He was on speaking terms with the chairman. His brothers' business was running well. There was no shocking revelation on the horizon, such that his wife was having an affair with his abusive boss and leaving him to join him after conspiring him to get him out of a job. Which, in and of itself, would have utterly wrecked him right at the critical moment of starting a new business: a disaster waiting to happen. In general, he was at a place, mentally and emotionally, to have the confidence to make an informed decision to take on the risk to start a new business.
In the past, none of that was the case. He was depressed, I am tempted to say suicidally so, given the way he talked about wishing he had never been born. The CEO and his goons were around to mess with him, and one guesses they wouldn't have given him an easy time, whether in terms of the new business or future employment: setting aside the fact that if it was so easy to get a new job people at the company wouldn't be putting up with the abuse they were subjected to, DH, despite being the ace of his previous team, was now being suppressed and was essentially demoted. The chances that the CEO's goons would give him good references if he was to look for new employment, or if people background checked him when he started his new business (with no contacts, zero business experience, contrary to even some of the previously successful people in the neighborhood that tried and failed), were essentially zero: it would just be common sense, to preempt reputational damage in case DH complained about his former employer, not to mention that it's not as if they needed additional reasons to mess with him.
His brother's business had also just started out, and his bank account was nearly emptied out because he needed to support them (we see it in ep1 when he takes out money on credit to give his older brother, telling him it was from YH)... it was simply not the time to take on additional risk, it would have been insane and irresponsible (not to mention the other stuff about the funeral, etc.). He has experience with other business failing, even run from previously successful people in the neighborhood, including his brother, some of which with more business experience than him (who had none). And he did worry about his subordinates as well, if the business failed, which YH completely disregarded. Of course, the "bomb" she was about to drop on him would have virtually guaranteed that this was going to be a train wreck, as mentioned above.
And she proposed he finance this by mortaging the house. And did so for self serving reasons, because of her self image. So that she could pretend that this was anything but what it actually was. And marry a lover who would have been ready to frame and fire her husband. Not sure why, after he slept with a subordinate's wife, which was entirely inappropriate conduct, DH should have been the one losing his job, when her lover was in a much better position, economically and in terms of opportunities, to gain new employment. On top of being massively unfair. Not that she ever bothered to ask that question.
The bottom line is that this was a massive risk that he should have taken when he felt ready, Not something she pressured him and manipulated him (leveraging his supposed insecurities -not that DH felt insecure about working under the CEO- and the workplace abuse he suffered) into for self serving reasons, for her self image, so she could pretend this was not what it actually was and go on to marry a guy who had been ready to frame and fire him (him being willing to do that was not a deal breaker for her, but him lying about camping was... twenty years and a child together). And, of course, once she broke up with her lover, there was no mention of this anymore, in fact she told JA that now that she was no longer with the CEO it had nothing to do with her and she didn't care even if DH was framed and fired (which would have made finding new employment even harder, with that on his record, even setting aside the essentially zero chance that the CEO's goons would have given him positive references).
In general, even when it came to DH's happiness, anything from him being unhappy at his job, to the job he did vs starting a business, to meeting his friends, to just being unhappy, was something that incredibly came back to being about her, instead of him: she didn't like that she was unable to make him happy, that was her preoccupation, not the fact that DH was unhappy. Self serving and self absorbed. Compare this with JA's behavior when she tells DH that she wants him to be happy, and mean it, and it was not self serving, she didn't make it about herself in a self absorbed, self centered manner, in fact she was ready to sacrifice herself to make it happen.
It was kind of strange, because it came after the scene in the car where she recalled how she mistreated him, and how he responded with kindness and took care of her, nursing her in bed despite knowing of her affair, feeding her porridge, etc (incidentally, compare that with the way he had to take care of himself when he came home from the fight with the money lender, and YH was more preoccupied with contacting her lover and checking whether her deception had been exposed than about helping DH).
So, in terms of guilt, I would say definitely too little and too late, and, one gets the impression, because things didn't work out with her lover. But not even that, because she continued to gaslight him even after her affair ended, and frankly even after discovering he knew (the scene where they mention her not being home and the vicious cycle and she nitpicks and rejects his compromise, despite having raised the issue, came after the flashback in the car after she discovered he knew).
Again, I would put this even after her apology, the latter excluded: compare that to her apology when she was forced to admit that she knew of JA, where she didn't attack DH and make it about herself in the way she did with her previous apology. In that respect, I hope that her departure at the end was due to DH telling her he wanted to separate, rather than her abandoning him right when he needed all the support he could get, dealing with the public humiliation of her affair being known by everyone at the company... That would have been consistent with their character arcs, with YH not being so self serving anymore and DH realizing that he didn't need to sacrifice himself and stay with her for the sake of his child and family, because he wouldn't want his son to live that way, so he shouldn't either.
In the future, he had the additional money and expertise that came from working at a higher level at his current company. The abusive CEO was out of the picture and couldn't mess with him. He was on speaking terms with the chairman. His brothers' business was running well. There was no shocking revelation on the horizon, such that his wife was having an affair with his abusive boss and leaving him to join him after conspiring him to get him out of a job. Which, in and of itself, would have utterly wrecked him right at the critical moment of starting a new business: a disaster waiting to happen. In general, he was at a place, mentally and emotionally, to have the confidence to make an informed decision to take on the risk to start a new business.
In the past, none of that was the case. He was depressed, I am tempted to say suicidally so, given the way he talked about wishing he had never been born. The CEO and his goons were around to mess with him, and one guesses they wouldn't have given him an easy time, whether in terms of the new business or future employment: setting aside the fact that if it was so easy to get a new job people at the company wouldn't be putting up with the abuse they were subjected to, DH, despite being the ace of his previous team, was now being suppressed and was essentially demoted. The chances that the CEO's goons would give him good references if he was to look for new employment, or if people background checked him when he started his new business (with no contacts, zero business experience, contrary to even some of the previously successful people in the neighborhood that tried and failed), were essentially zero: it would just be common sense, to preempt reputational damage in case DH complained about his former employer, not to mention that it's not as if they needed additional reasons to mess with him.
His brother's business had also just started out, and his bank account was nearly emptied out because he needed to support them (we see it in ep1 when he takes out money on credit to give his older brother, telling him it was from YH)... it was simply not the time to take on additional risk, it would have been insane and irresponsible (not to mention the other stuff about the funeral, etc.). He has experience with other business failing, even run from previously successful people in the neighborhood, including his brother, some of which with more business experience than him (who had none). And he did worry about his subordinates as well, if the business failed, which YH completely disregarded. Of course, the "bomb" she was about to drop on him would have virtually guaranteed that this was going to be a train wreck, as mentioned above.
And she proposed he finance this by mortaging the house. And did so for self serving reasons, because of her self image. So that she could pretend that this was anything but what it actually was. And marry a lover who would have been ready to frame and fire her husband. Not sure why, after he slept with a subordinate's wife, which was entirely inappropriate conduct, DH should have been the one losing his job, when her lover was in a much better position, economically and in terms of opportunities, to gain new employment. On top of being massively unfair. Not that she ever bothered to ask that question.
The bottom line is that this was a massive risk that he should have taken when he felt ready, Not something she pressured him and manipulated him (leveraging his supposed insecurities -not that DH felt insecure about working under the CEO- and the workplace abuse he suffered) into for self serving reasons, for her self image, so she could pretend this was not what it actually was and go on to marry a guy who had been ready to frame and fire him (him being willing to do that was not a deal breaker for her, but him lying about camping was... twenty years and a child together). And, of course, once she broke up with her lover, there was no mention of this anymore, in fact she told JA that now that she was no longer with the CEO it had nothing to do with her and she didn't care even if DH was framed and fired (which would have made finding new employment even harder, with that on his record, even setting aside the essentially zero chance that the CEO's goons would have given him positive references).
In general, even when it came to DH's happiness, anything from the job he did vs starting a business, to meeting his friends, to just being unhappy, was something that incredibly came back to being about her, instead of him: she didn't like that she was unable to make him happy, that was her preoccupation, not the fact that DH was unhappy. Self serving and self absorbed. Compare this with JA's behavior when she tells DH that she wants him to be happy, and mean it, and it was not self serving, she didn't make it about herself in a self absorbed, self centered manner, in fact she was ready to sacrifice herself to make it happen. Crazy.
In the future, he had the additional money and expertise that came from working at a higher level at his current company. The abusive CEO was out of the picture and couldn't mess with him. He was on speaking terms with the chairman. His brothers' business was running well. There was no shocking revelation on the horizon, such that his wife was having an affair with his abusive boss and leaving him to join him after conspiring him to get him out of a job. Which, in and of itself, would have utterly wrecked him right at the critical moment of starting a new business: a disaster waiting to happen. In general, he was at a place, mentally and emotionally, to have the confidence to make an informed decision to take on the risk to start a new business.
In the past, none of that was the case. He was depressed, I am tempted to say suicidally so, given the way he talked about wishing he had never been born. The CEO and his goons were around to mess with him, and one guesses they wouldn't have given him an easy time, whether in terms of the new business or future employment: setting aside the fact that if it was so easy to get a new job people at the company wouldn't be putting up with the abuse they were subjected to, DH, despite being the ace of his previous team, was now being suppressed and was essentially demoted. The chances that the CEO's goons would give him good references if he was to look for new employment, or if people background checked him when he started his new business (with no contacts, zero business experience, contrary to even some of the previously successful people in the neighborhood that tried and failed), were essentially zero: it would just be common sense, to preempt reputational damage in case DH complained about his former employer, not to mention that it's not as if they needed additional reasons to mess with him.
His brother's business had also just started out, and his bank account was nearly emptied out because he needed to support them (we see it in ep1 when he takes out money on credit to give his older brother, telling him it was from YH)... it was simply not the time to take on additional risk, it would have been insane and irresponsible (not to mention the other stuff about the funeral, etc.). He has experience with other business failing, even run from previously successful people in the neighborhood, including his brother, some of which with more business experience than him (who had none). And he did worry about his subordinates as well, if the business failed, which YH completely disregarded. Of course, the "bomb" she was about to drop on him would have virtually guaranteed that this was going to be a train wreck, as mentioned above.
And she proposed he finance this by mortaging the house. And did so for self serving reasons, because of her self image. So that she could pretend that this was anything but what it actually was. And marry a lover who would have been ready to frame and fire her husband. Not sure why, after he slept with a subordinate's wife, which was entirely inappropriate conduct, DH should have been the one losing his job, when her lover was in a much better position, economically and in terms of opportunities, to gain new employment. On top of being massively unfair. Not that she ever bothered to ask that question.
The bottom line is that this was a massive risk that he should have taken when he felt ready, Not something she pressured him and manipulated him (leveraging his supposed insecurities -not that DH felt insecure about working under the CEO- and the workplace abuse he suffered) into for self serving reasons, for her self image, so she could pretend this was not what it actually was and go on to marry a guy who had been ready to frame and fire him (him being willing to do that was not a deal breaker for her, but him lying about camping was... twenty years and a child together). And, of course, once she broke up with her lover, there was no mention of this anymore, in fact she told JA that now that she was no longer with the CEO it had nothing to do with her and she didn't care even if DH was framed and fired (which would have made finding new employment even harder, with that on his record, even setting aside the essentially zero chance that the CEO's goons would have given him positive references).
In general, even when it came to DH's happiness, anything from him being unhappy at his job, to the job he did vs starting a business, to meeting his friends, to just being unhappy, was something that incredibly came back to being about her, instead of him: she didn't like that she was unable to make him happy, that was her preoccupation, not the fact that DH was unhappy. Self serving and self absorbed. Compare this with JA's behavior when she tells DH that she wants him to be happy, and mean it, and it was not self serving, she didn't make it about herself in a self absorbed, self centered manner, in fact she was ready to sacrifice herself to make it happen.