he is such an amazing versatile actor. i'm super impressed with his portrayal of gu qing pei, like he literally walked right out of the book and on screen. i hope he has a lot of success with his career.
After reading your novella I have to say I overall agree, with a few exceptions.Ping Jun isn't one dimensional.…
Thanks for reading my “novella.” I don’t know if you have the patience or time to read another but here is my response...
I do agree about Ping Jun. After re-watching yet again recently and thinking abt it for a while I changed my opinion on him being one-dimensional. I agree with your description of him except being possessive. I don't think he is possessive, I think he is insecure and the love he had for Hai Qing made desperation out for them to stay together. He definitely put up with a lot of bs and he deserved to get out of that relationship asap. My still only issue with him (or rather how he is portrayed) is that we are shown him being an angel that can do no wrong. There is no person, I believe, who does not have any bad qualities. Having bad qualities doesn't mean they are a bad person but they are human since we all have things abt us that are not likeable. They allowed us to see Yan Fei, Hai Qing, and Jimmy's unlikeable qualities, yet Ping Jun had none? I don't understand that. If it's to add to how pitiful he is at the end and through the whole ordeal then they definitely did that well but I don’t like how it was executed. I like Ping Jung's character and my criticism of him doesn't mean that I don't (not that you said that, it's me clarifying). Ping Jun is my second favorite character in this drama and Tim did an excellent job with him.
Saying Hai Qing is a sociopath is taking it a bit too extreme. He is not a sociopath. He did have guilt in what he was doing (multiple times) and told Yan Fei that he is breaking this off. Someone who is a sociopath wouldn't specifically feel the guilt and would not have a care in what they are doing that is actively hurting another person, since they are mostly focused on themselves and how they feel (alike to a narcissist). Hai Qing would have continued with Yan Fei not caring about how Ping Jun feels if he were a sociopath. He loves Ping Jun and DID feel remorse and he expressed it multiple times. He even told Yan Fei that if none of this happened between them that Ping Jun wouldn’t be the one who is hurt (both physically from his accident and also emotionally since Ping Jun was upset on the day it happened). He takes the blame upon himself and literally says it’s his “fault.” A sociopath would never even think of taking that responsibility. Ping Jun is the one that decided to break it off at the ending, citing that their happiness is used up and Hai Qing was taken aback by it. At this point Hai Qing’s choice was teetering between Ping Jun and Yan Fei, but imo during this convo I felt like he was more with Ping Jun even though he loves Yan Fei. Hai Qing even asked "don't you want to come with me?" about him going abroad. You can see through Hai Qing’s mannerisms and eyes that he realizes the pain Ping Jun’s had. He questions Ping Jun saying how little he is in Hai Qing’s timeline, and especially to how Ping Jun says how little their happiness is by which Hai Qing doesn’t necessarily agree about. Ping Jun is making the decision for Hai Qing to go with Yan Fei, a decision that is so selfless at that. I think if Ping Jun did not push that then Hai Qing would still be with him but what they've gone through has done damage. Hai Qing wouldn’t regret getting involved with Yan Fei since the beginning because that gave him hope in his life, but he does regret hurting Ping Jun from Yan Fei coming back into his life. Hai Qing sees what hurt and pain Ping Jun has through what he did and he does feel upset about it. I still don’t like how Hai Qing said those last words to Ping Jun, though. I have to disagree that Hai Qing is an emotional abuser. Hai Qing doesn’t want to control him, doesn’t want to police him, doesn’t belittle him, and the list goes on. Hai Qing is also a very insecure person and one that has a high wall trying to protect himself. At times he may think of himself rather than others due to his arrogance and selfishness, but it’s not from malice. He doesn’t lack the ability to understand other people’s emotions (he clearly can register them) but how he acts is a response to him having to take care of his own wellbeing and not knowing what/how to do with other people’s feelings about him. Honestly are we even watching the same drama? I’m not sure where you are seeing Hai Qing being an “emotional abuser” but I am a person that doesn’t take this accusation lightly as I have also been subject to it.
Honestly no other character can possibly surpass an emotionally + physically abusive and extremely manipulative character like Lu Feng. He owns that title. Hai Qing is not even 1% of what Lu Feng is. Lu Feng is on a whole different planet or even universe. Try watching Round Trip to Love and you’ll understand.
Hai Qing is capable of love as he IS in love with Ping Jun (and also obv Yan Fei) but it's clear that he is a person who doesn’t express his own feelings very well since (I’ve said already) he rushes into things with his emotions rather than trying to rationalize it. I do, however, think that he knows what he wants. He is not dumb. He does get better towards the end of the series though. Neither I nor the actors themselves can agree about it being a rebound (Tom, Charles, Yanming, and Tim have all disagreed with that assumption). It’s not a rebound, neither of them were seeking out another but it just happened. They were definitely in need of comfort from somewhere but it ended up being that their meeting was timed to coincide with what was happening in each other’s lives. Yan Fei already wanted out from his relationship with Jimmy (way before meeting him) and Hai Qing wasn’t looking for one. They didn’t go into it about using each other for their own personal gain (nor Yan Fei using it against Jimmy), but they truly fell in love with each other and each other’s presence. It's notable that Yan Fei is the first person Hai Qing has kissed and also his first love. They share a very passionate love together.
I agree that Hai Qing is arrogant and selfish. He is also a younger person (19 years old) and one that hasn’t fully matured to control or understand his own emotions. He reminds me a lot of a child. He still has a lot to learn and experience and grow. That doesn’t give an excuse to how he is or what he has done but rather a perspective. I can’t hold him to the same degree as I would Yan Fei, for example, as he is on a whole different level in maturity and age. As Ping Jun described Hai Qing: “unpredictable, can be selfish, angry, and can get jealous, says he doesn’t care but he does.” I agree with that description of him. I think Hai Qing's jealousy comes from his insecurity. He also battled a deep depression and came back from that. Hai Qing holds onto the trauma he has from his mother's death (now his grandfather) and that has melded into his personality (like pent up anger, insecurity etc). He had someone ripped out from his life and he's sensitive to possibly experiencing that again by someone leaving him. He's made a strong shield. His anger is connected to that as he cannot control his emotions especially when he is upset. I can understand Hai Qing in this sense because we all may have experienced some trauma in our lives.
Also you don’t 100% know that he will ultimately be alone. We are not given any ending making that concrete, it is an open ending and for our interpretation. The special episodes also may give us a clue in to their relationship, seeing as Yan Fei is waiting for him and through his subconscious we see the bond still being strong. We may be able to conclude that they are in contact while Hai Qing is away, otherwise I believe Yan Fei would not have a dream (or rather nightmare) about Hai Qing and their relationship. We are shown that not everything is rainbows between them, as they still need to grow together as a couple and learn more about each other. The soft scene where they are on the steps is so important, too, as it shows a warmth to their relationship and their closeness. Also the Hai Qing we see in Yan Fei’s dream is different from the series (he is open and warm compared). Yan Fei not having the same Hai Qing may show us how he has changed and grown otherwise we would still see the Hai Qing from the series. In his dream it’s not a Hai Qing that Yan Fei is wanting him to be, rather it’s a Hai Qing that may be a reality and what Yan Fei sees. Whatever may come their way they are deserving of each other and will get through it.
Yan Fei’s relationship with Jimmy is complex. Yan Fei’s loyalty to his mom is in exchange for his own happiness and Jimmy can’t understand that and why he has to be kept in the dark like a shameful act. They may love each other but ultimately they were bound to fail. Jimmy doesn’t want to be in the dark, he clearly is an open person and wants to show off that love (hence he tries to make Yan Fei jealous to get some attention). He is not afraid to be who he is and he needs someone who is like that. Yan Fei has a heavy responsibility on his shoulders and Jimmy can’t understand it. Yan Fei cares about Jimmy and his wellbeing and knows how hard it is for him to have to hide their relationship. They love each other but have no true 'intersecting point.'
I can’t disagree about Ping Jun having wonderful qualities because he does have them, to reiterate. It’s definitely logical to think about how Ping Jun’s qualities outshine Yan Fei’s. Sometimes it’s not about how someone’s qualities are better than another, there may be a singular feeling or experience that makes someone fall in love with another person. I think this is exactly that with regard to Yan Fei and Hai Qing. It’s such a reality that a person can have the most loving, wonderful partner but they are cheated on and their partner loves another. We see it from celebrities to maybe our own experiences too. It is unfair for those who have been cheated on but it’s really an example of what happens. People cheat for a multitude of reasons. I can’t sit here and name off the reasons why Yan Fei is deserving of love from Hai Qing rather than Ping Jun because that’s not what’s important in this conversation. Hai Qing is the one who is responsible for cheating on Ping Jun, not Yan Fei. The quote I like is what Yan Fei said: “At least, we don’t betray our hearts. Although the price we have to pay is so expensive, we can’t lie to our heart.” This can be applied to all four of them. They didn’t lie to their hearts about who they love, even Hai Qing who loved two people at once. Everyone has circumstances and we each as an individual are held responsible for the decisions we make, with whatever outcome and however our decisions may affect others. Hai Qing and Yan Fei had a lack of respect for their partners to cheat on them. What they did wasn't right. I'm not giving excuses for them. But this doesn't mean that they aren't deserving of loving each other or being in a relationship. Their passion for each other is not less deserving just because they wronged their partners. The complexity of this is not always understood and sometimes we just have to leave it at that.
Well, to each their own when it comes to this drama. A lot of people have mixed opinions but because it touches on such a sensitive subject it’s bound to upset people. I understand these people and respect their opinions (as with yours)! And I hope you will respect mine. I think we will keep going back and forth with our differing opinions so I will end our conversation on this note. Have a good day :)
This is quite lengthy sorry lol. I might be in the minority but I really, reaaaaaally loved this drama. It's my favorite BL to date. I agree with one of the reviews saying how this drama shows a lot of realities of life and we shouldn't always be shown things that mask that reality. I think this drama does an excellent job at depicting life's turmoils and also joys. Not all experiences in life are happy and a lot are hurtful, as shown by this drama. Some decisions seem easy written down but acting on them is a totally different thing. Showing the messy reality of one's life is what is needed in BL. The casting is spot on and I felt like they all had great chemistry. Obviously Tom and Charles are great friends irl so they had a natural chemistry, but I think Tom and Yanming clicked SO well. I didn't feel any hesitation or awkwardness in their acting and passionate scenes, and I really felt like their acting made me believe in their characters and their love. By the way, their first scene together was their love making scene. Can you believe that? And they gave us such an amazing scene, wow.
I think what I most like about this drama is that it shows that everybody has a side to them that is not likeable. We start out with our two leads in a very frustrating state of mind and it's clear to the viewer from watching them that we're not going into this immediately liking them. It really is done on purpose to show their current situation. Hai Qing is shown in a bad light with how selfish he is (that doesn't really change tbh) and his frustration is taken out on others, which really makes him look like a big jerk. Yan Fei is in a stressed environment with work and also his love life. Yan Fei may be deemed as inconsiderate and stoic, especially to Jimmy who only wants his affection and love. It's purposeful that our introductions to Jimmy and Ping Jun are not negative. The writers are setting it up to be that way. I felt pity for each character's situation.
Let me touch on Yan Fei and Jimmy for a second. Yan Fei and Jimmy's relationship is unhealthy in many instances, such as Jimmy's manipulation of holding Yan Fei's outing above his head. To me that made me instantly not like him and any sympathy I may have had went out of the window, especially when he outed Yan Fei right in front of him. If you've ever been in this unfortunate situation you know the horror and trauma of this, and those who haven't may not be able to imagine the feeling. Outing someone is seriously a dick move to do and one that the other can never get back. You took away that person's agency and that is SO wrong. Yan Fei was starting to give some assertiveness for their relationship (such as going away together) but then Jimmy pretty much ruins that by his jealousy and selfishness. Jimmy refuses to accept Yan Fei wanting to break up and to me that just shows how childish and desperate he really is. He may love Yan Fei with all his soul but his actions cause so much damage. He acknowledges that in their conversation in the car. It is an extremely unhealthy relationship for Yan Fei and one he needed to get out of, which numerous times he tried. Jimmy starting on the road to finding a peace with himself also made me glad for him. The love that he needs most is from himself. He created such a manipulative and unhealthy environment for both of them because of his jealousy and lack of getting the attention he needed from Yan Fei. Not to say he is all of what's at fault but he played a big part in it. Yan Fei likewise could have put more into trying to mend their rocky relationship and communicate better with Jimmy about their problems. It takes two to tango. Yan Fei's love for him was deteriorating at a pace that Jimmy could not stop, and his actions only helped quicken it. This is not to say that we also haven't acted on selfish impulse ourselves, because we all have to a point, but realizing it and trying to be a better person is what is important. Also, Yan Fei meeting with Jimmy and having the truth clearly laid out was important for Jimmy to understand. He may have been upset and owned up to his actions but for Yan Fei he has moved on already and Jimmy has to also. I pity Jimmy and I do wish for his happiness because he deserves as much love as he gives.
Also!! Yan Fei may have been introduced in a cold manner but he is NOT a cold character. That is what I think many are not realizing. He is not your typical cold, douche-y manager/ceo type seme character. I absolutely LOVE that Yan Fei breaks away from this characterization in a leveled manner and it was so fulfilling for me to experience a character like this. We are so used to this one-dimensional cold jerky seme kind of character and honestly I'm sick of it lmao. He is subtle in a lot of ways and has a undertone warmth to him that is refreshing. His treatment of Pinky especially showed that (and his joke about how Pinky might have expected him to be this stereotype was spot on). I loved his unapologetic attitude of addressing Pinky's inquiry of him being gay. That was one of the BEST things.
Real quick want to say that judging Yan Fei about not coming out to his mom is seriously disrespectful. Nobody can judge another person for not coming out at whatever time and for whoever. The only person that one should come out for is yourself, not a significant other who relentlessly guilt trips you. It's not about being ashamed of your partner, it has nothing to do with it. Yan Fei clearly was ready and determined to show his true self to his mom with Hai Qing, and just because he didn't with Jimmy doesn't mean that he was manipulative with Jimmy or that he didn't love him. I find some of these comments judging Yan Fei to be really disrespectful. Looking down on him and invalidating his struggle or criticizing for what he does and doesn't with his coming out is not the right thing to do even in real life. Nobody should be doing that with anybody. There is clearly a gap in understanding this situation. It was of real significance that Yan Fei decided to do that with Hai Qing and kept refusing what his mom was saying to get the truth into her head. He was in a time where he was confident with himself, his lover and their relationship, and things clearly aligned for him.
I really think that Yan Fei (and Hai Qing) still holding onto each other for such a long separation holds true. They both met each other during parts of their lives where they were on unhappy ends and that made a lasting impression on them, at least lasting enough to keep each other in their minds up until they finally met again. Even to hallucinate during love making with their partners, now that really speaks volumes. At first I didn't realize that Hai Qing took the place of Jimmy until I re-watched it and vice-versa when Ping Jung was replaced with Yan Fei. We have all had certain experiences that have changed us and hold strong in our memories. This exactly is that experience. During this time Yan Fei and Hai Qing meeting was like a beacon of hope, a light being shined. They were able to ignite a spark that had not been there for however amount of time. For Hai Qing, it was especially monumental as it was his first kiss.
I don't believe in Ping Jun's character being this holy saint with no bad qualities. It's one thing that I actually disliked about the character. I felt like his character was one-dimensional and could have a lot more to him. Ultimately the "good guy" doesn't get his happy ending, is what I think everybody is taking away from this drama. Isn't that true of life also though? Not everyone gets what they want in the end. Ping Jun's relationship with Hai Qing was not on the same level. Ping Jun acted more like his caretaker than anything and Hai Qing was comfortable with that. The importance is the world 'comfortable,' or even relating to being content. It especially was clear after Ping Jun's kindness of being there for Hai Qing when he was struggling with his depression. Since that moment it's never changed dynamic. Does Hai Qing love Ping Jun? Of course he does. It's so clear in how much they love each other and their presence together. But his relationship with Ping Jun and their dynamic is not on the same as Yan Fei. It's very different and one that does not make Hai Qing comfortable but challenges him and I think that's important for his character and development. I also felt like Ping Jun destroying Hai Qing's painting and then having to apologize made me a bit mad. Ping Jun doesn't need to apologize and be at Hai Qing's feet. This is exactly what I mean with Ping Jun being a caretaker and being the one to shoulder Hai Qing. All the attention went back to Hai Qing and him being upset about the painting, taking away from how Ping Jun felt. It's this moment when I felt the most upset for him, not at the end with him giving Hai Qing away to Yan Fei. It's this moment where Ping Jun needed to let go, but instead goes ahead with saying how Hai Qing should forget Yan Fei and they can carry on like normal. Doesn't this sound like someone? (cough Jimmy). This is not healthy at all. I really feel for Ping Jun, he loves Hai Qing so much that he'd be so selfless like this. However, it's making this relationship unhealthy. Not being on an equal level as your partner is damaging to both of them. Hai Qing was allowed comfort and Ping Jun happily took on responsibility for caring for Hai Qing's feelings/situation. IMO the best thing that ever happened is at the end with Yan Fei and Hai Qing finally being together. Ping Jun has needed to step away from Hai Qing and I'm glad it happened. I felt like Pin Jun was also fulfilling his sense of being needed and having to take care of someone by being with Hai Qing. Ping Jun grew up taking care of his sibling/s and that has become part of who he is. This harmed both of them. Regardless of my bias for Yan Fei and Hai Qing together, I was happy with Ping Jun being strong enough to break away. Although Hai Qing's "thank you" at the end was.... really not needed. Both Jimmy and Ping Jun go through their pain alone, and they both will have to learn to move on from this experience and heal.
There is also the question: what do you do when two people love you and vice-versa? Easy answer might be break up with the first person and go with the second. Easy right? Well, that's not really reality, is it? We all have different circumstances. Hai Qing knows how much Ping Jun loves him and how much he's done for him, and did not want to ruin his happiness or hurt him. He loves Ping Jung a lot, that's certain. Other side is that Yan Fei, who he has loved since their first meeting, is back in his life and he fell into passion with. Hai Qing did want to stop meeting Yan Fei and was making it clear but then Ping Jun saw them. He couldn't hide from the truth for Ping Jun. Ping Jun has been so selfless and has loved Hai Qing through his difficult times. There is a heavy weight Hai Qing carries through loving who he does and accepting love back. The learning aspect might be that it's brave to love someone but someone else may get hurt in the end. The other part may be that one has to let go of those who no longer have feelings same as you, such as Ping Jun and Jimmy. They are really similar like this. It took a lot for both of them to accept this. Yes, Hai Qing and Yan Fei were wrong to cheat and could have done this and that etc, but things are never easy in life especially when you love someone. It's messy and people get hurt through experiences. Love is not easy. I'm not giving excuses for what they did but rather trying to rationalize it.
About the open ending, I have no negative feelings about it. I'm actually fine with it being open ended and not specifically answering things. Such as: Will Ping Jun move on from this and find love himself? What's up with Jimmy now? Did Yan Fei's mom accept his relationship with Hai Qing? Will Hai Qing stay true to Yan Fei after being away for those years? Etc etc, I could list so many more. The question is do we REALLY need all this info? No, I don't think so. I think maybe the question about Yan Fei's mom might be the most important but the rest I don't think is of high importance. This series felt maybe a slight bit rushed but not overly. I felt like it was only rushed toward the ending but everything else had a good pace. It is character oriented as a drama and I liked that a lot. The SP also didn't make me upset. It just further showed their relationship and what they're going through, even if it was quite heartbreaking for Yan Fei. Seeing Hai Qing through Yan Fei's imagination was quite sad. They showed their tenderness and their conflict in such a short matter of time, both I think are especially needed to address in a relationship and they did to a point through Yan Fei's imagination. Yan Fei was showing his true self and heart through this and his insecurities, it was sweet and sad at the same time. Their relationship is hardly going to be easy. But I do believe they will get through it and become even stronger together. Tom did so wonderful showing Yan Fei's pain, I gotta give it to him for his teary eyes at the end gave me heart pains lol.
By the way, I LOVED how the drama was shot. The usage of shadows and the color blue was done so well. They really played around with each character and couples relationship by setting the tone of the scene. They executed that well. The music is so beautiful, also!
I want to recommend that those who have watched this should look up some of the actors' interviews. It's really interesting to hear about their thoughts on their characters and other characters. They are all really hilarious and are so laid back with each other. They aren't afraid to show skin ship and are open to a lot of things. I have to disagree with one of the reviewers talking about Tom and Yanming not getting on with each other. If you've watched all their interviews you would know that this is not at all the case. Tom and Yanming are good friends and it shows in their interviews. Even Tom has defended Hai Qing's character during one interview. Tom is a more introverted, chill guy and I don't think his lack of 'touching Yanming' says anything negative about their relationship. Yanming is a lot more touchy-feely than Tom. They both have reached out to each other during different times and just because they aren't all over each other doesn't mean they don't like each other. During their press interviews Tom and Charles were mostly paired off together, seeing as Tim and Yanming spent a lot of the drama as a couple. Also Tom and Charles are close friends so I don't see any negativity because I would also probably wanna hang out with my close friend too? I guess it depends on how we individually see things, but by their interviews it's not the case. They also paired up opposite each other, Tom with Tim and Charles with Yanming, at times. They are super chill with each other.
Charles, Tom, Tim and Yanming have such a genuine quality and you can tell that they really put their all into this. During a fanmeet Yanming actually got emotional and cried. It seriously shows how much love they have for this drama. I would love for a mini-series showing life after Hai Qing comes back to Yan Fei, but who knows. If the stars align it will happen and the actors have clearly said that they are up for a season 2 if possible. How they would involve Jimmy and Ping Jun, I'm not sure. The novel is a great addition to this drama, too. It gives us a lot more insight than we are shown and even adds scenes we didn't get in the drama, which may make you happier with the ending lol. But this drama has only 12 episodes, so it may be an easy one to breeze through but imo this drama needs more attention to understand the characters, the story, and their journey. Actually getting into the heads of each character and their situation I feel won't do justice seeing it once. I also want to say that as someone who has been on the side of being cheated on, even I really loved this drama and felt connected to it. Anyway, just my thoughts.
I do agree about Ping Jun. After re-watching yet again recently and thinking abt it for a while I changed my opinion on him being one-dimensional. I agree with your description of him except being possessive. I don't think he is possessive, I think he is insecure and the love he had for Hai Qing made desperation out for them to stay together. He definitely put up with a lot of bs and he deserved to get out of that relationship asap. My still only issue with him (or rather how he is portrayed) is that we are shown him being an angel that can do no wrong. There is no person, I believe, who does not have any bad qualities. Having bad qualities doesn't mean they are a bad person but they are human since we all have things abt us that are not likeable. They allowed us to see Yan Fei, Hai Qing, and Jimmy's unlikeable qualities, yet Ping Jun had none? I don't understand that. If it's to add to how pitiful he is at the end and through the whole ordeal then they definitely did that well but I don’t like how it was executed. I like Ping Jung's character and my criticism of him doesn't mean that I don't (not that you said that, it's me clarifying). Ping Jun is my second favorite character in this drama and Tim did an excellent job with him.
Saying Hai Qing is a sociopath is taking it a bit too extreme. He is not a sociopath. He did have guilt in what he was doing (multiple times) and told Yan Fei that he is breaking this off. Someone who is a sociopath wouldn't specifically feel the guilt and would not have a care in what they are doing that is actively hurting another person, since they are mostly focused on themselves and how they feel (alike to a narcissist). Hai Qing would have continued with Yan Fei not caring about how Ping Jun feels if he were a sociopath. He loves Ping Jun and DID feel remorse and he expressed it multiple times. He even told Yan Fei that if none of this happened between them that Ping Jun wouldn’t be the one who is hurt (both physically from his accident and also emotionally since Ping Jun was upset on the day it happened). He takes the blame upon himself and literally says it’s his “fault.” A sociopath would never even think of taking that responsibility. Ping Jun is the one that decided to break it off at the ending, citing that their happiness is used up and Hai Qing was taken aback by it. At this point Hai Qing’s choice was teetering between Ping Jun and Yan Fei, but imo during this convo I felt like he was more with Ping Jun even though he loves Yan Fei. Hai Qing even asked "don't you want to come with me?" about him going abroad. You can see through Hai Qing’s mannerisms and eyes that he realizes the pain Ping Jun’s had. He questions Ping Jun saying how little he is in Hai Qing’s timeline, and especially to how Ping Jun says how little their happiness is by which Hai Qing doesn’t necessarily agree about. Ping Jun is making the decision for Hai Qing to go with Yan Fei, a decision that is so selfless at that. I think if Ping Jun did not push that then Hai Qing would still be with him but what they've gone through has done damage. Hai Qing wouldn’t regret getting involved with Yan Fei since the beginning because that gave him hope in his life, but he does regret hurting Ping Jun from Yan Fei coming back into his life. Hai Qing sees what hurt and pain Ping Jun has through what he did and he does feel upset about it. I still don’t like how Hai Qing said those last words to Ping Jun, though. I have to disagree that Hai Qing is an emotional abuser. Hai Qing doesn’t want to control him, doesn’t want to police him, doesn’t belittle him, and the list goes on. Hai Qing is also a very insecure person and one that has a high wall trying to protect himself. At times he may think of himself rather than others due to his arrogance and selfishness, but it’s not from malice. He doesn’t lack the ability to understand other people’s emotions (he clearly can register them) but how he acts is a response to him having to take care of his own wellbeing and not knowing what/how to do with other people’s feelings about him. Honestly are we even watching the same drama? I’m not sure where you are seeing Hai Qing being an “emotional abuser” but I am a person that doesn’t take this accusation lightly as I have also been subject to it.
Honestly no other character can possibly surpass an emotionally + physically abusive and extremely manipulative character like Lu Feng. He owns that title. Hai Qing is not even 1% of what Lu Feng is. Lu Feng is on a whole different planet or even universe. Try watching Round Trip to Love and you’ll understand.
Hai Qing is capable of love as he IS in love with Ping Jun (and also obv Yan Fei) but it's clear that he is a person who doesn’t express his own feelings very well since (I’ve said already) he rushes into things with his emotions rather than trying to rationalize it. I do, however, think that he knows what he wants. He is not dumb. He does get better towards the end of the series though. Neither I nor the actors themselves can agree about it being a rebound (Tom, Charles, Yanming, and Tim have all disagreed with that assumption). It’s not a rebound, neither of them were seeking out another but it just happened. They were definitely in need of comfort from somewhere but it ended up being that their meeting was timed to coincide with what was happening in each other’s lives. Yan Fei already wanted out from his relationship with Jimmy (way before meeting him) and Hai Qing wasn’t looking for one. They didn’t go into it about using each other for their own personal gain (nor Yan Fei using it against Jimmy), but they truly fell in love with each other and each other’s presence. It's notable that Yan Fei is the first person Hai Qing has kissed and also his first love. They share a very passionate love together.
I agree that Hai Qing is arrogant and selfish. He is also a younger person (19 years old) and one that hasn’t fully matured to control or understand his own emotions. He reminds me a lot of a child. He still has a lot to learn and experience and grow. That doesn’t give an excuse to how he is or what he has done but rather a perspective. I can’t hold him to the same degree as I would Yan Fei, for example, as he is on a whole different level in maturity and age. As Ping Jun described Hai Qing: “unpredictable, can be selfish, angry, and can get jealous, says he doesn’t care but he does.” I agree with that description of him. I think Hai Qing's jealousy comes from his insecurity. He also battled a deep depression and came back from that. Hai Qing holds onto the trauma he has from his mother's death (now his grandfather) and that has melded into his personality (like pent up anger, insecurity etc). He had someone ripped out from his life and he's sensitive to possibly experiencing that again by someone leaving him. He's made a strong shield. His anger is connected to that as he cannot control his emotions especially when he is upset. I can understand Hai Qing in this sense because we all may have experienced some trauma in our lives.
Also you don’t 100% know that he will ultimately be alone. We are not given any ending making that concrete, it is an open ending and for our interpretation. The special episodes also may give us a clue in to their relationship, seeing as Yan Fei is waiting for him and through his subconscious we see the bond still being strong. We may be able to conclude that they are in contact while Hai Qing is away, otherwise I believe Yan Fei would not have a dream (or rather nightmare) about Hai Qing and their relationship. We are shown that not everything is rainbows between them, as they still need to grow together as a couple and learn more about each other. The soft scene where they are on the steps is so important, too, as it shows a warmth to their relationship and their closeness. Also the Hai Qing we see in Yan Fei’s dream is different from the series (he is open and warm compared). Yan Fei not having the same Hai Qing may show us how he has changed and grown otherwise we would still see the Hai Qing from the series. In his dream it’s not a Hai Qing that Yan Fei is wanting him to be, rather it’s a Hai Qing that may be a reality and what Yan Fei sees. Whatever may come their way they are deserving of each other and will get through it.
Yan Fei’s relationship with Jimmy is complex. Yan Fei’s loyalty to his mom is in exchange for his own happiness and Jimmy can’t understand that and why he has to be kept in the dark like a shameful act. They may love each other but ultimately they were bound to fail. Jimmy doesn’t want to be in the dark, he clearly is an open person and wants to show off that love (hence he tries to make Yan Fei jealous to get some attention). He is not afraid to be who he is and he needs someone who is like that. Yan Fei has a heavy responsibility on his shoulders and Jimmy can’t understand it. Yan Fei cares about Jimmy and his wellbeing and knows how hard it is for him to have to hide their relationship. They love each other but have no true 'intersecting point.'
I can’t disagree about Ping Jun having wonderful qualities because he does have them, to reiterate. It’s definitely logical to think about how Ping Jun’s qualities outshine Yan Fei’s. Sometimes it’s not about how someone’s qualities are better than another, there may be a singular feeling or experience that makes someone fall in love with another person. I think this is exactly that with regard to Yan Fei and Hai Qing. It’s such a reality that a person can have the most loving, wonderful partner but they are cheated on and their partner loves another. We see it from celebrities to maybe our own experiences too. It is unfair for those who have been cheated on but it’s really an example of what happens. People cheat for a multitude of reasons. I can’t sit here and name off the reasons why Yan Fei is deserving of love from Hai Qing rather than Ping Jun because that’s not what’s important in this conversation. Hai Qing is the one who is responsible for cheating on Ping Jun, not Yan Fei. The quote I like is what Yan Fei said: “At least, we don’t betray our hearts. Although the price we have to pay is so expensive, we can’t lie to our heart.” This can be applied to all four of them. They didn’t lie to their hearts about who they love, even Hai Qing who loved two people at once. Everyone has circumstances and we each as an individual are held responsible for the decisions we make, with whatever outcome and however our decisions may affect others. Hai Qing and Yan Fei had a lack of respect for their partners to cheat on them. What they did wasn't right. I'm not giving excuses for them. But this doesn't mean that they aren't deserving of loving each other or being in a relationship. Their passion for each other is not less deserving just because they wronged their partners. The complexity of this is not always understood and sometimes we just have to leave it at that.
Well, to each their own when it comes to this drama. A lot of people have mixed opinions but because it touches on such a sensitive subject it’s bound to upset people. I understand these people and respect their opinions (as with yours)! And I hope you will respect mine. I think we will keep going back and forth with our differing opinions so I will end our conversation on this note. Have a good day :)
I think what I most like about this drama is that it shows that everybody has a side to them that is not likeable. We start out with our two leads in a very frustrating state of mind and it's clear to the viewer from watching them that we're not going into this immediately liking them. It really is done on purpose to show their current situation. Hai Qing is shown in a bad light with how selfish he is (that doesn't really change tbh) and his frustration is taken out on others, which really makes him look like a big jerk. Yan Fei is in a stressed environment with work and also his love life. Yan Fei may be deemed as inconsiderate and stoic, especially to Jimmy who only wants his affection and love. It's purposeful that our introductions to Jimmy and Ping Jun are not negative. The writers are setting it up to be that way. I felt pity for each character's situation.
Let me touch on Yan Fei and Jimmy for a second. Yan Fei and Jimmy's relationship is unhealthy in many instances, such as Jimmy's manipulation of holding Yan Fei's outing above his head. To me that made me instantly not like him and any sympathy I may have had went out of the window, especially when he outed Yan Fei right in front of him. If you've ever been in this unfortunate situation you know the horror and trauma of this, and those who haven't may not be able to imagine the feeling. Outing someone is seriously a dick move to do and one that the other can never get back. You took away that person's agency and that is SO wrong. Yan Fei was starting to give some assertiveness for their relationship (such as going away together) but then Jimmy pretty much ruins that by his jealousy and selfishness. Jimmy refuses to accept Yan Fei wanting to break up and to me that just shows how childish and desperate he really is. He may love Yan Fei with all his soul but his actions cause so much damage. He acknowledges that in their conversation in the car. It is an extremely unhealthy relationship for Yan Fei and one he needed to get out of, which numerous times he tried. Jimmy starting on the road to finding a peace with himself also made me glad for him. The love that he needs most is from himself. He created such a manipulative and unhealthy environment for both of them because of his jealousy and lack of getting the attention he needed from Yan Fei. Not to say he is all of what's at fault but he played a big part in it. Yan Fei likewise could have put more into trying to mend their rocky relationship and communicate better with Jimmy about their problems. It takes two to tango. Yan Fei's love for him was deteriorating at a pace that Jimmy could not stop, and his actions only helped quicken it. This is not to say that we also haven't acted on selfish impulse ourselves, because we all have to a point, but realizing it and trying to be a better person is what is important. Also, Yan Fei meeting with Jimmy and having the truth clearly laid out was important for Jimmy to understand. He may have been upset and owned up to his actions but for Yan Fei he has moved on already and Jimmy has to also. I pity Jimmy and I do wish for his happiness because he deserves as much love as he gives.
Also!! Yan Fei may have been introduced in a cold manner but he is NOT a cold character. That is what I think many are not realizing. He is not your typical cold, douche-y manager/ceo type seme character. I absolutely LOVE that Yan Fei breaks away from this characterization in a leveled manner and it was so fulfilling for me to experience a character like this. We are so used to this one-dimensional cold jerky seme kind of character and honestly I'm sick of it lmao. He is subtle in a lot of ways and has a undertone warmth to him that is refreshing. His treatment of Pinky especially showed that (and his joke about how Pinky might have expected him to be this stereotype was spot on). I loved his unapologetic attitude of addressing Pinky's inquiry of him being gay. That was one of the BEST things.
Real quick want to say that judging Yan Fei about not coming out to his mom is seriously disrespectful. Nobody can judge another person for not coming out at whatever time and for whoever. The only person that one should come out for is yourself, not a significant other who relentlessly guilt trips you. It's not about being ashamed of your partner, it has nothing to do with it. Yan Fei clearly was ready and determined to show his true self to his mom with Hai Qing, and just because he didn't with Jimmy doesn't mean that he was manipulative with Jimmy or that he didn't love him. I find some of these comments judging Yan Fei to be really disrespectful. Looking down on him and invalidating his struggle or criticizing for what he does and doesn't with his coming out is not the right thing to do even in real life. Nobody should be doing that with anybody. There is clearly a gap in understanding this situation. It was of real significance that Yan Fei decided to do that with Hai Qing and kept refusing what his mom was saying to get the truth into her head. He was in a time where he was confident with himself, his lover and their relationship, and things clearly aligned for him.
I really think that Yan Fei (and Hai Qing) still holding onto each other for such a long separation holds true. They both met each other during parts of their lives where they were on unhappy ends and that made a lasting impression on them, at least lasting enough to keep each other in their minds up until they finally met again. Even to hallucinate during love making with their partners, now that really speaks volumes. At first I didn't realize that Hai Qing took the place of Jimmy until I re-watched it and vice-versa when Ping Jung was replaced with Yan Fei. We have all had certain experiences that have changed us and hold strong in our memories. This exactly is that experience. During this time Yan Fei and Hai Qing meeting was like a beacon of hope, a light being shined. They were able to ignite a spark that had not been there for however amount of time. For Hai Qing, it was especially monumental as it was his first kiss.
I don't believe in Ping Jun's character being this holy saint with no bad qualities. It's one thing that I actually disliked about the character. I felt like his character was one-dimensional and could have a lot more to him. Ultimately the "good guy" doesn't get his happy ending, is what I think everybody is taking away from this drama. Isn't that true of life also though? Not everyone gets what they want in the end. Ping Jun's relationship with Hai Qing was not on the same level. Ping Jun acted more like his caretaker than anything and Hai Qing was comfortable with that. The importance is the world 'comfortable,' or even relating to being content. It especially was clear after Ping Jun's kindness of being there for Hai Qing when he was struggling with his depression. Since that moment it's never changed dynamic. Does Hai Qing love Ping Jun? Of course he does. It's so clear in how much they love each other and their presence together. But his relationship with Ping Jun and their dynamic is not on the same as Yan Fei. It's very different and one that does not make Hai Qing comfortable but challenges him and I think that's important for his character and development. I also felt like Ping Jun destroying Hai Qing's painting and then having to apologize made me a bit mad. Ping Jun doesn't need to apologize and be at Hai Qing's feet. This is exactly what I mean with Ping Jun being a caretaker and being the one to shoulder Hai Qing. All the attention went back to Hai Qing and him being upset about the painting, taking away from how Ping Jun felt. It's this moment when I felt the most upset for him, not at the end with him giving Hai Qing away to Yan Fei. It's this moment where Ping Jun needed to let go, but instead goes ahead with saying how Hai Qing should forget Yan Fei and they can carry on like normal. Doesn't this sound like someone? (cough Jimmy). This is not healthy at all. I really feel for Ping Jun, he loves Hai Qing so much that he'd be so selfless like this. However, it's making this relationship unhealthy. Not being on an equal level as your partner is damaging to both of them. Hai Qing was allowed comfort and Ping Jun happily took on responsibility for caring for Hai Qing's feelings/situation. IMO the best thing that ever happened is at the end with Yan Fei and Hai Qing finally being together. Ping Jun has needed to step away from Hai Qing and I'm glad it happened. I felt like Pin Jun was also fulfilling his sense of being needed and having to take care of someone by being with Hai Qing. Ping Jun grew up taking care of his sibling/s and that has become part of who he is. This harmed both of them. Regardless of my bias for Yan Fei and Hai Qing together, I was happy with Ping Jun being strong enough to break away. Although Hai Qing's "thank you" at the end was.... really not needed. Both Jimmy and Ping Jun go through their pain alone, and they both will have to learn to move on from this experience and heal.
There is also the question: what do you do when two people love you and vice-versa? Easy answer might be break up with the first person and go with the second. Easy right? Well, that's not really reality, is it? We all have different circumstances. Hai Qing knows how much Ping Jun loves him and how much he's done for him, and did not want to ruin his happiness or hurt him. He loves Ping Jung a lot, that's certain. Other side is that Yan Fei, who he has loved since their first meeting, is back in his life and he fell into passion with. Hai Qing did want to stop meeting Yan Fei and was making it clear but then Ping Jun saw them. He couldn't hide from the truth for Ping Jun. Ping Jun has been so selfless and has loved Hai Qing through his difficult times. There is a heavy weight Hai Qing carries through loving who he does and accepting love back. The learning aspect might be that it's brave to love someone but someone else may get hurt in the end. The other part may be that one has to let go of those who no longer have feelings same as you, such as Ping Jun and Jimmy. They are really similar like this. It took a lot for both of them to accept this. Yes, Hai Qing and Yan Fei were wrong to cheat and could have done this and that etc, but things are never easy in life especially when you love someone. It's messy and people get hurt through experiences. Love is not easy. I'm not giving excuses for what they did but rather trying to rationalize it.
About the open ending, I have no negative feelings about it. I'm actually fine with it being open ended and not specifically answering things. Such as: Will Ping Jun move on from this and find love himself? What's up with Jimmy now? Did Yan Fei's mom accept his relationship with Hai Qing? Will Hai Qing stay true to Yan Fei after being away for those years? Etc etc, I could list so many more. The question is do we REALLY need all this info? No, I don't think so. I think maybe the question about Yan Fei's mom might be the most important but the rest I don't think is of high importance. This series felt maybe a slight bit rushed but not overly. I felt like it was only rushed toward the ending but everything else had a good pace. It is character oriented as a drama and I liked that a lot. The SP also didn't make me upset. It just further showed their relationship and what they're going through, even if it was quite heartbreaking for Yan Fei. Seeing Hai Qing through Yan Fei's imagination was quite sad. They showed their tenderness and their conflict in such a short matter of time, both I think are especially needed to address in a relationship and they did to a point through Yan Fei's imagination. Yan Fei was showing his true self and heart through this and his insecurities, it was sweet and sad at the same time. Their relationship is hardly going to be easy. But I do believe they will get through it and become even stronger together. Tom did so wonderful showing Yan Fei's pain, I gotta give it to him for his teary eyes at the end gave me heart pains lol.
By the way, I LOVED how the drama was shot. The usage of shadows and the color blue was done so well. They really played around with each character and couples relationship by setting the tone of the scene. They executed that well. The music is so beautiful, also!
I want to recommend that those who have watched this should look up some of the actors' interviews. It's really interesting to hear about their thoughts on their characters and other characters. They are all really hilarious and are so laid back with each other. They aren't afraid to show skin ship and are open to a lot of things. I have to disagree with one of the reviewers talking about Tom and Yanming not getting on with each other. If you've watched all their interviews you would know that this is not at all the case. Tom and Yanming are good friends and it shows in their interviews. Even Tom has defended Hai Qing's character during one interview. Tom is a more introverted, chill guy and I don't think his lack of 'touching Yanming' says anything negative about their relationship. Yanming is a lot more touchy-feely than Tom. They both have reached out to each other during different times and just because they aren't all over each other doesn't mean they don't like each other. During their press interviews Tom and Charles were mostly paired off together, seeing as Tim and Yanming spent a lot of the drama as a couple. Also Tom and Charles are close friends so I don't see any negativity because I would also probably wanna hang out with my close friend too? I guess it depends on how we individually see things, but by their interviews it's not the case. They also paired up opposite each other, Tom with Tim and Charles with Yanming, at times. They are super chill with each other.
Charles, Tom, Tim and Yanming have such a genuine quality and you can tell that they really put their all into this. During a fanmeet Yanming actually got emotional and cried. It seriously shows how much love they have for this drama. I would love for a mini-series showing life after Hai Qing comes back to Yan Fei, but who knows. If the stars align it will happen and the actors have clearly said that they are up for a season 2 if possible. How they would involve Jimmy and Ping Jun, I'm not sure. The novel is a great addition to this drama, too. It gives us a lot more insight than we are shown and even adds scenes we didn't get in the drama, which may make you happier with the ending lol. But this drama has only 12 episodes, so it may be an easy one to breeze through but imo this drama needs more attention to understand the characters, the story, and their journey. Actually getting into the heads of each character and their situation I feel won't do justice seeing it once. I also want to say that as someone who has been on the side of being cheated on, even I really loved this drama and felt connected to it. Anyway, just my thoughts.