way too long (although this was norm for 2018) So have a hard time with romanticizing palace life/institution - it was an awful, awful practice (still is in some-places) Second half is better than first half - mostly because the first half is just rinse and repeat stories about harem/palace life intrigue, the FL showing how "clever; she by outwitting everyone. I actually got annoyed after a bit - just wanted her to shut up and have some sense of control with her mouth (it was just too unrealistic that she would have been able to do that all the time without any real consequences) While I did enjoy the playfulness/pettiness/childishness that Ying Luo and the Emperor shared (they were a perfect match on that level) - it was hard to really get behind them given what it was based on (his subverting her marriage to Fuheng and her scheming). But I got it. All the actors did a great job, really good production quality and the costumes are amazing If you like historical dramas - this is pretty good, but it is long and draggy - so be prepared
just started this and your review of the FL character (well, really all the lead female characters) was exactly where I am at already and is making me question finishing this - but probably will just for TJC.
just started this (on ep 5) and man is the FL character annoying. She scams her way into town, gets caught and yet, somehow the ML is the bad guy and then she continues to bully and take advantage of him. So not getting the connection right now - but will persevere on for TJC. Also struggling a bit cause I am not a big fan of the stupid, slapstick humor - hoping it will moderate out as the story progresses.
so, I accidentally rewatched this. Was in my queue for some reason and had been so long since I first watched, I totally didnt remember what it was until I started it, then it seemed familiar, so came over here to see that, indeed I had completed it. Definitely worth a watch, but the rewatch wasn't as good. Actually downgraded my rating. There are definitely good parts (the whole downfall/escaping Yangzhou was so well done) - but definitely bad parts (could the FL stop crying every five seconds) I did appreciate the main leads partnership - once they got there. Very communicative and supportive. At the same time (and this is totally because of script, direction and I am sure censorship) - absolutely no intimacy between them (literally dont get a kiss until ep 27) - it was just so unrealistic to the point of absurdity. While they certainly have a connection - it's the want of cdrama land to have this super-chasteness going on - like neither one of them have any sexual desire AT ALL - especially the female character. And it just didnt make any sense after a while - especially after escaping Yangzhou and having a near death experience and they're just like, lets just sit here and hold hands (barely). The whole thing just felt off. And what was with the kid at the end - its only been 5 years (she would have been pregnant for 9+months) and this kid looked like he was 7-8 yrs old - big fail there Also didnt like what they did with the General Qin - so unnecessary and leaves an unmarried emperor on the thrown - makes no sense. A bunch of really unsatisfying endings for most of the evil/bad characters
overall - this is a pretty good one. Loved all the actors in it - everyone did a really good job in their roles. Story was pretty good - although gets draggy in places - but nothing too horrible. Zhang Wan Yi was fantastic in this and such a different character from LYF - his comedic timing was just spot on. And, man does he just have the most soothing, sexy voice. Great FL character that they kept strong and independent throughout. So happy that they didnt turn her into some childish character (especially when she loses her memory - which is where they would have normally done this). Great couple that respected and admired each other - even when they hated each other. True power couple when they came back together. Bromance with the doctor/best friend was fantastic. Chemistry with leads was mediocre - in that they clearly loved each other and true partners - but not a lot of passion here (and that was probably totally due to script and directing). Second couple was fun - but same issue. For both couples, seemed like they exchanged/replaced bickering/bantering for passion. Which for the most part is ok - but where it ultimately fails is on the wedding night - this should have been full of passion having fought so hard to get there - instead you get a drunk groom showing up and her basically nursing him - it was such a dud. Loved the Empress character and did just wish we had more time with her and Emperor actually falling in love - dont really get this until the very end. But she probably had some of the best character development.
I just finished this and your review said everything I thought as well. This was a filler for me - so I could wade through, not being that invested in it - but really was a waste of a strong female lead character - which is what annoyed me the most - luckily, it was only 24 episodes - if it had been longer, I may have thrown in the towel.
short and quick - lots of hot, sexual tension (which is really the ONLY reason you are watching this) - but why-o-why did they have to make the FL so dumb - like box of rocks dumb. This could have been so much better with a FL that had some brains and stopped getting herself into trouble every five secs.
Overall - this one isn't too bad. You are mostly gonna watch this for Zhang Ling He - he really is the one who carries this the most. Its quick and light and pretty easy to watch, but dont expect too much from it. FL character was just odd to me - like they couldn't decide what to do with her - make her a genius detective - but have to save her all the time (literally, by ep 12, she had already had to be saved from deathly situations 4 times). She also just had this pretty stoic face most of the time (not sure if that is because the actress is still young or if this was from director trying to make her seem overly serious) - got a bit better by the end - but not a lot of expression on her face for most it. Chemistry with ML was pretty good (not great and a bit contrived), but I did appreciate that she knew how to kiss - no dead fish kissing here! 1st drama in a long time that I didnt mind the second couple - they were actually helpful and not annoying Mysteries weren't all that exciting and most of them were just done while they sat around the table eating - so it got a bit repetitive and you will pretty much figure then out LONG before the characters do - which then just makes them draggy. Main villain wasn't all that interesting - we have seen it a bazillion time and you will mostly be annoyed by the idea that our Scooby-doo team takes FOREVER to figure it out (which, I get, thats the drama) - but when you dont have any suspense about it - it just becomes annoying as a viewer to watch.
I made it to ep 20 and then just couldn't take it any more - talk about 4 of the most unhealthy relationships - Lordy - all of them need to go find better partners. 1st and foremost - whoever thought the baby sister with the widowed friend was a good idea - should be banned from ever writing a script again. She was full-on stalker girl and everyone around her enabled her because they just dont know what to do with sisters/young women. I know c-dramas have a weird thing for romanticizing stalker behavior - but this one was pretty bad and offensive. Y'all writers out there just need to stop this narrative right now - none of it was ok and should NEVER be romanticized. Next was the main FL - just wanted to slap her silly most of the time - did not get her angst IN.THE.SLIGHTEST. had a crush on a guy for threee year - who never, once showed ANY interest in her. She won't confess - cause she is too afraid to lose the friendship - which then clearly says, his friendship is more important - yet, she cant let go. Then meets a guy who actually likes her and she is then 'torn' - like wtf?!?!? She was so immature, cowardly and indecisive - just hated her and wished he had walked away from the beginning. Just could not see what he found attractive/liked about her at all. Model friend and ML friend paring - this was just stupid - she was just negative-nancy all the time and he was a bit elf-centered. I think they at least tried the most and had the most chemistry. Married couple - they were just awful - he was the childish adult and she was a control freak
Just finished this and just have to say its just ok. Good that it was short - but too man unanswered questions - not jut the ending (although that was bad enough) ML was adorbs - look forward to seeing him in more stuff Glad that bff gives way immediately when she finds out ML has crush on her friend - usually they turn this into a horrible love triangle scenario - so grateful for that. Another HORRIBLE mom - I mean come on - suing your son so you get what you want instead of just letting him be happy - she is the worst! Uncle was annoying - just basically spent the entire series having meltdowns and either screaming or crying Another FL who has no emotional intelligence, stuck in her childhood trauma and not very bright most of the time. Gives up her dream job because she cant deal with her ex (at least she admits it and kudos for her boss for pushing her - the was the test and she failed - so doesn't deserve to be promoted). Isn't even in this job because it was her dream, was someone's dream - so that was weird. No real chemistry between leads - she kind of does the dead fish thing. Hard to imagine intimacy between lovers when the FL is not actively engaged. They also just didnt spend enough time here - they get together late in the series (which for a short drama doesn't help). Too much time spent on flashbacks - which only highlighted how clueless she was. Really hated how they dealt with ex-bf mental health issue - so could have been handled better - didn't need to make him such an asshole and not really addressing his mental health (mostly because asian culture doesn't deal with this topic very well and still seen as a taboo) - so a big FAIL on writer for this. Surprisingly draggy for only 8 episodes and an awful open ending that will leave you VERY unsatisfied.
This drama had such promise - but just failed in the end. Started off so good and then just slowly devolved into a hot mess. FL was interesting in the beginning, but as soon as she regains her sight - they just turn her into the childish character who follows him around like a puppy and sits and stares at him all the time - it was kind of weird. She never really matures or grows as a character - which makes the relationship with the ML kind of creepy at times. Situ was kind of fun - clearly someone who got stuck as a 13yrd old boy - not understanding human emotion yet, but likes a girl, but doesn't really know what to do with it. That young teenage boy who hormones are raging, but doesn't know what to do with it yet. Mr Li is just a sad character really, no that smart and blaming everyone else for his failures. Weirdly obsessed with ML - almost like a lover. Also strange relationship with Sheng (that also felt like almost lovers - clearly Sheng has a crush in Mr Li) Mr Shen was great. Only weird part here was when he did the weird teeth-bearing thing, given no fangs, it doesn't really work. I had all sorts of empathy for him that he had to deal with this young girl who was emotionally a 5yr old and his brother who was emotionally a 13yr old - he had the patience of a saint with those two! Disappointed that they tried to imply a love story with FL - she was just waaaayyyy too young. Should have strictly kept it familial - but they just couldn't help themselves in the end. Miss Jin - just a completely useless character -the spoiled, rich girl who likes the bad boy because he saved her when she was younger - confuses gratitude with love. The character served no real purpose to the story beyond a plot ploy for Mr Li - and then it doesn't really go anywhere. You could have totally not even had this character in the story and it wouldn't have made any difference. Basically just fast-forwarded through any scene she was in. Typical psycho villain lady - does the actress who played ever do anything beside evil/bad characters - she seems to have cornered the market - lol! Total crap ending - although you see it coming from a mile away - just so unsatisfying. I would love to see this redone with more mature characters and better writing. Plot holes up the whazoo and too many sequences that just didnt make sense.
Okay now to answer your questions and theories, firstly it should be understood that XY isn’t a perfct character,…
Its always the female character - always! They just generally have a hard time with female leads/characters anyway, but even more so when its a conversion from a novel. Especially strong and/or complicated women. I could guess this has a lot to do with some very deep-seated misogyny in the country
Okay now to answer your questions and theories, firstly it should be understood that XY isn’t a perfct character,…
It always makes me wonder why they choose to butcher a story so badly. Someone obviously liked the story enough to want to make it - but then they go and change its fundamentals - WHY!?!?! I hear this way too often (especially around female characters). As someone whose only experience is going to be the show (i hate reading novels online) - its just makes me mad. And i shouldnt have to go read the novel in order to get the story.
So, I didnt watch this when it first came out - I waited until season 2 was finished and then watched it all at once. Didn't read any reviews or comments until I was done. I have lots of thoughts about this drama and have to say - one of the most frustratingly, annoying drama's I have watched recently. Mostly because of the FL character.. I think the two best characters that had the most depth of character and complex were XL and CX by far and the actors who played them did a fantastic job. While lots of folks had issues with Jing - I got him - he had been betrayed and literally tortured for years by his family which is what caused him to having a hard time standing up to them. I HATED the FL (not the actress, the character) - it felt like one, long, drawn-out pity-party. If I had to hear one more time about her mom 'abandoning' her (the woman went off to war and died ffs - its not like ti was entirely intentional), she gets caught by the nine-tailed fox because she ran away from Jade Mountain because her dad was too busy and CX had been sent off to be hostage prince and dint come and she didnt want to wait anymore - not anyone's fault but her own. Had she stayed on Jade Mountain, when the change occurs, Queen Mother could have fixed up and she would have been fine. What I mostly had issue with this whole abandonment narrative is that she used it as excuse for her bad behavior. She forgives CX in 2 seconds and her dad after five minutes - both of who actually did, intentionally abandon her and yet, Jing gets drugged and manipulated and is forced to marry this other woman and she won't forgive him for decades. So the whole narrative was just inconsistent. It also didnt work for me because she had the experience of having a family - Skinny, Old Mu and Freckles who loved her, took care of her and never let her down or left her - so, to then make this character behave as if she never had this or know what it was like - didnt fit her abandonment/trust narrative. In the end, I got why she needed up with Jing - he was quiet, stable and safe for her. While the passion was clearly with XL - he was the only man of the four that she actually sought out/looked for - but, he was not safe for her - that kind of passion was too scary for her. But she clearly longed for it. CX was always just seen as a brother to her, she never views him as anything other than that. Much to his chagrin. And FL was something she was going to settle on because she thought she couldn't go any other route and it was to help her brother - but absolutely no love there at all.
So, I didnt watch this when it first came out - I waited until season 2 was finished and then watched it all at once. Didn't read any reviews or comments until I was done. I have lots of thoughts about this drama and have to say - one of the most frustratingly, annoying drama's I have watched recently. Mostly because of the FL character.. I think the two best characters that had the most depth of character and complex were XL and CX by far and the actors who played them did a fantastic job. While lots of folks had issues with Jing - I got him - he had been betrayed and literally tortured for years by his family which is what caused him to having a hard time standing up to them. I HATED the FL (not the actress, the character) - it felt like one, long, drawn-out pity-party. If I had to hear one more time about her mom 'abandoning' her (the woman went off to war and died ffs - its not like ti was entirely intentional), she gets caught by the nine-tailed fox because she ran away from Jade Mountain because her dad was too busy and CX had been sent off to be hostage prince and dint come and she didnt want to wait anymore - not anyone's fault but her own. Had she stayed on Jade Mountain, when the change occurs, Queen Mother could have fixed up and she would have been fine. What I mostly had issue with this whole abandonment narrative is that she used it as excuse for her bad behavior. She forgives CX in 2 seconds and her dad after five minutes - both of who actually did, intentionally abandon her and yet, Jing gets drugged and manipulated and is forced to marry this other woman and she won't forgive him for decades. So the whole narrative was just inconsistent. It also didnt work for me because she had the experience of having a family - Skinny, Old Mu and Freckles who loved her, took care of her and never let her down or left her - so, to then make this character behave as if she never had this or know what it was like - didnt fit her abandonment/trust narrative. In the end, I got why she needed up with Jing - he was quiet, stable and safe for her. While the passion was clearly with XL - he was the only man of the four that she actually sought out/looked for - but, he was not safe for her - that kind of passion was too scary for her. But she clearly longed for it. CX was always just seen as a brother to her, she never views him as anything other than that. Much to his chagrin. And FL was something she was going to settle on because she thought she couldn't go any other route and it was to help her brother - but absolutely no love there at all.
So have a hard time with romanticizing palace life/institution - it was an awful, awful practice (still is in some-places)
Second half is better than first half - mostly because the first half is just rinse and repeat stories about harem/palace life intrigue, the FL showing how "clever; she by outwitting everyone. I actually got annoyed after a bit - just wanted her to shut up and have some sense of control with her mouth (it was just too unrealistic that she would have been able to do that all the time without any real consequences)
While I did enjoy the playfulness/pettiness/childishness that Ying Luo and the Emperor shared (they were a perfect match on that level) - it was hard to really get behind them given what it was based on (his subverting her marriage to Fuheng and her scheming). But I got it.
All the actors did a great job, really good production quality and the costumes are amazing
If you like historical dramas - this is pretty good, but it is long and draggy - so be prepared
Also struggling a bit cause I am not a big fan of the stupid, slapstick humor - hoping it will moderate out as the story progresses.
There are definitely good parts (the whole downfall/escaping Yangzhou was so well done) - but definitely bad parts (could the FL stop crying every five seconds)
I did appreciate the main leads partnership - once they got there. Very communicative and supportive. At the same time (and this is totally because of script, direction and I am sure censorship) - absolutely no intimacy between them (literally dont get a kiss until ep 27) - it was just so unrealistic to the point of absurdity. While they certainly have a connection - it's the want of cdrama land to have this super-chasteness going on - like neither one of them have any sexual desire AT ALL - especially the female character. And it just didnt make any sense after a while - especially after escaping Yangzhou and having a near death experience and they're just like, lets just sit here and hold hands (barely). The whole thing just felt off.
And what was with the kid at the end - its only been 5 years (she would have been pregnant for 9+months) and this kid looked like he was 7-8 yrs old - big fail there
Also didnt like what they did with the General Qin - so unnecessary and leaves an unmarried emperor on the thrown - makes no sense.
A bunch of really unsatisfying endings for most of the evil/bad characters
Zhang Wan Yi was fantastic in this and such a different character from LYF - his comedic timing was just spot on. And, man does he just have the most soothing, sexy voice.
Great FL character that they kept strong and independent throughout. So happy that they didnt turn her into some childish character (especially when she loses her memory - which is where they would have normally done this).
Great couple that respected and admired each other - even when they hated each other. True power couple when they came back together.
Bromance with the doctor/best friend was fantastic.
Chemistry with leads was mediocre - in that they clearly loved each other and true partners - but not a lot of passion here (and that was probably totally due to script and directing).
Second couple was fun - but same issue.
For both couples, seemed like they exchanged/replaced bickering/bantering for passion. Which for the most part is ok - but where it ultimately fails is on the wedding night - this should have been full of passion having fought so hard to get there - instead you get a drunk groom showing up and her basically nursing him - it was such a dud.
Loved the Empress character and did just wish we had more time with her and Emperor actually falling in love - dont really get this until the very end. But she probably had some of the best character development.
FL character was just odd to me - like they couldn't decide what to do with her - make her a genius detective - but have to save her all the time (literally, by ep 12, she had already had to be saved from deathly situations 4 times). She also just had this pretty stoic face most of the time (not sure if that is because the actress is still young or if this was from director trying to make her seem overly serious) - got a bit better by the end - but not a lot of expression on her face for most it.
Chemistry with ML was pretty good (not great and a bit contrived), but I did appreciate that she knew how to kiss - no dead fish kissing here!
1st drama in a long time that I didnt mind the second couple - they were actually helpful and not annoying
Mysteries weren't all that exciting and most of them were just done while they sat around the table eating - so it got a bit repetitive and you will pretty much figure then out LONG before the characters do - which then just makes them draggy.
Main villain wasn't all that interesting - we have seen it a bazillion time and you will mostly be annoyed by the idea that our Scooby-doo team takes FOREVER to figure it out (which, I get, thats the drama) - but when you dont have any suspense about it - it just becomes annoying as a viewer to watch.
1st and foremost - whoever thought the baby sister with the widowed friend was a good idea - should be banned from ever writing a script again. She was full-on stalker girl and everyone around her enabled her because they just dont know what to do with sisters/young women. I know c-dramas have a weird thing for romanticizing stalker behavior - but this one was pretty bad and offensive. Y'all writers out there just need to stop this narrative right now - none of it was ok and should NEVER be romanticized.
Next was the main FL - just wanted to slap her silly most of the time - did not get her angst IN.THE.SLIGHTEST. had a crush on a guy for threee year - who never, once showed ANY interest in her. She won't confess - cause she is too afraid to lose the friendship - which then clearly says, his friendship is more important - yet, she cant let go. Then meets a guy who actually likes her and she is then 'torn' - like wtf?!?!? She was so immature, cowardly and indecisive - just hated her and wished he had walked away from the beginning. Just could not see what he found attractive/liked about her at all.
Model friend and ML friend paring - this was just stupid - she was just negative-nancy all the time and he was a bit elf-centered. I think they at least tried the most and had the most chemistry.
Married couple - they were just awful - he was the childish adult and she was a control freak
Good that it was short - but too man unanswered questions - not jut the ending (although that was bad enough)
ML was adorbs - look forward to seeing him in more stuff
Glad that bff gives way immediately when she finds out ML has crush on her friend - usually they turn this into a horrible love triangle scenario - so grateful for that.
Another HORRIBLE mom - I mean come on - suing your son so you get what you want instead of just letting him be happy - she is the worst!
Uncle was annoying - just basically spent the entire series having meltdowns and either screaming or crying
Another FL who has no emotional intelligence, stuck in her childhood trauma and not very bright most of the time. Gives up her dream job because she cant deal with her ex (at least she admits it and kudos for her boss for pushing her - the was the test and she failed - so doesn't deserve to be promoted). Isn't even in this job because it was her dream, was someone's dream - so that was weird.
No real chemistry between leads - she kind of does the dead fish thing. Hard to imagine intimacy between lovers when the FL is not actively engaged. They also just didnt spend enough time here - they get together late in the series (which for a short drama doesn't help). Too much time spent on flashbacks - which only highlighted how clueless she was.
Really hated how they dealt with ex-bf mental health issue - so could have been handled better - didn't need to make him such an asshole and not really addressing his mental health (mostly because asian culture doesn't deal with this topic very well and still seen as a taboo) - so a big FAIL on writer for this.
Surprisingly draggy for only 8 episodes and an awful open ending that will leave you VERY unsatisfied.
Started off so good and then just slowly devolved into a hot mess.
FL was interesting in the beginning, but as soon as she regains her sight - they just turn her into the childish character who follows him around like a puppy and sits and stares at him all the time - it was kind of weird. She never really matures or grows as a character - which makes the relationship with the ML kind of creepy at times.
Situ was kind of fun - clearly someone who got stuck as a 13yrd old boy - not understanding human emotion yet, but likes a girl, but doesn't really know what to do with it. That young teenage boy who hormones are raging, but doesn't know what to do with it yet.
Mr Li is just a sad character really, no that smart and blaming everyone else for his failures. Weirdly obsessed with ML - almost like a lover. Also strange relationship with Sheng (that also felt like almost lovers - clearly Sheng has a crush in Mr Li)
Mr Shen was great. Only weird part here was when he did the weird teeth-bearing thing, given no fangs, it doesn't really work. I had all sorts of empathy for him that he had to deal with this young girl who was emotionally a 5yr old and his brother who was emotionally a 13yr old - he had the patience of a saint with those two! Disappointed that they tried to imply a love story with FL - she was just waaaayyyy too young. Should have strictly kept it familial - but they just couldn't help themselves in the end.
Miss Jin - just a completely useless character -the spoiled, rich girl who likes the bad boy because he saved her when she was younger - confuses gratitude with love. The character served no real purpose to the story beyond a plot ploy for Mr Li - and then it doesn't really go anywhere. You could have totally not even had this character in the story and it wouldn't have made any difference. Basically just fast-forwarded through any scene she was in.
Typical psycho villain lady - does the actress who played ever do anything beside evil/bad characters - she seems to have cornered the market - lol!
Total crap ending - although you see it coming from a mile away - just so unsatisfying.
I would love to see this redone with more mature characters and better writing. Plot holes up the whazoo and too many sequences that just didnt make sense.
I hear this way too often (especially around female characters). As someone whose only experience is going to be the show (i hate reading novels online) - its just makes me mad. And i shouldnt have to go read the novel in order to get the story.
I have lots of thoughts about this drama and have to say - one of the most frustratingly, annoying drama's I have watched recently. Mostly because of the FL character..
I think the two best characters that had the most depth of character and complex were XL and CX by far and the actors who played them did a fantastic job.
While lots of folks had issues with Jing - I got him - he had been betrayed and literally tortured for years by his family which is what caused him to having a hard time standing up to them.
I HATED the FL (not the actress, the character) - it felt like one, long, drawn-out pity-party. If I had to hear one more time about her mom 'abandoning' her (the woman went off to war and died ffs - its not like ti was entirely intentional), she gets caught by the nine-tailed fox because she ran away from Jade Mountain because her dad was too busy and CX had been sent off to be hostage prince and dint come and she didnt want to wait anymore - not anyone's fault but her own. Had she stayed on Jade Mountain, when the change occurs, Queen Mother could have fixed up and she would have been fine.
What I mostly had issue with this whole abandonment narrative is that she used it as excuse for her bad behavior. She forgives CX in 2 seconds and her dad after five minutes - both of who actually did, intentionally abandon her and yet, Jing gets drugged and manipulated and is forced to marry this other woman and she won't forgive him for decades. So the whole narrative was just inconsistent.
It also didnt work for me because she had the experience of having a family - Skinny, Old Mu and Freckles who loved her, took care of her and never let her down or left her - so, to then make this character behave as if she never had this or know what it was like - didnt fit her abandonment/trust narrative.
In the end, I got why she needed up with Jing - he was quiet, stable and safe for her.
While the passion was clearly with XL - he was the only man of the four that she actually sought out/looked for - but, he was not safe for her - that kind of passion was too scary for her. But she clearly longed for it.
CX was always just seen as a brother to her, she never views him as anything other than that. Much to his chagrin.
And FL was something she was going to settle on because she thought she couldn't go any other route and it was to help her brother - but absolutely no love there at all.
I have lots of thoughts about this drama and have to say - one of the most frustratingly, annoying drama's I have watched recently. Mostly because of the FL character..
I think the two best characters that had the most depth of character and complex were XL and CX by far and the actors who played them did a fantastic job.
While lots of folks had issues with Jing - I got him - he had been betrayed and literally tortured for years by his family which is what caused him to having a hard time standing up to them.
I HATED the FL (not the actress, the character) - it felt like one, long, drawn-out pity-party. If I had to hear one more time about her mom 'abandoning' her (the woman went off to war and died ffs - its not like ti was entirely intentional), she gets caught by the nine-tailed fox because she ran away from Jade Mountain because her dad was too busy and CX had been sent off to be hostage prince and dint come and she didnt want to wait anymore - not anyone's fault but her own. Had she stayed on Jade Mountain, when the change occurs, Queen Mother could have fixed up and she would have been fine.
What I mostly had issue with this whole abandonment narrative is that she used it as excuse for her bad behavior. She forgives CX in 2 seconds and her dad after five minutes - both of who actually did, intentionally abandon her and yet, Jing gets drugged and manipulated and is forced to marry this other woman and she won't forgive him for decades. So the whole narrative was just inconsistent.
It also didnt work for me because she had the experience of having a family - Skinny, Old Mu and Freckles who loved her, took care of her and never let her down or left her - so, to then make this character behave as if she never had this or know what it was like - didnt fit her abandonment/trust narrative.
In the end, I got why she needed up with Jing - he was quiet, stable and safe for her.
While the passion was clearly with XL - he was the only man of the four that she actually sought out/looked for - but, he was not safe for her - that kind of passion was too scary for her. But she clearly longed for it.
CX was always just seen as a brother to her, she never views him as anything other than that. Much to his chagrin.
And FL was something she was going to settle on because she thought she couldn't go any other route and it was to help her brother - but absolutely no love there at all.