liril67488

yup

Quite frankly, what would be horrifying would not be the person wielding more economic power in a relationship helping the weaker partner taking care of their mother, which makes absolute sense (and it is revolting to turn this into a transactional thing). Again, we see that there was no exploitation there, that the guy's mom not only reciprocated by helping take care of YH's kid, but that DH was giving money to his brothers taking them from his account (which we see in 1st episode had very little money... he was obviously not living off his wife while rolling in dough here) and telling them it was from YH. To me, again, this is something completely normal. It was her choice whether she wanted to help or not. And the one wielding the economic power in a relationship helping the economically weaker party, particularly when it was not about a whim, but about taking care of their mother (moving her closer so they could look after her, which given her old age should be a perfectly understandable occurrence for anyone in such a position), seems absolutely normal to me. Again, see above for the money amount considerations. Adding the fact that their family asked DH for help, not YH, and actually his mom planned to mortage her house to help the two brother's new activity.... I mean, they were clearly not exploiting YH and living off her while twiddling their thumbs. They were working. There was economic pressure on DH to help them at his expense (at least in one occasion telling them that it was from YH). There was not really any economic pressure on YH (DH's mom wanted to mortage the house, etc.). DH's mom framed it in that manner because YH made more money than DH and she "had" to work... but that was old fashioned thinking that did not reflect reality. YH was a lawyer, she had a career, she was not working because she was forced to because DH made less then her. I won't accept the notion that her merely making more money means she is "exploited": yes, in many cases the husband makes more money in the couple, in this case the wife made more money, and mistakenly seeing working as a "sacrifice" on YH's part... it was not a sacrifice).

I do hope, by the way, that DH is not paying for her living in the US and pursuing further education. I mean, I am not exactly sure about how transferable her skills as a lawyer are, or about how much money she has saved up. Again, we see DH's account being very poor, but YH certainly seemed to have enough money, considering, for example, that she was thinking of paying JA to live on the run when she wanted to get her out of the picture. This would make the "economic pressure" point even more risible. She also has a sister in the US. On the other hand, we see YH being very willing to pay for his family. But it's one thing for him to support family that would never betray him, it's quite another to pay for YH living in the US and continuing her education after the latter betrayed him in any way imaginable, including conspiring to get him out of a job (first being prepared to get him to mortage his house and take on risk, then explicitly telling JA that she didn't care if he was framed and fired since she was no longer with his boss and it was not her problem anymore). Frankly, contra YH's words, she is not family, the brothers that would have never betrayed him like she did are. His kid is. She is not. It would be atrocious for her to be okay living at his expense. But the show does not give us any indication on what she is actually doing in the US, and her desire to pursue further education certainly hints to the fact that she plan to develop her career there. So, while it's not at all clear whether DH is the one paying for all this after she wrecked his life and put him in a position where he would have to work every day with people that know and gossip/talk behind his back about him being betrayed (public humiliation/social death) and him having to put himself through that on the daily in order to pay for her living in the US and continuing her education seems about the most unfair thing that could happen (particularly when you consider that the only people knowing of his humiliation are his coworkers, who only learned this because the CEO was arrested... these are people that YH would have never seen even if she had stayed in Seoul, and it's a moot point because she is now in the US, which is probably where she would have been happier being in the first place, if we are honest). Thankfully, the drama was intentionally vague about what is going on with YH there, and in my mind I won't picture DH paying for her life and continuing education and future career in the States.

Okay, so that's about the "economic pressure" part. There was no economic pressure on YH. She had the economic power in the relationship and could have afforded to pay for JA living on the run, for example. Meanwhile, DH was struggling economically and had to pay for his brothers taking the money from his rather poor bank account in the beginning. And his mom was thinking of mortaging the house. They were very clearly not living in luxury while exploiting YH. YH simply made more money than DH, but DH worked, and so did his brothers, and in any case DH was the one that had to support them anyway, again as shown in episode 1. Not that helping the less economically powerful person in a relationship for something as important as taking care of their elderly mother should be seen as unreasonable or viewed in a transactional manner. And if they had known that she would backstab DH like she did, or that she viewed those as transactional and expected in return for DH to allow her to manipulate him and distance him from them, I am willing to be that they would have very much done without those favors either.

There is also the fact that yes, she was never at home, DH thought it was because she was pursuing her career, but then discovered it was to be with her lover: his older brother was right to call hogwash on YH's excuse there. In any case, to be clear, it seemed that she was unavailable as much or more than DH: I mean, I can think of multiple occasions where she went out for multiple days and even spent the night outside, even missing important family occasions such as her own niece's wedding... quite frankly, had the situation been reversed, I can easily see how that would have been turned into a "problem": imagine if it had been DH the one to embarrass her and put her in a position to have him justify her absence in front of his family, having to relay. what was an obvious excuse (while hearbreakingly believing her and defending her, all the more heartbreaking since we know that his brother was right to suspect it was an excuse). This is, again, not to say that DH should have attacked her as she did him, but to point out the massive double standard here, with him putting up with all that and suffering in silence, while she had the gall to criticize him when she herself was just as guilty of this, if not more so... again, she was away quite a lot, I would say as much if not more than DH, and her absence involved stuff such as being away multiple days and spending the night outside and missing important family events without even bothering to call (as in the first episode)... again, I cannot recall if DH spent the night at the monastery, and the bit with the monk happened when he was already aware of her affair anyway... I could easily imagine how the optics would be presented if it was her, and not DH, that had to justify to family and friends her spouse' absence at a wedding, and didn't even bother to call... but the double standard in general of attacking him about spending time with his brothers and friends, when she was not there anyway, and she was having an affair with his boss behind his back, and she was in any case missing as much or more, and more frequently over multiple days, and missing family events... On one hand, it seems just cruel to want him to just be alone and suffer even if you are not there, just because of your irrational insecurities/jealousy/possessiveness, on the other hand, you don't see the massive unfairness of you doing the very same thing, and actually much worse, and him never complaining about it. And, again, if the roles were reversed and it was DH trying to isolate his partner from family and friends because of his irrational jealousy/insecurity, we would clearly see how problematic and toxic and controlling that would be. We are not talking about her trying to keep him away from someone that is untrustworthy, we are talking about her trying to keep him away from family and friends because she is jealous and possessive, even while she spends as much or more time away and DH never attacked her over it.

Quite frankly, what would be horrifying would not be the person wielding more economic power in a relationship helping the weaker partner taking care of their mother, which makes absolute sense (and it is revolting to turn this into a transactional thing). Again, we see that there was no exploitation there, that the guy's mom not only reciprocated by helping take care of YH's kid, but that DH was giving money to his brothers taking them from his account (which we see in 1st episode had very little money... he was obviously not living off his wife while rolling in dough here) and telling them it was from YH. To me, again, this is something completely normal. It was her choice whether she wanted to help or not. And the one wielding the economic power in a relationship helping the economically weaker party, particularly when it was not about a whim, but about taking care of their mother (moving her closer so they could look after her, which given her old age should be a perfectly understandable occurrence for anyone in such a position), seems absolutely normal to me. Again, see above for the money amount considerations. Adding the fact that their family asked DH for help, not YH, and actually his mom planned to mortage her house to help the two brother's new activity.... I mean, they were clearly not exploiting YH and living off her while twiddling their thumbs. They were working. There was economic pressure on DH to help them at his expense (at least in one occasion telling them that it was from YH). There was not really any economic pressure on YH (DH's mom wanted to mortage the house, etc.). DH's mom framed it in that manner because YH made more money than DH and she "had" to work... but that was old fashioned thinking that did not reflect reality. YH was a lawyer, she had a career, she was not working because she was forced to because DH made less then her. I won't accept the notion that her merely making more money means she is "exploited": yes, in many cases the husband makes more money in the couple, in this case the wife made more money, and mistakenly seeing working as a "sacrifice" on YH's part... it was not a sacrifice).

I do hope, by the way, that DH is not paying for her living in the US and pursuing further education. I mean, I am not exactly sure about how transferable her skills as a lawyer are, or about how much money she has saved up. Again, we see DH's account being very poor, but YH certainly seemed to have enough money, considering, for example, that she was thinking of paying JA to live on the run when she wanted to get her out of the picture. This would make the "economic pressure" point even more risible. She also has a sister in the US. On the other hand, we see YH being very willing to pay for his family. But it's one thing for him to support family that would never betray him, it's quite another to pay for YH living in the US and continuing her education after the latter betrayed him in any way imaginable, including conspiring to get him out of a job (first being prepared to get him to mortage his house and take on risk, then explicitly telling JA that she didn't care if he was framed and fired since she was no longer with his boss and it was not her problem anymore). Frankly, contra YH's words, she is not family, the brothers that would have never betrayed him like she did are. His kid is. She is not. It would be atrocious for her to be okay living at his expense. But the show does not give us any indication on what she is actually doing in the US, and her desire to pursue further education certainly hints to the fact that she plan to develop her career there. So, while it's not at all clear whether DH is the one paying for all this after she wrecked his life and put him in a position where he would have to work every day with people that know and gossip/talk behind his back about him being betrayed (public humiliation/social death) and him having to put himself through that on the daily in order to pay for her living in the US and continuing her education seems about the most unfair thing that could happen (particularly when you consider that the only people knowing of his humiliation are his coworkers, who only learned this because the CEO was arrested... these are people that YH would have never seen even if she had stayed in Seoul, and it's a moot point because she is now in the US, which is probably where she would have been happier being in the first place, if we are honest). Thankfully, the drama was intentionally vague about what is going on with YH there, and in my mind I won't picture DH paying for her life and continuing education and future career in the States.

Okay, so that's about the "economic pressure" part. There was no economic pressure on YH. She had the economic power in the relationship and could have afforded to pay for JA living on the run, for example. Meanwhile, DH was struggling economically and had to pay for his brothers taking the money from his rather poor bank account in the beginning. And his mom was thinking of mortaging the house. They were very clearly not living in luxury while exploiting YH. YH simply made more money than DH, but DH worked, and so did his brothers, and in any case DH was the one that had to support them anyway, again as shown in episode 1. Not that helping the less economically powerful person in a relationship for something as important as taking care of their elderly mother should be seen as unreasonable or viewed in a transactional manner. And if they had known that she would backstab DH like she did, or that she viewed those as transactional and expected in return for DH to allow her to manipulate him and distance him from them, I am willing to be that they would have very much done without those favors either.

There is also the fact that yes, she was never at home, DH thought it was because she was pursuing her career, but then discovered it was to be with her lover: his older brother was right to call hogwash on YH's excuse there. In any case, to be clear, it seemed that she was unavailable as much or more than DH: I mean, I can think of multiple occasions where she went out for multiple days and even spent the night outside, even missing important family occasions such as her own niece's wedding... quite frankly, had the situation been reversed, I can easily see how that would have been turned into a "problem": imagine if it had been DH the one to embarrass her and put her in a position to have him justify her absence in front of his family, having to relay. what was an obvious excuse (while hearbreakingly believing her and defending her, all the more heartbreaking since we know that his brother was right to suspect it was an excuse). This is, again, not to say that DH should have attacked her as she did him, but to point out the massive double standard here, with him putting up with all that and suffering in silence, while she had the gall to criticize him when she herself was just as guilty of this, if not more so... again, she was away quite a lot, I would say as much if not more than DH, and her absence involved stuff such as being away multiple days and spending the night outside and missing important family events without even bothering to call (as in the first episode)... again, I cannot recall if DH spent the night at the monastery, and the bit with the monk happened when he was already aware of her affair anyway... I could easily imagine how the optics would be presented if it was her, and not DH, that had to justify to family and friends her spouse' absence at a wedding, and didn't even bother to call... but the double standard in general of attacking him about spending time with his brothers and friends, when she was not there anyway, and she was having an affair with his boss behind his back, and she was in any case missing as much or more, and more frequently over multiple days, and missing family events... On one hand, it seems just cruel to want him to just be alone and suffer even if you are not there, just because of your irrational insecurities/jealousy/possessiveness, on the other hand, you don't see the massive unfairness of you doing the very same thing, and actually much worse, and him never complaining about it. And, again, if the roles were reversed and it was DH trying to isolate his partner from family and friends because of his irrational jealousy/insecurity, we would clearly see how problematic and toxic and controlling that would be. We are not talking about her trying to keep him away from someone that is untrustworthy, we are talking about her trying to keep him away from family and friends because she is jealous and possessive, even while she spends as much or more time away and DH never attacked her over it. It just underscores how YH was utterly self serving and indifferent to the impact of her actions on others, and really only cared about herself. DH was not unaware of how she felt, by contrast, he was simply unwilling to distance himself from family and friends for her irrational insecurities, and he didn't owe it to her. He explained to her on multiple occasions that him loving those people did not mean he loved her any less, which, given she had a kid and a sister, should not have been a foreign concept to her. And above all, she was not doing this for the sake of her family, because she was forced and threatened by a violent thug, etc., but for entirely self serving reasons, and it was all completely avoidable. Again, as DH said, she could have left him like his sister in law left his older brother. Again, compare this with DH and JA and their motivations being rooted in their family and friends. YH was completely self serving and self absorbed. I mean, to attack, verbally abuse and gaslight someone you are betraying as completely as she did? To conspire to get him out of a job and have him take on risk and mortage his house in order to make yourself feel better? Your lover being ready to frame them not being a deal breaker, but lying to her about camping being a deal breaker? So much for decades and a kid together. No, contrary to her words, her only priority has always been YH, when push came to shove. She then told JA that she was okay with DH being framed and fired since it was not her problem anymore. It was only seeing JA being willing to risk everything and being unable to betray DH even when she was explicitly paid to do so, while she was supposed to be on his side, and called herself his only family, but she had betrayed him in any way imaginable, that made her change her behavior there. And even then, one wonders what would have happened had her lover not lied to her about camping. Again, on one hand, being unwilling to change one's core values that one has never hidden or lied about, and that she lied about accepting. Or being pushed into crime for the sake of protecting one's family. On the other hand, betraying someone completely, which was not only cruel but entirely unnecessary (given the example of her own sister in law, her unhappiness and even desire to break up are not to be conflated with her massive betrayal: distinct and separate issues, one does not automatically imply the other nor should it: DH had never done anything similar to her, so he had every right to expect her to treat him with basic loyalty, honesty and respect... he didn't need to be perfect, he simply needed to not put her through anything like her betrayal and deception... again, the question here is why she thought it was okay to treat him in that way -we are talking about someone that, with her lover, acknowledged her pain and his struggle to do his duty towards his family, and still joked about betraying him-). I mean, I don't think one needs to belabor the point, because YH's appalling behavior should be self evident to anyone with eyes and basic common sense. In no way comparable to, correctly, being unwilling to give up one's core values because of her irrational insecurities and petty jealousy. I would go as far as to say that if DH had been willing to distance himself from loyal friends and family for the sake of YH, that would have been what would have been wrong, and considering who betrayed who, one can only notice that he was correct in not turning his back on someone loyal for the sake of someone disloyal and untrustworthy. Again, YH accusing him of things that she was a billion times more guilty of, spurning his offer to compromise (even when he extended it while they were both aware of her massive betrayal)... just impossible for anyone with a working moral compass and some sense of priorities to understand how she could be so shameless and self absorbed.

Quite frankly, what would be horrifying would not be the person wielding more economic power in a relationship helping the weaker partner taking care of their mother, which makes absolute sense (and it is revolting to turn this into a transactional thing). Again, we see that there was no exploitation there, that the guy's mom not only reciprocated by helping take care of YH's kid, but that DH was giving money to his brothers taking them from his account (which we see in 1st episode had very little money... he was obviously not living off his wife while rolling in dough here) and telling them it was from YH. To me, again, this is something completely normal. It was her choice whether she wanted to help or not. And the one wielding the economic power in a relationship helping the economically weaker party, particularly when it was not about a whim, but about taking care of their mother (moving her closer so they could look after her, which given her old age should be a perfectly understandable occurrence for anyone in such a position), seems absolutely normal to me. Again, see above for the money amount considerations. Adding the fact that their family asked DH for help, not YH, and actually his mom planned to mortage her house to help the two brother's new activity.... I mean, they were clearly not exploiting YH and living off her while twiddling their thumbs. They were working. There was economic pressure on DH to help them at his expense (at least in one occasion telling them that it was from YH). There was not really any economic pressure on YH (DH's mom wanted to mortage the house, etc.). DH's mom framed it in that manner because YH made more money than DH and she "had" to work... but that was old fashioned thinking that did not reflect reality. YH was a lawyer, she had a career, she was not working because she was forced to because DH made less then her. I won't accept the notion that her merely making more money means she is "exploited": yes, in many cases the husband makes more money in the couple, in this case the wife made more money, and mistakenly seeing working as a "sacrifice" on YH's part... it was not a sacrifice).

I do hope, by the way, that DH is not paying for her living in the US and pursuing further education. I mean, I am not exactly sure about how transferable her skills as a lawyer are, or about how much money she has saved up. Again, we see DH's account being very poor, but YH certainly seemed to have enough money, considering, for example, that she was thinking of paying JA to live on the run when she wanted to get her out of the picture. This would make the "economic pressure" point even more risible. She also has a sister in the US. On the other hand, we see YH being very willing to pay for his family. But it's one thing for him to support family that would never betray him, it's quite another to pay for YH living in the US and continuing her education after the latter betrayed him in any way imaginable, including conspiring to get him out of a job (first being prepared to get him to mortage his house and take on risk, then explicitly telling JA that she didn't care if he was framed and fired since she was no longer with his boss and it was not her problem anymore). Frankly, contra YH's words, she is not family, the brothers that would have never betrayed him like she did are. His kid is. She is not. It would be atrocious for her to be okay living at his expense. But the show does not give us any indication on what she is actually doing in the US, and her desire to pursue further education certainly hints to the fact that she plan to develop her career there. So, while it's not at all clear whether DH is the one paying for all this after she wrecked his life and put him in a position where he would have to work every day with people that know and gossip/talk behind his back about him being betrayed (public humiliation/social death) and him having to put himself through that on the daily in order to pay for her living in the US and continuing her education seems about the most unfair thing that could happen (particularly when you consider that the only people knowing of his humiliation are his coworkers, who only learned this because the CEO was arrested... these are people that YH would have never seen even if she had stayed in Seoul, and it's a moot point because she is now in the US, which is probably where she would have been happier being in the first place, if we are honest). Thankfully, the drama was intentionally vague about what is going on with YH there, and in my mind I won't picture DH paying for her life and continuing education and future career in the States.

Quite frankly, what would be horrifying would not be the person wielding more economic power in a relationship helping the weaker partner taking care of their mother, which makes absolute sense (and it is revolting to turn this into a transactional thing). Again, we see that there was no exploitation there, that the guy's mom not only reciprocated by helping take care of YH's kid, but that DH was giving money to his brothers taking them from his account (which we see in 1st episode had very little money... he was obviously not living off his wife while rolling in dough here) and telling them it was from YH. To me, again, this is something completely normal. It was her choice whether she wanted to help or not. And the one wielding the economic power in a relationship helping the economically weaker party, particularly when it was not about a whim, but about taking care of their mother (moving her closer so they could look after her, which given her old age should be a perfectly understandable occurrence for anyone in such a position), seems absolutely normal to me. Again, see above for the money amount considerations. Adding the fact that their family asked DH for help, not YH, and actually his mom planned to mortage her house to help the two brother's new activity.... I mean, they were clearly not exploiting YH and living off her while twiddling their thumbs. They were working. There was economic pressure on DH to help them at his expense (at least in one occasion telling them that it was from YH). There was not really any economic pressure on YH (DH's mom wanted to mortage the house, etc.). DH's mom framed it in that manner because YH made more money than DH and she "had" to work... but that was old fashioned thinking that did not reflect reality. YH was a lawyer, she had a career, she was not working because she was forced to because DH made less then her. I won't accept the notion that her merely making more money means she is "exploited": yes, in many cases the husband makes more money in the couple, in this case the wife made more money, and mistakenly seeing working as a "sacrifice" on YH's part... it was not a sacrifice).

I do hope, by the way, that DH is not paying for her living in the US and pursuing further education. I mean, I am not exactly sure about how transferable her skills as a lawyer are, or about how much money she has saved up. Again, we see DH's account being very poor, but YH certainly seemed to have enough money, considering, for example, that she was thinking of paying JA to live on the run when she wanted to get her out of the picture. This would make the "economic pressure" point even more risible. She also has a sister in the US. On the other hand, we see YH being very willing to pay for his family. But it's one thing for him to support family that would never betray him, it's quite another to pay for YH living in the US and continuing her education after the latter betrayed him in any way imaginable, including conspiring to get him out of a job (first being prepared to get him to mortage his house and take on risk, then explicitly telling JA that she didn't care if he was framed and fired since she was no longer with his boss and it was not her problem anymore). Frankly, contra YH's words, she is not family, the brothers that would have never betrayed him like she did are. His kid is. She is not. It would be atrocious for her to be okay living at his expense. But the show does not give us any indication on what she is actually doing in the US, and her desire to pursue further education certainly hints to the fact that she plan to develop her career there. So, while it's not at all clear whether DH is the one paying for all this after she wrecked his life and put him in a position where he would have to work every day with people that know and gossip/talk behind his back about him being betrayed (public humiliation/social death) and him having to put himself through that on the daily in order to pay for her living in the US and continuing her education seems about the most unfair thing that could happen (particularly when you consider that the only people knowing of his humiliation are his coworkers, who only learned this because the CEO was arrested... these are people that YH would have never seen even if she had stayed in Seoul, and it's a moot point because she is now in the US, which is probably where she would have been happier being in the first place, if we are honest). Thankfully, the drama was intentionally vague about what is going on with YH there, and in my mind I won't picture DH paying for her life and continuing education and future career in the States.

Quite frankly, what would be horrifying would not be the person wielding more economic power in a relationship helping the weaker partner taking care of their mother, which makes absolute sense (and it is revolting to turn this into a transactional thing). Again, we see that there was no exploitation there, that the guy's mom not only reciprocated by helping take care of YH's kid, but that DH was giving money to his brothers taking them from his account (which we see in 1st episode had very little money... he was obviously not living off his wife while rolling in dough here) and telling them it was from YH. To me, again, this is something completely normal. It was her choice whether she wanted to help or not. And the one wielding the economic power in a relationship helping the economically weaker party, particularly when it was not about a whim, but about taking care of their mother (moving her closer so they could look after her, which given her old age should be a perfectly understandable occurrence for anyone in such a position), seems absolutely normal to me. Again, see above for the money amount considerations. Adding the fact that their family asked DH for help, not YH, and actually his mom planned to mortage her house to help the two brother's new activity.... I mean, they were clearly not exploiting YH and living off her while twiddling their thumbs. They were working. There was economic pressure on DH to help them at his expense (at least in one occasion telling them that it was from YH). There was not really any economic pressure on YH (DH's mom wanted to mortage the house, etc.). DH's mom framed it in that manner because YH made more money than DH and she "had" to work... but that was old fashioned thinking that did not reflect reality. YH was a lawyer, she had a career, she was not working because she was forced to because DH made less then her. I won't accept the notion that her merely making more money means she is "exploited": yes, in many cases the husband makes more money in the couple, in this case the wife made more money, and mistakenly seeing working as a "sacrifice" on YH's part... it was not a sacrifice).

I do hope, by the way, that DH is not paying for her living in the US and pursuing further education. I mean, I am not exactly sure about how transferable her skills as a lawyer are, or about how much money she has saved up. Again, we see DH's account being very poor, but YH certainly seemed to have enough money, considering, for example, that she was thinking of paying JA to live on the run when she wanted to get her out of the picture. This would make the "economic pressure" point even more risible. She also has a sister in the US. On the other hand, we see YH being very willing to pay for his family. But it's one thing for him to support family that would never betray him, it's quite another to pay for YH living in the US and continuing her education after the latter betrayed him in any way imaginable, including conspiring to get him out of a job (first being prepared to get him to mortage his house and take on risk, then explicitly telling JA that she didn't care if he was framed and fired since she was no longer with his boss and it was not her problem anymore). Frankly, contra YH's words, she is not family, the brothers that would have never betrayed him like she did are. His kid is. She is not. It would be atrocious for her to be okay living at his expense. But the show does not give us any indication on what she is actually doing in the US, and her desire to pursue further education certainly hints to the fact that she plan to develop her career there. So, while it's not at all clear whether DH is the one paying for all this after she wrecked his life and put him in a position where he would have to work every day with people that know and gossip/talk behind his back about him being betrayed (public humiliation/social death) and him having to put himself through that on the daily in order to pay for her living in the US and continuing her education seems about the most unfair thing that could happen (particularly when you consider that the only people knowing of his humiliation are his coworkers, who only learned this because the CEO was arrested... these are people that YH would have never seen even if she had stayed in Seoul, and it's a moot point because she is now in the US, which is probably where she would have been happier being in the first place, if we are honest). Thankfully, the drama was intentionally vague about what is going on with YH there, and in my mind I won't picture DH paying for her life and continuing education and future career in the States.