Mai kare raisu

Real Love Isn't Always Pretty

~~Before you read: I read a lot of reviews about this drama once I finished it. Most were talking about how the main characters are red flags, toxic, & blah-blah-blah, categorizing the drama as "bad/cheap/trash." Honestly, all the opinions are valid as they are subjective, but in my opinion, this drama is not that bad. I think it needs to be watched as a social criticism of modern love. I understand perfectly that we don't want to watch "realistic" love; we want to watch a romantic and platonic representation of love—something to heal us and give us a chance to keep falling in love.

Also, since the drama is based on the novel Understanding of Love, I want to think that it's probably based on the writer's personal experience and/or expectations.

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For the first 3–4 episodes, I really felt it was a bit boring. Since it is a slow-burn exploration of relationships, mainly focused on the emotional struggles of its characters, it’s a drama that many might drop, and I was really close to dropping it myself.

I honestly hate Ahn Soo-young [Moon Ga-young], not because of the actress, but because, in retrospect, I felt represented by the character. It happens—we tend to hate the characteristics in others that we don’t want or hate about ourselves.

Of course, I also hate Ha Sang-soo. I want to punch him because he complicated everything too much and caused harm to the lovely characters.

Most of the characters' decisions felt frustrating, and I wished for more growth in their arcs. (Also, I want to protect Jeong Jong-hyun [Jung Ga-ram]—this character is as pure as fresh air.)

Anyways, the acting was good. The main characters delivered heartfelt performances, perfectly capturing the emotional turmoil of their roles. Even in the silent scenes, the look in their eyes said a lot about how they felt, and you could perfectly notice it.

The soundtrack complemented the mood well, though it wasn’t particularly memorable. The bank setting added an interesting perspective to the story. I worked in an office (I know it’s not the same), but I can say that it highlighted the pressures of balancing work and personal life in this kind of environment.

There were moments of raw vulnerability that felt relatable. I went through something similar about 10 years ago—I had been in love for 8 years (at that time), and the man I fell for was also interested in me, but... we didn’t even try because we were idiots too („• ֊ •„)੭.

So yeah, guys, it happens.

After 16 years of being in love with the same man, I can tell you that real love works more this way than we want to admit. We can mess up our own relationships or miss the opportunity just because we’re scared of losing someone if we fail in the attempt. Then, you find yourself wondering what would have happened if you had taken risks or made different decisions, and you learn to live with those noisy thoughts that come up in your mind from time to time.

That doesn’t mean you can’t fall in love again with someone else and live happily with that person. Most real relationships are based on the "easy" options—being with someone who provides you with peace and calm instead of the insecurity of wondering if it will work.

Maybe it’s because being in a relationship that doesn’t feel too significant is better for our mental well-being—if it ends, it ends, and nothing would really happen.

I think that is something really well portrayed in this drama. Even after everything changes, they try with someone else—someone who feels more aligned with their lifestyle or background, someone who loves them for who they are and not for what they could become. They try to fit into their "pattern" in society, adjusting themselves to social standards.

Since Ahn Soo-young feels inferior to her colleagues, especially to Ha Sang-soo—even though he is not in a particularly privileged position due to being raised by a single mother (something that seems unfavorable in Korean society, according to the drama)—she decides to give Jeong Jong-hyun a chance. I think it’s because, on one hand, he is really sweet and gentlemanly toward her, and on the other, he is closer to her "lower class," making her feel a bit more at ease with him than with Ha Sang-soo in that regard.

In the end, you can watch the drama as a good way to improve and take notes about yourself. It could lead you to grow and analyze yourself in a certain way. "Are you being honest in your relationships? Are you communicating, expressing yourself, and your needs properly?"... That’s what really matters. The drama is not just a time consumer; it can be a valuable learning resource with the right critical perspective. You can avoid the feeling of regret if you learn from others' experiences.

If you’ve come this far: Thanks for reading. ( ˙ᗜ˙ ) ♡

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