A young girl, an orphan who is routinely abused by a violent thug and pushed into crime in order to protect her only surviving relative, her disabled grandmother, or a honest and kind person, and a competent worker, who is horribly depressed but still trying to do the best he could for his family, while his wife, who hypocritically claims to be his only family, while his mother and brothers are not, betrays him completely, and chooses to do so exactly with the evil boss who, together with his lackeys, are oppressing him at work and kneecapping his career, and generally are trash that fawns on the powerful while suppressing the weak. I think that for the non-sociopathic portion of the population, it would be pretty easy to empathize with the former. Frankly, it's up there with Bambi or an toddler cancer patient.
I find the evasion and equivocation in the language used here pretty disgusting, to be honest.
"seek emotional solace somewhere else"... she didn't "seek emotional solace", she had an affair with his boss behind his back, a boss he very clearly despised and that was suppressing him at work. Tough, of course, her having an affair with his boss would have made his work life impossible regardless. She also conspired with the latter to get him out of a job, encouraging him to take on debt, mortaging his house, and risk. And did so for self serving reasons, to make herself feel better. So, let me get this straight: his boss sleeps with his wife, and he should be the one to lose his job? In what universe would this be considered fair? And all that because it was more convenient for the two lovers to have DH out of the company. And then, she would have been willing to "remove" JA for her own self serving reasons, and told her she didn't care if DH was framed and fired, because it was no longer her problem.
"then he felt bad"... he was basically suicidally depressed even before that (the scene at the bridge, the scene in the snow, him saying he wished he was never born, and his wife being perfectly clear that he was suffering tremendously and still trying to do his best, and yet joking about betraying him with her lover), and had more than enough reason to be unhappy with being suppressed at work... add to that the fact that he would have done anything to protect his family, and someone that he had known for decades and had a kid with, factually speaking, not only betrayed him completely, and of course verbally and emotionally abused him, and gaslighted him, in the most disgusting way imaginable, but also didn't consider her lover framing him to get him fired to be a deal breaker, and was willing to continue standing besides him and even planning to get DH out of a job with better optics, again to make herself feel better, and because it was convenient for the two lovers for him to not be employed at the company, while planning to divorce him. By contrast, she considered a deal breaker him lying to her about camping. That's what decades and a kid together were worth to her.
Frankly, this flippant tone really makes me wish that the speaker would be put through a similar experience, just to see what tune they would sing... I would suppose quite a different one, unless they were insane. I guess the same would hold if it happened to someone they cared about, but then again, given 1) the normalization of the utter betrayal of one's family, and 2) the admission that they would be unwilling to protect their family like JA did if they were in the same situation, does make one wonder whether they even have someone else they would be capable of caring about to a level where it would matter to them. So I guess the safest bet for a change of tune would still be if they were on the receiving end. And, of course, one wouldn't wish anything bad towards someone associated to them, given that in any case to be close to such a person would be its own punishment.
Other stuff is simply absurd. DH's mom doesn't resent YH (and it would have zero to do with him it she did, by the way), she appreciates her help and feels sorry that she has to work. I find that a misunderstanding and old fashioned thinking... no wonder, given her age... but for anyone else? No excuse... YH is richer than DH. Okay, and? To have a husband whose income is lower is not an offense or a slight, nor something that YH should be commended over.
YH is not exploited, DH's brothers and sister in law stand in her corner (before the affair, the older one even after, which I found disgusting and tried to rationalize as him not wanting her to divorce DH). They work, as do DH, and they get money from DH (who tells them it's from YH). Quite frankly, if YH is going to see favors in a transactional manner, and expect to manipulate DH in return, or even worse betray him like she does, obviously his family would have been more than happy to forego such favors. Compare this with DH's brother paying for JA's grandma's funeral with his whole life possessions without expecting anything in return. To be clear: YH can keep her filthy money (to the extend she contributed there, compared to DH, etc... we know that comparatively she had enough dough to pay JA to live on the run, while DH's bank account was pretty much emptied out trying to get the money to support his brothers, as per ep1), in any case she is under no economic pressure, it's DH the one that is getting money out of his rather poor account and giving them to his brothers while telling them it's from YH (as in ep 1), while his mom plans to mortage her house. So the economic pressure is on DH, not on YH. It's pretty clear nobody was exploiting her, nor asking her for money.
His wife didn't "try" a d**n thing. She pretended to be okay with his values, but was deceiving him and planning to manipulate him based on some favors and spending time with his brothers. She was never interested in really fitting in in the first place, and avoided family engagements with excuses, even if it was her own niece's wedding, when her sister in law was so supportive of her. To be clear, DH's mother helped raise her kid while she was busy with her career as a lawyer. "Not family". Insane.
"His wife tried to establish their family away from the extended family but he wouldn't hear of it. "... I don't know how one could say this with a straight face... I mean, it's disgusting. An elderly parent, who they relocated in order to be able to take care of her better. Someone that raised him alone after their father's death. And she was planning to separate him from them because... she felt jealous and irrationally insecure. Repulsive doesn't even begin to cover it. This is not "love" in any sense of the word. It's awful. It's possessive. It's what one would expect from someone so self serving that would treat the other person like an object.
"Should have seen that coming."... The reason he didn't was because he didn't think of his wife as scum low enough that would be capable of even thinking of doing something even remotely similar to what she actually did. On the contrary, he trusted her completely, and even defended her against his brother's suspicions when they questioned her excuse for avoiding the niece's wedding. I guess he expected this from scum like his boss. But he didn't think that YH would be even lower scum, scum capable of treating someone that would never have done anything like that to her, someone she had known for decades and had a kid with, in such a manner. He was mistaken: she was exactly that kind of repellent lowlife. In other words, since he was no a sociopath lowlife that would consider doing this to his family a viable option, and he didn't think that his wife was such a lowlife either, he shouldn't have seen this coming. If he had thought she was such a lowlife, he should have. So his real issue is that he didn't think she was such a lowlife, but he was mistaken : she was.
I find the evasion and equivocation in the language used here pretty disgusting, to be honest.
"seek emotional solace somewhere else"... she didn't "seek emotional solace", she had an affair with his boss behind his back, a boss he very clearly despised and that was suppressing him at work. Tough, of course, her having an affair with his boss would have made his work life impossible regardless. She also conspired with the latter to get him out of a job, encouraging him to take on debt, mortaging his house, and risk. And did so for self serving reasons, to make herself feel better. So, let me get this straight: his boss sleeps with his wife, and he should be the one to lose his job? In what universe would this be considered fair? And all that because it was more convenient for the two lovers to have DH out of the company. And then, she would have been willing to "remove" JA for her own self serving reasons, and told her she didn't care if DH was framed and fired, because it was no longer her problem.
"then he felt bad"... he was basically suicidally depressed even before that (the scene at the bridge, the scene in the snow, him saying he wished he was never born, and his wife being perfectly clear that he was suffering tremendously and still trying to do his best, and yet joking about betraying him with her lover), and had more than enough reason to be unhappy with being suppressed at work... add to that the fact that he would have done anything to protect his family, and someone that he had known for decades and had a kid with, factually speaking, not only betrayed him completely, and of course verbally and emotionally abused him, and gaslighted him, in the most disgusting way imaginable, but also didn't consider her lover framing him to get him fired to be a deal breaker, and was willing to continue standing besides him and even planning to get DH out of a job with better optics, again to make herself feel better, and because it was convenient for the two lovers for him to not be employed at the company, while planning to divorce him. By contrast, she considered a deal breaker him lying to her about camping. That's what decades and a kid together were worth to her.
Frankly, this flippant tone really makes me wish that the speaker would be put through a similar experience, just to see what tune they would sing... I would suppose quite a different one, unless they were insane. I guess the same would hold if it happened to someone they cared about, but then again, given 1) the normalization of the utter betrayal of one's family, and 2) the admission that they would be unwilling to protect their family like JA did if they were in the same situation, does make one wonder whether they even have someone else they would be capable of caring about to a level where it would matter to them. So I guess the safest bet for a change of tune would still be if they were on the receiving end. And, of course, one wouldn't wish anything bad towards someone associated to them, given that in any case to be close to such a person would be its own punishment.
Other stuff is simply absurd. DH's mom doesn't resent YH (and it would have zero to do with him it she did, by the way), she appreciates her help and feels sorry that she has to work. I find that a misunderstanding and old fashioned thinking... no wonder, given her age... but for anyone else? No excuse... YH is richer than DH. Okay, and? To have a husband whose income is lower is not an offense or a slight, nor something that YH should be commended over.
YH is not exploited, DH's brothers and sister in law stand in her corner (before the affair, the older one even after, which I found disgusting and tried to rationalize as him not wanting her to divorce DH). They work, as do DH, and they get money from DH (who tells them it's from YH). Quite frankly, if YH is going to see favors in a transactional manner, and expect to manipulate DH in return, or even worse betray him like she does, obviously his family would have been more than happy to forego such favors. Compare this with DH's brother paying for JA's grandma's funeral with his whole life possessions without expecting anything in return. To be clear: YH can keep her filthy money (to the extend she contributed there, compared to DH, etc... we know that comparatively she had enough dough to pay JA to live on the run, while DH's bank account was pretty much emptied out trying to get the money to support his brothers, as per ep1), in any case she is under no economic pressure, it's DH the one that is getting money out of his rather poor account and giving them to his brothers while telling them it's from YH (as in ep 1), while his mom plans to mortage her house. So the economic pressure is on DH, not on YH. It's pretty clear nobody was exploiting her, nor asking her for money.
His wife didn't "try" a d**n thing. She pretended to be okay with his values, but was deceiving him and planning to manipulate him based on some favors and spending time with his brothers. She was never interested in really fitting in in the first place, and avoided family engagements with excuses, even if it was her own niece's wedding, when her sister in law was so supportive of her. To be clear, DH's mother helped raise her kid while she was busy with her career as a lawyer. "Not family". Insane.
"His wife tried to establish their family away from the extended family but he wouldn't hear of it. "... I don't know how one could say this with a straight face... I mean, it's disgusting. An elderly parent, who they relocated in order to be able to take care of her better. Someone that raised him alone after their father's death. And she was planning to separate him from them because... she felt jealous and irrationally insecure. Repulsive doesn't even begin to cover it. This is not "love" in any sense of the word. It's awful. It's possessive. It's what one would expect from someone so self serving that would treat the other person like an object.
"Should have seen that coming."... The reason he didn't was because he didn't think of his wife as scum low enough that would be capable of even thinking of doing something even remotely similar to what she actually did. On the contrary, he trusted her completely, and even defended her against his brother's suspicions when they questioned her excuse for avoiding the niece's wedding. I guess he expected this from scum like his boss. But he didn't think that YH would be even lower scum, scum capable of treating someone that would never have done anything like that to her, someone she had known for decades and had a kid with, in such a manner. He was mistaken: she was exactly that kind of repellent lowlife. In other words, since he was no a sociopath lowlife that would consider doing this to his family a viable option, and he didn't think that his wife was such a lowlife either, he shouldn't have seen this coming. If he had thought she was such a lowlife, he should have. So his real issue is that he didn't think she was such a lowlife, but he was mistaken : she was.