Naren

Agree 💯

And I’m not sure if anyone else noticed this, but it also feels like a recurring pattern with Tao, even going back to her relationship with her ex.

When she later says she was sorry for blaming him for not coming to Beijing, it shows that she had already done something similar before. Expecting the other person to understand what she wanted, then resenting them when they didn’t meet that expectation.

That’s what frustrates me with her and Lu Nian too. She often avoids saying what she really wants, keeps parts of her life separate from him, and then when things go wrong, the focus becomes his reaction rather than what led to it.

That’s why I don’t buy the idea that all the toxicity comes from him. Both of them contribute to it, just in very different ways.

That’s a really strange way to interpret “tell your partner.”

Nobody is saying Tao needs Lu Nian’s permission before she walks her dog, helps her friend, meets someone, or makes decisions. There’s a huge difference between "reporting to your boss for approval" and "communicating with your partner because their feelings matter to you".

If I’m meeting an ex, involved in a matchmaking event while I’m in a relationship, or in any situation that could obviously be misunderstood, giving my partner a heads-up isn’t asking permission. It’s basic consideration and trust.

And that’s the actual issue with Tao for me: it keeps happening. Lu Nian doesn’t hear these things from her naturally. He finds out later, often from somebody else, and then gets an explanation.

Ironically, if she genuinely wants him to feel like her boyfriend rather than her boss, including him in her personal life and communicating with him as a partner would probably help with exactly that.

Honestly, this clip feels almost deliberately timed to shift the growing backlash away from Tao and back onto Lu Nian, so that her eventual breakup feels more justified.

And yes, Lu Nian absolutely has things to reflect on. If he knew she loved him, knew she lacked security in the relationship, and still assumed she would never leave, then that is a real flaw and he should own it.

But I also don’t think this suddenly erases everything Tao has done or makes her completely “not wrong.” That’s exactly the kind of one-sided framing I hope the drama avoids.

Both of them have contributed to the relationship becoming unhealthy in different ways. Lu Nian’s emotional arrogance and lack of reassurance matter, but so do Tao constantly shutting him out, not communicating properly, letting him find things out from others, and making him feel like he is never really included in her life.

I just hope this isn’t the start of the usual route where all the blame gets dumped onto Lu Nian so the breakup can be framed as entirely deserved, while the Tao’s mistakes are quietly forgotten.

If they are going to separate and later reconcile, I want both of them to look back and realise where they failed each other. Otherwise Lu Nian’s “redemption” will just become him suffering and apologising for everything while Tao gets no real character growth.

Yess 💯I just hope they wont do this. But can't say. We have so many simp lovers 😂

Can't agree more. I stopped at 17.

You're missing the main issue from her is not telling him beforehand. He has to find out everything at last.
This has happened repetedly with her since the beginning.

Right?? At this point we clearly know both have done lots of shitty things to each other. but people are still separating out Lu Nian. I mean, how can these people be so blind?

At this point, what I really want from the redemption arc is for BOTH of them to reflect on what they did wrong and actually grow from it.

Lu Nian clearly has his flaws, and the drama has never been shy about showing them. He can be insensitive, emotionally clumsy, possessive, and sometimes terrible at communicating. If he has to face those mistakes and change, that’s completely fair.

But I really hope the story gives Tao the same treatment too. She also shuts him out, keeps important things from him, lets him find out about major situations from other people, misunderstands his intentions, and often makes him feel like he is the last person included in her life.

What I don’t want is the usual romance route where the ML suddenly becomes a blind simp who apologizes for everything, suffers, chases endlessly and proves himself over and over, while the FL is treated as if she did absolutely nothing wrong.

A good reconciliation shouldn’t be “he becomes worthy of her.” It should be two flawed people realizing how they hurt each other, changing for the better, communicating properly and choosing each other again.

If only one of them gets a character arc, then it’s not really a redemption arc, it’s just punishment for one character.

Same for her lol. 4 years and she still doesn't trust him

But he clearly maintained the distance from his friend and set the boundaries. She did not! That's the difference. He has changed a lot for her from Ep1 but she's still the same until now.

Exactly. A relationship is two way. Blaming only one person doesn't make any sense. Everyone just starting up bashing Lu Nian and turning a blind eye for Tao's actions.
Both should be accoountable for their actions and both should face the consequences

He clearly set boundaries with his friend and made it obvious where she stood. That’s very different from Tao hugging her ex, especially after Lu Nian had already asked her twice whether she even sees him as her boyfriend.

They’re both flawed, sure, but the situations aren’t really equivalent. Context and boundaries matter.

If she does without realising her own mistakes then she doesn't deserve it

I don’t think the issue is that Tao literally cheated or personally chatted with 45 men. Most people defending Lu Nian are reacting to the pattern, not just the technical details of each incident.

The dating app, meeting the ex, the roommate situation, etc. can all individually be explained. But the recurring problem is that Lu Nian is always the last person to know anything. He keeps finding out from other people, screenshots, or situations happening in front of him, and only then does Tao explain. That would make almost anyone feel excluded and insecure in a relationship.

And I don’t think the Zang Yao comparison is quite the same. Lu Nian never dated her, never hid meetings with her, and Tao already knew who she was and what the situation was. With Tao’s ex, Lu Nian literally had to find out after the fact. Context matters.

Same with the flatmate. Walking a dog or laughing together is obviously not cheating. The issue is that Lu Nian already feels like Tao keeps a huge part of her life separate from him, while he has gradually started bringing her into his world, introducing her as his girlfriend, supporting her work, and changing how he treats the relationship.

And nobody should blame Tao for being assaulted or say she “should know better” because she drank. That part is completely separate. But being drunk also doesn’t automatically erase why Lu Nian might feel hurt seeing her ex carrying and taking care of her while he is standing there.

The marriage conversation is probably the biggest example of the disconnect. Tao is imagining a future with him, but from Lu Nian’s perspective he has just been hit with multiple things he didn’t know about and is questioning whether he is actually part of her life in the same way she is part of his. So his reaction doesn’t come out of nowhere.

Lu Nian absolutely has flaws and the earlier episodes made that very clear, but I feel like the drama constantly examines his mistakes while Tao’s behaviour gets explained away. A relationship can have no cheating and still have serious problems with trust, communication, and making your partner feel like a priority.